YSaC, Vol. CLXX
2009 January 4
*FREE* Staples for an office stapler.
I have TWO rows of staples that can be used for an office size stapler. Unused and ready to be loaded and put to use. Email if you want to come by and take a look!
Whitney
Two whole rows of staples? Really? Wow, that’s like … 420 staples (assuming the industry standard of 210 per strip), which is worth … hang on, let me do the math … 5000 staples on staples.com = $3.99, which = $0.000798 per staple … so this is worth $0.33! Wow! What an amazing deal!
They’re not even worth the gas to get over there!
At my billing rate, they’re not worth the time to read the ad.
Look closely Dave – those are rare copper staples with a coating of verdigris. That ups their value by a factor of 10…….
I’m sold! They’re antique staples from the newly discovered copper age.
Lara! The Return of The Llamadurp! Hooray!
I like the fact that they appear to be very old, tarnished, and possibly even fused or rusted together. I also like the fact that she points out that they are unused. Thank goodness, as it would be a huge pain in the @$$ to straighten out then rebend all of those used staples to put into my office stapler.
I went over to “take a look” but they were too big for my stapler so I’m back to searching craigslist until another staple deal is posted.
Hmmm…I have no need for staples. Wonder if they have any equally rusty paperclips? I could use those…
Wow, free staples! Maybe now I can save up for those rubber bands I’ve always dreamed of.
The best part…”E-mail if you want to take a look.” Ummm, they’re staples. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.
Court*knee,
Not so. These, for instance, appear to be slightly rusty staples. Now, I can handle a little rust on my staples, but if they’re too rusty, it’s a deal-breaker.
Yep, I’d definitely want an on-site inspection before I decided to take these puppies home with me.
Based on the Llama-Nun’s (BBUH) math, I can’t help but wonder if this is yet another obscure drug ad. Then I remember what the average intellect of a drug user is and there goes that theory.
Just think of all the tetanus opportunities that those staples present and their value obviously increases. Especially if you are Milton from Office Space.
It just needs to be marketed right:
FIFY
Well, Whitney does say, “ready to be loaded.”
Maybe it’s not so much weed as an invitation to get drunk. A Rusty Staple sounds like a mixed drink one might find at those pseudo dive bars that tend to be crawling with hipsters.
Come on, you stupid fuck Whitney. Learn to use the fucking Internet already.
“*FREE* Fucking staples for a fucking office stapler.
I have TWO fucking rows of fucking staples that can be used for a fucking office size stapler. Unused and fucking ready to be fucking loaded and put to fucking use. Fucking email if you want to fucking come by and take a fucking look!
Fucking Whitney”
You’re fucking welcome
Quit fucking around!
Someone might need to de-fuckify BS.
Has anyone seen The Stick of Burning Defuckification?
*Please let it be a 10 foot stick*
Considering the way Bianchi runs with his memes, this is going to be a hard on to de-fuckify.
You got that fucking right!
Mmm… burns like –
Gotta go.
You forgot “Peace Bitches!”
Whitney has staples
I fee like my soul is dead
Free for the taking
I wonder if Whitney ever fixed the leak over her desk. I know where she can find a
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!ROOFER!
Windy – you bring up an interesting thought:
“Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.”
Is a grammatically valid sentence in the English language, used as an example of how homonyms and homophones can be used to create complicated linguistic constructs.
It is composed of:
Buffalo [City] – As in the city in NY.
Buffalo [Noun] – As in the animal or animals – Bison.
Buffalo [Verb] – As in, to bewilder or baffle.
So:
Buffalo [the city] buffalo [bison] (that other) Buffalo [the city] buffalo [bison] buffalo [bewilder or baffle] (in turn) buffalo [bewilder or baffle] (other) Buffalo [the city] buffalo [bison].
Or:
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
It amazes me that a string of 8 occurrences of the same word could be a grammatical, even meaningful (though hardly “acceptable”) sentence. Isn’t English a fun language?
Yes. Very “fun.”
Staples? For free?!
*yoink*
That was easy. (And so was Whitney. *drum fill*)
*Ahem* Whitney can also be a male name.
It’s also the name of a mountain in California with the highest elevation in the contiguous United States. Yeah, that’s right, it took some effort, but in the end, I did Mount Whitney. *bobs head rhythmically, does White Man’s Overbite* How ya like me now?
*Nods appreciatively, flashes a fake gang sign*
You da man, bro! High five!
I wonder if those staples abused Whitney…
Gotta go.
So with her singing career in the crapper, Whitney is forced to rely on her meager job skill training and has had to resort to reselling office supplies. The position of drunken, cracked out, rescue raft* has already been filled by Snooki.
*Orange and filled with seamen.
Dude…
Pure.Fucking*.Genius
*For those easily offended by the (lately) constant use of this profanity… I needed a 3rd word to fulfill the pattern… Sorry…
At least they are offering it for free. Still… if two rows of staples is all you have to offer just keep them for your own stapler.
Hey, it could be worse.
Whitney could be asking $3 each or both for $8.
Ms. Monica, please accept this Punchity Punch Punch with all the respect and admiration that it bestows upon you. 8)
G’night, Brighton!
You haven’t happened to see a Swingline stapler around too, have you?