YSaC, Vol. 1423: Moving Pict-ures.
2013 January 9
87 chev 1 ton dully – $1200
runs and drives but lost the brakes BODY OIS IN GOOD SHAPE ! MAKE AN OFFER WORST I CAN SAY IS NO
must be picked up by a tow truck ! ! ! or I won’t let it go ! ! ! !
OR I WILL SCRAP IT AND SELL THE FLAT BED ! AND NEAR NEW TIRES !
looking for a autocrane 3200 – – 3800 lb lift or skidsteer stuff rock bucket ,auger drive,ect,ect,
please call ### ### #### ERIC
NO PICTS AT THIS TIME !
TO TEXTING ! ! ! ! I WON’T ANCER !
That’s right! Absolutely no goddamn Picts will be buying this truck as long as I have anything to say about it. Gaels, Gauls, heck even Britons, for cryin’ out loud, but NO PICTS! I can’t stand their ornately carved stones and their godawful penannular broaches.
Now. Join me in a toast. To Texting! Huzzah!
(Thanks for the post, JGW!)
Prithee, good sir, wouldst thou trade this noble Dodge Charger for thine Body in Goode Shape? ‘Tis a fine ride, and wouldst give thee a lift. Art thou related to Eric the Red? Leif the Pink? William the Undecided?
Joey the Tuna?
Mac the Knife?
Jude the Obscure? Jabba the Hut? Bozo the Clown?
Smokey the Bear? Dennis the Menace? Tony the Not-a-Lion?
Winnie the Pooh?
Whack the Mole?
Vlad the Impaler?
Kermit The Frog?
All of the above?
Yahtzee!
Wait, what were we playing again?
Name That Goon?
Runs good, stops poorly.
Actually, it stops on a dime. Unfortunately not on a nickel, quarter, asphalt, concrete, gravel or dirt.
“Fortunately, it stopped on a dime. Unfortunately, the dime was in Mr. Rococo’s pocket.”
Honestly, though, if the brakes are the only thing wrong (which I doubt), this could be a win for someone whose hobby is automotive repair.
Sparky still fails at punctuation and spelling, though.
Sparky never says the brakes don’t work, just that he “lost” them. It’s possible he’s “lost” other bits as well, like the axles or the doors.
I guess that’s the price you pay to play Automotive Poker.
Why does Poorly need to be stopped? Is he a Pict?
Between your price and the cost of having it towed from [location] to Texting, I’m not sure this is such a good deal. We in the Pict-American community tend to be rather thrifty.
“Buy my broken truck or I’ll sell it for scrap! I also do trades.”
Let’s see what we have around the Lounge this morning …
:rummages around in closet:
There’s a dusty nacho-cheese fountain, two couches with stains of questionable origins, some lovely Not. A. Lion. portraits, and a quart of flammable pudding. Ooh, and some gummy bears!
Maybe he’d be willing to trade for some human Kopi Luwak.
That sounds like a fair trade. Pile of overpriced sh@t for pile of overpriced sh@t.
[edit]squinting, the @ sign looks like an a. That turns it from an edited term to the past-tense verb form of said term.[edit]
NO GUMMY BEARS ARE LEAVING THIS LOUNGE! *snatches gummy bears, huddles in corner with them, growls*
I am trying to picture a pink-winged tank huddling in a corner hoarding gummy bears and growling at anyone he gets too close.
How does a tank huddle?
Threaten my gummy bears and find out.
There’s anime of huddling tanks. Rule 34 means that there’s likely hentai of it, too.
Kazi, Tankerbell is of the female pursuasion.
Tankerbell, those gummy bears were in the couches. You might not want them, really.
I don’t think the snake will mind, it is beyond such concerns now.
That should read anyone *who* gets too close.
I am familiar with Tankerbell’s persuasion, thanks Windrose.
And Tankerbell, don’t worry You can have all the gummy bears just leave any pickled herring for me.
Oooh, can I cut down a mighty tree with it?
Ni! Ni! Ni-woo-petang!petang!
Actually, we might have some items to catch Sprka’s interest:
Minty shell, Winter bagel; beehive truck; and several boats.
So the only reason it needs to be towed is because there are no brakes? Easy fix, I’ll just knock a hole in the driver’s side floor and brake with my feet, Fred Flintstone style.
It’s not like you wouldn’t stop eventually. There are conveniently located telephone poles, trees, and other cars all over the place.
That might be too disruptive to other cars on the road. Just deploy a drag chute when you need to slow down. Or use Newton’s Laws to your advantage and rig the front bumper to shoot off the front.
If it doesn’t have a front bumper, you could just strap a couple of machine guns to the hood and fire like crazy when you get to intersections.
Dear Mssrs. Hyneman and Savage,
Please take note of the post above.
-IF
*evil grin*
Hee hee hee.
Digi, I don’t follow you. Or better yet, you don’t follow me. EVER!
You should never sell a flat bed near new tires. They’re such narcs.
Yeah, looking SHARP there, Sparky.
“I WON’T ANCER!”
I think Ancer was a substitute. Just in case one of the other reindeer got sick.
I won’t ancer, don’t text me
I won’t ancer, don’t text me
I won’t ancer, ect ect, to you
My brakes got lost and won’t do things that they should do
“I won’t ancer, ect ect, to you”
Momma Windy! Triple D just hork up a feather ball!
That was Sparky’s loogie, I merely recycled it (and passed the savings on to you!)
See, I thought Sparky was impersonating Bill The Cat.
Settle down, kids! Plenty of feathers for everyone. *molt* *molt*
*raises glass* To texting!
*raises glasses* Where’d everybody go?
*looks up* Oh, sorry, I had to reply to this text.
*raises glass* L’chaim!
A body might think that an Ankor/ancer might be handy for a brake-less vehicle . . .
But, I may have too much experience with ground tackle–and ottomans.
Eric Sparkenmoore failed Craigslist 101 right from the get-go. It is a well-known fact that any item posted for sale on C/L has a better chance if it is shiny. “Dully” never sold a thing.
Shiny sh@t = More dollars
(Go Yancy!)
The [corey] is that Sparq’ meant “dualie” meaning having dual rear wheels on either end of the same axle.
The term-of-art is pronounced “Duuhl LEE” or “DOO lee” (sometimes “D`’LHEE”).
Sadly, the accepted form of spelling is now “dually” which much offends my eye and irritates my mind.
Using the paired wheels doubles the road contact area, which increases the load carrying ability of the vehicle. The fenders required for this sort of installation are very much enamored of pipe bollards in drive-through (and “drive thru” <grrr>) facilities. This desire always ending poorly for the fenders in question. The fasteners fixing the wheel assemblies to the axle–by way of the brakes–often suffer mightily from the torque induced by normal driving.
There’s more [corey] possible on how the brakes frequently suffer on these vehicles, but, I’ll not bore you any more with mechanical trivia.
[\corey]
“skidsteer stuff”
Yep, I skidded in some steer stuff once. Luckily there was a boot brush on the front porche.
[corey]”Skid steer” is a term for small construction vehicles with tires, that are are not pivoted. But, are instead steered by slowing, stopping, or reversing the tires on one side or the other of the vehicle.
The other term-of-art for such vehicles coming from the “Bobcat” line of vehicles by Melrose, Inc.
These vehicles have a number of accessories which can be used in place of the standard loading bucket. Some of these accessories are as expensive as the initial vehicle.
[/corey]
True story. So I’m sitting at my desk thinking “what’s a skidsteer?” (And who doesn’t wonder that at least once a workday) when I thought, “Cap’n Mac will know. He knows everything.” And viola! (Or obo, I get those confused.) He does know, and he tells us.
I bet the good Cap’n would kick serious ass on Jeopardy.
This idea has been advanced before; sometimes without bothering to involve me.
Turns out the people at Jeopardy prefer contestants who are less encyclopedic, the better to have the audience at home yell at them for not knowing one or another random fact. Which is why they tend to exclude naval officers (even aviators) as they tend to have all sorts of generalized knowledge. (And are often cooped up with English/Lit; or History degreed types for long periods.)
He would, Ghostie, but Trebek would have no idea what the hell Cap’n was talking about.
I’ve actually operated a Bobcat (skidsteer, not wild puddy tat).
Sorry, I had my heart set on a Red Barchetta.
Ooh, I love barchetta. All those little pieces of toast topped with tasty stuff.
Bromance of the day for the Red Barchetta reference!
You’d need an uncle with a remote farm where you could hide it, IF.
remote farm
“…And provided the rain is good ‘n the cows don’t eat ’em, these’ll grow in’ter controllers for them 2014-model Sony TVs.”
Seriously? I would have thought a passive-aggressive Pictophobe such as yourself would know at least a few worse words than “no”.
I think we’ve found our poster.
:raises hand:
Ooh, I know some!
The problem with Picts is that they come with small furry animals. I have a 1986 F250 yard plow truck with the tail light wiring chewed up. So far, the brakes work, and I can always drop the plow, but it’s also good for ramming any Picts in the neighborhood, which is mostly Anglo-Saxon, except for the Vandals that keep tossing beer cans out the windows. I could write a Gothic novel about it.
Uhmm… I really didn’t need to know what Picts do with small furry animals, even if no instruments were used.
Ect, ect.
What happens in Saxon caves, stays in Saxon caves.
What you really don’t want to know is the things Vikings did with Lemmings. No, really, I learned it in the Society for Creative Anachronism, so it must be true. You might ask, how do you keep a lemming from exploding during, well, you know. The answer is duct tape. How do you know when your lemming loves you? She brigns you the duct tape.
Ect, Ect!
And here I thought we were talking about Eric the Red’s lemming meringue pie recipe.
“must be picked up by a tow truck ! ! ! or I won’t let it go ! ! ! !”
That’s what she said…
Tow trucks – the gigolo of vehicles?
Only for cash, no credit. And, often in very disreputable parts of town <leerleer>
“worst i can say is no”
Well, no sir, that just isn’t true. I consider ois, dully, Ancer & ect, ect all words that are much, much worse than no. Mainly because I don’t know what they mean & they make me feel the same way I do when my Korean nail lady is obviously talking about my crappy nails in Korean- but when asked assures me she was talking about lunch. Only here, I’m being led to believe here that ois is a truck term lady folk just don’t know.
Translation for the non-Sparkified
OIS – Office of International Services or Objective Interface Systems (a leader in real-time, embedded, and high-performance communications software)
Dully – opposite of shiny or a municipality in the district of Nyon in the canton of Vaud in Switzerland.
Ancer – ALL NATIONS CHILDREN’ EMERGENCY RELIEF is a non-profit organization aimed to aide the underprivileged people of south east Asia
Ect, ect – A sound of Bill the Cat makes or Electroconvulsive therapy formerly known as electroshock (that explains so much)
Hope that helps clear things up
To further the above:
Ois (alt Oys) a (London) East End word of exclamation in plural form.
Dulally–the thinga-ma-bob that holds the dime what the brakes stop on, iffin theys not broke (please hire the Brakes, and soon)
Ankor–a city in Turkey.
Ankor Wot–East End interrogative for those using badly-penned Magyar-English phrasebooks.
“Ect, Ect” The choking sound made by a Cockney ostler when asked about his hovercraft.
Now, please feel free to return to one’s traipsing about all things Walpolian, with or without Terpsichorean Muse. Here’s a Watney’s Red Barrel, and a bucket of scimitars.
Bucket of Scimitars is IF’s Akher Zapheer cover band.
Ummm…I beg to differ.
YES!
Worst for sure sauce.
Edit: Momma Windy! Hammy cut in front of me!
I’m just a tattle tale today.
That puppy wags a very emphatic yes.
Why is it that whenever the puppy comments, I think of Lola and her ever-cautious admonition not to rub the puppy’s tummy? I haven’t seen her commenting for awhile. Hope all is well with her in the big city.
Lola is taking a well-deserved break from all things socially on-line. Not even doing Facebook right now. I was afraid she stopped coming in here because the lines were blurred between folks’ real names and their YSaC handles. It gets confusing.
Dully?
No thanks; I only buy minty.
Speaking of unwieldy vehicles:
If called by a Panzer
Don’t ancer.
Ralph, Penguin, for your above standard snark in the middle of the week, I thank you from the bottom of my Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Eric the half-a-bee!