FREE ANIMAL GIME IT
NO CAT OR DOG GIME UR FREE ANIMAL
Part of me REALLY wants to take this guy up on his demand. The trick is deciding exactly what would be the most unpleasant way to do so. Coelacanth in the bathtub? Cassowary on the porch? Honey Badger in the fridge? So many possibilities… Good thing we have a comments section!
Thanks for the post, Stephanie!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
| WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition. […] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at… | |
| 2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all! […] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […] | |
 | bianchisound on YSaC, Vol CXCII In case anyone ever checks. I just saw this ad and missed everyone here. Enjoy! https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/pho/d/nellis-afb-womans-feet/7164431024.html |
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| Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring. I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere… |
Cool. Now I know how to get rid of that dead skunk.
I passed a couple of former raccoons this morning that I could add to the bag.
Wait! Isn’t Former Raccoons IF’s something-something tribute band?
Still…might work….
I think that could be a The Artist Formerly Know As Prince / Squirrel Nut Zippers mash up.
Snerk. “Nut Zippers.”
“former racoons” = Made me giggle.
So that flattened fluffy thing at the crossroads this morning was a “retired squirrel”?
I’ve got something to add to the bag, a UFO* crashed landed on a BBQ in my backyard the other day. Poor little bugger of a squirrel.
*Unfortunate Furry Object.
I can just imaging all of us showing up on the doorstep of Sparky’s singlewide with a great big burlap sack, like some hellish version of Santa Claus.
::digs through Christmas decorations::
Ah..here it is!
::places Santa Cap on head::
Festive!
The Eyebrows household has a very special Santa hat. When you flip a hidden switch, the tassle rotates slowly back and forth and about the head. The elder male of the Eyebrows clan wears the hat during Christmas dinner. Papa Eyebrows carried on the tradition for many years, and now, with his passing, the honor has been handed down to Mr. Eyebrows.
We roll with a serious side at Christmas…
Jingle Bells, this bag smells,
You should proof your ads.
Sparky’s such an
Ass – noo- dle
It makes me
Very mad!
PS: I’m having too much fun out of “ass-noodle”. It’s made me giggle for a full 24 hours now.
Was “ass-noodle” from yesterday and I missed it?
Pet Rock?
Animal, from the Muppets?
e. Coli? (it’s not a PLANT…)
Madagascar hissing cockroach?
Vermicious Knid?
I vote vermicious knid. With rabid ferret a close second.
What if he doesn’t have an elevator?
I have a pet tapeworm that needs to be rehomed. You’ll never have to buy bedding or kibble again.
There is a certain justice in the way a tapeworm would be “re-homed” . . .
Capn…I heart you…and you scare me.
I know. It reminded me of the ass-noodles from yesterday.
PS: Ass Noodles of Yesterday might be a cool band name. Maybe. Or maybe not. Ew.
Looks like we have a bad infection of ass noodles in the Snark Lounge. Hope they come up with a vaccine soon.
I like the name so much I’m going to name the “name” part of my name that name.
It’s even better without the quotes!
I was thinking more along the lines of a show, similar to VH1’s Where are they now…
I think MC Hammer would be a shoe-in…
“a bad infection of ass noodles ”
Would a doctor prescribe pills or a pair of tweezers to cure that?
Suppositories…
Agreed. There are times when even with a head tilt and an eye squint, I don’t understand Capn at all.
And then there are times when I understand him all too clearly. Doors to you, Capn.
Yes, the Cap’n FTW.
I heart ye too!
Ah, the reasoned, calm, considerate, expressions of need of the 3 year-old.
Would that such be limited to only those so aged.
Hey, that logic got Sparky a lot of lunch money in high school!
Looks like we finally found a taker for that truck full of free bees!
THAT!!!!
“Vermicious Knid?”
A misspell of ‘venomous kid’?
Cause that would seem appropriate too.
Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermicious_knid#Vermicious_Knids
I have a catulator that would just love to meet this guy.
Even though he specifies ‘no cats’, I’ll put Bugsy the Insane in a box and tape it shut – marking it “Not.A.Cat” on the outside, of course. He ought to be wound up tighter than an eight-day clock when Sparky opens it.
I predict one less Darwin Award nominee in the gene pool by nightfall.
Bugsy’s really more like an oddly-shaped honey badger than a cat.
Boy, ain’t that the truth!
Badger? BADGER?! We don’t need no stinking badgers!
“They TUK ER JERBS!”
Oh, yeah! We could send Sparky the Mexican staring frog of Sri Lanka!
Jimbo: “Look out Ned! It’s coming right for us!”
::dials telephone…yes, dials…::
Hello, is this Imhotep?
Imho, baby, have I got a deal for you!
Remember all those nasty scarab beetles those jokesters dumped in your tomb?
Well, there’s a gentleman very interested in taking them off your hands.
Hmm? What will he pay?
He’ll pay with his bodily fluids, internal organs, you know, the usual stuff.
You will? That’s fantastic!
Tell you what, I’ll tell him to meet you at the Cairo Museum at midnight tonight.
Thanks, booby! You’re the best. See ya ’round the pyramids!
Yours Eternally,
Anck Su Namun
I’ve been waiting for an ad like this forever! My basement has a few centipedes I’d love to hand over.
See, I immediately went the other direction (and my apologies to Harry):
the food arrived just the other day
it came to the house in the usual way
there was a tip to give, and
paper plates, came from a wok just a mile away
it was good but don’t ya know it, before twas through
we found cat meat through and through, man
there was cat meat through and through
there was cat in the ladle, at the Hong Kong spoon
delicate essen from here to Rangoon
have you tried a cat yet? in now now when?
and we’ll taste it better then, man
we know we’ll eat a big cat then
had taco bell just the other day
the kfc rats had all ran away
it was good and moist, and brown and nice
it tasted better than the animal that eats mice
and as I chewed away, the taste never thinned, it said
I’m gonna love cat too, yeah, some rat meat and cat meat too
there was cat in the ladle, at the Hong Kong spoon
delicate essen from here to Rangoon
have you tried a cat yet? in now now when?
and we’ll taste it better then, man
we know we’ll eat a big cat then
well I had some porridge just the other day
tsted like ca I just had to say
HUN? i’m asking you, is there cat in this pile?
she nodded then she said with a smile
what I’m really like now is to make all your cats food
there is less of them in that big brood
there was cat in the ladle, at the Hong Kong spoon
delicate essen from here to Rangoon
have you tried a cat yet? in now now when?
and we’ll taste it better then, man
we know we’ll eat a big cat then
I no longer care if the hair’s cut away
i eat it up as I chew away
I thought I like to eat this, I just don’t mind,
I try every meat of the animal kind
you see, there’s mad cow in cattle, and the avian flu
but it’s sure nice the meat with no “moo” bads
it’s sure nice to eat no “moo”
and as I picked up the phone for delivery
I’ll order more white meat
cat is the new white meat
there was cat in the ladle, at the Hong Kong spoon
delicate essen from here to Rangoon
have you tried a cat yet? in now now when?
and we’ll taste it better then, man
we know we’ll eat a big cat then
*covers Zeus’ ears*
B Side of record: Cat Stevens sings Was Dog in My Doughnut?
[boring GIME corey]
Lifted from net:
gime, Spanish verb (infinitive gemir) [transl. “moans”]
Informal second-person singular (tú) affirmative imperative form of gemir.
Formal second-person singular (usted) present indicative form of gemir.
Third-person singular (él, ella, also used with usted?) present indicative form of gemir.
also
GIME, Gender in media education
Neither are very helpful in translating our would-be Dr
Moreauer-Moron-o.[/corey]
Oh gime a break!
Dr Moron-o, love it!
Gime your tern, your porpoise, your two-toed tree sloth yearning to breathe, free.
Don’t have a cow, man.
Show off 🙂
Now that I’ve worked 10 hours, drive 40 minutes home, had a few beers and re-read Sparky’s ad, I’ve had a disturbing thought:
He doesn’t want cats or dogs, but beyond that he doesn’t sound picky. He’s doing something not ASPCA approved to critters, isn’t he? And he wants to add to his inventory.
Oh Lordy. I have to go hug my kitties.
I arrive this late, and no one offered a mine hors?
Kids these days.
I think we passed those all out yesterday.
Is it just me or does that cassowary look….special?
Yes, but that’s how all cassowary look.
FM and DDD, here’s to your initial day in the box! Get it? Ha! I crack myself up. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Ponderosa!