YSaC, Vol. 1390: Get yer Smurf on.
A.D.D MEDS A KEYBOARD AND NOTHING TO DO. (in the middle of a cow pasture)
So their I was floating through space when it dawned on me! Smurf sacrifice is the true way to the enlighten life. While on my quest to find the little blue bastards me and my trust side kick rampaged a town of ostriches leaving it suitable for the homeless and crack addicted elfs. We traveled through the portal of zoz to find the vial cruel creatures that support the use of unlubricated condoms and mirror mazes. We spoke to them after a good rumping and hours of running into transparent windows, they told us “hobiehoog brafrobinlogal” in short the slipp and slide will lead you to the smurfs. While sliding on this trans-dimensional slip and slide, a collides cope of images were being beamed into my mind with the message of the best grilled cheese sandwiches !Finally we reached the end and was greeted by Mormons and prostitutes. After we got the baby oil whipped off us we ventured towards the giant mushrooms lost in words from are depiction of these tiny blue creature and the giant mushroom forest I realize that I was alone my minion my protégé lost . Knowing he was a dick I continued forward with the realization that he is probably forcing one of the Mormons watch him try to procreate with one of the cum dumpster whores . ( BOOM BOOM BOOM) what was that I thought to myself as I run and try to hide as best as I can by these cylindrical object, I see something move out of the corner of my eye what could this be, no! It couldn’t be?? Faith hill and a black panther with an arsenal of cross bows and dildoes , she approaches me and frantically tells me of the giant blue nazi smurfs and their evil diabolical plan to over throw the………………………
email for the rest of the story….
I’m in a tryptophan coma; I can’t even brain this. I’m definitely giving it a “trying too hard”, though.
Anyone want to take over where Sparky left off?
Thanks, William!
Yep, trying too hard. I think you know you’ve been on the internet too long when you can weed out the true crazy from the fake crazy. I doubt he’s even in a cow pasture.
I don’t doubt that he was so bored he came up with this…. whatever it is… inspired by a not-even-that-funny meme picture
My A.D.D. makes it impossible to read all this. I got through about 4 lines and ………..
SQUIRREL!
Not reading was the correct answer. I wish I could unread it.
“diabolical plan to over throw the…………..”
47%. And they lived yappily ever after.
The only reasoning read all the “words” in this is that we have a pile of dishes left to do, and I’m in no mood.
Should have done the dishes.
Fun with anagrams! ” hobiehoog brafrobinlogal” is an anagram for “Ho Ho! Brainier goofball bog”.
I’ve described my writing process as me standing next to a cage. When the door comes open, I try to describe whatever comes out. Sometimes a snarling beast explodes from the cage and bolts in a way that would Secretariat look like a disinterested, lazy burro. At those times, my hands sometimes type faster than my brain can function and I make some funny typos. The anal editor in me of course can’t let that stand, so I have to to back and fix almost every one before continuing. Those stories escape my mind never to return if I don’t write fast and furious. At other times, the creature that comes out of the cage is more like a butterfly that flits slowly to a nearby tree branch and sits for a while, then spends some time alternating between flitting here and there and perching for a bit. Those stories sit in my brain and fester, which means I have plenty of time to ponder and describe, but the more I do the less natural the story feels to me. If I were to write something similar to this guy’s story, I would have to describe it as standing next to several cages sketched by Dali that open all at once and release creatures sketched by Seuss and trying to describe each creature a little at a time while looking through beer goggles at least a 6-pack thick.
Faith hill and a black panther with an arsenal of cross bows and dildoes , she approaches me and frantically tells me of the giant blue nazi smurfs and their evil diabolical plan to over throw the………………………
political agenda of cargo cult islands. I gave her all my grenades and a pinata, told her to go have a real fun time, and went to get an iPad at Wal-Mart. The End.
I think this guy has spent too much time listening to Bob And Tom.
Edit: NSFW
Seasonal head colds be fun, yo
The message of the best grilled cheese sandwiches is that you need to use different types of cheese, pickles, and rye bread.
I like rye.
Pickles? Yuck. My own personal way of making grilled cheese is with gouda cheese on a bulkie roll.
(Though I do like rye on other type of sandwiches).
The all-too-brief Food program “Ham on the Street” did an episode no grilled cheese. His take was to have a spinner to randomly select a bread; a spread; and a cheese.
The combos shown were quite fun. There was a dark wheat with extra-sharp cheddar and strawberry preserves. The pumpernickel and baby swiss and chutney sounded fun.
One combo scared me though (luckily it was now spun): Gorganzola with jalapeño jelly on Challa.
I know an old woman who swallowed some cheddar.
It was quite sharp but did not upset her.
She swallowed the cheddar to go with the muenster.
Which made her quite jolly and more of a funster.
She swallowed the muenster to go with the brie.
The brie made her taste buds shout out with glee.
She swallowed the brie to go with the pickle.
Garlic dill chips, the taste was not fickle.
She swallowed the pickle to go with the rye.
I bet I know why she swallowed the rye.
She does not like to cry.
Or maybe she’s wry.
Edit: Oops, that was a nesting fail. belonged after Llama Derps comment.
It’s like it’s taken from one of those “add a word to the story” games that forum sites like so much.
The text moved along quite quickly until I got to “collides cope”. It took me several tries to get kaleidoscope. Then it took several tries to get the spelling correct in my head while looking at the text. It was a relief to move on until I got to “cum dumpster whores”, Then I was ready to quit and just wait for tomorrow’s redux. But no, I just had to go on. Now my head is going to need more convalescing.
Let’s go back to talking about sandwiches
Man, I loved Portal of Zoz. Wasted hours as a young one playing that on my old 386sx.
Oh… This is yesterday’s post. I want a sandwich.
Wait… He did WHAT to the Ostrimu’s home village? Noooooooooo!
I hate this Sparky. Faith, hand me my crossbow.
I have a feeling the black panther’s name was Begorra.
Ducky, thank you for gracing the box and hanging the Winter Holiday of Your Choice lights! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Pierre Culliford!