YSaC, Vol. 1368: Happy Bloomsday!
Apparently it was Sweetest Day this weekend. Here at the YSaC Department of Pointless Holidays – well, OK, we’re a bit behind. We haven’t even had a chance to replace the Arbor Day decorations with the Grandparents’ Day decorations yet. Then again, we only have the one decoration, and it’s a giant inflatable badger, so there’s no pressure.
However, even if we haven’t quite gotten around to putting the little candy hearts on the badger yet, we can still do a little matchmaking.
hell bent on a slim lady, ltr or not at all no games
hi, i’ve ran a add for about 5 years with no luck, i’m not a sleep around and have found that looking for a lady who won’t drink is kinda hard, any-ways i’m 50 my kids lives out of state, i’ve lived a lone the past 14 years and would like to meet a nice gal to grow old with, i’d like to hit the mt. a few times a year and drop a fishing line in, drive over the mt. a few times a year and see my brother who lives in wenatchee, catch a movie every now and then, cook u dinner half of the week,and u get the other half, be easy going with a true love for who your wioth and don’t bullshit me around because i’ll drop u as fast as a hot spud. i second hand shop, yard sale and do most my own work around here, i live in a apt close to the water and it suits me just fine, do not send nude photos , IN FACT IF U SEND ONE I’LL FOWARD IT TO THE F.B.I. AS HARSSMENT. NOW FOR U GOOD LOOKING LADY I’M JUST SITTING HERE HOPING ON A LETTER FROM U. I’M RETIRED ,AND CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, I’D JUST LIKE TO HOLD A LADYS HAND ONCE MORE AND FILL THAT GREAT OLD FILLING CALLED NEEDING SOMEONE, HOPE U FIND ME HERE, I’M READY WHEN U ARE. NO PHOTO NO E-MAIL
We need to find someone who meets this gentleman’s high standards for looks, and low standards for spelling. Fortunately, this is Craigslist, so the latter should be no problem.
im confused.. – 27
this isnt my first post with cl…ive posted that i want someone to marry me, that i want a sperm donor, that i want tosee where it goes, and that i want a family quickly and ive posted i just want a good friendship first before anything. ive come to the conclusion that idk what i want and that im confused. im just not happy in my situatioon as is and want something different. i know its not just sex that i want because being an above average woman i could step outside and get that but i want something deeper i just dont know what. i have god which is my #1 but i guess i want a 2 and 3 husband and kids. honestly im not sure if i can even have children but it just makes my want for them more intense. i know that im prob babling on but it feels good just to vent even if i dont get any responses. im kind of feeling lonely at the moment and just want someone to maybe take me out and keep me company nothing sexual just something casual but i just need to feel desired for me not for my looks or whats in my panties. im free tonight if anyone else is and wants to go on a date or something. only sane people with there own transportation and money apply. your subject line should you respond should have the word “tonight” in it so i know its real and you read my post otherwise im not interested in wasting my or your time.
Oh, wait, never mind – she stipulates that she’s looking for someone sane. Craigslist isn’t the place for that. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go put a new hat on the badger.
Thanks, Mike and JW!
Is “putting a hat on the badger” what the hip kids call it now?
I thought they were calling it “hitting the mt. and dropping a fishing line in”.
I failed to include a [corey]. if I remember rightly, in Japan, “climbing the mountain” is equal to the UK/Brit/Commonwealth expression “getting a leg over” (miscommunication can ensue if referring to difficulties mounting a bicycle or saddled horse).
Including dropped lines and brothers probably involves significant additional expense even with the “pro services” crowd.
Lessee Mr Spark’ wants a non-drinking woman–have to wonder if that’s because he only has enough for himself?
He also seems to want a thin woman who is also a “mt.” suitable for bergenspiel (and also including a brother in alpine hijinks)?
Perhaps most troubling, as a post-fifty single male trying to not be Unibomber V2.n, is this categorical rejection of nude photos, even to the point of involving federal police. ([corey] unwanted pron by email is actually best reported to USPS as mail fraud–the feebs are quite full up with legitimate, serious, web threats [/corey])
So, I have to surmise that the unclothed photos are of wooden dressers, Vogon, political advertising people, and similar offenses to the eye. But, CL does not really have a section for “Nutz 4 Nutz”–oh wait, they do, “Rants & Raves”
Fixed it for you.
Wait — I saw this guy on Hoarders last season. And I think I saw that girl on The Bachelor.
Reality TV love for Bloomsday?
yes.
“NOW FOR U GOOD LOOKING LADY I’M JUST SITTING HERE HOPING ON A LETTER FROM U”.
Just try to convince me he didn’t steal that line from Joran van der Sloot’s prison correspondence.
“i want a 2 and 3 husband and kids”
Two husbands and three kids? Lady, I suggest you move to a nice retreat in Texas where they will be happy to accommodate you and your #1.
No, she wants #1) god and then a #2 (you knooooowwwwww…*ahem*)** and #3) husband and kids.
**is an mt anything like a bm?
Or she’s placing her order for the perfect family and can’t decide which combo to get.
Does she realize that, with 6 you get eggroll?
I’m thinking she’s given up looking for a 10, or even a 5, so she’s now ready to settle for one who’s a 2 and another who’s a 3.
If you add 2 + 3 together you get 5. AND, if you add in the 4 arms and 4 legs, you are well over the required 10 of anything. I didn’t even have to count the other 2 “legs.” See? It’s as simple as that to achieve perfection.
*dusts off hands, settles on the couch in the corner and pours herself a nice cool glass of champagne*
Ahhhhh…
No, no, no.
She already has a first husband she is looking for her second and third husband.
She’s a mormon feminist.
Sparky #1 does not want “GOOD LOOKING” women to send him nude photos of themselves and will in fact report them to the F.B.I. if they do so? Has this really been a problem for him in the past?
No wonder he’s had to run an ad for five years, his standards are much too high for CraigsList.
If Sparkles is looking for unconditional love on CraigsList, I suggest she try the pet adoption ads.
The last guy showed up carrying barter chickens in a stolen wheelchair from the loony bin around the corner.
Which reminds me; I think IF’s zydeco band, Secondhand Chickens, is playing at the Asylum this weekend.
Do you see the mt. as half peak or half valley?
Yes. *nods empahtically*
[Dons mad Austrian psycho-the-rapist attire]
Und, zo, how lonk haf yu zeen a mountain?
Zometymsk, die mountain ist only ein mountain, und nich die Schraedenbergefreuydespiel . . .
Ooonlezz du bist nahkid…
I love how the dude starts shouting at the end. Maybe his hearing aid fell out right then and he felt the need to shout.
Every now and then I read the personals on Craigslist and I realize being alone is not so bad.
It never fails to perk me up.
Heh. If these two got together, their relationship would have spark(ie)s.
IF, Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Place Funny Name Here!
Yes, I am running late this morning. Why do you ask?