YSaC, Vol. 1349: Tesla girls, Tesla girls …

2012 September 27

LOOKING FOR AN ELECTRICIAN INSTRUCTOR


We are looking for an instructor that knows everything about being an Electrician.

If it was voluntarily it would be nice but if you require pay we can talk about it.

I run a small Electric/Controls business. I would like to teach them myself but I have to much on my hands. My guys know more or less what theyre doing but they are not certified nor have any knowledge about the work being done. I would like to have them learn some things about what theyre doing. If you can get them certified then that would be great.

I have a small office with warehouse or if you know where we can do some teaching then please let me know.

CALL, TEXT, or email me.
Phone number is xxx xxx xxxx

 

Translation:

I’m sending my workers out to play with high-voltage electrical wires with no training and no clue. Can you help me limit my liability but not charge me?

Sometimes the “this can only end badly” tag just speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

Thanks, Jodi!

55 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 September 27
    CapnMac permalink

    [practice law corey]
    Much as I lament the change in Texas law who was required to work for pay on “line voltage” items, such laws are “written in blood.” It is not always the guilty who suffer, either; many of the ad-hoc nightmares work, as expedients do. They always require special, local, knowledge, and that is what puts paid to someone’s dreams, limbs, or life.

    So, while I used to have a nice sideline in improving switching, creating lighting scenes (mind you I could pass the Texas’ JM Electrical exam), I am comfortable with the law being in place. I’d be more comfortable if others heeded (or were aware of) said laws.
    [/corey]

    Adores: 1
  2. 2012 September 27

    I run a small Electric/Controls business. I would like to teach them myself but I have to much on my hands.

    Like what, dealing with your insurance carrier and opposing counsel?

    My guys know more or less what theyre doing but they are not certified nor have any knowledge about the work being done. I would like to have them learn some things about what theyre doing.

    Your guys know what they’re doing, but they have no knowledge of what they’re doing, so you’d like to have them learn some things about what you just said they know. Preferably free of charge to you. And you advertise that state of affairs to the general public? Uh huh.

    Adores: 14
    • 2012 September 27

      He said more or less. Obviously it’s more less and less more.

      Adores: 5
    • 2012 September 27
      CapnMac permalink

      This is precisely where more state Licensing & Registration Boards ought have more obvious places to report this sort of behavior.

      It’s the little things, the itty-bitty things (oops, wandered off into Robert Keen there). Prime example is a 3-way switch.

      World’s simplest logical .OR. device. Ever.
      Screwed up 6 ways to Sunday, too. It’s a miracle any of them work, really.

      Diagrams just like this:
      Power ==> SW1 ==> SW2 —->Fixture–>(fixture, fixture, etc.)

      But, that is [whiney]complicated, so you see:
      Power==>SW1===>[fixture(s)]<===SW2<==Power

      This will work, but, too many also "know" you can go a wire size 'down' on the switch legs. They just forget that is only between the switches. Even better, the “hot” going into SW1 is on a different bus than on SW2. Meaning, one of the switch state conditions possible is 120VAC in plus 120VAC in–a tiny 220VAC welding circuit.

      So many little, finicky details, that you have to flat-out just know, and not just the once, but every single time you do them. And not just some guess from the boss handy person who may or may not have heard it from their cousin’s nephew’s sister’s uncle’s neighbor-boy who sat it on DIY network that one time.

      Adores: 2
  3. 2012 September 27
    Digitalaxis permalink

    “My guys know more or less what they’re doing but they [do not] have any knowledge about the work being done.”

    Well, I know I’m supposed to climb up this telephone pole… based on my last job I assume I’m supposed to shout “Do you want fries with that?” at passing motorists.

    Adores: 12
  4. 2012 September 27

    The catchall moniker of “Sparky” has never felt more appropriate.

    Adores: 22
    • 2012 September 27
      Limelolly permalink

      Remember folks, the sound of BZZT and a smell of charred meat is NOT a good thing when working on an electrical panel. Or anything electrical.

      Just my little PSA this morning.

      Adores: 9
      • 2012 September 27

        I have it on good authority that if you jam a Juicy Fruit gum wrapper into the socket of an old lamp and then turn it on you can make a loud sizzling noise and a big blue flash, but then that wall outlet won’t work anymore.

        Adores: 6
        • 2012 September 27

          Would this good authority be also called personal experience? 8)

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 September 27

          It is within the realm of possibility 😉

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 September 27

          *shakes ghostie vigourously*

          Well, now it says “Try Again”….not sure I’d go with that one.

          *shakes ghostie vigorously*

          “It’s Possible”…hmmm…..

          Adores: 6
        • 2012 September 27

          I feel dizzy…

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 September 27
          mud "static noise" slicker permalink

          Scissors in the wall outlet can cut your lifespan in half. That’s certified. *snip*

          Adores: 0
    • 2012 September 27

      You’ll notice the “Sparky” tag in use here.

      Adores: 3
  5. 2012 September 27
    Gary permalink

    “but I have to much on my hands”

    Would that be too much blood on your hands?

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 September 27

      I’m surprised he still has hands, if he learned what he knows the way he expects his employees to learn.

      Adores: 1
    • 2012 September 27
      KatyCat permalink

      No, the way that sentence comes off, “have to” goes together and “much” becomes a verb. He has to much. On his hands. I’m not sure how one muches, but I don’t really want to find out, either.

      Adores: 2
      • 2012 September 27

        Sparky should learn how to budget his muching time better so he doesn’t end up having to much too much all at once.

        Adores: 3
      • 2012 September 27
        Demon Duck of Doom permalink

        Maybe Sparky has to munch on his/her hands. Because of, you know, the tasty charred bits.

        Adores: 2
      • 2012 September 27

        I was brought up not to much on my hands. It’s unhygienic.

        Adores: 2
    • 2012 September 27
      CapnMac permalink

      Hey, it’s a lot of work ducking Immigration, the tax men, Building Inspectors, survivors/estates of your previous clients . . .
      Especially while also rounding up more “workers” who will work without licenses in dangerous jobs for $3-4 per day . . .

      Adores: 2
  6. 2012 September 27
    DigitalAxis permalink

    My father-in-law and brother-in-law are both certified electrical contractors, and they have an enormous number of certificates for a wide variety of tasks on the walls of their office. I couldn’t tell you how many, if any, are periodic recertifications, but the idea of this guy getting any work… wait, no. “We abuse our employees and pass the savings on to you.”

    Hey Sparky: Hire the electrician to do your work for you.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 September 27
      CapnMac permalink

      [yet another corey]
      In some fairness, several States, Texas among them, it is possible to be a licensed “Electrical Contractor” and not have any electrical skills or license.

      That person is allowed to pull permits, but, they must (in Texas at least) have a JM or Master Electrician actually do the work. (State law requires any work on line (e.g. 120VAC or above) voltage have a JM present, and actively supervising any other employees present; there’s pages of what constitutes “active supervision,” common practice is that it’s 1:4 JM to helpers.)

      I’ll just doubt right here and now that Sparky has even looked into licensing.
      And that the last ‘permit’ associated with Spark’ involved either a hall pass or automobile operation . . .
      [/corey]

      Adores: 0
  7. 2012 September 27

    Well hot damn! Here, somebody hold my beer while I go get these boys some learnin’ on this here line transfirmer.

    Adores: 9
    • 2012 September 27
      wanda permalink

      Jiggle the handle! Oh…is that my plumbing mastery? I so confuse the two.

      Adores: 5
  8. 2012 September 27
    camille permalink

    Does anyone besides me think that Boss Sparky would like to teach them himself but can’t because he doesn’t know anything either?

    Adores: 6
    • 2012 September 27

      What’s there to know? Anyone with a lick of sense can tell you that you just take the wire in the red insulation and the wire in the black insulation and AAAAAAAARRRGH! I meant to do that. Really. I have my reasons.

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 September 27

        I don’t think you’re supposed to lick the wires.

        Adores: 5
      • 2012 September 27

        Wow, I like the new do on the ferret!

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 September 27
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Sparky: single-handedly bringing back the punk and new wave hairstyles of the 70s and 80s.

          Adores: 4
  9. 2012 September 27
    DigitalAxis permalink

    Sparky’s School of Electricmagiggers Final Exam:

    When you hear the word “transformer”, you think of:
    a.) Autobots
    b.) AC/DC
    c.) Metallica
    d.) The Treaty of Versailles
    e.) Ohm’s law of Resistance
    f.) Ohm’s law of Buddhism
    g.) Man’s Inhumanity to Man

    Adores: 7
    • 2012 September 27

      h.) “More than meets the eye”

      Adores: 6
    • 2012 September 27
      DigitalAxis permalink

      i.) ASUS’s line of Android tablets with keyboards

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 September 27
        wanda permalink

        j.) profit

        Adores: 4
        • 2012 September 27
          One Moving Violation permalink

          k.) someone who used to be a trans…

          No, forget I said that.

          …porter. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 September 27
          mud "static noise" slicker permalink

          l.) Puppies.

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 September 27
          CraigsLister permalink

          m.) Transbeforers

          n.) Transafters

          Adores: 2
      • 2012 September 27
        Demon Duck of Doom permalink

        o.) Hot tranny mess

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 September 27
          funky "ass-noodles" monkey permalink

          p.) biscuits

          Heh heh. “P.”

          Adores: 0
    • 2012 September 27

      i. Decepticons!!

      Adores: 4
    • 2012 September 27

      I’m so happy it’s all been multiple choice this week. At least I have a chance of getting a passing grade.

      Adores: 2
  10. 2012 September 27
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    Dear Sparky,

    I’m a psychologist in need of some vict- er, volunteers for some advanced methods that, for some reason, my last three universities and certifying body have “frowned upon.” They’re just not as forward-thinking as you or I. I have extensive experience in the electrical area, particularly as it related to conductivity through non-metal and non-wood surfaces. Perhaps we could reach a mutually beneficial arrangement?

    Sincerely,
    S. Milgram, Jr.

    Adores: 9
    • 2012 September 27
      One Moving Violation permalink

      Electricity is fun, I’m your guy.

      Adores: 2
    • 2012 September 27
      Llama Derp permalink

      I cannot throw enough doors at you for that reference.

      Adores: 2
  11. 2012 September 27

    Dear Sparky,

    I’m sorry I cannot volunteer to teach your guys all about electricity. I’m already booked for the week, teaching monkeys how to do brain surgery. We are, however, looking for volunteers for them to practice on and I think you’d be perfect for the job. We cannot pay you, but we can arrange a nice room, complete with bed and very-nearly clean sheets that you may stay in until we yank the stent out.

    Please respond if you are interested.

    Surgically Yours,
    Xenia Recordia, Keeper of Figtail Feifings and;
    Brain Surgery-Thingy Instructor

    Adores: 7
    • 2012 September 27
      funky "ass-noodles" monkey permalink

      “monkeys how to do brain surgery”

      Ahem. I assume that was meant as a slam. I’ll have you know that if you put a thousand monkeys in a room with a thousand typewriters, we WILL be able to do successful brain surgery. Here, I’ll prove it:

      (1/50) × (1/50) × (1/50) × (1/50) × (1/50) × (1/50) = (1/50)6 = 1/15 625 000 000

      There. Argue with that, all you haters.

      Adores: 0
  12. 2012 September 27
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Come take note, my ‘lectric anecdote.
    It may cause some grinning.
    Let me quote my ‘lectric anecdote.
    I’ll start from the beginning.

    I worked on a horse ranch for a few years. One of my responsibilities was to check the several miles of electric fence on the property. We used electric tape rather than a bare wire so the horses could see it and avoid it. Since nobody knew where the tester was, I would test the fence by hand. I never could get anybody else to check it that way. I don’t understand why. It wasn’t lethal or anything. I’d just touch the fence and if it was working, I’d spasm. If it wasn’t working, I’d have to keep touching until I found where it was broken. (electric tape is a woven nylon tape with fine wires woven into it, so it was not easy to find where the break was.) I would generally tie a piece of jumper tape across the break to continue the circuit. For some reason, I found this part of my job enjoyable. Nothing wrong with a little shock therapy.

    Why are you looking at me like that?
    I’m not wired weird.

    Adores: 2
  13. 2012 September 27
    mud "static noise" slicker permalink

    LOOKING FOR A BRAIN SURGEON INSTRUCTOR
    ________________________________________
    We are looking for an instructor that knows everything about being a Brain Surgeon.

    If it was voluntarily it would be nice but if you require pay we can talk about how ridiculous that sounds it.

    I run a small Lemonade Stand/Bungee Jumping business. Sometimes there are accidents. I would like to teach them [my minions] myself but I have too much blood on my hands. My guys know more or less [there was this one time however…] what they’re doing but they are not certified to work on brains nor have any knowledge about the work being done regarding brains. Or lemonade. I would like to have them learn some things about what they’re doing wrong. If you can get them certified then that would be a miracle great.

    I have a small laboratory office in a castle warehouse or if you know where we can do some cranium cutting teaching then please let me know.

    CALL, TEXT, or email me. Victor. [If I’m not in, leave a message with Igor]
    Phone number is xxx xxx xxxx

    Adores: 4
  14. 2012 September 27
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    I would like to have them learn some things about what theyre doing.

    Don’t be silly. It’s always more interesting when the left brain doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.

    Adores: 3
  15. 2012 September 27
    Ralph permalink

    Forget all that damn code nonsense — all you have to do is tune for minimum smoke.

    Adores: 0
  16. 2012 September 28

    Irregular Fractal, Irregular Person, Irregular Humor and Snark,
    A day in the box, till you shot out the locks and wandered around in the park.
    Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Nikola!

    Adores: 0

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.