YSaC, Vol. 1350: Does Anybody Want A Peanut?
Who’s ready for a wall of crazy?
Not the Average Seeking My life tyme
My Heart Is worth more than you can ever Imaging !!
My Patients are very low with B.S
Yes I’m Spoiled
No I’m not Easy at all
Yes I do have the Brain cells / I am a brain Tanker who thinks 2 the extreme , I believe I Should had or become part of Investigator, I can Solve any problems with out discussing it with the body being around, the keys are my instants an my facts run so many MPH !!
I seek for Understanding in my Life
I Dream for real unconditionally Pure LoveMy Connections has been drawing to all types of shape form & size with a variety of ppl Im so picky .
? who will or can take the tyme out for me an to know who I’m really am on the Inside ..I gotta keep It Real though ARE YOU READY !!
My Resume: God is my guide, he controls my life. But after one week with me, you’ll try to make me your wife. There are plenty of women out there but I’m not the same. I cook clean & play video games. I can do my own hair and pay my own bills,lol Can easily joke around but can also keep it real. I can dress like no other and make sweat pants fit tight, I like to watch football & I love to play-fight. My kiss will make your toes curl and for more of me you’ll beg. I have many talents both in and outside the bed. I can beat you down, build you up, and be your friend, I don’t mess around, stick with one man. I let you be the man and I give you your space. You’ll definitely fall hard, simply from just one taste. I am a siren, I’ll entice you with my song, once your with me, you can’t go wrong. I am the best choice, there’s no room for debate, I take care of business and I’m never late. I can dance sing, Either way, it doesn’t matter, I still do my thing. I don’t have many enemies but I’ll fight yours for you, I’m surprisingly very strong, there aint nothing I can’t do. Look deep into my eyes. I’ll set your soul on fire. When I dO Decide 2 date
*SO U THINK U KNOW HOW TO LOVE A REAL WOMEN**
BUT I THINK ITS STILL SOME THINGS YOU NEED 2 KNOW !!My Heart beats with My Attitude !!
Im am so ova protected .. could u find a way to slow my Attitude down I deserve the finest just dont short hand me an we will be just fine as I look !The Key Is never say No !
Never be cheap with me !I have No kids an Perfer A Gentlemen !
Im 51 weigh about 110 120 Carmel tone slender & Petite Sexy an very AmbitionHow about our first date an where will the destination be
A Brain Tanker, eh? So this, then:
No?
OK, fine, then let’s critique the gratuitous use of rhyme in this post. Actually, no – let’s just mock it. If you’re going to write cheap doggerel, it needs to scan, or else there’s no point. Very few things annoy me more than bad Seuss.
I think it also bears mentioning that when drmk and I were first dating, one of the things that attracted us to each other was that our text messages to each other always used proper spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. And this was back on a 12-key numeric keypad when that was HARD to do.
Somehow, I doubt there will be much risk of that in messages from Sparkette here.
Thanks for the post, Mike!
1. Siri needs to be reconfigured to suppress Voice-to-Text while the User is high.
2. It’s a shame when spambots are more terse and clear than Turing-fail sparkii.
3. ?????
4. Loss (poor Pinkie)
Wait…where’s my *promised* $50,000,000 if I send you the $45 ‘release fee’ part?
So God was out making a sandwich when you wrote this?
Seriously, this has “Crazy stalker/emotionally abusive” written all over it.
Or it might if Sparkette had not been so stoned.
I would not, could not, like this girl.
She really makes me want to curl
Up tight into a tiny ball.
I do not like this girl at all.
Would you like her with a brain?
Would you like if she were sane?
Would you, could you, take a bat,
Smush and feed her to your cat?
I would not, could not, take a bat
And smush the girl ’til she was flat.
Not only would I get all dirty,
I’d wind up serving fifteen to thirty.
Uh, sparkette claims to weigh 110,120 and emulates a southern California municipality–your arms are likely to give out well before you could tenderize 50 long tons of tony cityscape.
So, you might get a ticket for vandalism.
Which is usually just a fine.
Well, or, you could have to sit in the former mayor’s empty chair and listen to ad lib diatribes (Vogon poetry might be better).
Is she looking for a date or someone to produce her mid-life crisis rap CD?
I’m not sure, I thought it was dating, but then she said at the end “…when I dO Decide 2 date.” And then, “How about our first date an where will the destination be”…
“the keys are my instants an my facts run so many MPH !!”
Well, my instants also pass really fast! We must be in the same space-time continuum! Twins!
“My Patients are very low with B.S
Yes I’m Spoiled”
10 out of 10 overworked Med students agree.
“Im am so ova protected ..”
It’s a free country! If you want to wear football padding at all times, you can.
I guess football pads would protect ova, although that isn’t what they’re designed for.
Gee, and I was hoping that someone had enveloped (her) ovaries in cyanoacrylate . . .
That, or there’s an IED as IUD, plus NorPlant, and two diaphragm in use . . .
Penguin,
I am not sure the difference between those things is as big as you imagine it to be.
I have been wanting to date a brain tanker for as long as I can remember. Goodbye, boring world.
What’s she protecting her ova from?
Really, at 51 I’m sure they don’t need protection from, well, the squiggly guys anymore.
I’ve been told that organ meat is not good for me, but I’m guessing $3.99/lb?
That’s why they’re all seeing different doctors now.
Ew! Is that what I’ve been smelling?
So you like beeing difficult.
2 brain cells are extreme? I don’t think that’s even a minimum.
I believe you should investigate a grammar tutorial.
So, you haven’t discussed with anybody wher you hid the body? That’s probably the most intelligent thing you’ve done so far.
Now we know why you don’t have any facts. Facts can run faster than you.
I doubt I need to go further with this. Picking this entire post apart line by line seems quite laborious.
[shameless self-promotion]
If anyone does enjoy picking things apart line by line, may I suggest submitting a piece to The Library of the Damned?
http://literarytravesty.wordpress.com/
[/shameless self-promotion]
You shameless hussy, you!
Signed,
http://awesomesauciness.wordpress.com/
I never knew you were such a snarker.*
*Ha, yeah right.
Oh, Ghostie. Plug away.
While you’re at it, my blog (to which I will not post a link here, in the text of my comment) picks real life apart, line by line. If you’re into that sort of thing.
That whole discussing without the body being around thing? It’s because she’s going to CARRY YOUR BRAIN AROUND IN A CANISTER!
I believe I’ve said this before, but please, ladies, for the love of all that is my favorite movie theater food, can you please stop describing yourselves as “chocolate” and “caramel”? When I bite into my Caramello bar, I do not want to think of Spoiled Brain Tank here.
Well, point-of-fact (if sparkii blurred) Sparkette specifically said “Carmel toned”.
Wiki offers up around a dozen places so named.
I’ve actually been to Carmel-by-the-Sea; it’s a pleasant enough place.
Although, it has a ‘vibe’ of being beyond hip, chic, or even trendy–rather a case of an inviolable belief that they are all ahead of avante-garde. Which renders it a sort of smelly, hipster, hang-out with a “yeah, sure, the better artistes are all in Taos, but, Hey! Duud! Look, The Sea! Doood” attitude. For a California art colony it seemed an odd mix of hipsters and Republicans.
Now, it’s entirely possible Sparkette did mean “caramel”–and this could explain some things, like they should not have cooked the meth to “hard crack” stage and then posted on CL.
Or, she added a letter, and she meant she was built like a camel. Any prospective dates should probably inquire as to whether she’s a dromedary or a bactrian, before they acquire leaves and berries for their even-toed ungulate friend.
Y’sure there, dear? I know some expensive tomography outfits; and some experimental/research places that can create Imagery for really phenomenal amounts of lucre . . .
Ultrasound, pffft! Sympathetic hadron resonance, baby!
You just hadron to go there…
We’ve got a real hadron for bad personal ads.
For a 51 year old Sparky sure sounds like a 15 year old trying to make herself sound sophisticated. I sincerely doubt this girl made it through high school. My best guess on the whole investigator paragraph is she watches a lot of CSI or Reality TV and can guess the ending before the big reveal 2 times out of 3. And seriously, she thinks tight-fitting sweatpants are sexy? That hardly counts as dressing like no other when there are dozens of sites dedicated poorly dressed people trying to pull off the exact same fashion disaster.
She’s also doing this…poetry on a Sugar Baby website — http://www.sugarsugar.com/people/profile/member/Sugar_Baby_in_Hyattsville_MD_UpScaleQuality
Dear fellow YSaCers:
Not everyone in the Washington metropolitan area is like Sparkinetta here. Some of us can write poetry that scans.
As a former film editor, I recognize this part:
It was cut from 2001, A Space Odyssey, right after the line:
Dave? What are you doing Dave?
and before:
Daaaysseee, Daaaayyssseeee…
“…who will or can take the tyme out for me….”
Tyme out! I’m not going to Scarborough Fair.
Of corse not, as ye’re too busy perusin’ ye olde tyme persenel addes of Craiges Lyste!
Do you believe in magic?
In the Taco Man?
How the snark, it can free us
Whenever he starts,
And it’s Magic if he’s feeling groovy,
He’ll make you feel happy like a redux posting!
You can join the Magic, it will free your soul
But please don’t be a corey or an evil troll, ah!
TacoMagic, Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Dog is my co-pilot!
The “poem” was, by comparison, so sound in grammar in spelling (not to mention the use of the word “siren”) that I Googled a few lines to see what I would get.
Behold: http://www.sugarsugar.com/people/profile/member/Sugar_Baby_in_Hyattsville_MD_UpScaleQuality
She full on ripped off this girl’s profile.
And in the vein of gross misrepresentation (beyond the blatant falsehood of having “Brain cells”), a prediction about “weigh about 110 120”: add 40-50 pounds to this vague, 10 pound spread and you’re probably closer to the mark.
Any photos can be secondary – we are looking for interesting banter, soulful argument, gripping waters of comments bursting out of your photos.