YSaC, Vol. 1439: What could be doozier than that?
2013 January 31
bronies looking to bang twlight sparkle – 30
Two tops looking to bang the hell out of a botton wearing the twlight spakle outfit. We are both fit and hung. Reply with pics and we sent ours.
This was posted in the men seeking men category, of course. Because where else would one post that one is looking to have sex with someone dressed up in oversized fleece footie pajamas with applique stars and a sad hoodie with fake dreads for a pony mane and the remnants of Madonna’s Gaultier cone bra strapped on like a child’s party hat?
Or, as Dan and I like to call it, Wednesday.
Thanks, Jessica!
ಠ▃ಠ
The spelling and the punctuation are awful (botton is a bottom who keeps his shirt buttoned, right? Twilight Spakle loves caulk) but I really cannot make fun of the kink. While I am not a plushie, a furry, or really into anything like that at all; I do not see anything wrong with those who choose to add such embellishments or indulge in such with consenting adults. And considering I have a thing for a fictional angel, a fictional hunter, and a fictional Norse god; who am I to judge?
I find it disturbing that the photo appears to be a little girl.
EDIT: And after some time with Uncle Google, it looks like Sparky lifted the photo from a woman’s blog post about the Halloween costume she made for her daughter.
http://mybeaubaby.blogspot.com/2012/10/twilight-sparkle-costume.html
That makes it SO much more disturbing!
Not only is that a disturbing image, it also means that the bangers don’t have said costume; the bangee is expected to provide his own. Some people just have to have everything done for them.
I looked for a source via TinEye, but it couldn’t find one. Excellent Google-foo!
Presumably, your fantasy crushes are hot men (love to know who you’re talking about), and that’s how you’d like to do them.
These guys want to have anal sex with another man who is cosplaying as a female character in a cartoon based on toys for little girls.
It is perfectly understandable that most people, upon reading that last second, are going to go, “WTF?” This is not being judgemental or intolerant. This is a normal reaction.
I think the Norse god would be either Thor or Loki.
I vote Loki…
I don’t think Thor’s kinky enough.
It’s a tough call. On one hand you’ve got a guy with those horn-things on his helmet who has a thing for flowing capes, but on the other you’ve got a guy who is very into armor and tight pants.
:looks at both hands:
I’ll be in my bunk.
The Norse god would be Thor and don’t worry, I”m kinky enough for both of us.
My vote’s for the god who even the mythology encyclopedia says is a spectacular lay. Just try not to think of the horse thing.
Whatever you do, don’t get any of that twilight spakle on you! It just never comes off, leaves a stain, and sometimes causes a rash.
My twilight has needed spackling ever since that incident with the two tops and the free couch for pleasure. Um, or at least it would, assuming hypothetically that any such thing had ever happened.
Wait, was the couch given freely in exchange for pleasure which means it wasn’t actually free; or was the couch available to give pleasure and if so, its pleasure, someone else’s pleasure, or both; or was the couch simply a available space in which to receive pleasure? If it had, hypothetically speaking, ever happened and I am sure it didn’t.
This probably deserves a “possibly awesome” tag in deference to those for whom this is their bag.
As for myself, I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.
Given how many men self-identify as bronies on the Internet, I’m surprised there isn’t a website out there specifically for arranging these sort of encounters. (Well, there probably is but I have no desire to google it.)
Ghostie, not all men who identify as Bronies are into it sexually. Judging by the Bronies I know, it’s really a small minority who also have this kink. Also, I Googled and I found some fansites, but no real hookup sites.
EDIT- Please, if I die under mysterious circumstances, delete my browser and search history.
See, I would have thought the exact opposite. If I had a very specific fetish and it was difficult to find someone locally to undulge in it with, I’d be more likely to turn to an Internet community of people with similar desires since I’d have a much wider pool from which to draw a partner from. I wonder if there are sections on furry hookup sites for the special Bronies.
As always, I should stress that we are not making fun of their kink. We are making fun of the way they have gone about attempting to realize that kink, the poor execution of said method, and their unlikelihood of success using this approach.
What the ostrich/emu thing said.
Okay, then I’ll make fun of their kink….and refer them to a really good urologist, because a kink-ed….
What?
Even though I know what they mean by “top” and “bottom”, I’m still imagining a pantomime horse having sex with itself.
I guess it’s time to drink until I can’t see that in my head anymore.
Pass me that flask, will ya?
anagram fun?
bronies looking to bang
nookie bolt snag…
Haiku?
a twilight sparkle
outfit for bro…
There once was a bronie from Skokie
Who wanted to…
Aaaaarrrgggh.
Keep the flask movin’ please.
Is this from the episode where an evil curse turned Twilight Sparkle horribly ugly, and her friends Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and Apple Jack all had to find a cure, and the cure turned out to be the power of friendship? Because I totally don’t watch the show on The Hub where it’s on every Saturday, 7:30 Pacific, 10:30 Eastern.
The cure is always friendship.
Or a party.
The Cure is the prototypical emo band.
TC, I’m concluding that you know way too much about these characters.
My favorite is Pinkie Pie. She kicks ass.
Or, um, like I said, I don’t watch the show. But if I DID, my favorite would be Pinkie Pie, because I would think she kicks ass.
Also Derpy Eyes FTW.
Hypothetically speaking, Twilight Sparkle would have been my favorite but I might have to revise my opinion. If I had one. And no way is Derpy better than Doctor Whooves.
I thought they wanted to ‘bang the hell’ out of brownies.
I was picturing chocolate being beaten with drum sticks. I am stubbornly going to stick to that mental image too.
I wish I had read this before Digi’s comment, because I’d rather have brownies in my head.
Now I kinda want a brownie. Mocha fudge with pecans and chocolate chips.
I wish my head was not all scrambled up, so that I could not form a coherent mental image coming from the juxtaposition of Teutonic/Germanic sylph (a mix of pixie, elf, and faerie); delectable baked dessert goods; and the cub-scout like version of Girl Guides–all of which being Brownies of one sort or another.
All of which I’m blaming on the sleep deprivation.
All of which, repeat
All of which, repeat, bores me
Refrigerator
Hey, my sister was a brownie. but that isn’t her in the picyure.
I’m with you, LL. I originally read brownies and was trying like heck to identify the ingredient listed as “twilight sparkle.” Then, big light bulb went off. Fortunately, it crashed down from on top of my head and knocked me out. After I came to, I was hungry for a brownie. With a spiked latte. And no memories of reading YSaC today.
Isn’t the weather beautiful outside?
It looks like Eeyore and My Little Pony had a baby. That would go along with the being hung statement.
Disregard above comment. Had no idea what a bronie was when I posted it. Hanging out here has broadened my knowledge. I don’t know if that is good or bad.
I’m still trying to calm myself down from panicked breathing when I thought for a second that today was really only Wednesday.
Now what about My Little Pony?
So many questions.
Why do gay dudes want to have sex with another gay dude dressed as a female character? Isn’t there dude My Little Ponies? How do more Little Ponies get made if there are no dude Little Ponies? Or is this another Smurf situation?
Why did they use a picture of a child? I really hope they just didn’t realize it was a child at the time of posting. That’s the only reason my brain can handle right now.
Why did they make it sound like the picture was of them when it was indeed ripped off of the interwebs? Are they shy? They posted an ad like that and they’re shy?
No spellchecker in BronieLand? I have a friend who’s a Bronie (only in the fan of the show sense) and he can spell perfectly fine so I know that’s not true.
The mind has been thoroughly boggled for the day.
I am obviously too old or too whatever. I just don’t understand 🙁
You probably don’t want to. I would rather that I didn’t know what it meant. Now after eight years, when my hubby incredulously goes “you don’t know what _____ means?!” I know to get my hands over my ears as fast as possible and start yelling “lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala”.*
*He just then waits until I’ve forgotten about it and blurts it out. Really the only thing that accomplishes is putting it off a little while longer.
Tits aside, anyone who replies to this ad is an asshole.
That’s pretty much spot-on what they’re looking for.
But, yanno, bedazzled.
bedazzled what?
A bedazzled yanno, of course.
Ralph, no! The visual, it’s not right!
The picture is really, really disturbing. While I don’t even have a problem with consenting _adults_ doing age play, using a picture of an actual little girl in the context of this ad is batshit scary.
* While I believe you that you aren’t making fun of their kink, rather how they are going about it, was “..men seeking men category, of course” really necessary?
Uh yes… otherwise, we would have snarked about this ad being posted in the housewares section of Craiglist.
Good and bad things about this ad:
Posted in correct section of CL – good
Spelling – bad
Coherence and brevity of ad – sort of good
Accompanying picture – really bad
Overall, I give this ad a 2.4 out of 5. It isn’t crazy enough to justify full-on Sparkydom, but it also doesn’t reach any level of syzygy between logic and embarrassment.
ahh.. I forgot the personals outside of Casual Encounters were organized that way (which is really where they should have posted). No homophobia taken 🙂
Every time I see the words Casual Encounters… I hear the song riff of ‘In Living Color’s’ sketch : Lowered Expectations.
And then I read this blog… and I realize… I should drink more.
Knowing nothing about My Little Pony, I did not know that Twilight Sparkle was a character therein. Thus, I went immediately to Twilight, the series of books about teenaged emo vampires who cannot go in the sun not due to risk of instant catastrophic combustion, as is right and proper, but because they *Gak* sparkle. And I was fine with the Sparky bronies banging the hell out of those idiots.
My initial reaction was to go that direction as well. So glad we were spared a whole lot of wasted of time. *snort*
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my squirrel costume.
Glamour pics again?
Hoof arted.
CJ, great snark! Dave, Ferrets, Separate but Equal great snark! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Hangers-on!
I thought this was bad, until I looked at Regretsy and saw someone was selling something they called “My Little Yoni”. Take a wild guess.
WHY IS THIS A THING?