frog fountain
this fountain is original and unique hans made wnderful fountant relax and rery for plog in only adition water deliver free in the area de [badly misspelled location] and 20 millas aroun for more information callto ### ### ####
Hello! I am Hans! I have made this fountant for you! It is rery for plog!
Thanks, Ross!
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Aarrrrghhh!
Ribbet.
Arrh, me-jimbo, wha’s’at ye say, here?
Sail’t seven Seas, an’ twice thru Davey’s pond,
an’ ne’er I heard sich a pidgin.
Cou’ye try’t agin slow’r, an’ wi’all thos’ scallywag flies innit y’r mouth?
Frog Fountain Pirate is the name of my Jimmy Buffett cover band.
I was going to guess Toad the Wet Sprocket.
Ah, I loved that band.
[Corey] From “area de [location]” and “millas,” I’m guessing that this person’s native language is Spanish. [/Corey]
Arrhh! Yee’l be needin’ ohn ‘a ‘eese, ‘en: [obligatory Princess Bride Reference]
With twenty Millas around, Hans had to find something to occupy his mind and hands.
Franz will deliver it, and PUMP YOU UP THE ADITION WATER!
I don’t like the way (arrgh) that frog is looking at me (arrgh) with his one eye. (arrgh) It’s creeping me out. And why is Señor Sparky (arrgh) only willing to deliver the questionable-looking water (arrgh) and not the fountant? (arrgh)
It’s hard being a green pirate, eh?
Well, you know what Kermit always said.
Sigh……you started out with such promise, me Buck-o….
On the other hand this……
Provides an answer to the age old question – “Why is the rum always gone??”
Sarry aboo tha’ rum darrrlin’ by I war lockt inna box fo 2 day. Why dua smail lak lilarcs?
That explains where all these empty rum bottles filled with chicken bones came from.
SPARKY, WHY YOU NO SPEAK RITE?
‘Twere tha’ mos’ exc’llnt Bard, Cap’n Buffett told us it were being f’rm changes in lat’tudes ‘n’ att’tudes, an’ find’t chums wi’ bott’l’s ae rhum!
J’ss mor’ Gypsies f’rm t’ palace–and ’tain’t a bad t’ing, ‘less’n it be y’r own palace wha’ wer’ plunder’t.
[insert really slow–1/4 time–, soulful rendition of “Pirate Looks at Forty” performed in Mobile circa ’92; with Meyer’s Dark and a splash of coke]
I heard in a song that Davey Jones’ locker is off of Monkee Island. That’s where I’ll be sailing, matey! Uh. Bilge rats, and weigh anchor, and Land Ho!
[nautical corey]
When you anchor, you do so to a ratio, known as “scope” in the maritime trade. It’s best about 1:6 or 1:7. So, if you are anchored in 6 fathoms of water, you put out 42 fathoms of anchor line (aka “rode”).
In the days of sail, you heaved in the anchor line using a capstan (or windlass). As the sailors turned round, and round, all they had to pull against was the current or wind setting the ship to the end of the anchor rode.
That is, until they got to over the anchor and it broke free of the bottom. Then all the weight of the anchor was on the sailors to heave in.
As the sailors finished bringing up the anchor, the ship could get underway. Over the many years and many fluctuations of English as a written language, weigh and way have been swapped and mingled. Phonemes are like that. But, to set an anchor “away” is to loose it, so that it runs out on its rode. Aweighing anchor is the process of freeing a ship from its bonds to the seafloor.
[/corey]
Cap’n, you forgot something…
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
Wait? You have to have your water delivered and it’s only free to this area (and a 20 mile radius)? How rare is that to even see a fountain in these whereabouts? And what are frogs? We only know dirt.
Seems it would be easier to just move the double wide to where the water doesn’t have to be delivered.
Maybe the wheels fell off.
Oh honey, I think the wheels fell off that crazy train a loooooooong time ago.
Also, aaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
After staring at my keyboard trying to figure out the keys he hit wrong I think “rery for plog in” is probably ready to plug in. Allowing for grammar differences between languages, he comes relatively close to making sense. And, yes, I would probably be tempted to buy that fountain. Froggy needs a paint job to look a bit more realistic, but I think it’s cute.
::pats Rabbit on noggin’::
That’s right, matey, you keep telling yourself that Long John Sparky here is making sense.
Where’s the rum?
Hans is rery for plog in all the wrong places.
Frogger has a serious drooling problem.
Following this week’s Dramatic Reading By theme, can we get the Governator to narrate this sucker? Even better if we hop in the TARDIS and get Conan-era Ahnold.
IF – given today’s theme, can we just get Cap’n Jack Sparrow?
Och, iffin we’v’ arh way-back cont’rap’n, we’ll be need’t Robbie Newton, wha’ play’t LJS in the movie sae lang agae, an’ set the cours’ frae pirate-speak.
Ahr, lass’ be’t others frae voic’t this piratical, tae–Tony Hopkins an’ ‘is Cornish burr be’t one. Dennis Haysbert t’wa be’t guid, tae. Hae t’ wonder ‘ow Sean Connery, Steve Fry, or Simon Pegg mi’ read’t, too.
Please, oh please, tell me the frog’s name is Gretel. That would make my day.
‘Twa’ it not bein’ t’Froggit f’rm’rly kna’ a’ Prince?
No. ‘Twa’ no’.
Arrrh, ¶µþ then.
The frog’s name is Gretel.
You’re welcome.
I read this twice and my brain just keeps screaming, “NO!”
Talk Like a Pirate is brought to you by the letter Arrrr!
… and by the number twa.
Brought to you by Grog. Buy Grog when you feel like getting a buzz that lasts all day!
[pendant]
The numeral would be either “tuh” or “tway’ ” (twain).
The “twa” usage is the eliditation of the contraction of “it was [to be]” or “it were [to be].” The initial vowel is dropped, giving ’twas/’twere, then the last pseudo-syllable is then truncated and aspirated into merely “twa”.
Mind you, idiomatic usage is highly dependent upon context, so “twa” could also be the contraction of “toward/towards”.
There’s a bit of Burns’ (IIRC) which has “…tu wae nae tae ane be’t…twa hert nae scaud ae so rived…” ([the] two were not to be [as] one [ajoined] . . . ’twas heart never so [injured/scalded] [by that/such] splitting/rending…)
[/pendant]
Harggh! An’ jus’ ‘ow be’t t’ scruvy lubber Spark’ be say’n nought ahn the fate ae t’ wee grrreee’ plant, arh?
T’ bilge-rat’ll hoy water cross’t town, but nae ward t’ the wee weed . . .
Tha’s low; ’tain’t to T’ Code–ta t’ Plank!
The frog turned into a fountain.
The frog turned into a fountain.
The frog turned into a fountain.
To pee what he could pee.
To pee what he could pee.
To pee what he could pee.
hans made wnderful fountant
To pee what he could pee.
ghostcat makes us laugh and sing,
She freely shares the snark she brings.
I hope you aren’t out to lunch
When I give you this Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Fontainebleau!