YSaC, Vol. 1393: Nanny boo-boo.
Regular commenter OMV sends in this tiny speck of an ad:
need nanny
Hello,
I am looking for a nanny or babysitter for my three years old daughter…Looking forward to read from you if you are interested.
Thanks for reading !
Well, that hardly seems crazy at all… what could possibly warrant the inclusion of this ad on YSaC? Well, it does continue for just a bit:
This is tittle…….Looking for nanny/babysitter my daughter
……………………………………………..Hello,
I am actually looking for nanny for my three years old daugter..Please email me if you are interested.
Looking forward to read from you.
OK – the spelling is starting to degrade a little, but seriously, there’s nothing especially sucky here. They obviously just accidentally posted a draft of the ad along with the ad itself.
This is tittle…..Looking for nanny for my three years old daugter
…………………………………………………..
Hi,An experienced and understanding nanny or babysitter is needed to take care of my three years old daughter…Please email me if you are interested.
Looking forward to read from you.
Hmm. Bear in mind that each of these is in the SAME ad – these are not separate ads posted at different time. This is starting to get a little strange. I wonder how many more times they are going to post slightly different requests for the same thing in one ad?
This is tittle…….An experienced and understanding nanny or babysitter is needed
……………………………………………………
Hello,If you are an experienced and caring nanny or babysitter…This is an opportunity for you to care for my daughter for four weeks….Please email me if you are interested.
Looking forward to read from you.
This is tittle……Are you an experienced and caring nanny or babysitter
………………………………………………..
Hello,My name is Felicia….I really need to find a nanny or babysitter for my three years old daughter..Please email me if you are interested.
Looking forward to read from you.
This is tittle……Really need a nanny for my three years old daughter
…………………………………………………..
Hi,I am actually looking for An experienced and understanding nanny or babysitter to take care of my three years old daughter…Please email me if you are interested.
Looking forward to read from you.
This is tittle…….Looking for An experienced and understanding nanny or babysitter
……………………………………………..
Hello,If you are available and interested to take care of my daughter for 4weeks…Please email me and i will respond ASAP.
Looking forward to read from you.
This is tittle………Are you available and interested to take care of my daughter ?
…………………………………………….
Hi,Can you help me to take care of my daughter for 4weeks.?….Looking forward to read from you if you are interested.
Thanks for reading !
This is tittle…….Can you help me to take care of my daughter for 4weeks.?
……………………………………………..
Hello,I am looking forward to find a nanny or babysitter to care for my daughter for 4weeks……Looking forward to read from you if you are interested.
Thanks for reading !
This is tittle……..Looking for a nanny/babysitter
……………………………………………………
Hello,I need a care for my daughter………Looking forward to read from you if you are interested.
Thanks for reading !
This is tittle……..I need a childcare for my daughter
………………………………………………
Hello,If you are available and interested to take care of my daughter for 4weeks…,Monday-Friday.10am-5pm daily…Please email me and we will talk further..OK
Looking forward to read from you ASAPThis is tittle……..Are you available to babysit my 3years old daughter ?
…………………………………………
Hello,I am a mother of three years old daughter..Looking for a childcare for her for 4 weeks and i am ready to pay $300 per week and $1200 for the 4weeks…Please email me if you are interested.
Thank youThis is tittle…….Looking for a childcare for my daughter
………………………………………..
Hello,My name is Mrs Felicia…I am looking for an experienced nanny or babysitter to watch my three year old daughter.Please email me if you are available to take care of my daughter.I will pay $1200 for the 4weeks.($300 per week).
Looking forward to read from you
This is tittle……Looking for an experienced nanny or babysiter
……………………………………………..
Hello,Are you a reliable and hardworking nanny or babysitter…If yes,email me ASAP. I need a nanny for my 3years old daughter…Monday-friday,10am-5pm…I will wait to read from you.
Thank youThis is tittle…….Are you a reliable and hardworking nanny ?
……………………………………………..
Hello everybody,I need a babysitter or nanny to babysit my daughter for 4 good weeks..Monday to friday,10am to 5pm..Please email me if you are interested.
Thanks
This is tittle…….I need a babysitter/nanny
………………………………………….
Hello,I need a babysitter to babysit my daughter from Monday through Friday, 10am – 4pm daily…I am looking for a nanny who will take care of my 3 year old daughter..Please email me and let me know.
I look forward to hearing from you.This is tittle…….Looking for a nanny for my daughter
…………………………………………….Hello,
I need a babysitter to babysit my daughter from Monday through Friday, 10am – 4pm daily…Can you take care of my daughter(3 year old) I dont mind if you have reference.
I look forward to hearing from you.Please reply if it’s sounds you would be interested.
This is tittle……Need babysitter/nanny for my daughter
……………………………………………..
Hello,If you are dependable, reliable and trustworthy nanny or babysitter. I would need a babysitter/nanny who will take care of my daughter during our stay in the United states to spend our 4 weeks vacation.
I look forward to hearing from you.
This is tittle……..Are you a trustworthy nanny ?
……………………………………………..
HiI am looking for a nanny or babysitter for my 3year old daughter.I would need a babysitter/nanny who will take care of her during our stay in the United states to spend our 4 weeks vacation
I look forward to hearing from you.
This is tittle……..I need a nanny/babysitter so fast
………………………………………….
Hello,If you are an experienced babysitter and if you can babysit my daughter(my 3years old baby)…Please let me know. …I would need a babysitter/nanny who will take care of her during our 4 weeks vacation
I look forward to hearing from you.
This is tittle……..I need an experienced babysitter
………………………………………….
HelloI need an experienced, loving babysitter for my little girl(3 years old)…I would need a babysitter/nanny who will take care of her for our 4 weeks vacation.
Thank you
This is tittle………Are you a loving and experience nanny
……………………………………………….
Hello,
I hope you are doing great…I need a nanny or babysitter for my three years old daughter..Please email me if you are available to take care of her…I will respond to you ASAP.
Thanks alot
…………………………………………………………………
Hello Childcare givers,Are you available to take care of my daughter for 4weeks(Monday-Friday)..If yes,please email me immediately and i will respond ASAP.
Thanks alot
……………………………………………………………..
Hello.I am actually looking for childcare giver to take care of my three years old daughter for 4weeks…If you are interested and available,please email me immediately and i will respond ASAP.
Thanks alot
……………………………………………………
Hello,
My daughter and I will arrive and i will need your service for 4weeks excluding weekends..Please email me if you are available and i will respond ASAP.I will pay handsomely
Thanks alot…………………………………………………..
Hello,Please email me if you are available to take care of my daughter for 4weeks…..Please email me if you are available and i will respond ASAP.
I will pay handsomely
Thanks alot……………………………………………………
Hello.I need a mature and experienced nanny to take care of my daughter for 4weeks….Please email me if you are available and i will respond ASAP.
I will pay handsomely
Thanks alot
Oh. Well, that’s not crazy at all. Thanks Alot!
So she needs a goat for her son?
Isn’t it obvious? She needs more tittles.
After the first two, where do you put the others?
Barring custom-made support garments, naturally.
Actually, the ad has too many tittles. She needs a jot or two to balance it.
I agree with DaFT…
[corey]The dot over over an “i” is called a “tittle:”[/corey]
I think she needs a delete key for her keyboard.
…..this is comma
I am thinking her keyboard is deleteless
……here is karma
No delete has she. Needs it she does
…………karma karma chameleon
Blankly outy pressy no.
Yes this is dog.
Dear Tittle,
I am reading your
desperate cry for helpinteresting ad for a nanny.I am available
in 3-6 months with time off for good behaviorsoon to care for your three year-old children.However, I cannot care for the alot. Frankly, I am shocked you have an alot within striking distance of your triplets. Why, they’ve been known to eat small children in one bite.
Also, my name is not ASAP and if you pay handsomely I’ll never see a dime of that money. That bastard still owes me from the last time.
I look forward to reading from you.
Sincerely,
Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Feifings and;
Charter Member, Nannies United To Care for All Siblings Everywhere (N.U.T.C.A.S.E)
This is jot……Hee hee hee.
If Mojo Jojo had a kid.
When the OCD goes haywire. Imagine what the instructions she would leave for babysitting for her “3 years old daughter” would be like.
feed them
hello everybody, feed them
feed them [lightswitch on and off exactly 22 times]
hi, feed them
hello feed them tittle
feed them handsomely [check 28 times to make sure the stove is turn off]
feed them ASAP
feed them a trustworthy nanny [wash hands 13 times, then pat head and rub tummy]
hello childcare givers, feed them the United States for 4 weeks
Looking forward to read from you alot.
Spell simple words incorrectly 27 times; longer words always spelled correctly
Thanks a million [literally]!
I think I’m dead inside after reading this. I died a little each time she used three years old child/daughter. Then when the audience discovered this broken-record plea was written to spare mother from having to spend her vacation with child, I died inside a bunch more. I think what did me in was the mother’s deviation from 7 hours per day, 5 days a week to 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, to (intentionally or unintentionally) every single moment of the whole four weeks. At least she used actual math and not cat math in clarifying that $300 a week for four weeks would be $1200.
I think the dead inside part of me is gonna zombie shuffle over to the cheezburger domain and look at pictures of cute puppies.
So you’re new here and you will take just about anyone to watch the kid. How could this end badly? Discuss.
My thoughts exactly. That was one of the first things that bothered me. I mean other than too many tittles and not any jots.
I care not a jot for your tittles.
In old country, all are watching baby sometime while are working for Sergei. Was fine all times. Now in America, we run from Sergei, and all here watch baby play in streets of gold, yes?
Unlike her husband, Inigo, Felicia Montoya never knew when to stop talking.
But who killed HER father?
Do you suppose she needs a roofer, too?
Perhaps I can translate this.
Or maybe I’m just too cynical.
As I was walking to St. Ives
I met a woman with 27 children
Each child had a paragraph
Each paragraph was for a nanny
Each nanny had to email
Children, paragraphs, nannies, emails
How many were going to St. Ives?
:consults catulator:
Margarine underpants!
No, wait – that’s a one. I get those confused sometimes.
Do you consider all of the people that use St. Ives products?
Reply Hazy, Try Again.
I had a prospective nanny at my door recently, but there were two problems:
1) I don’t have children.
2) She was carrying an umbrella on a clear day; probably an illegal alien.
TL;DR
If you can’t write a good ad, write many.
If you’re still doing THAT wrong, I… don’t know.
…Orange you glad I didn’t say,
“This is tittle…….Looking for nanny/babysitter my daughter
Hello,
I am actually looking for nanny for my three years old daugter..Please email me if you are interested.
Looking forward to read from you.”
again?
Ah, so that’s where my NotALegal neighbor went…
Digi, your box eviction notice is here! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Department of Redundancy Department!
aw, I just finished moving the credenza…
I realize I’m late to the party on this one, but…
I provide child care in my home, as my full time job, and have done for two years.
I have read through ads on Kijiji (the Canadian equivalent to Craigslist) many times, when I have a vacancy I need to fill.
I’ve seen some awful stuff – people posting ads in the morning to find a babysitter for later that day. People who want care every day from 6AM to 7PM, meals provided, for $20 a day. People who say RIGHT IN THE AD that references are not required.
But this. THIS. I am gobsmacked. I cannot imagine what on earth possessed this woman, other than a ridiculously over-developed sense of entitlement. And tittles.
This is a scam. A family from out of the country, travelling in America, needs someone to provide some variety of childcare services. They’ll pay you the entire sum for a month’s work (1200, 1500, 1700, whatever) way in advance, send you a money order, you cash it and wait for further instructions about the kid. Except, the money order isn’t for the correct amount. Because they’re travelling to the country, they decide to send you a money order for rather more than the amount, and you’re supposed to mail the rest back to them, because going to a bank and changing money is harder than purchasing a money order with foreign currency. Or something.
But here’s the scam. It’s a bad money order. Which means that while you were able to cash the thing in the first place, it doesn’t go through the rest of the system, and the bank puts a charge on your account for the full amount. Which, if you sent that money back and spent your part of it, means you’re out a chunk of cash that the scammer got instead.
I got involved in one of these in response to an ad about tutoring. I knew from the e-mails and their inability to answer any questions about the kid that it was fishy, and once they started talking about “just go and cash this money order for us,” it was a scam. So I refused to receive the money order and sent the contact information off to the police. But I had a friend who got totally screwed on a similar scam for a huge amount, because she thought she was doing someone a favour.
Exactly what SnarKatestic said – except I have a slightly more sinister take on it.
My scam-dar went off with the first iteration – the lack of detail combined with the obvious ESL (“Looking forward to read from you”? No) is the first clue. Several other giveaways, but the fact that the sender goes from being anonymous to Felicia to MRS. Felicia was the final nail in that coffin for me.
But the part that made me curl my lip in disgust was the part where the poster says that “she” doesn’t care if the “reliable, experienced” nanny/babysitter has any references or not. That combined with the consistency of the “child” being a three year old girl makes me suspect that the scammer’s target demographic is pedophiles. I’d be willing to bet a full paycheck that any women who answered this ad were ignored, but any MEN who answered got the full Nigerian-prince-in-distress treatment.
Three’s a pretty challenging age. I am a mother and have spent about ten years working in day-cares and as an all-day babysitter, but even *I* would pause before taking on a three-year-old. Infants sleep, eat, and poop; pre-walking and barely-started-walking babies are adorable enough to balance out the work involved; five-six year olds are easier to entertain and old enough to understand that certain things just Have To Be Done (brushing your teeth, going potty, holding hands when crossing the street, etc). But two- and three-year-olds – that’s exhausting and daunting, ESPECIALLY when they’re not your own kid and you have no idea how they’ve been raised up until now.
The pay rate is only about $10/hour – better than minimum, I guess, but for the responsibilities involved in being the sole daytime caregiver for a child? Mmmm, not enough for ME, at least. But then, I don’t have any underlying urges to get my hands on a little kid for my own sick pleasures.
By contrast, say a pedophile reads that ad. Most likely first thought would be something like, “Hey! Unfettered access to a 3 year old girl for four weeks! The family is not local; I can give a fake name and whip up a false ID on my computer and they won’t know the difference between a real one and a fake. Intimidating the kid into silence will be easier with a foreigner than a local, and I can probably pass off anything the child DOES say to the parents as simply a cultural misunderstanding or error in communication. Even if they suspect anything, they’ll be gone back to wherever they’re from before they can figure out what to do, and even if that’s not the case, I’ll have given them bogus information so I’ll be untraceable. Best part of all? They’re gonna PAY ME for all this! Jackpot!”
The creep pounces on this “opportunity,” and is so busy thinking about the atrocities he’ll be able to get away with that his critical thinking skills get pushed out of the way. The family wants him to cash a money order for him? Well, it’s a pain in the butt but hey – whatever it takes to get the kid into his clutches sooner!
Then when he discovers that he’s been ripped off, what’s he going to do – tell the cops?
“Well, officer, I answered an ad to be a nanny and…”
“Why? Do you have child-care experience?”
“Well no but I just…”
“Mhmm. I see. You know, I think we’d like to take a look at your computer’s hard drive so we can get the details we need about the scammer’s email contacts to you. I’m sure you won’t have any objection to handing over your computer for a few days so we can get to the bottom of this, right?”
The creep knows this is the likely outcome, so he’ll never report it to anyone. He knows that the financial rip-off is less of a blow than the one he’d probably wind up taking if he reported it.
So after thinking about it for a few minutes (and deciding that my gut instinct/reaction is a plausible one), I have to say this is the first time in my life I’ve ever been impressed with a scammer, admire their approach, and wish them luck.
I smell a foreign scam too, but I think they planned it so the scammers would place a bunch of similar ads in different cities, and/or on different dates. The one with the best English skills created a list of the many ads that were to be placed, wrote everything out, including the titles and content for each ad, and then gave it to someone or something, with instructions on how to do the postings. Due to poor English skills, or sloppiness, or even a badly-written program (if a botnet computer was involved), the entire text got copied and pasted as one entry. The category and terms of the ads suggests to me that they intended to target undocumented prospective “nannies,” who might be more eager and vulnerable.