YSaC, Vol. 1334: I’m a model, you know what I mean?
Keep in mind, this ad was posted in “Casual Encounters” …
looking for a girl to do couple shoot – m4w – 23
Looking for a girl, or girls that want to do a photo shoot. Their is a few things that I will need to know so answer questions in your return.
1. Must not be shy, out going, and fun.
2. Must be willing to so underwear shits, if you want topless, or nudes. We can see What we want to do.
3. Must have sexy underwear, no ratty shit.
4. Must have a car.
5. Swim where is a plus.OK so that is out of the way I will tell you What I am looking for. You don’t have tl be super skinny, or tall. We are looking for someone that would like to do some model shots. I am a real model, and their K’s a professional photographer. So we want to take some pictures while I am home to keep me sharp, and give a girl, or some girls a chance to worm with model.
Age don’t really matter. Weight is not either. Hoping for good looking girls but are open for anyone putt in a email.
Put (photo shoot) in the subject line, Must have pictures, and answer the question above.
Also color, and race dose not matter.
I’m putting the pictures behind a cut because they’re … well … remember how Google thought we were a porn site because we mentioned the word “panties” in a post? Yeah, that was nothin’ compared to the pictures accompanying this post. This might not be safe for work. Or anywhere. Or anyone. Really.
I warned you.
Okay. There’s a lot going on here. Let’s break it down, shall we? (And no, not in the dubstep WUBWUBWUBWUBWUB way of breaking things down. I’m going to break it down old school.)
Looking for a girl, or girls that want to do a photo shoot. Their is a few things that I will need to know so answer questions in your return.
1. Must not be shy, out going, and fun.
Oddly, that’s actually a pretty good description of me. I’m shy, but I’m an extroverted introvert, and I think I’m pretty fun. But apparently I’m not what they’re looking for. Also, this isn’t a question.
2. Must be willing to so underwear shits, if you want topless, or nudes. We can see What we want to do.
Um. Also, still not a question.
3. Must have sexy underwear, no ratty shit.
Doesn’t this directly conflict with #2? Also, still not a question.
4. Must have a car.
5. Swim where is a plus.
Say it with me, folks: still not a question. More of an imperative. And it’s nice that he’ll let me going swimming where. It sounds like he’d even encourage me.
OK so that is out of the way I will tell you What I am looking for.
So the above stuff has nothing to do with what you’re looking for? Then why did I have to answer your non-questions?
You don’t have tl be super skinny, or tall. We are looking for someone that would like to do some model shots. I am a real model, and their K’s a professional photographer. So we want to take some pictures while I am home to keep me sharp, and give a girl, or some girls a chance to worm with model.
To worm with model? Is this some kind of new euphemism I should know about? Is this what has taken over for hi dusting? I have such trouble keeping up with the kids these days.
Age don’t really matter. Weight is not either. Hoping for good looking girls but are open for anyone putt in a email.
Hooray! We’re going to play miniature golf via email! This is new.
Put (photo shoot) in the subject line, Must have pictures, and answer the question above.
Um. What question?
Also color, and race dose not matter.
I think the color dose really does matter. Otherwise you could end up looking like this:
I think she’s been dosed with a bit too much color.
Our mystery phone number submitter strikes again! I think we’re going to have start a tag for 318 soon!
I hate to complain about those pics, but why does the guy have a really tanned body with such a pale face? And why does the typo “worm with a model” worry me more than most of the others? Sparky must have skipped grammar school in favor of modeling school.
“I didn’t make it all the way through third grade for nothing.”
–McLeach
Oh god I love that movie!! We watched that repeatedly when my sisters and I were kids.
Just ’cause Bubba just discovered Craigslist is no reason to start hatin’…
“Stupid is as stupid does.”
–Forrest Gump
I think “underwear shits” is the one that bothers me the most…
I’m really hoping the undies in pic two were of the striped variety before he put them on.
In the navy,
I don’t care about color or race,
In the navy,
‘Cause I’ll just Photoshop your face.
A-hoy and oh so many a-doors to Dave. I woke with a migraine, but now have a migraine and the giggles.
Makes much more sense as:
M4W – 23 คู่มองหาผู้หญิงที่จะทำบันทึก
สารปนเปื้อนในแบบที่คุณต้องการค้นหาบริสุทธิ์หนุ่ม สิ่งที่คุณจำเป็นต้องรู้บางสิ่งที่ฉันจะตอบคำถามของคุณ
ย้ายออกผมไม่อายมาจากพื้นดิน
ที่สอง ดังนั้นถ้าคุณเป็นเปลือยไททิ้งโดยไม่มีการป้องกันหรือชุดชั้นในเพื่อทำบันทึก สิ่งที่เราต้องการจะทำ
ที่สาม ควรชุดชั้นในเซ็กซี่ครับ Nonezumi
4 ผมจำเป็นต้องใช้รถ
ถ้าเป็นโวลต์ เกิด
ดังนั้นผมจึงต้องการที่จะรู้ว่าสิ่งที่ฉันทำตกลง TL ไม่มีลึกหรือซุปเปอร์บาง ถ้าคุณต้องการที่จะตั้งตัวอย่างเช่นฉันกำลังมองหาจรวด K คือภาพของฉันและเป็นมืออาชีพ แต่รูปแบบเรียลไทม์ ลูกสาวของฉันฉันต้องการจะได้รับอนุญาตในรูปแบบของเวิร์มและความกระตือรือร้นที่จะได้รับการบ้านของคุณเพื่อให้
อายุไม่ได้เรื่องจริงๆ แน่นอนแรงโน้มถ่วง ฉันไม่คาดหวังมองหาสาวดีก็เปิดให้ทุกคนใน e-mail แพ็ต
วางบนเส้น (ถ่ายภาพ) ตารางของจุดที่จำเป็น
มีปริมาณของสีการแข่งขันไม่เป็นปัญหา
You just have to know to translate the CL copy into Cmryu, then Nihongo, then Suomi, then Magyar, before going to Siamese. Obvious.
Who is “their K’s”? Is this a twist of the royal “we” or something?
No, but they are Special K’s.
Maybe he wants to pay you in cereal.
Maybe he wants you to use them to cover up your naughty bits.
Maybe it’s a “you fem-ism”.
Maybe it’s Maybelline.
Maybe it’s the way you love me all the time.
Maybe it’s the Fratellis.
Maybe it’s the devil inside us.
Maybe it’s more than a feeling.
Maybe it’s the economy stupid.
Maybe it’s the power trying to come back on.
Maybe it’s the end of the world as we know it.
Maybe IF is right. (see below) Hey! Eyes up here buster!
Maybe he wants to be an organ doner.
Maybe I should just go to the corner. Does anyone have kibble?
Come on baby, don’t say maybe. I gotta know if your sweet snark is gonna save me.
Maybe he’s a Kardashian incognito…
Maybe it was Memphis.
Could it have been a “Southern Sunday Night”?
Why is Sparky even telling us what their K is? His K is more likely a kreep and a krackpot.
I don’t want to see pictures with “underwear shits” in them.
Whatever floats your boat. I mean, I’m not one to judge, but…
…oh, wait. Yes I am. And yeah, I don’t want to see those pictures either.
Yeah, I didn’t look. The grammar of the ad was all the horror I could handle for today. Plus you know darn well they’re just random pics he found on Google images to lure chicks dumb enough to respond to this ad to his basement. The very creepy basement with the steel reinforced door.
Me neither, but I suppose that’s the only way to find out if the model needs worming.
Have a door. Have another.
Duck! Oh Lordy! There was no reason for that!
Oh, the picture that’s put in my head! I can’t unsee it!
Yeah, and last night’s CME answer was a beef tapeworm.
At least with T. saginata, all you need is a dose of praziquantel–no need to whip the caduceus out, like for D. medinensis.
Aw, it was just for shits and giggles.
I…umm…I can’t even….
*fights urge to vomit*
Wow..that was close.
I’m glad someone could keep breakfast down. Blleeeaarrgghh. Gangway indeed.
Don’t go their, girlfreind! *Ow.*
I’m an underwhere model and I worm with the best! *OW!*
So if you know anyone who wares swimsuits, putt them in touch with me! *ARRGH!*
What dose that mea *SNAP! CRUNCH! AAAIIIEEE!!*
Huth. My fingers sdrjust wove themswselves intoe a Goyrdian Knot.
In unrftelated news, my keydboard tastes fughnny.
Dang it… my EYES… they are scarred!
Wrong, Said IF.
Sure Happy It’s — sorry, can’t even go there! I’m going to work where I won’t be able to open YSaC all day.
Translation:
I’m an unattractive person who wants to take pictures of you in your underwear in the guise of having a model shoot. I will definitely be requesting that you get naked. I live in my parents basement and don’t have a car, so you’ll have to drive over.
Yeah, and people were all outraged over Jason Biggs’ tweets.
But I am open for anyone putt. I LOVE miniature golf!
Uh-huh, me too. I even have a miniature putter. (Maybe)
Yeah, and I have a green, baby!
Corner bound!
Green huh? Are you an anime chick?
*heads to corner to help bind funky monkey*
Degenerate!
FORE!
“Oh look! A hole in one!”
This ad left me with three questions:
1) Onion.
2) Books are nice.
3) Don’t forget to change smoke alarm batteries.
4) More onions.
“1) Onion.”
a. What should I not substitute for a baseball?
“2) Books are nice.”
b. What was the last thing I said when my conscience had a book aimed at my head?
“3) Don’t forget to change smoke alarm batteries.”
c. What shall we do for my birthday?
“4) More onions.”
d. What should I eat before a hot date?
1) 42
2) 42
3) 42
4) Profit!
1. Must not be shy, out going, and fun.
A. What is an anime babe?
2. Must be willing to so underwear shits, if you want topless, or nudes. We can see What we want to do.
A. What is a fetish?
3. Must have sexy underwear, no ratty shit.
A. Do you know anything about rats?
4. Must have a car.
A. Here’s a Hotwheels™. May I suggest where to stick it?
5. Swim where is a plus.
A. Perhaps in the East River? I’m sure nobody will
findbother you there.Actually, no. 2 should be…What?!
*opens cupholder on laptop*
*pours in grade A birdseed*
*e-mails birdseed to Mama Windy*
I would offer my “laptop” to set yourself upon, but I know you prefer birdseed.
Mmm, the good stuff with the fruity pebbles! Thanks, One!
You made me snort I was laughing so hard!
Because I am currently under house arrest. One more question: must be willing to do kinky shots with ankle bracelet.
I have just the thing! A pecil sharpener!!!
Ouch. Just…no. Please, no.
Swim where is a plus. Swim why is a question.
…and I have all of the negatives.
All the better to blackmail with…
Oh I never even thought of blackmail….maybe this is just an innocent money making scheme* and not some creeper looking for his next victim-I MEAN date.
*Felonies are what the cool kids are doing these days
No this is definately a creeper looking for a victim. Go look at those pictures again. Maybe you forgot.
I didn’t look. I like my stomach contents where they currently are. That and I’m not a brave person.
Well, take my word for it. You aren’t missing anything good.
I JUST got that song out of my head from my boss’s wedding beginning of August where my hubby and I got her two sons to dance on the bar to it. Now it’s back. Hooray.
I’m going to go ahead and admit that my first thought before the jump was:
Hey! Ryan Lochte’s using Craigslist to promote his modeling career!
Then I clicked the jump and my eyes started to bleed.
Then I read the comments and I was healed.
But that still doesn’t explain why Lochte’s on Craigslist.
Ralph, it’s Friday, and we are all models of snark. Punchity punch punch!
Good Morning, Catwalk!
My hed is pasted on yay!