YSaC, Vol. 1438: Splitter!
2013 January 30
I need a new hobby. Anyone have anything I could do for fun?
free couch
Free couch for pleasure.
Oh. Well OK, then – I’m off to join the Couch Liberation Front! It’s like the People’s Front for the Liberation of Couches, but with a better handshake.
If I’m listed on Craigslist,
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now,
‘Cause there’s too many pleasures I’ve got to see.
But, if I stayed in this front room,
The decor won’t be the same.
‘Cause I’m as free as a couch now,
And this couch you can not change.
Oh… oh… oh… oh… oh…
And the couch you cannot change.
And this couch you cannot change.
Lord knows I can’t change.
If you can’t change, then what’s hiding in your cushions?
But why do you want to be called Loretta, Stan?
All I ask is that you do not free the last two couches. They freaked the hell out of us.
Free misjay!
Free misjay for lacawates valtra-suka!
Join the ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER! League today!
Glad to know the couch was used for pleasure and not torture. Then again, I don’t think I’d like to have a couch that’s full of someone else’s…pleasure. Even if it’s free.
What, no picture? I wanted to look for a hidden froggy face.
Double your pleasure!
Double your fun!
Free a couch
Get off your bum
If I’m not using the couch for pleasure, is it still free? What if I want to use the couch for collapsing upon, hand to my forehead in dramatic fashion, all while expressing my limitless ennui sparked by a frigid Canadian winter? Will Sparky then demand payment?
Now, see, that’s exactly how couches get indentured.
Belles are to swoon upon divan, or davenports–should one find themselves unfashionably north of civilized climes.
So, it’s all “Hey, we can shift that couch…” “No, we can’t; that’s where Aunt Imogen-Lavinia swooned after the You-Know-What and the family is just not over that yet–so, it has to stay.” “What about the snake …” “SWOONED” “Oh . . . ”
free couchie coo
———————————-
Free couchie for pleasure.
FIFY
Tits aside, does it come with a coffee table? If not, then what DOES it like?
A coffee table?
You’ll be needing this roll of plastic sheeting and this case of wesson oil, then …
[Notices cocoa ottomen and edges away slowly…]
I am cracking up over picturing someone spot an ottoman and back away in fear.
I’d rather free love, tits aside. I hear there are throw pillows to help with that.
If you can’t be with the couch you want; sofa the one you’re with . . .
What was couch arrested for? The Group W Bench wants to know.
Couch was framed!
If the slip cover fits, you must acquit!
The couch may be free, but there’s an extra charge for the snakes.
Can you throw in a few dead auntie juice stains?
The snakes have been eradicated by, you know… ninjas.
If this ad was posted by Monday’s Sparky, he could be offering to coach me in the art of pleasure. For free! Mr. Tank wants more information.
Be sure to ask for references and then share them with the rest of the class!
I second the motion to ask for references so you don’t end up with this dou-I mean fine young entrepreneur: http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=8575
And then, show us on the couch where he touched you.
Will Mr Tank then prefer the couch be a female Swedish blonde au-moire?
I tried to post a comment twice but it just reloaded the page and didn’t show up each time, so if later there’s two, that’s why. I waited a minute in between to see if the interwebs was just being special but nothing happened.
Sparky’s plan to barter for sexual favors lasted only until the furniture in his mom’s basement ran out.
We should be united against our common enemy!
The Couches’ freedom front?!
No! The ottomans!
Oh… right.
Well, if you’re going to have a grudge match against those guys, you’d better bring your own referee. I don’t trust the ottoman umpire.
I’m hearing this in the tune of “hell bent for leather”
“Free couch! free couch for pleasure!”
Aphid, I’m glad I didn’t need to put you in the box with our resident gecko, LimeLolly. Aphid? You in there, Aphid? Ah, well. Punchity Punch Punch.
Good Morning, Liberty Terrians!
I’m still lurking around somewhere.