YSaC, Vol. 1422: I’m begging you please. Whoever you are.
2013 January 8
Name Plaque-Ceculia
I made this name plaque for my grnadaughter but it was too big for her room. It is 18 long x 5.5 wide.
Anyone know a Cecelia that would like a free name plaque?
Located in #######. Email if interested-if you do not hear from me it is gone.
Greg sends this one, and points out that the picture really offers no sense of scale, so given that grnadma or grnadpa here hasn’t provided any units, we don’t actually KNOW that it’s not 18 furlongs on a side. That would certainly explain why it’s too big for her room.
Of course, we also have no CLUE what grnadaughter’s name is. Ceculia? Cecelia? Cecilia? Cedilla? Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent? Steve? Really, it could be anything.
Thanks for the mystery, Greg!
Damn you, (lack of) autocorrect!
Celia, you’re forsaking my art
You’re shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Cecilia, I’m posting this plaque
‘Cause you don’t want it back
In your home.
I would have been more interested if they had made ones for their granddaughters Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme. But that would have taken some explaining to Mrs. Robinson about Julio down by the schoolyard. That’s a bridge over troubled waters that I’d rather not have to cross over again.
I’ll be slip slidin’ my way over to the corner for some coffee slices now.
PENGUIN!!! Where you been? Here, sit by this new coffee table we picked up.
I’ll just be over there in the corner counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike.
Oh
CeculaCeceleaCicillia{insert name here} you’re breaking myharthorthohrt{insert anatomically correct part here}.Good morning corner!
Why, oh why, did I automatically think big donkey balls?!?!?!?
Oh, hello, corner people. Glad there’s a crowd today. 🙂
Chickens have balls. A ghost told me. Yet the girl eats the middle out!
Nobody wanted to take on the task of explaining to poor Grnadpa that, since the surgery, his little princess now goes by Cecil.
I hypothesize that our dear TypoMagic will one day in the distant future manage to construct a time machine and send himself back to whenever this was posted and then decided to give us a sign. One that says Cecilia on it, apparently.
Hmm, what if it’s a TypoM grandchild grown up to be a grnadparont and wandering about in the timey-wimey doohicky they will not have yet already invented.
Do,da,do,da-do,du . . . {earworm!}
Kodachrome!
Cecily opened the present and noticed that after all that time, Grandpa still couldn’t get her name right. That shade of cat-vomit green didn’t help.
“Thank you, Grandpa.”
“Do you like it, Serena?”
“Oh, yes, it’s lovely. But, you see, it’s … um ….”
“It’s what?”
“Um … too big for my room. Yeah, that’s it.”
So Sparky could not spell his own grand, I’m sorry, grnadaughter’s name correctly despite having a 18 (inch? meter? spoon?) sign to look at? Has Sparky been huffing the wood glue again?
You know what they say, if you can’t spell the name of your grandchildren correctly, you shouldn’t have grandchildren.
I’ll just be over there taking my datsun for a walk.
How can you get plaque correct and her name wrong? *headdesk smack*
We could have had a plague of Cecilias!
Smilla Persephone wonders this to this very day, like as not . . .
kelli, spoon as a unit? Do you know that spooning leads to forking?
See.silly.you.
Or in that Ultimate Waco fear–sporking!
OMV, if you are not already in the corner, please join us.
Archie – wait – you mean people can move away from the corners ? How long have I been in cornertude?
Well, it’s possible but not very probable. These are YSaCers you’re talking about.
Aww!
*fails to cast eyes at floor*
Bummer, my fishing license is expired.
In other news, I’m finally going to my appointment today. The one I was at when I faceplanted last year.
I’ll leave my corner and join you in yours.
Bummer. You try to do something nice and order a name plate for your granddaughter, Ceculia, and this is what you end up with.
Perhaps the grnadporret is named “Sioux”?
I read that as “gonadparrot” the first time so I’ll just go over to the corner now.
A friend of mine had one of those. The bird was quite enamored of her shoulder, and would bring her bright shiny objects in return for his little trysts.
That bird was nuts!
Darn, everyone already got all the good snark, I’ll Seecilia later!
Perhaps “Cecilia” is an adolescent who changed her name in rebellion against her bourgeoisie parents, but knowing that grnadpa is good for cash on her birthday, she hasn’t informed him or her. Or perhaps I’m just cynical. Just call me Cynical Cecilia. Or Ceculia. Or…
Let’s assume for a moment this sign is 18 inches by 5.5 inches. How small is poor Ceculia’s room if that’s too big? I’m thinking the problems postulated by my learned colleagues may pale in comparison to the possibility that grnadpa’s little treasure is sleeping in the aquarium vacated by that snake nobody ever found. Harry Potter is in his cupboard under the stairs going “yeeeeeeah booooooooyyeee!”
TB – I blame Lewis Carroll for this conundrum.
I believe in the 18″ x 5.5″ measurement for the plaque.
The plaque, however was mounted on a 4′ x 12′ cork board sheet.
I propose the conversation went somethin’ like this:
Grnad1: Hon?
Grnad2: Yesdear.
1: Where’s our cork board cutter?
2: Sold it on Ebay las’ week, never used’t anyway.
1: Shit, now wha’ Ima gonna do wi’ dis fine craftywerks, ‘t’ll never fit in ‘er room.
2: Sell it on craigsylister fo’ free.
1: PROFIT!
How peculia.
I know that plaques can be a pain,
But how can grnadaughters change their names?
Ain’t that Ceculia?
Ceculia as can be……
Okay, folks, there have to be some ground rules. You can’t just belt out “PECIL” or Tits Aside and go to the corner. You must have lust in your heart and a will to poop willys! You need to bathe in the meme stream! You Must Be of Unpure Heart! *This offer expires at midnight, cannot be used in conjunction with any other offers or coupons. In case of a tie, the winners will Puncity Punch Punch it out in the box. Your mileage may vary, void where prohibited and in Alaska during Moose mating season. Do not remove this tag. Store in a cool, hip place.*
Move your tits aside and let my PECIL through…
Corner?
What if you have lust in your eye and a will to cut cheese?
I have dust in my eye and a desire to pet willi… And I’m there. That was easy.
Wait… What?!? Void in Alaska during moose mating season?! How can this be?
Tits aside, that’s when the lust in our hearts is strongest.
(or is that strangest?)
Of course we poop nuggets not willys.
When is moose mating season exactly?…
Wait a minute I’m a sea.not.a.lion not a moose…
Well, PECIL!
I have lust in my corners and a desire to poop pecil-tits. Do I go aside the mating moose?
I was rummaging around in my closet and uncovered an old joke from the 80s. Let me dust it off:
Jimmy Carter may have lusted in his heart, but Gary Hart lusted in his jimmy.
Guess you had to be there.
For those of you not in the know, Gary Hart is a political thriller writer, and Jimmy Carter is a peanut farmer who was once attacked by a rabbit while on a fishing trip.
I thought it was Nixon Jr. who was attacked by the rabbit. I knew I shouldn’t have done those drugs back then.
Wait. During the Nixon era, you did drugs so powerful they caused a rabbit to go nuts and attack one of Nixon’s spawn? Wow. Psychedelic, man.
Oh, sad. If it’s 18″ by 5″, that’s not terribly, terribly huge. The parents probably just think it’s ugly. Poor grandparent and their trying-to-be-thoughtful, hard work.
Or there IS no room because the thing is covered, wall to wall, with One Direction posters.
Thanks, Digi, that’s going to give me nightmares for a while.
ghostcat and required (if that is your real name), you have done well. You have performed your quest and now may bask in the praise of your peers. Enjoy this Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Simon Sez!