YSaC, Vol. 1485: A Capitalist and His Dog
Two ads for the price of one, today – posted in the same location by (I desperately hope) the same person:
LOOKIN FOR A ROOM FOR MYSELF AND DOG
HELLO HERE IS A PERSON THAT IS LOOKIN FOR A ROOM TO RENT FOR HIM AND DOG I GOT A MED SIZE DOG HE IS HOUSE TRAINED AS I WILL NOT KEEP HIM IN A CAGE WHERE I GO SO DON,T HE I SLEEP ON THE FLOOR DON,T LIKE THE BED IF YOU GOT A ROOM PLEASE MESSAGE BACK THANKS I DO NOT DRIVE
ALSO MY DOG DOES NOT LIKE CATS
Hello person. While it is refreshing to read a post that does not overuse apostrophes, I suspect it is not the case that all the other people flinging them about willy nilly have used them up. On the other hand, it’s possible that what I perceive to be commas in the middle of your contractions are in fact really apostrophes that have run out of helium.
$550 LOOKIN FOR A APARTMENT WITH A SHOWER
HI HERE VIS A PERSON WITH A D O G THAT,S LOOKIN FOR A APARTMENT IT MUST HAVE A SHOWER I CAN PAY MONTHLY IF YOU GOT ANYTHIN PLEASE MESSAGE ME BACK THANKS WOULD LIUKE THE SECOND FLOOR OR BOTTOM
I don’t understand – why would you pay your shower monthly?
Thanks for the puzzlement, Laura!
DEAR PERSON WITH DOG – STOP YELLING AT ME, I’M TRYING TO TAKE A SHOWER!
Sorry about. I’m having a problem CONTROLLING THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!
I’ve seen Dog on television…and there’s no way he’s house trained.
Or knows how to use a shower.
And he, too, has trouble controlling the volume. Not to mention the frequency.
Get your helium here! Is your apostrophe sagging? Let me INFLATE it for you! $1 a blow!
Hmm, maybe I should charge a little more. I don’t know what the going rate for helium blows is currently.
I’d tell you to get to a corner, but it sounds like you’re already on one 😉
♪♫ My name is Liuke… I want to live on the second floor… ♪♫
I am also willing to live on the bottom. Spongebob seems to enjoy it.
Use the force, Liuke!
Do you KNOW how sensitive dog’s hearing is? Yeah, miserable life for them to live with somebody who’s shouting all the time.
Remember, kids, capsloc is cruelty to animals.
To be fair, when using my iPhone I often confuse the apostrophe and comma buttons. Then again, I also know where the backspace button is, so it’s not really an issue.
A Goy and His Dog
by Harlan Ellison
“Do you know what love is?”
“Sure I know. A boy loves his goy.”
I would like to make a complaint please.
After reading Dan’s comments I now have to (1) head to bathroom to clean all eyemake-up off my cheeks, chin and neck, (2) re-apply eye make-up, and (3) have a glass of ice-cold water to stop the recurring hiccups and burst of laughter that threaten my make-up.
I’ll take my payment in Bedazzled Bees please
TP
My work here is done.
Maybe he only takes one monthly?
No doubt a condition (required) of (by) parole (officer).
(Possibly by the entire staff at the adult {or canine} probation office.)
HI HERE,S DOG LOOKIN FOR BED TO RENT FOR HIM AND FLOOR HIS OWNER I NOT SO GOOD WITH THE CATMATH SO OWNER PAY MONTHLY IN SQUID BEAK OWNER NOT HOUSE TRAINED USE SHOWER SO DON,T I DO NOT BITE
MUCH
HIT ME UP LIUKE
CATS ARE TASTY
[teeny-tiny phone corey]
Until I upgraded to Galaxy S II–a scant 11 months’ ago–my Sanyo flip-phone was only just “clever.” Said phone’s text keys did include some typographic symbols lurking as part of the menu choices upon pressing the “1” key.
However, an apostrophe was not one of those. Which meant I had to use a comma to express quotes or apostrophes.
Which is why I seldom engaged in text communication with that phone.
Also why I virtually never used it as an online device, too (that and a screen not much bigger than a stamp without zoom capabilities).
Had I been a canine companion seeking accommodations, though, I would have sought ought out a library or such similar public operation to peck out a CL ad. But, I also shower more frequently than merely monthly, other than by aggregation.
[/corey]
(Channeling my inner ghostbuster)…
“Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!”
Miss MNN, Congrats on your first time in the box! Here’s your card, hold it up in front of your face, and close your eyes. Do you have health insurance? Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Bottom Dwellers!