YSaC, Vol. 1397: No. Ken. Do.
2012 December 4
Ken more. Washer and dryer. Set. – $150
Ken more matching. Washer and dryer. The dryer is gas. The washer. Is a supper. Loader. I have had no problems. At all. Both. Work the. Same. As the day. I bought them. I slain have a elec dryer. To. Asking 200. For. The set. But open to all. Offers. Thanks. For more details. Call or text ###-###-####
The washer is a supper, eh? Honestly, I’ve never been able to eat an entire washer in one sitting. The best I ever did was two blenders and a waffle iron, and I was pretty bloated after that. On the other hand, you did go to all the trouble to slay the dryer. Tell you what – if you have it properly butchered, I’ll take a pound of dryer jerky and a stole made from the lint filter.
Thanks, WH!
When William Shatner gets on Craigslist . . .
I’m going with Christopher Walken on this one.
That’s what I had first, but then I changed it. Wrath of Ken, you know.
So it isn’t just me hearing Christopher Walken…
I was worried I was having a problem again.
It appears that Sparkie is having problems with a heavy period.
It sounds like Sparkie is trying to communicate via verbal interpretive dance, or perhaps haiku.
*puts on a leotard and poses like a tree*
Whispering wind blows.
*leaps around the stage*
The dryer, it is alive.
*crouches and pretends to sprout up like a flower breaking from the ground*
Your craigslist still sucks.
*bows*
Hey Lyle – we’re in the bawks together! It’s like we’re sisters! So…umm…can I borrow your new boots? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz?
Haha, sure 😀
Ken, be a doll and throw on one of Barbie’s aprons. I’d like more supper.
But make sure the apron matches, Ken. More matching.
I AM THE MIGHTY KEN MORE, slayer of the electric dryer of Gaath, wielder of the mighty supper loader of Kzog! Gaze upon my works and tremble, ye pathetic washers and dryers!
Digi – I’ve searched high and low, and there just aren’t enough doors in the lounge. I think we need to re-stock. Reckon Ken More makes them?
Who left all these doors open? You never know what you’ll find in the Snark Lounge if you leave the doors open!
“And hast thou slain the clothes dryer?
Come to my arms, my beamish Ken!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
Let’s supper by the fen.”
A elec dryer? Well, I didn’t vote for it.
Why dois your brand sae drap wi’ lint,
Kenneth Kenneth
Why dois your brand sae drap wi’ lint,
And why no supper you ete?
O, I hae killed my dryer on Craig.
Mither, Mither.
O, I hae killed my dryer on Craig,
And I canne sael it there, O.
Is it true what they say ’bout what lie beneath yer kilt, o’ bonnie Scotsman?
Ah lass, Is not what lie, but what truth beneath the kilt.
Twood not be proper to say what stand beneath the kilt.
Ken less matching $150. And. 200. Ken more cat mathing.
Funny aside: I once worked for Kent Moore. That dentilated “t” was often elided, rendering the phoneme “ken’moore” a near homophone for “Kenmore.” This did not always lead to efficient conversations, often requiring spelling out the terms in question.
“Izzis keh’moarh ?”
“Could you repeat that?”
“Izzis keh’moarh ?”
“This is Kent Moore, yes.”
“Izzat keh’moarh ?”
“Yes, is K-E-N-TEE, space, M-O-O-R-E, a cabinet company.”
“Yahl gotz warshers?”
[headdesk]
[old fogey aside]
Ken-Do, for me is the Tao of Japanese sword ‘fencing.’
Which causes me to imagine Bill Shatner being in a SNL sketch with John Belushi as “Samurai Appliance Salesman.”
Hilarity ensues–if only in my mind.
I’m mentally giggling right along beside you, Cap’n.
William Shatner: (in Samurai outfit, with sword) Come to Kenamura’s house of Appliances!
John Belushi: (Jumps into shot, also in Samurai outfit, with sword) Haaaai! We sell oven!
WS: And how much would you pay… for this? $500? (Holds up cloth with the price on it)
JB: (Slashes cloth with sword) Do not dishonor me with such lies!
WS: WE… give it to you for –
Unison: TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR!
(they slash cords that drop another sign, this one saying $200. It lands on the oven.)
WS: (Displays set of knives) Also comes with set of ginsu knives. (throws one offscreen)
(cut. They walk to a refrigerator with WS’s ginsu knife sticking out of the door.)
JB: How about this refrigerator?
WS: Honor the memories… of your ancestors… with this. (Tries to remove knife, fails) Only $400. And ice cube maker. (continues to struggle)
JB: Also comes with set of ginsu knives. (Displays set)
(Jump cut, they are now standing on either side of a washer and dryer)
JB: Or perhaps you would like… this washer and dryer!
WS: Don’t dry… like a housewife.
JB: Dry… like the mighty Khan himself!
WS: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
JB: Not KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN More, is Ken. Ken More. Noble ancestor.
Trust me, it’s not just in your mind anymore, Capn.
*giggles uncontrollably*
WS: Come to Kenamura’s house of Appliances!
JB: Haaaai! We sell washer!
WS: And how much would you pay… for this? (holds up cloth with “$500” on it) $500?
JB: (Slashes it with sword) Do not dishonor me with such lies!
WS: WE… give it to you for –
Unison: TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR!
(they slash cords that drop another sign, this one saying $200. It lands on the washer.)
WS: (Displays set of knives) Also comes with set of ginsu knives. (throws one offscreen)
(cut. They walk to a refrigerator with WS’s ginsu knife sticking out of the door.)
JB: How about this refrigerator?
WS: Honor the memories… of your ancestors with this. (Tries to remove knife, fails) Only $400. And ice cube maker. (continues to tug on the knife)
JB: (Displays set of knives) Also comes with set of ginsu knives.
(Jump cut, they are now standing on either side of a washer and dryer)
JB: Or this washer and dryer!
WS: Don’t dry… like a housewife.
JB: Dry… like the mighty Khan himself!
WS: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
This isn’t Shatner, this is a person with the keyboard hiccups. Some people deal with keyboard hiccups by just waiting for them to pass. Others deal with keyboard hiccups by removing puntuation keys from their keyboards. Either way, most people with this nuisance affliction who try selling on Craigslist end up lampooned on this site.
Wow, look at all the joliday decorations in here! A Hannuka bush, a Christmas tree, a Festivus pole, a Kwanza harvest table, and a Beesmus hive! Good job with the decorating, Lyle and CJ! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Jesse White and Gordon Jump!