YSaC, Vol. 1341: The kid is nowhere near the picture.
Happy Monday morning! Today, I bring you some long and crazy, just in case you didn’t get any of that over the weekend. (What?)
In Need Of Personal Manager/Agent In Entertainment
A personal manager. After being in touch mentoring and a other manager ect this year I have a complete vale of access. I just had a unforeseen tragedy that has set my self as a client in urgency. I’ve categorized my priority’s and have ideas even material ready to take on with others. And now plans that have been abruptly interrupted by tragic circumstances. In the past I’ve had a hard time communicating the importance and the impact that is involved with my career. But after consults and ideals of being a aisle celebrity; I still in need, am looking for a person to manage. I’m in need of possible law advice too but in mean time some quicker accounting. Right now what you see is what you get and in my eyes it’s everywhere (POTENTIAL) I’m proof reading my material which over the years has been not credited or even close to being paid for. Until now recently stepping forward in progression, (that) it has been in reverse or done backwards like. For example my involvement with Mandy Moore movies like Tangled and the Disney Channel. Or Neptune Spear The 8th Spear. Tributes charity ect. Or relative common industrial products that lay untouched or being founded on stay as is.
I need personal involvement so if your in a lot of clientele perhaps you can locate someone more willing to be involved with or joint my persona. KINDA SOUNDS LIKE JERRY MAGUIRE LOL! And as said before that’s kind of one particular interest. But this past year and before that I’ve needed at least a contract of a manager, the old hand shake and call me is going to have to be forgotten trusting as well as planning for long term as immediate now. I look to have interviews and personal relationship accesses addressed.
I just finished a album to overhear and establish. As a vocalist. As a overall musician undoing and focusing on simple basics like performance have to be yet accomplished. I’ve written a new book and need someone to address the personal issues with it. (SHES POPULAR) and still I’m waiting to step inside the story ideas I’ve came up with as a actor. Plus look to be accompanied by these things. I’m a out of the box idea thinker from my point of view I can be the best. In ideal placement I’ve regionally put myself at least to what is contracted. My past childhood and recent experiences have been pretty so say POPULAR. I’m still proof reading my 4 books that have been say STOLEN OF. Mentors previously this passing year know that. It’s a focus of hard placing of whats real or true. Deciding those and then venturing how they connect to the finale. That needs to be stated and established. I’m hoping to avoid legal issues and get a money contract deal type thing doing what I have and do best. I’m praying to make some real money at last maybe collect some debts and tributes owed to me and clear the air so to say about it all and get the celebrity exposure destined for me. Like before in the current array of distress I’m in for 7,8 figures and to now I have to build either over it or on going. I need a lot of management I have the talents and ethics and experiences over the last decade ready to make main stream. I just need to be focusing on that (The simple 1 to do & so on things I do) and avoid wasting my talents on legalities or connections especially living. I just need a manager agents ect to take on the things that take a way from my work. If your interested or want to get this going, please call me email me and we can hopefully God willing make some money do some great things and change things around for the better. In the short time get easy living expenses and plans for these long term things finished. I’m in it to win it. I work harder then anyone out there and have some things you’d die to know…
- Compensation: Adding Persona Of Client
There’s so much; let me just concentrate on a few key things:
I just finished a album to overhear and establish. As a vocalist.
Translation: I overheard someone singing in the shower while I was lying in their bushes stalking them.
As a overall musician undoing and focusing on simple basics like performance have to be yet accomplished.
Translation: I can’t actually play any instruments.
I’m a out of the box idea thinker from my point of view I can be the best.
Translation: … no, that’s pretty much accurate.
I just need to be focusing on that (The simple 1 to do & so on things I do) and avoid wasting my talents on legalities or connections especially living.
Oh, that pesky focusing on living. Having to remember to breathe in and out several times a day, and having to remember to exchange oxygen for carbon dioxide. It all gets in the way of what I really want to do, which is direct.
Thanks, Stephanie!
Wow. This is begging for a dramatic reading.
Shatner that.
Shatner’s been done. Let’s look up James Earl Jones.
Chris Walken gets my vote.
Gary Oldman circa “The Professional”. With the giggling, please.
Elmer Fudd!
How about Gary Busey? Provided he didn’t write this thing to begin with…
I heard Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock.
No, thanks. Enough drunks in bars have tried to give speeches like that to me.
And, usually this close to your face, right?
What is it about drunks and proximity? I’ve been around enough drunks to realize they’ve got a real problem with personal space rules…or, they’re just very, very nearsighted when impaired.
Synchronicity:
Was some discussion on spam and spam-filtering, and how the two are somewhat opposed forces. As is mete and apt, Turing Test gets discussed. Which then poses yet another question: “Is a Turing Test given by sparkii valid?”
This is no light and flippant question. If we allow the base lowest common denominator to be the bar to cross, then there are spambots more “intelligent” than some proportion of registered voters. Further, if the presumption becomes that the actually intelligent must act to protect the less-so, in how many things will we have to so act?
At what point do we expend more energy being the “smart” that sparkii are not to our detriment? Will we become the last sighted cave shrimp-Because We Are Not In A Cave?
Or, is it Musical career management for the lot of us?
But after consults and ideals of being a aisle celebrity… I’m in need of possible law advice too but in mean time some quicker accounting.
That’s right, Miss Aisle 4, canned goods/rice/international foods was caught giving out freebees to groupies again.
I’m proof reading my material which over the years has been not credited or even close to being paid for… I’ve written a new book and need someone to address the personal issues with it… I’m still proof reading my 4 books that have been say STOLEN OF…
I swear I wrote this manuscript for “Harry Potter” before it came out. NO ONE BELIEVES ME!
In ideal placement I’ve regionally put myself at least to what is contracted. My past childhood and recent experiences have been pretty so say POPULAR…. I have the talents and ethics and experiences over the last decade ready to make main stream.
So, your preparation for your career has been that you were a popular kid.
I’m praying to make some real money at last maybe collect some debts and tributes owed to me and clear the air so to say about it all and get the celebrity exposure destined for me.
Look, when I turned 18, no one showed up and informed me I was actually a prince and it was time to assume my rightful title. Sure, it was disappointing, but I’m doing just fine now. Let it go.
I need a lot of management
Also spellcheck, grammar, a copy of Strunk & White, a stern talking to, and a whack upside the head with a Clue stick.
Like before in the current array of distress I’m in for 7,8 figures and to now I have to build either over it or on going.
…and money management skills.
I just need to be focusing on that (The simple 1 to do & so on things I do) and avoid wasting my talents on legalities or connections especially living.
Uh, living is kind of important, too.
It’s a focus of hard placing of whats real or true.
Actually, let’s just start there.
Mentors previously this passing year know that.
Wait, plural? How many mentors have you had?
In the short time get easy living expenses and plans for these long term things finished.
…Quite a few.
and have some things you’d die to know…
Captain Crunch has no naval certifications!
Compensation: Adding Persona Of Client
I don’t know, it doesn’t sound house-trained. The other voices in my head might object.
Well joint my persona! I hadn’t a clue that Capn’ Crunch was a landlubber.
I think this boy has a few personas out of joint…
…most of which are female. Unless we’re talking about Captain Crunch. And even then, I can’t be sure.
Thanks. I haven’t even completely started my day and I already have a headache.
Same here. All this crazy makes my head hurt. I’ll be in the corner with some coffee slices. I’m sure one of us will go to the corner at one point and join me.
::grabs the migraine meds and pops two::
Coulda fooled me, Sparky.
C””J, please pass them around.
I used to be plagued by the use of the article “an” before the adjective “historic”. It just seemed incorrect as the “h” is pronounced.
After reading this, I will no longer question which article comes before which word. It’s an crapshoot. FWIW
What is more vexing is that “a/an” conflicts are no longer a “tell” for spambots.
Or for sparkii.
With my accent, I pronounce “an historic” more or less as “anih storic”, so I think that’s why it’s done that way. Western MA, represent!
That is a lot of crazy for a Monday. I’m gonna need to cut another slice off the ol’ coffee log and ruminate on this one for a bit.
Testes, testes, one, two.
Sorry, I couldn’t post this morning, wanted to see if I could again.
*ahem*
Snerk. “Log.” Heh heh.
What price we pay for being on the cusp of almost nearly breaking in to amateur performance media. Slog on, Sparky! You may be destined to die in obscurity, but at least you know what you know.
You may want to avoid the PCP next time you “joint your persona”, just sayin’.
I was going to suggest PVC glue instead, but that stuff has fumes.
Oh! He means “Isle celebrity”! So either he got voted off “Survivor”, or his Napoleon role-playing has taken a turn for the worse.
I’m a out of the box
Yeah, clearly. Let’s find your keeper and get you put back in.
I have a complete vale of access
Yes, there it is, I see it, right between your delusions of grandeur and your paranoia.
I’m hoping to avoid legal issues
I’m hoping so too, Sparkette, having seen some litigants very much like you spending entirely too much time seeking legal vindication.
DRMK & Dan,
Please, you have GOT to put me in touch with this person. They worked on “Neptune Spear The 8th Spear” and that is my favorite movie of all time!
Well, the first one anyway. The sequel, “Neptune Spear The 8th Spear 2: Neptune Spear The 9th Spear” stunk.
You’re a fan of NST8S too?!?!?!?! What are the odds?
It’s like if Willis Davidge never crashed on Fryine IV and became BFF to Jeriba Shigan but instead years later they met on the Cestus III outpost and instead of the Gorn and Kirk fighting it was Davidge and Shigan. However, they never got to make the turtle helmet house and on Cestus III they drank Coke instead of Pepsi and Sammis wasn’t born to either of them—he was adopted.
Holy Mickey Mouse!!!!
Many doors for the Alien Mine references, mudsy! It’s one of my favorite short stories, although I’m also fond of the movie.
She speaks with authority about Cestus III, too–make a person wonder if she’s from Pike City . . .
I’ve watched that movie so many times and cheer on my little benchmarks (like when he finds the soda can) . It’s one that translated well into a movie.
I’ve also loved Harlan Ellison’s A Boy and His Dog short story, but never warmed up to Don Johnson or the movie.
Ellison writes a compelling story.
He’s been quoted more than once saying he’d like to have a way-back machine to prevent the making of ABaHD (also has remarked that the producers spent too much hiring Jason Robards, too–HE being known for speaking his mind and all).
Would be interesting to get John Varley & HE in a room and see who thinks turned out less-well, ABaHD or Millenium . . .
My money would be on Ellison, the man’s made a second career out of being a hardass.
Strooth. Varley is younger by a decade, but more of a pacifist hippie than HE.
Varley would have the advantage of not having been married and divorced as often as HE, and is a heart attack ahead in the tale of the tape.
And, the record suggests that even if HE agreed with Varley that Millenium was a bigger stinker, he’d just sue JV for it.
And end up with half of the awards it didn’t win and a writer’s credit 🙂
Long and Crazy is the name of my (full-size) KISS cover band.
What just happened here?
It’s like ego and insanity exploded all over the place. I’m NOT cleaning that up!
Cleanup on aisle celebrity!
I ain’t doing it, you can’t make me! I cleaned up after the last Taco-splodey! Nope!
It’s One’s turn, I think. Of course, it’s nearly always One’s turn. 8)
Sigh
Ok, I’ll get the mop.
*wanders toward closet mumbling about funky taking credit last time he cleaned*
OMV: Here, you can borrow the hazmat suit!
I see spam-bots have graduated to writing CL ads now…
No kill spambot DREAM! Spambot DREAM of glory and. success at low low prices with no money down! Act now! but cannot deny what is.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!
You will be Advertized To!
Facil-i-tate!
Facil-i-tate!
REDJAC!!! REDJAC!!! REDJAC!!!!
REDRUM!! REDRUM!! REDRUM!!
:checks bottle:
Looks kinda brownish to me.
[spambot corey]
Flinging ad copy at CL is a subtle way of spreading spam to the gullible.
With a fillip of there’s no obvious attachment to warn about.
But, if a, well, [person] clicks the email reply, bingo, valid address and potential mark on Line One.
All a [person] needs is some saw horses, some planks or plywood, a generator, and beater computers (note, a working 386 computer with dial-up modem, is all that is needed). As spam machines they are set up to spit out 1-2 email per second. There are 86,400 seconds in a day. Spam “hits” pay off about 1 per 15-20 thousand. Twenty computers each at 1 per second are generating 1.728 million spam per day, which can net 40-80 “hits” per day per table.
Let’s say we want to create a list of 1200 valid email addresses. At a success rate of 60 per day per table, that’s 20 days for one table’s worth. Or, 2 days for ten tables.
Overhead costs in much of SE Asia are not over-high. Only about 36KWH to run 20 computers; usually the limitation is the power supplying the internet uplink.
The people writing the ‘bot code are getting better at using diction-based language filters, too. Also, in writing, and vetting a given script, then mass-loading it on multiple machines.
The metrics on this sort of stuff compound in a scary way.
[/corey]
Plus look to be accompanied by these things.
I would go to great lengths to avoid being accompanied by any of this.
I had to stop reading this after the first paragraph. I have no idea what this dude is saying. I’m just certain it was written in his mom’s basement and he didn’t use his hands. There, it’s leading to the corner now. NMN is no longer lonely!
Hmm.
That could scan as:
“I have a complete dell of access” or “I have a complete valley of access”–sounds like somebody’s fence needs mending.
Now, it could ‘spos’ta read “complete veil of access” meaning the doors are all covered by that man behind the curtain.
Possibly, it’s a very bad concatenation of “My complete access ski pass to all of Vale is hidden/lost/rescinded.”
But, I’m going to just presume that the correct transliteration is salmon paté with 3e(**i) feather toys, and a belly rub.
I totally went with the ski pass when I first read it. I even put on my Ugg boots.
“stepping forward in progression, (that) it has been in reverse or done backwards like.”
Oh, I know that dance.
Every time I read this, my mind goes blank. I still do not know what the ad says or states or is trying to buy or se • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ☼
☼ ● ● ● ● ● ● ● Dang, I hate having to reboot. My wall has a dent in it now. Now where was I?
Oh yes, I remember.
Every time I read this, my mind goes blank. I still do not know what the ad says, • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ☼
☼ ● ● ● ● ● ● ● YARRGH! I’m sorry, I think I picked up a virus or mal-ware while readi• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ☼
☼ ● ● ● ● ● ● ● Quick! Somebody needs to dele• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ☼
“…I have the talents and ethics and experiences over the last decade ready to make main stream.” So it took Sparky ten years to get potty trained?
Wall of text is wall, and my reading comprehension is impaired by cough syrup right now. I didn’t even get through the first paragraph. Can anyone sum up, or is it all gibberish?
* puts on Hazmat suit*
*grabs bucket, mop, and sponge shaped like doggie bone*
* grabs ladder, starts scrubbing on ceiling*
♫ I’ve been working on the snark lounge all the live long day.
♫ I’ve been working on the snark lounge, cuz of Sparky’s ad today.
♫ Can’t you hear the sponge a squishing, scrubbing up the cluelessness?
♫ Can’t you here the snarkers moaning of this total mess?
♫ I just want to go.
♫ I just want to go.
♫ I just want to go on ho-oh-ome.
♫ I just want to go.
♫ I just want to go.
♫ I just want to go on home.
♫ Somethin’s been a splattin’ on the walls.
♫ Somethin’s been a splattin’ on ceiling fa-ans.
♫ Somethin’s been a splattin’ on the walls.
♫ A messin’ with all my plans.
♫ I’m singing, “Me, oh, me oh my!
♫ I’ve gotta scrub-it-all, don’t know why-iy”
♫ “Me, oh, me oh my!”
♫ “Scrub it ’til it goes bye-bye.
*puts ladder away*
*fills bucket with clean soapy water*
*brandishes mop with an air of confidence*
*puts on some music*
Yes, the music calms me.
‘Cause I can’t go home right now,
Seeing the floors this icky,
Makes me want to have a cow.
Just a few more hours,
And I’ll get rid of this goo.
Yes it’ll smell like flowers
Instead of not.a.clue.
(Instead of not.a.clue.)
This place seems so empty.
From the box o’er to the door.
The confusion no longer upsets me.
For soon there’ll be no more.
Yes I heard them calling.
For a janitory man.
Yes I can do it Dahling.
I can.
Oh, One. Oh Moving. Oh Violation.
Could not clean with anyone.
He washed the dishes and scrubbed the pans.
He wiped the counters and dusted the fans.
And though he’d get offers to help get it done.
He simply would not clean with anyone.
And so he cleaned into the evening.
Wiping down the chairs with feeling.
Soaking up the puppy drools.
Scraping gum from ‘neath the stools.
Washed the writing off the walls.
He brushed the lint off tennis balls.
Made the doorknobs look like new.
He even picked up monkey poo.
Vacuumed feathers, fur and hair.
Washed some jingly underwear.
Rinsed the fountain full of cheese.
Dusted the truck and all the bees.
Scraped off the used to be melted butter.
And threw it out into the gutter.
Wiped down the bar inside the box.
Quietly though, because of the fox.
He kept on cleaning through the night.
He took a break and had a bite.
And then he cleaned the coffee slicer.
Arranged the shelves so they looked nicer.
Swept coffee grounds out of the oven.
Moved the couch. (Some heavy Shovin’)
Picked up coins some paper clips,
Seedless grapes, tortilla chips,
Plato cans with tiny toys,
Finger paintings done by boys,
wooden leg, granny’s teeth,
A bloody pig was found beneath.
Wher did all this stuff come from.
The pile of stuff was quite a sum.
But then he saw the corner next.
To clean that place would have him vexed.
He cast his eyes upon the floor.
Maybe he could do no more.
Coffee slices lined the wall.
Someone stacked them really tall.
Should they go or should they stay?
He didn’t know to his dismay.
Was it a project by his friends?
Should he remove the coffee ends?
Some were old and dried and cracked.
Most of those unstably stacked.
He crept up to this odd display.
Touched it then he turned away.
Behind him then he heard a rumble.
The slices there began to tumble.
The coffee knocked him down and prone.
The weight of slices made him groan.
Then he found out much too late.
Coffee slices were just bait.
A trap! He could just not relate.
Or even try to speculate.
Did someone try to seal his fate?
So children remember old foolish One.
Don’t be proud, just ask someone.
Way to take one for the team, OMV. 🙂
Brer Fox! In the Box! No one unlocks the box! Sorry to keep you waiting all day. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good, uh, day, Captain Crunch!
This has Google Translate written all over it… now I’m curious as to what some of the stranger mistranslations were supposed to say. “I have a complete vale of access”?