YSaC, Vol. 1479: I’ll just put my feet on the table, then.
Living room furniture set – $100
– Set includes full size couch, love seat, single chair and coffee table
– All in great condition
– Contact for details
– includes good company
– Matt you’re a gem.
At first glance, this ad is doing so well. They have successfully identified a couch, a love seat, and a chair. (Granted, they avoid the dreaded ottoman despite there being one in the picture, but who can blame them, really?) But on closer inspection, we end up noticing the assiduously placed (and aptly named) Matt. Matt apparently comes with the living room set.
Is this something people actually want these days? Does a supposedly* naked man add some kind of gravitas to a furniture arrangement of which I am unaware? Are my friends mocking me because I don’t have someone ass-end-up on my living room floor?** Should I rent a Matt for parties and soirées so that my social standing remains intact?
Thanks, Arwynne!
*I’m not convinced he’s actually naked; it looks to me like he’s wearing tights or shorts that simulate nakedness. Although that would imply that there is such a thing, and that someone would own and wear them, and that brings up a whole different set of questions in my brain, so it might actually be easier to think that he IS naked. Although, …. oh dear. This is a circular argument that I’m never going to get out of.
**Well, not today, anyway. We call that Tuesday.
I don’t think he’s wearing simulated-nakedness shorts; upon close examination it looks like Matt has a farmer’s tan on his legs, probably from wearing normal shorts. [/nakedmatt]
Now I have to go scrub my eyes with steel wool.
Or he’s wearing these:
http://blackmilkclothing.com/products/muscles-leggings
Hmmm. Does this piriformis make my butt look big?
Rebecca- EEWWEEE!! No No NO !!
** my Not.A.Lion likes the guide to where to bite **
At first I thought the matt had tanned legs from bermuda shorts, but the color was a bit too…spray tan.
Thinking no one would do that, even someone with an inclination to be seen naked in a CL image, I reconsidered and have decided that matt’s day job is grapestomping. That explains the really dirty feet, because his feet were still wet when he stepped out of the grape-stomping tub.
So I take it “love seat” is a euphemism for the naked guy’s ass?
I see that after raging out here on YSaC, Matt likes to kick back, strip down, and hide under the love seat just like anyone else.
What’s the big deal about having a floor matt in front of a sofa made by a good company? That way you don’t have to take off your muddy boots. I wore a hole in a good rug once because I didn’t have a matt.
Was it a black hole? Because that would be assinine.
You dropped these: [matte][/matte] <G>
Some tasteful slipcovers would definitely improve this room.
Heck of a way to start a Thursday, Hoping there’s a g-string (which, one hopes–if only for the sake of the carpet–is not a Born Naked cover band).
I’d always envisioned the corner as having a more open plan.
Matt looks more like a mannequin. A female one, at that. But if you really believe you’ll get an entire room of furniture for a hundred bucks with no strings attached, then you’re already familiar with dummies….
A bit early to be forcing gender identities upon the nonreflectopr0n, isn’t it?
It’s the perfect set, except for the coffee table. But I think I can fix that.
Ah, you beat me to it!
Naked man ottoman you’re doing it wrong.
Indoor parking for my bike!
“Includes good company. Matt, you’re a gem” says to me that Matt is the good company and if I take the furniture, I have to take the good company, Matt, with it. Ummm, no thanks!
“Includes good company”?
So, this living room suite is, what, $100 the hour, or $500 for the whole night?
Or is this a way to unload Solyndra or Shearson-Lehman or Enron? Why, I’d rather have a nak– er, dang it . . .
(Wonder what Matt is photographing under the couch–snakes, aunties, what?)
Considering that gems are dug out of the ground… *considers picture, grabs loupe*
Yep, what I thought, there’s a deep crack in it that gem.
[jedi anti-horking mind thingie]”That is not a gem you are looking at!”[/jedi flees]
I believe they are called the family jewels.
I’m thinking that Sparky did not have a camera handy to take a picture, so he asked his good friend Matt to do so. Matt, having that boyish, frat-brother sense of humor that he does, took all the pictures with a naked person.
[sarcastic Sparky]Gee, thanks Matt for giving me a bunch of pseudo-reflectopron for my Craigslist pics. You know, you’re a real gem for that.[/sS]
Dave, at least you are never lonely in the baux, what with the ferret tribe and all. And you keep busy cleaning up after them. 8) Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Ass-tute Decorators!