YSaC, Vol. 1478: Looking for P.D.Q.’s descendent.

2013 March 27

FEMALE YEARS YOUNG – w4m – 25


25 YEARS YOUNG. 5’5 1/2 average weight, Would like to meet man 52- 25 year’of age. Must be honest and real. NO GAME’s. WERE NOT KIDS ANYMORE ! I Love to have fun ! Barbeques, beach, camping, few times a year, Movies, parks, grandchildren, garage sales, walks, beach and just good old family life. Get back to me if you like at least a few thing I like.

I dunno, if you only like a few times a year, does that mean you’re going to be grouchy all of the rest of the time? Is this some sort of reverse PMS? Also, I call shenanigans on a 25 year old who lists “grandchildren” as a like. That, and having fun. Nobody likes to have fun. That’s just silly.

Still, I might like a few Thing you like. The John Carpenter one from 1982 is obviously the best of the bunch, of course, but the 1951 version is campy fun. If you’re going to defend the 2011 remake, however, I may have to draw the line.

Thanks for the post, Tony!

43 Responses leave one →
  1. 2013 March 27

    I’m going to add “## years young” to my Big Book of Felony Phraseology, right between “hard at work or hardly working” and “long time no see.”

    Penalties up to 80 house centipedes will be given to repeat offenders.

    Adores: 11
    • 2013 March 27

      My least favorite is “Hot enough for ya?” What do they expect me to say; “No, it’s not, could you go turn up the Sun’s thermostat until birds start spontaneously combusting mid-flight?”

      Adores: 10
      • 2013 March 27

        Sorry, I live in the upper Midwest. What is this, how do you say, “hot?”

        Adores: 4
        • 2013 March 27

          That’s right, you have that “winter” thing I’ve heard so much about. Sounds dreadful.

          Adores: 6
      • 2013 March 27

        Mine is “Oh, you’re here.” in response to seeing me walk into a room.

        I invariably retort with, “No I’m not, you’re seeing things. Better make an appointment with your doctor right away. There’s something wrong with you.”

        If they know me, they laugh. If not, there’s that moment when the flicker of doubt about their sanity crosses their face.

        I live for those moments.

        Adores: 11
        • 2013 March 27

          Once, when I was heading back to work after a haircut, a coworker asked, “Is that you?” I was on good enough terms with that person that I could get away with answering, “No.”

          Adores: 6
        • 2013 March 27
          CapnMac permalink

          You should add, “That’s persisted for more than four hours’ perhaps you need to seek immediate medical attention…”

          Adores: 2
        • 2013 March 27
          camille permalink

          I have a feeling that this site has an above-average concentration of fans of that old Mad Magazine feature called “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.”

          Adores: 3
        • 2013 March 27

          I know we have an above-average concentration of smartasses, but that’s probably unrelated.

          Adores: 6
      • 2013 March 27
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        Irregardless of the temperature, let’s stay on point here!

        Adores: 0
  2. 2013 March 27
    DigitalAxis permalink

    Look, just because xe’s only been female for 25 years doesn’t mean you can make fun of xim.

    Adores: 4
  3. 2013 March 27
    DigitalAxis permalink

    Seriously, I mean, it makes conversations hard to follow.

    Adores: 3
    • 2013 March 27
      DigitalAxis permalink

      “WERE NOT KIDS ANYMORE”
      You mean, are kids now?

      …time travel is confusing.

      Adores: 6
      • 2013 March 27

        Between that and the fact that she’s looking for a man 52-25, I think she’s looking for Benjamin Button.

        Adores: 15
        • 2013 March 27

          ♪♫ In the year, 52-25, If man likes a few thing I like…

          Adores: 7
        • 2013 March 27
          CapnMac permalink

          Thank you, TC, for knocking loose the “Forever Young” earworm.

          Sadly, it is replaced with the off-key version from Aliens III . . .

          To erase that, I shall probably need to find Ein Kleine Nachtmusik on bagpipes

          Adores: 1
    • 2013 March 27
      NotALara permalink

      I just read an article that said to get rid of an earworm, you should do complex mathematical computations.

      And isn’t Cat Math as complex as it gets?

      Adores: 0
  4. 2013 March 27

    Female Years Young was Sparkinetta’s failed Corrs cover band.

    Adores: 5
    • 2013 March 27
      NotALara permalink

      The sad part is that you know she left it blank so she could fill it in once she decided on what phony age to give, then went on her merry, myopic way and forgot about it.

      “Let’s not get hung up on an age in the headline, it’ll just hold me back! I’ll go back and fill it in once I decide on–look, a butterfly!”

      Adores: 2
  5. 2013 March 27

    NO GAME’s. (snip) I Love to have fun !

    But games are so much fun! Dominoes, Pictionary, D&D, 7 card wild deuces dealer’s choice poker! Sparkette, you’re no fun anymore.

    Adores: 4
    • 2013 March 27

      Who doesn’t love Strip Parcheesi?

      Adores: 4
      • 2013 March 28
        Supreme Ruler permalink

        I may or may not have played strip backgammon.

        Adores: 1
  6. 2013 March 27

    Crap… how old is my Wife in female years? How do they line up with normal years, or even the man year?

    How long is a Female year, anyway? Did I already miss my Wife’s female birthday? Do I miss it a lot? Has it never happened?

    SO MANY QUESTIONS!

    Adores: 12
    • 2013 March 27

      If my Mom is any indication then it’s like figuring out dog years, but instead of multiplying by seven you divide by whatever number keeps her age at thirty-nine. (Which is getting weird, since if it were true she would have had me when she was six.)

      Adores: 6
      • 2013 March 27

        So… Women Years are like the Earth Clock?

        Man, this is even more complicated than I thought. I think that means that either I’ve been missing my Wife’s woman year birthday every instant since I met her… or she’s never had one yet.

        Maybe I’ll just get her some wine and chocolates and call it even.

        Adores: 3
      • 2013 March 27
        tigprincess permalink

        Ghostie – your mother’s math is perfect. I must get her to teach my children her system.

        (P.S. you’ve no idea how I had to think about that sentence in terms of tense and plurals versus singular. The trials of same language, different words etc. No wonder Sparketta has problems.)

        Adores: 4
      • 2013 March 27
        mudslicker permalink

        Pretty soon she will have had you before she was even born! Amazing!

        Adores: 3
    • 2013 March 27
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, your best best is to just start going out and randomly buying lavish presents on a frequent basis. Label them all “Happy πx10 Birthday!” and hide them among her things.

      Adores: 1
      • 2013 March 27
        DigitalAxis permalink

        No one ever specified WHICH birthday you have to celebrate. Next year I’ll be celebrating my 21st birthday, again. I didn’t do it right the first time.

        Adores: 4
        • 2013 March 28
          Kaziganthi permalink

          All female’s birthdays are x is equal to or less than 39. Therefore, once said female has reached 39 she remains 39. So even if you and said female were born on the same day and same year and you are 52 she is 39, you are 67 she is 39, you are 45 she is 39. This equation is true until she reaches an age where she is proud to have lived that long (maybe 109.)

          Adores: 3
  7. 2013 March 27

    A quick Google search says the average weight for women 5’5″ is 117-155 pounds. Giving her the high end, since she says she’s 1/2 average weight, she’s 77 and a half pounds. I think she needs to get on a better diet. Something consisting of this strange thing called food.

    Adores: 5
    • 2013 March 27

      Why bother when she’s just a good stomach virus away from her ‘ideal’ weight?

      Oh, and she works in the fashion industry, btw.

      Adores: 5
    • 2013 March 27
      Windrose permalink

      Tell me more about this “food diet” of which you speak.

      Adores: 3
      • 2013 March 27

        It’s like a liquid diet, only there’s more chewing involved.

        Adores: 7
    • 2013 March 27
      DigitalAxis permalink

      Food? Pshaw. Breathanarianism hass MILLIONS* of happy** followers*** who have led long**** and fulfilling***** lives******

      *no
      **so they say
      ***doubtful
      ****also doubtful
      *****no
      ******if you call that living

      Adores: 3
  8. 2013 March 27
    PhantomBanker permalink

    Must be honest and real.

    Yep, because online personal ads are the best place to find honest and real people, especially free sites like Craigslist.

    ‘Cuz, you know, “they can’t put anything on the internet if it isn’t true.”

    Adores: 7
    • 2013 March 27
      PhantomBanker permalink

      The more I think about it, we should use our synergistic resources and pair her up with this guy.

      Adores: 1
  9. 2013 March 27
    mudslicker permalink

    If I had to take a guess, Sparkette here only had three numbers working on her keyboard: a five, a two and a one. So she decided to mix it up a bit.

    Adores: 0
  10. 2013 March 27
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Can’t tell if gold digger or golden cougar….

    Adores: 1
  11. 2013 March 27
    Ralph permalink

    52 – 25 or fight!

    Adores: 1
  12. 2013 March 27
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    I don’t get the issue here. 52 – 25 = 27. I know plenty of underachieving, family life-loving (so much so that they live in their parent’s basement) 27 year olds who are grandparents to children too many to list. It’s a match made in heaven.

    Adores: 4
  13. 2013 March 27
    Grumpy Grammy permalink

    Ghostcat’s mum was 6 when she gave birth. I was a precocious 4 year old. By the way, my age is 44 and some months. You don’t/won’t know how many “some” is.

    Adores: 2
  14. 2013 March 28

    CJ and Yancy, I had extra time this morning so of course I am running late! 8) Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Christian’s Single!

    Adores: 0

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