YSaC, Vol. 1433: Facticity and authenticity.
2008 Green Accent
Hello, This is kind of a long shot but I am looking for my 2008 Accent. It has been reported missing with the police. I misparked it about a month ago and the car still is not found….. Not sure if it is still sitting in an APARTMENT parking spot or if it has been stolen.
It is green, has a SUBLIME sticker on the back, windows are tinted, if the car hasn’t been broken into there are tassles on the mirror, and also zebra seat covers. If you have seen this car in your neighborhood or a friends neighborhood please contact me.
Also, Its parked in the back of a neighborhood, next to a gate and a garage i think. (That is all the info I can remember so please don’t text me asking for cross streets because I DONT KNOW) I am just looking for somebody who has seen it in the neighborhood not somebody who wants to look for it.
$200 dollar reward if you have it sitting in your complex. I HAVE THE LICENCE PLATE # so you can see if its the same car, also, i have proper ID, title, and key to prove it is my car upon arrival.
Thanks for any info.
text or call xxxxxxxxxx or email back.
This starts off as a heartwarming story about a guy looking for his missing hipster-green car. But as you keep reading, there are a couple of things to consider:
1. This is in a very large metropolitan area characterized by urban/suburban sprawl. It’s not like this is in a small town with a population of 2,000 people, where Mr. Jenkins will know by Thursday if you bought Metamucil on Monday.
2. Sublime. Graduation tassles. Zebra seat covers. We’re dealing with a bro here, folks.
3. He misparked the car. In other words, he parked somewhere and then got so drunk that he couldn’t remember where he left his bromobile. (At least I hope it was in that order.)
And he still can’t remember, even a month later. He remembers a gate and a garage, and that’s it. At some point he had to wonder to himself, “What bar was I at?” or “Who was I with?” or “Why did I wake up wearing a sombrero and a wetsuit?”. But there are apparently no answers to those questions, so he’s left with, “Which gate and garage did I park by?” And there are no answers to that question, either. Existentialism is SUCH a drag.
Thanks, a storm in the form of a girl!
So did he black out for the whole month that it’s been missing?
Ooh, I’ve seen this movie!
The butler did it.
It was Rev. Green in the garage with a zebra-patterned belt.
The meter-maid with the boot in the place by the gate, near the garage, in that neighborhood
They’re after me lucky charms!
Sure an’ arn’ta the bonnie wee puppy!
Dear Bro-Sparky,
I have your Accent.
If you ever want to see those zebra seat covers again, place one bajillion dollars – and the new T-Boz CD – in the trash can outside that bar I saw you stumble out of on the night in question.
You have 48 hours.
Sincerely,
heh..heh…you didn’t think I’d sign a ransom note did you?
Dude! Bro, I totally got your accent. F*ck yeah! Oh, you meant your CAR? Oh snap!
…and you will say to yourself “This is not my beautiful car”. And you will ask yourself “Oh my God, what have I done?”
The lonely little tassels seem somehow sad today
The glory that was Sublime is of another day
Its been terribly alone and forgotten in Manhattan?
Its going home to my city by the err?
I left my car in San FrickifIknow
High on a hill? it calls to me
To be where little misparked cars hide in apartment lots
The morning grog may fill cup, so I don’t care
My Accent waits there in San FrickifIknow
By a gate and garage you see
When it comes home to me from San FrickifIknow
Its green paint will shine for me
Music Day at YSaC!
Green, green, my Accent’s green!
Parked it somewhere, it’s long been unseen.
Blue, blue, I think the house
Where I threw up was for a blue mouse.
Where’s it parked? Does the battery work?
Post on CL, cause I’m such a dork.
Bacontini take quite de offense when you say he has de “Green Accent” as you call it. De ladies never complained about how Bacontini be talking to dem, even when he be getting de peppery spray on his bacon.
Some ladies like to spice things up.
What the hell is “misparking”? Does it involve a misjay? I am familiar with “forgetting exactly where in the parking lot I parked my car,” but this sounds like a whole other dimension of forgetfulness.
While we’re asking questions, what exactly is the back of a neighborhood? Maybe it’s just because I’m a city girl, but our neighborhoods here don’t have fronts or backs.
Those are my thoughts. I’ve never had such a bad day that I can’t remember what part of a town I left my car. If I go out drinking, my designated driver picked me up. For the most part, this person has been my hubby so he of course brings me to the place of debauchery and back home again. He threatens to leave me some random place for his own amusement but he values his body parts in their current conditions.
[corey] A neighborhood has a front and a back when it’s a “subdivision” with one entrance street. Basically like a giant cul-de-sac that encompasses multiple blocks. The “front” would be close to the ingress/egress street, and the “back”… well, you know…[/corey]
My favorite was:
Because, dog knows, if it has been broken into, those zebra seat covers would be the first things to be taken… And those TASSLES!
I snorted at that, too. Of course they’ll be gone cuz everyone’s clamoring for zebra-striped seat covers and tassles from YOUR specific educational institute!
You never know. My vehicle was broken into and they took the ashtray.
My vehicle was broken into, and they took the owner’s manual.
My vehicle was broken into, and they stole its new-car smell.
Misparking is when you’re trying to reverse, or make a right turn, or change the radio station, but you accidentally put it in park. At that point you really have no choice but to let nature take its course.
Miss Parks sat in the front of the bus.
Dude, Where’s my car?
Dude, look at your photo. Your car is at Bill Knight’s. You went there to take a picture of it so you could post it missing on craigslist. Just go back to where you took the picture. Duh!
From the sublime to the ridiculous to the ridiculously sublime to the sublimely ridiculous.
An accent causing an accident
is something that I’ve never seen.
But an accident causing an accent.
Well, that would make me turn green.
Now, an accent causing an accent
I think that you got me lost.
But an accident causing an accident?
I believe now that you must be sauced.
(The original poem had to do with antelopes and cantelopes.)
…and nobody took me to task for misspelling cantaloupe?
Alas, poor Isaac! You never knew him, One, but he would have jumped right in! Also AR and ghostie minus the glue sniffing. Many more, too many to list.
2008 accent
I got my new accent in 2008. I lost it about a month ago. It’s a vietnamese/kentucky hybrid. If you hear my accent, please contact me.
King Arthur: What do you mean? North or South Vietnamese?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I… I don’t know that…Auuuuuuuugh!
Well, what does the sublime sticker say?
SUBLIME = not quite lime.
So the sticker says it’s green but not quite lime green
Hmm, dies that then suggest that our LL is “superlime” (and more of a gecko, rather than mint, green)?
She is SuperGecko.
Would explain the cape, then . . .
“Dude!” What does mine say?
“Sweet!” What about mine?
You put “Sublime” on your mint-green car. You lose it by the gate.
Welllll, seeing how poorly Sparky treats the cute little thing I think it’s hiding.
Axe-scent? Now, [pushes hat back on head a bit] we ‘roun’ thes har parz doan much cott’n t’ na axe-scents. Ates baid ’nuff ‘roun’t malls wid all’em tween’rs ais is, y’hear?
Nahw whachu need do ais ta git y’rself dahn’t corner, take a laif, go ah block, ‘n’ tha’ll git’ya t’Broadway. Hang a leff, an’ go fi’ dars dahn an’ go on in. Git Lee-Roy t’gitcher a haircut–y’r a mess, bhoy–‘sides, hee’s new ‘rount’ ‘is plaice, eed know ’bout ask-scents an’ the like. Wid ‘at boi’a’his–he ain’t right–why thaid cott’n t’whay a chicos barrachos git up’ter a’ night, whain ‘onsst fohlk is home wachin teevee lak narml foks daugh. ‘Staid’a puttin na soob-lyme stickas on’t’cars , an’ thain loss’en’em inna back’a ney-borr-huds an’ all.
Na, git! Ah gotz whak t’doo!
Finally! The Cap’n speaks Texan and I understood Every.Single.Word.
*does happy dance*
Did your brain get all tingly, too?
Please get your accent out of my truck grill.
One of his dumbass friends probably took the car as a joke and is letting it go REALLY far. He might want to confront the friend that suddenly won’t let him in his garage. I would say that this individual might want to invest in new friends if that were the case, but he doesn’t sound deserving of better friends. The ones he has are just right.
G & H, Pure Snark Humor! From YSaC, Growing lots of fun! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Frat Boys!
Misparking is nothing to laugh about. I knew someone once who misparked their car in downtown Jacksonville during the Christmas holidays. They remembered the first party, the second party but not the rest of the night. There were only so many parking lots downtown but in a month they never located their car. The police finally contacted them–the car was in a small underground lot not open to the public. The zebra seat covers were still in the car.