YSaC, Vol. 1457: Tonight, on the ABC Mystery Movie…
2013 February 26
How many times have you said to yourself: “Self – I would like to sell this chair on the list of Craig, and I have heard that items are more likely to sell when they include a photograph of the item in question.”
Lots, right?
But what if your camera is not equipped with any sort of light-making device? This is clearly an insurmountable obstacle, given how few homes are equipped with artificial light-making devices, and the total lack of a class G main sequence hydrogen burning star at the center of our solar system.
Or IS it?
Lazy Boy Rocking Chair
Very confortable chair with a side lever for a foot rest. Solid chair! Removable back for easy transprtation.
A triumph of human ingenuity!
Thanks for the inspiration, Stephanie! I may cry.
The chair finally had its day in the spotlight.
Dark Chair, you don’t have to put on that flashlight
Those days are over
You don’t have to sell your upholstery at night.
Wait a minute. Sparky did us a favour. The spotlights are highlighting the stains on said chair. Yuck!
*whistles* Here spot, good spot…sit.
Lazy Sparky photographing chair.
And WTF is that purplish thing next to it?
:squints:
It looks like an upside-down bike helmet. Or possibly a zombie’s face.
Riding the chair may be hazardous to your health. Hence: the helmet.
You should always use protection when *riding the chair.
* Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
You must be this high to ride the chair. If you are not high enough, Sparky may have a little something to help you get there.
Probably that jug of engine coolant/wiper fluid/mystery liquid behind the chair.
I keep expecting a necromorph to pop out from behind the chair and try to eat my head.
But this model, trust me you do NOT want the ADHD Boy Rocking Chair.
Man, those are some giant orbs!*
*that’s what she said*
I move that we table this discussion until the chair can be moved outside, where chairs really belong!
Na na na na na na na na
Bat… huh.
Invisible Batman is one of those ideas that only sounds good on paper.
Or not on paper
Because they couldn’t draw him
He’d be invisible
You’d just see a freshly punched Joker flying backwards through the air
You know you’re a lazy boy when you can’t even be bothered to turn on the lights.
And yet it took more energy to find the flashlight (especially since most flashlights are better known as dead-battery storage devices), hold the flashlight with one hand, and take four pictures while holding the camera with the other hand than it would’ve taken to simply flip a switch and take one pic.
If I had to take guesses, I’d say this chair is in a prominent part of the house…say, the basement or the garage. Working light bulbs tend to be scarce in these areas of the house. On a positive note, I’m sure that corduroy smells dee-lish!
All would have been solved it this Craigslister had simply murdered someone near the chair and waited for the Crime Scene Techs to set up Klieg Lights and then taken the photo.
That has to be the worst disco ball I’ve ever seen.
The first two pictures show a bottle of orange fluid. That’s either windshield wiper or engine coolant. I hope Sparky’s clever enough not to use one for the intended purpose of the other. The last two pictures show a bike and helmet. The inside-products-in-garage meme raises its grouchy head again. Either Sparky intentionally took the pictures dimly lit so we wouldn’t see his serial-killer-themed garage or he’s lived in the house for ten years thinking the garage door opener’s light is the only functional one and the switch on the wall coupled with the bulb in the ceiling are just for decoration.
Yay, I was right about the helmet! I’m a bit disappointed that it wasn’t a zombie’s face, though.
The zombie’s are all in Montana (or some other cold M state) freezing.
ice zombies … hmmmmm
Frosty the zombie, was as dead as he could be
With a corpse-like funk and a broken nose
And two eyes that he just stole
I posted before I saw this! Yancy “pre-stole” my guess about the garage.
The flashlight is needed when you are breaking into other people’s storage units to sell their stuff. Rather more Storage Whores than Wars, sadly.
Attention, all toys hiding in the cushions! We have you surrounded! Come out with your labels up!
Are you keeping the old french fries, chips, etc? If not I know some place where you can sell all kinds of vintage “stuff”?
opps, I forgot the pre-chewed bubble gum.
Is it odd that I keep hearing someone saying “Hey y’all, watch this!”?
How would I sit in the chair? Its got a side lever for a footrest so I’d have to twist around and then …now I see why Sparky is selling this ‘solid chair’. He’s hurt his back – therefore removable back for easy tranprtation. The O disappeared when he hurt his back.
Now with a crippled back Sparky cannot reach any light switch hence the flashlight illumination. And we’ve been so snarky towards him … poor Sparky is in pain.
Its still a No to the chair.
Either you have to ride the chair sidesaddle, or Sparky misspelled “contortable”.
Ladies should always ride sidesaddle, you never know what sort of scoundrels and rogues might be lurking about hoping to catch a glimpse of ankle.
MacGyver: “Let’s see what’s around here to use to get out of this serial killer’s garage.
*shines flashlight around*
“OK, bike helmets, assorted automotive fluids, a stanky-ass chair with a broken back…”
*builds fully functional Abrams tank with confortable, if stained, driver’s seat. Blasts way out of garage*
“Screw you, man. Put the lotion on your own damn skin.”
I’ve discovered the solution to Sparky’s lighting problems!
:lights chair on fire:
The lights would suggest that Sparky is one of the Mysterons. Presumably he’s hoping that Captain Scarlet will answer the ad.
Just me? Ok.
*resumes rocking to and fro, humming themes from Gerry Anderson tv shows*
I’m thinking some kind of Hollywood premiere. Was Sparky inspired by last weekend’s Oscars?
This morning, leaping out of the box, I present Mudslicker and LimeLolly. Ladies, hope your time was well spent. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Detective Columbo!
I’m confused on this illuminated chair. The ad states:
“Very confortable chair with a side lever for a foot rest”
Is the lever itself a footrest? Do you sit with your legs swept back to rest your feet on the lever? Is that also a mechanism to rest your feet in front of the chair in the 4th picture or a separate item for sale? If it accompanies the chair, why would you need the lever for a footrest? I would venture a guess that the chair accouterment in front would be more advantageous to rest thy weary feet than contorting like some Merlin to rest them on a simple lever BEHIND thyself!
Dang, I wish the seller would have used thou electric torch to shed some light on it!