YSaC, Vol. 1418: I’d rather spend my whole life without you.
Hey ladies! Who wants to date a hummingbird feeder? No, really:
lady friends welcome – m4w – 55
I just want to keep up on a womans point of view,(just friends). Emails,text…maybe phone,or coffee. Who knows… Please be over 50…a pic would help. What I like? I think I like what it everybody else likes. Camping will always be number 1. I love to camp by nice lake. Who doesn’t like to dance? I love early morning breakfast, just so that I can watch the sunrise. I attended 24 hour fitness in ######### at least four days a week. I will talk about pretty much anything, anything you want to talk about. lets talk.
What if I want to talk about subject/verb agreement? What if I wanted to know WHEN you attended 24 hour fitness at least four days a week, since it was clearly at some unspecified time in the past, possibly as long ago as the Italian Rennaisance. Can we talk about where “Nice Lake” is, since both Nice, France, and Nice, California seem to be sadly lakeless?
And finally – can we talk about why a hummingbird feeder is posting personal ads on Craigslist in the first place?
Thanks for sending this, JGW!
Perhaps the size of the hummingbird feeder is some indication of this gentleman’s private parts? Not wanting to take pron picture for C’List
Nice clean corner – who has been doing the cleaning?
Well, we weren’t paying OMV to clean up, last I heard.
“Please be over 50”
Oh, trust me, I am SO over 50. I prefer Jay-Z.
I’d love to take you camping. Let’s fly to a nice lake.
I love early morning breakfast with real sugar water, not that fake.
Hummingbird, don’t fly away, fly away. Hummingbird, don’t fly away, fly away.
[Matt]I hate it when you craft a really long comment, and accidentally kill the tab when trying to tab back after doing a spell check.
Kinda ruins your flow, you know?[/Matt]
All too well.
Kinda Hungry – HFF – 2
I was the blue crested bird, flitting busily from flower to flower, wings a comical blur as I hovered just inches from you. You were the bright red base with clear canister. You were wearing those entirely unconvincing yellow flower appliqués that weren’t fooling anyone. I tasted of your sweet essence, and we hit it off immediately. It didn’t seem meant to be, though. You wore that red dress and were giving yourself to any bird that came along.
Last week I saw you again. Your hard life of constantly being used had finally taken its toll. You seemed empty and unfulfilled. When I tried to sample you, I came away with only a bitter taste of disappointment and rejection. I said some things that were unkind, and we parted on bad terms.
A little bird told me that you’ve pulled yourself back together again. Now you’re filled to the brim with such sweetness that one would hardly believe you to be the same feeder. I also heard you moved to Nice Lake, so I am busy planning a trip up there to see you again. Toss me a line and maybe we can go hang somewhere.
“nice lake” isn’t a geographical location. He likes camping by actress Lake Bell, whom he considers nice. She, however, considers him stalkerish and has requested a restraining order.
Her sister Kristen, however, is totally fair game.
Dunno that I’d say anything so mean within earshot/arm’s reach of Vikki–a person could get thumped.
I’ve heard that Veronica was an experience, but that lake is gone now . . .
Is this the Lake where Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves keep traveling through time in that mailbox? Or is this the Lake where Jason Vorhees drowned? Where Champ lives in Lake Champlain? Where the Edmund Fitzgerald went under the waves?
Sister Kristen oh the time has come…
Personally, I hate camping (why would any sane person want to be that far from indoor plumbing?), so I’m not sure why Sparky thinks he likes what everybody else likes, although perhaps “what it everybody else likes” means something different.
Sparky likes what everyone else on CraigsList likes; being smothered in butter and rolled in old carpet, pretending to be an animatronic dinosaur, and stalking women in coffee shops based on their handbag choices while driving around in a truck covered in bees.
And pursued by haunted objet d’art from the mountain cabins of Florida in bagels, winter and summer. For sale, free.
But he just wants to keep up with the point of view of an older woman.
I expect he wants to be inundated with news about hot flashes, varicose veins, the kids not calling any more, stupid people on the internet, coworkers’ ne’er-do-well children, things that aren’t really music (honestly), trips to Cancun, new yoga workouts to try, Irma Bombeck, and why winter is so much colder now.
I prescribe box sets of “The Golden Girls”.
Must . . . find . . . Tits aside . . . Joke . . . .
Nope. The brain has powered down. Ima go look at shiny things.
Tits aside, hummingbirds are entertaining small birds to watch at backyard feeders. The tits (chickadees and tufted titmice) are easier to attract with regular birdseed and will visit in snowy winter, unlike the hummingbirds.
I like early afternoon breakfasts, just so I can see.
Maybe this comment would be better for someone living farther north than me.
I don’t think I could work out at the gym for 96 hours per week. I don’t think I could even just watch for that long.
The hummingbird feeder is the gathering place for several birds who like nectar. During the day, one “bouncer” male will guard the place, but just before dark he will let everyone tank up so they can fight again tomorrow. I think Sparky is the bouncer, and is trying to find more business for his spot, if you know what I mean.
Either that, or Sparky is this guy.
I have to take off my hat to him. I like it!
I had a conversation with a hummingbird once. Funniest 5 seconds ever, but I may have missed the punchline.
(witty, if forced, avian mash-up of Much Ado About Nothing and R&J, now lost to not having been saved before a copy-paste uh-oh–Taco just had to say something today)
So, on a different tack–Poor Sparq’ he be fr’m dahn sou Loo-ee-anna and done di’ Marie Le Vaux wrong, doncha’kno’, huh, cher’? She put dat spail on ol’ Sparq’ an’ ‘e’s a”anging ou’ da wind’a ‘a the gym dahn d’ bol’evard dey dahn pas’ Thibedeauxes place doncha’kno? Nah, din’ gee’me wrong, cher’ but, ol’ Sparq’, he gots a view tres bonne a’ the femmes parfait awl a stretching and wiggl’t’n’ an’ all, cher’. ‘E don’ get much bourré in no’mah, I guar-an-tee; but t’view, she’s wort’ it, y’hear, cher’?
The above may be better read after listening to This YouTube
Capn, I made a slight edit in your first comment regarding Taco. 8) We are all too comfortable with each other.
J’comprende, c’est tout bon, mon amie.
(seein’ some zydeco music in my af’ernoon, doncha’kno’)
Dankeschön, meine kleine frau Vogel.
Tits aside, 50-year old hummingbirds are rare.
That’s right, no thin hummingbirds! 50 grams or more!
“Who doesn’t like to dance?”
*raises hand*
Me. I don’t. Unless it’s the Time Warp, of course.
Me neither, Ratwoman. Let’s just sit here and heckle.
If you stare at the picture long enough, the feeder begins to sway with the breeze.
Just sayin’.
Bugsy, I want what you are drinking. 8)
Free at last, free at last, DigitalAxis, you’re free at last!
Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Birdman of Alka-seltzer!
Actually Nice, CA is right on a lake….
Quite right – I was zoomed in too far, and assumed the blue patch was just the Pacific ocean. Well then – mystery solved.