YSaC, Vol. CLXXIV
2009 January 8
Refridgator
Side by Side, stop working in good shape otherswise
To go along with your non-working cars, why not acquire a non-working fridge? I mean, it’s in good shape otherwise, so it could be used for a bookcase, or a storage area, or you could make a go-cart out of it.
Or is “stop working” an imperative? As in “Stop working! Acquire this fridge!” It’s like Hammer Time but with a fridge. I wonder if it makes vanilla ice?
By the way, I think I’ve identified why the fridge isn’t working — it has a gator in it! (If you parse “refridgator” properly, it could be “refried gator”.)
This refridgator is in such good shape, I’m almost glad it stop working. It will maek the prefect coffee table. Well, maybe a little tall, but still…
I read it as a telegram:
Side by side STOP working in good shape otherwise STOP word to yo momma STOP
OMG!! I also have a non-working side-by-side!! I actually acquired it after it stopped working, paid $50 to get it working, only to figure out that it still doesn’t work! It now lives (still non-working) a few feet from the tiny super-old fridge that I had before….sigh….
It DOES have crap piled all over it, but it doesn’t really make a good coffee table.
It would if you a) knocked it over or b) got some really tall stools. Laddders, maybe. Then it’s a fully functional breakfast bar. Ooh, I bet you could sell that on Craigslist.
How about “ladders” with the appropriate number of “d”s. I guess I was just really excited about your new breakfast bar.
I would like to meet the ‘otherswise’ and see what kind of refridgators they have for sale.
omfg…for the last time already. The person of course was trying to obviously write “refridgerator”, but no one posting on cl seems to know that there is NO “D” in refrigerator!
Everyone selling a refrigerator seems to be confused by the short version, “fridge”, and I’ve just had enough.
Sorry. Having a rough morning.
If it *were* “refridgerator,” that would say “refried generator” to me. As opposed to, y’know, a refried gator.
Saw a great use for this fridge on the Red Green Show: His and Hers side by side coffin.
Mmmmm, refried gator. Get some hippo sour cream and water snake guacamole and you’ve got yourself some burrito fixin’s.
So, breakfast is at your house Lara? 🙂
Only if Lola brings the flask
Stop, fridge time! stands completely still because that’s what fridges do.
Stand in one place like a fridge
Now face [location]
Think about your purpose
Wonder why you have none
Stand in one place and don’t work
Now face Ish
Think about the place where you’re standing
Wonder why you’re not working anymore
If you are confused, then join the club
Go buy a dictionary to help you along
Your feet are going to stay on the ground
Your head is where? Can it move around?
I also checked out the help-wanted ad for Sparky’s company: “We’re out of business, but it’s a great place to work otherwise.”
First Church of Sparky: We’ve been shut down due to human sacrifices, but it’s a great place to worship otherwise.
National Bank of Sparky – We’ve run out of money but otherwise it’s a great place to invest.
It’s right next to;
Sparky’s Garden of Eatin’ – We’ve run out of food but otherwise it’s a great place to dine.
“Excuse me, waiter?”
“Yes, sir, how can I help you?”
“I have a problem with the food.”
“Oh? What seems to be the trouble?”
“There isn’t any.”
“Oh, yes, I’m terribly sorry, we’ve run out. But it’s quite good though, isn’t it?”
A more extreme version of “Waiter, try my soup.”
If it was only fried gator, I’d have to say no, but refried gator, that’s eating.
It’s the chicken teeth added in the 2nd frying that does it.
Only way to get it crisp on the outside. <G>
CRIKEY isn’t she a beauty, check out the size of this bloke!
I think i’ll dangle me rugrat over it.
Do you frequently find yourself browsing the fridge for something to snack on? Need to watch your diet but lack the willpower? Let the Refridgergator watch what you eat for you!
New from Blomco, The Refridgergator is a revolutionary food storage unit that only lets you take food out when it decides to! This is made possible by patented microchip design that monitors and tracks your eating habits and works out your ideal food regimen, and when you try to eat when you’re not supposed to — watch out! The Refridgergator’s patent-pending punishment system will save you from yourself. Just watch!
Woman walks into kitchen, opens fridge, browses for a few moments, then tries to grab something. When she tries to remove it, the door clamps shut and pierces her arm with mechanical teeth. The woman screams.
The Refridgergator won’t let go until you drop the food!
Woman drops food; fridge lets go; she removes her bloodied, mangled limb and runs to dial 911.
Ha ha! She won’t try that again! The Refridgergator’s patented and patent-pending designs feature a negative reinforcement model that ensure a strict diet will be adhered to without fail. You’ll shed pounds faster than you ever thought possible!
The Refridgergator is available for just 3 easy payments of $49.99! But wait! Order within the next 10 minutes and we’ll give you a display case for lost limbs or digits absolutely free! Just pay separate shipping and handling. You won’t soon forget the price you paid for that midnight snack next time you get those cravings, and if the display doesn’t remind you, the smell of human decay will!
The Refridgergator, only from Blomco!
Great idea! I’d like two, please. 8)
I’m with Windy. Just think how much money I’d save by keeping those kids out of there.
Artsy, do you think we need one in the Snark Lounge?
Now that you mention it, AR does keep scarfing all the spray cheese…
I think it might be a good idea.
Spray cheese? I’m offended you think I have such poor taste.
American cheese,* now that’s good stuff.
*Eeeewww.
(Also, I sat there and thought about it for a moment to be sure that AR is me, and that I’m not confusing myself with someone else again.)
I’ve never actually tried spray cheese. Not for any reasons of personal taste mind you, but because I’ve never actually seen it here anywhere in Ontario. I only assume it tastes like whipped Cheez Whiz, or maybe a creamier version of that “cheese” you get in Ritz Bitz sandwiches.
Probably needless to say but we don’t get “American” cheese here, either — or maybe what you call American cheese is something else here. (Kind of like “Canadian bacon” which is just peameal back bacon to us, and I’ve no idea why it’s considered some sort of Canadian thing because everyone I’ve ever met prefers the normal streaky bacon anyway.)
Uh, wrap some [coreys] around wherever it feels appropriate.
I happen to like Canadian bacon better, I give it an eh+
“American” “cheese” legally has to be labeled as a “processed cheese food.” It’s mostly plastic. Do you have Kraft singles up there in Canadia? That’s American cheese.
Oh, and also –
– sounds really INappropriate.
You would think a refridgergator company would have the sense to name itself “Nomco”.
Very true — I should have thought of it. It even goes well with their upcoming anti-fiddling garment aimed at the extreme fundie crowd, the Mastergator.
Capn, today in the box you get these comfy pillows and a free lunch of fried gator. Tastes like chicken! Okay, tastes like a chicken who lives in the swamp and eats anything it can get it’s jaws around.
[food corey] Actually, fried gator is pretty delish. It doesn’t taste like chicken, but it’s taste is pretty mild… until you add all the creole seasoning. I recommend trying it, if you get a chance. Mudbugs on the other hand…. pretty strong taste even before seasoning. I’m not a true southerner since I don’t like crawfish, at least that’s what everyone tells me. [/food corey]
[corey] Many years ago, when I lived in Austin, there was a place called the Old Alligator Grill – I think it’s closed now. I loved their blackened gator with bearnaise sauce – yum. [corey]
I so need one of MF’s Blonco gatorfridges.
LL, tha’s ‘acause y’r alla ways up thar t’ Shreveport. They doan know from mudbugs any mor’n they know chilli in Cincinatti <G>
To get good bugs, y’ hafta vive dahn t’whah the ‘bugs is’at; say DeRidder or on do’n sout’ o’ dehr. Spice is righ’ and t’boil righ’ an’ the bugs, aieieieieie! ah gu-ar-an-tee.
And this is different from chicken … how?
Gators do not peck at pebbles to aid their digestive systems.
Gators do not crow incessantly and in ways recommending judicious application of blunt-force trauma repeatedly.
Gators also are fiercely protective of their young, too.
Whereas a chicken is an annoying, irritating, stabbity creature whose only redeeming feature is that it can be raised successfully on and in filth and cheaply, too.
See you later refridgator,
After a while crockpotodile.
I think the refridgator is just a metaphor, and the ad is actually someone looking for romance.
He would like someone to be by his side. He would like this person to be rich so that he can stop working. He would like someone who is in good shape. He will take advice from others– others are wise.
Have any advice for Sparky? He deserves love, just like the refridgator.
Oh! I ain’t got a workin refridgator;
It’ll make your ice cream soggy and runny.
But it is otherwise, in good shape,
Side by side.
Today’s word that start to look wrong if you see it too many times on a page:
April
Brought to you by random curiosity.
And I should really go to bed already.
I am so disappointed that Cap’n didn’t show up for this Punchity Punch Punch! Oh well.
G’Night, Alaska!
Was called out, unexpectedly, on official business this morning. Then had to attend a funeral in “work” attire. To discover I’d been nominated a pall-bearer (gladly, really; whether first or last-minute asked). Thus, wound up motoring to Crockett (±75 miles) for the graveside and back. To then need to unwind in the semi-wake that followed.
Left house at 0500; lighting stop at 1155 for sunglasses and drop off secure items; then out and back, returning 2315.
Feel rather like all day in a clue-by-four hammer mill; punches, I’ve had a few already today; will hardly notice more. Where, O where has that ibu gone . . . ?