YSaC, Vol. 1377: Your salad days are behind you.
2012 November 6
BODY TRAYS MORTUARY FUNERAL – $125
….. YES THEY ARE….22″ WIDE x 7′ LONG X 3IN. DEEP…. STAINLESS STEEL… WOULD MAKE A GOOD SALAD BAR….I HAVE TWO…$125 EACH…xxx-xxx-xxxx
Oooh, I say, have you tried this salad dressing? It’s delicious. It’s not quite a vinaigrette, though — I can’t figure out what it is. The herbs in it are so green and so fresh. It’s like they’re being … preserved in something, but I can’t imagine what! What’s the name of this place again? “Lettuce Remember?” I shall have to remember that.
Thanks, Ellen!
I’m not sure how this would constitute a “good” salad bar. Would it have real bacon instead of the fake stuff? A wide selection of dressings? Various puddings? The ghosts of its previous tenants?
Just kidding – everyone knows pudding isn’t a salad.
Pudding is too a salad–when on fire!
If you have an oven big enough, you could make an epic batch of brownies in these things – provided you don’t mind the corpsey aftertaste.
I think the sellers may have the oven in question also.
You had to go there, wanda. You really had to go there.
I think we’ve got an eater!
I have one of those, but I keep burning everything I try to cook in it. I can’t figure out the issue for the life of me.
Hey look, it also comes with decorative pots for flour and sugar!
And brownies taste better than pixies and pixies taste better than nixies and nixies don’t taste better than people.
Perhaps I’ll just go over here in the corner.
OMV, clearly they are giving you some GOOD DRUGS there at the hospital. 🙂 Love you, friend! So nice to hear from you, especially considering – and how the hell did you do this – you JUST HAD SURGERY!
Apparently, you can’t keep a moving violation down. Excellent!
I’m starting a chain of zombie-apocalypse-themed eateries in strip malls, and these will be perfect.
Oh, Dave! My son, stepson, and every other boy (and many girls also) will be eagerly anticipating this.
I think you’re on to something, Dave. Lesser ideas have generated millions.
A quick perusal of our local Craigslist finds:
1. A coffin that was used as a prop for the TV series Nash Bridges.
2. Two macabre framed pictures of dead bodies and funeral monuments.
3. An ad selling limousines entitled “Buy 2, get one free!”
In fact, it appears you could do all your capital investment shopping on Craigslist. I’m a helper. 😀
On second look, the limousine ad says “Buy 2, get on free!”
*sigh*
It’s even more YSaC than I thought originally.
At least it didn’t say “Buy 2, get off free”.
Yes. Corner.
I would so invest in this. Everyone who watches The Walking Dead would be lined up outside, just milling about mindlessly, hungry, waiting to pounce when the first opportunity to eat presents itself…
Organic menu?
And your theme music.
ELP’s Brain Salad Surgery?
I’ve got dessert:
http://www.meldmagazine.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/brain-jello.jpg
This is in catastrophically poor taste. Heh, heh. Just perfect for us.
Announcement: Normally I don’t put someone in the box two days in a row, especially someone who has a wing of the Snark Lounge named after them. But the people have voted! So OMV is once again safe in the box. Thank you.
Snicker…”in the box”.
Why couldn’t this be a Halloween listing?
Halloween is the day my cardiac was arreested. Appoarently cardiacs aren’t legal here.
I noticed two days in a row in the box.
Now I feel like I’ve been touched.
Touched in the head?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! They touched me!
‘M- O- O- N’ that spells touched.
I really don’t want to know why they call it a “chef salad”.
(Insert reference to “The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover” — possibly the most disturbing movie I’ve ever seen. Lets just say I really hate toy trains now.)
What, not Eating Raul or My Little Delicatessen kudos?
A Quentin Tarantino take on Like Water For Chocolate?
The question is: Where did they put the nuts?
In retrospect, Chef should have seen it coming.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebfLWAB8bY4
That’s a rather tender subject.
Another of Herman Munster’s failed entrepreneurial ideas…
Exactly.
Should have gone in the Clark W Griswald direction–bolt on some handles, shot of super-nonstick spray and made the world’s most dangerous toboggans!
Just in time for super-post-hurricane-nor’easter-snopocalypse winter fun!
Last time I saw one of these was in an anatomy lab. I can assure you I did not think to myself, “Hey, you know what I’ could really go for right now? A pulled pork sandwich. And salad.”
Yeah, not getting where, after a few dissection sessions where the lightbulb goes on with “I wunner wheres I kin gittme sum deese trays used, cheap?”*
______________________
*Of course, once that singular thought above is realized, there will be no possibility of convincing the owner of that thought that said cogitation might be singular and unique.
The salad is made from people. People!
Thank you, no, I prefer my soylent autoclaved…
Sterile Green is IF’s Clean Living death metal cover.
Every time I see things/events referencing funerals, all I can think of is: ♪♫♫”Ah…ah…ah… Staying Alive, Staying Alive”♪♫♫
And people were wondering why I was giggling at my grandfather’s funeral…
Whatever you do at a funeral, do not recall the persistent intertuubs meme about the difficulties in burying Hokey-Pokey aficionados–what with legs in, legs out, and wriggling all about, it’s hard to maintain a somber and mournful mien . . .
I hate you people. I am now doomed to chortle my way through the next memorial service I attend.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(sorry, figured I’d get the belly laughing out of the way now….)
The first three letters of funeral are FUN!
I appreciate how Sparky addresses our inevitable first reaction before getting on with the business of selling these. Because of course the first thing we all said was, “those aren’t the horsemen of the Apocalypse, are they?”
Sparky,before I even consider buying one of these,could you just tell me how come you’ve got two – and how you got them? are they used? or were they the wrong size? did they fail the requirements? will they buckle if heated? did they fail the standard size for a body in xxxyourcity?
Please email me at curious@youmustbesickerthanFreddy.com
My guess is a Sparky had a failed pitch for a Cialis ad. “Why just separate bathtubs? We could do a whole bunch of props. La-Z-Boy’s. Bumper cars…”
Très chic, très hip, très sexy!
Actually I can kind of identify with this. I was married to an embalmer who kept a heavy wooden box in which a casketed body was shipped from overseas (before my time). He refinished the box and used it for storage. It was a highlight of our hallway and we called it the body box. I hear that his next wife was freaked out by the thing and made him get rid of it. I’m not saying I would buy those trays, especially for food service. I’m just saying that things aren’t quite as freaky when you live around the business. That’s probably why the poster has a blind spot to the inappropriateness of the ad.
You make a rational and reasoned argument.
But, if Spark’ here were in (or related to) the biz, they’d know someone to offer the item to.
I’m having a day which makes me less charitable than most, I’m thinking Spark’ found these after they “fell offa da truck” (perhaps, 2nd or 3rd hand after) and is just having a sparkii sort of moment on CL. (Or after one too many episodes of American Pickers or Oddities.)
Just as a practical aspect, those are not going to ship inexpensively, so, they are going to be a local sale. I’d be willing to speculate that not many more food-service decor buyers frequent CL than do funeral services company types.
That’s a good point Capn. Even if he was in the business, people who are in it may be less averse to using items associated with dead bodies for other purposes but they don’t generally try to sell those items unless they ‘fell offa da truck’. Or maybe ‘outa de hearse’?
My cousin and her husband are morticians; I’ve seen pictures on her Facebook from one of her Halloween parties where they borrowed one of the old display models from work, lined it with plastic, filled it with ice, and used it to hold drinks.
Ghost, now that’s what I’m talking about lol. I can so see my ex having done that.
Aside from being just narrow enough to require cutting a two inch strip off the cage wire, those would make excellent catch pans under a rabbit cage. I’m not sure I could actually use them if I knew they were USED though. I would always imagine smelling dead bodies, regardless of how clean I got them.
Now I have the Bunnicula series going through my head. If your rabbits start draining vegetables of all their liquid essences and leaving them deathly white, I don’t see a problem using these pans at all. (Note to self: time to send another book order to Amazon for the kiddies)
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It puts the lotion in the basket.
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OMV, Punchity Punch Punch! Don’t want to tire you out after your busy day yesterday. 8)
Good Morning, Zombie Hunters!