YSaC, Vol. 1363: Tommy doesn’t know what day it is.
Dodge avenger in good shape – $1000 (dodge avenger)
hi my name is tommy and im saling my bluish turquise dodge avenger for a awsome price. im saling it for 2,100. The 1996 dodge avenger was the best thing to ever happen to me its in the tip top shape…everything has been fixed and replaced on it even the tires are brand new. reliable car. willing to negotiate!! even though it is a good car im about to buy new car!! so i am just basically giving it away at this price. good deal
How you know you’ve failed at life: When the best thing that has ever happened to you was a 1996 Dodge Avenger.
Runner up criteria include – not being able to tell the difference between $2,100 and $1,000, and being unable to notice the absurdity of suggesting that literally everything on a car has been either fixed or replaced. Once the fuzzy dice go, everyone knows it’s time to just total the thing out.
Thanks, Kim!
Says Tommy* is under sail for 2100, which suggests that the engine in this car might be unreliable, and that it’s filled with clowns.
Or, perhaps the shades of clowns. Which would make it a haunted car (and by more than the now long-past memory of Tommy’s glory years back in 2009).
So, being paid a grand to skip this rolling (presumably) art installation of the inhumanity of clowns upon man might be fair.
__________________________
*Clearly not Ray M’s brother and half of a long-running NPR radio show. That Tommy being a Dodge Dart fan.
It WAS full of clowns…
…but the chupacabra ate them.
That’s because clowns taste like chicken. Bacon chicken.
That last one I had must have gone bad, then. It tasted a little funny.
Along with the cream
I had clowns in my coffee,
clowns in my coffee.
And you are so sane
You prob’bly think I just wrote
a haiku. No way.
Can’t sleep, undead half-devoured chupacabra clowns will eat me.
Thanks, Cap’n. Now I had to go back and read Dan’s entire commentary in Ray’s voice. Had to use my judgment on where to place the guffaws and belly laughs.
My work, here, it is done <GRIN>
And remembah, don’t snark like my brothah.
Maybe this is The Who’s Tommy.
Sorry, I can’t hear you.
…sure plays a mean pinhead.
Did you check the title? 🙂
√ Tommy doesn’t know what day it is.
What are you guys? Abbott & Costello & a Marx?
Gack, that should read “Skip this rolling art installation spinning into the car crusher” with all the allusion and imagery of an Avenger spun, toy-like across a pond into the waiting jaws of the crusher with the shades and shees* of clowns centrifugally out of the doomed dodge.
Curse you, slow-acting morning coffee. (We need that coffee teleporter.)
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*Clowns, being typically mime or mute clearly cannot be banshees, and therefore must needs only devolve to shees. Och! Just had an idea for a Saturday-night SyFy extra super scary movie: Zombie Clown Haunting.
Zombies + clowns = ghostie hiding under bed.
Good thing I’ve got tig here in the bawx to protect me.
Will trade for a hovercraft full of eels.
I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
O consulta a Manuel. Ese tipo sabe mucho.
Nem fogok vásárolni ezt a rekordot, akkor karcos.
A lila angolna igényel elemeket Sir William.
хвастун 🙂
(Я надеюсь, что Google не дает мне ругательство.)
Darn! I’ve always yearned for a reasonably priced purple hoopdie. My search continues.
Buy my Avenger; my set price is a fail, and it’s about to set sail!
I’m selling a car; it’s all fixed or replaced,
And the rear-view is held on with library paste.
Mmmmm. Library paste. Tastes delicious!
Feel the chassis shimmy!
“Are you bluish? You don’t look bluish.”
She just didn’t have her headphones on.
[corey] This post is missing its tags. It doesn’t look good nekkid. [/corey]
Fixed, with two classics and a hot new number that I can’t believe we haven’t used before.
I just figured that new one would have been redundant and that’s why we avoided using it.
Whoa, good one! Hmm, should I call in sick so I can surf Craigslist and comment here all day, or go to work and be semi productive? I’ll get back to you.
Thanks, IF!
♪ Saling, saling, saling a Dodge Avenger… ♫
I saw that movie! The Artful Dodger wanted to be one of the Avengers, but Nick Fury banished him to Antarctica. I think Iron Man should go rescue him.
But if EVERY part has been replaced, is it the car Tommy bought? If every part was replaced, clearly the car Tommy bought was NOT reliable, and yet there it is. Is it reliable now? Is it even a 1996 Dodge Avenger? Tommy’s not even sure if it’s blue!
Damn you, Tommy! Damn you and the Ship of Theseus you rode in on! I hate it when Sparkies bring up ontological dilemmas this early in the morning.
Digi, you’re in my head. How does it feel to be in a vast wasteland?
Look at the wasteland, then back at me. I’m on a horse.
A horse with a
manename?But, but, all I see is a schooner . . . ?
And, it’s on a Styx concert T
But, that may just be a Grand Illusion
Rather than a Magic Eye
Since it seems to be the Sloop John B
Not only that Digi, it’s not a car, it’s an event. It’s something that happens.
Tommy isn’t selling a car, he’s offering an opportunity to invest in a vehicular experience.
Me: Did you fix the steering wheel?
Tommy: No, nothing was wrong with it.
Me: So you replaced it?
Tommy: No.
Me: How about the dash? Did you fix or replace that?
Tommy: No, there was nothing wrong with it.
Me: And the passenger seat? How about that?
Tommy: No.
Me: The gear shift?
Tommy: No.
Me: The glove box? Antenna?
Tommy: No.
Me: Motor mounts? Lug nuts? Chassis? Floor mats?
Tommy: No.
Me: Paint? Grill? Trunk?
Tommy: No.
Me: Dipstick.
Tommy: No.
Me: That wasn’t a question.
Tommy: Look, do you want to buy my car?
Me: Can you tell me what you did fix or replace?
Tommy: Tires. I put that in the ad.
Me: Oil? Coolant? Air filter?
Tommy: Huh?
Me: The preventative maintenance items. Did you ever service the car?
Tommy: Umm… Hey! It’s a great car, I can almost get it to start.
Me: *walks away mumbling about Sparky probably never checked the blinker fluid either*
Hey, he meant to change the relative bearing grease . . .
Hey, wait, Tommo said “fixed & replaced”–mebbe that mean he neutered each part and put it back in place.
Wonder if you spay or vasectomize a steering wheel?
Beware of relatives bearing grease.
I bet he never rotated the muffler bearings, either.
But he added more flies to the fly wheel.
Not to mention trimming the horn.
Hi! How is everyone? My goodness, I’ve missed you all, so I decided to take a break and visit. I learned so much! Such as:
Dodge avenger is an event
1000=2100
The clandestine clown wars continue
Tires are everything when it comes to car regeneration
Ain’t no snarkin’ like the YSaC snarkin’ ’cause the YSaC snarkin’ don’t stop. (Wot wot!)
Hey, welcome back, Rebecca! We missed you too!
Rebecca, I gave you your first door today because as you know, if you leave an opening for a snarker, you will be snarked.
The more you know.
Welcome back.
“everything has been fixed and replaced on it”
If it aint broke, I haven’t worked on it yet.
ghostcat returned to the box to find
tigprincess was pouring the milk
they shared the toy mouse and balls of yarn
and slept on the cushions of silk
Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Mr. Townshend!