YSaC, Vol. 1328: Math is Hard
A few more from the “Bad Math” department:
Televisions, Low Price! – $50 (Pick up)
Don’t have enough for those fancy HD Flat screen Tvs?
Just moving out on your own or looking to add a tv to your room?
Look no further – Great Deals.
27 Inch JCV Flat screen Tv – 30 bucks
26 Inch Sharp Bubble Tv – 15 bucks
Both for 50!
Cant get no better then that. Please text for more info
Actually, Sparky, I suspect it CAN get better than that. Just a guess. For example, it would be better if I weren’t paying you $5 extra for the privilege of taking both television.
Still, I might need a TV with as flat a screen as possible if I move into this place:
$1805 / 2br – 2ft² – Water Front Living With Balcony
RENT IT THIS WEEKEND AND GET IT FOR THE LOW RENT OF 1800 YOU SEEN IT RIGHT 1800
WOW!!!!! Live Like Your on Vacation Everyday.
Make This Your New Home. This Gourgeous Water Front 2 bdrm 2 Bath with Laundry Room is Ready for you to Move into.
This Condo is situated in a Private Gated Community and Boast Water Views From Front & Back of The House.
Owner has Parking Available on Grounds.
Easy Commute To #########
For Viewing Contact Manny @ ###-###-#### Thank You And Have A Wonderful Day…
Fun fact – the president of the Federated States of Micronesia is named “Manny.” I’m not saying that’s where this is from, but that is a country small enough that the chief executive might be showing apartments with the approximate square footage of a microwave oven.
Once you’ve moved into your new place, how about a pet?
free kittens
totaly free have i tink 8 or 7 left
They are squirmy, those kittens. Hard to count. Tell you what – I’ll take three and a half.
Thanks, Rick, Johanna, and Ted! And don’t forget – “Cat Math” mousepads are still available!
Thirty buck tv?
Just ignore where the screws that used to afix it to the Days Inn were ripped out . . .
Y’know, my respect for a real-estate person is directly proportional to their demonstrated understanding of the differences between the contraction “you’re” and the possessive “your.” It’s the sort of subtle distinction necessary when advertising to let $1800 (or $1805) breach condos with two bedrooms but only a 2 foot square hole in the ground and a bath room. For nearly two thousand, the bathing facilities ought to be more than a bucket and a shovel.
Wait, kittens?
Perhaps it’s a Kitty-condo! 1800 salmon treats and a 2ft² litter box–woohoo!
Only partially infested with bedbugs.
Thank you, Mr. Taco, sir. I’m packing up the man and the bambinos and going to NYC for a few days. Let’s not invoke the ghastly thought of bedbugs. We aren’t exactly staying at the Ritz.
Anyone have a blacklight, luminol, and de-louser I can use?
Can I just take the non-infested half? I’ll pay you $5 extra.
I know!!!!!! How hard is it to know when to use “your” and “you’re”?! Are you talking about someone else’s possession? Then use “your”. Are you talking about something a person is or is doing? Then use “you’re”. Not. Hard. Oh and hearing someone say “I seen” makes my teeth itch!
I seen it done all the time.
*scratches teeth frantically* Acckk!!
Hehe. Hahahaha. Hehehahahaha.
Mwahahahahahehe *cough cough splutter*.
Ahem. As you were.
There, their, they’re. Yore welcome.
What exactly is “Boast Water?” And why would I want to view it?
In my experience, any drink containing vodka.
Oh, like “breakfast.” I see.
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.
(aw, Ghostie beats me to the punch. Your a comedic quick-draw, chickie!)
I don’t mean to be a jerk, or “that guy,” but on the site that makes fun of grammatical errors, I feel the need the point out that it’s “you’re.”
I also feel the need the speak more intelligently than I really am. I apologize.
EDIT: I now notice the italicization. I am not really all that smart. Again, I apologize.
“…Boat drinks/The boys in the band want Boat Drinks/…”
Is the Jimmy Buffett version.
Now, I’m lonely for a chum with a bottle’a’rum and being lazy on St Somewhere. Sadly, my GPS does not include coordinated for Desdemona’s Spaceport and bar <sigh>*
(few times as crazy-slow/annoyingly-long as the run-up to a holiday weekend–all the worse for the present illusion that I am caught up, too.)
______________________________________________
*Apologies to Bubba for mixing lyrics from three different albums
The boast water is what makes the place seem large enough to set foot in. I had my bathroom hooked up to it, and I can now swim laps in my tub.
But are the TV’s Gourgeous? Otherwise the non-HD versions are easy to find on the “free” section of craigslist, since few people want them and it costs money to dispose of them as hazwaste.
Manny Seems To Have A Problem With Capitalization As Well As Math And Spelling; Maybe He Needs To Shout To Be Heard Over The Sound Of The Water And The Boasting Condo.
I’m only interested in right kittens; the left ones don’t adapt to the plumbing as well.
Ralph, I’m going to cry.
I AM crying, at my desk.
Someone tell me that’s a joke, they don’t really do that to kitties.
Okay, it IS a joke. Oh sweet jeebus, I’m still crying.
In the last 6 weeks, I’ve had only 2 days off. I don’t mean 2 days off during the week, 2 days off period. Been working 6 and 7 day weeks. I find I don’t have much of a sense of humor at home, either. And this morning I forgot that we had Mini Monkey this week and I had to leave the house at 6:00 instead of 6:30 to get her to school on time. Been a bad morning.
I should have known that was a joke. Wow. I’m tired.
It’s “art”, monkey.
Art, shmart. I’m still leaking a little. Sheesh.
I think they need to up my meds.
Thanks for the warning, Monkey. Looks like it’s blue moon days all around. I just spent a half hour with a patient before I realized that I had some breakfast bits stuck to my trousers.
How long to Boast Water Time?
*pours Rebecca a drink*
It’s 5:00 somewhere, baby!
:plugs in blender:
When life gives you lemons, find someone whom life has given tequila and have yourself a party.
It’s been a while, but…
Warms up catulator with vigourous ear skritches, belly rubs and chin skritches…
Take one bubble t.v., divided by a microwave oven, carry the views, extrapolate the sharp (ouch..sigh…claws), and multiply the whole thing by the square root of whiskey.tango.foxtrot.
…and you get….a sardine and peanut-butter sammich. Anyone?
:pokes large lump of fluff on futon, fails to find input location:
:locates and wakes Auxillary Catulator:
:applies ointment and bandages to bites received from Auxillary Catulator:
:locates Backup Auxillary Catulator under covers:
:contemplates waking Backup Auxillary Catulator, decides against it:
I am prepared to accept your findings.
Excellent! I say we make it so.
Prolbem suhlved.
p.s. I’ve found a good pair of heavy-duty welders gloves an absolute essential when using a catulator.
Can I borrow those for putting my cats to bed every night?
*hands Lizzi the gloves*
Mind that you put them on tightly, and really the stains…that’s not blood..nuh-uh..they work just fine.
I know not to look a gift horse in the mouth. (What an odd expression.)
I’m channeling Capn.
Back in the day, (and probably now, as well) horses would get diseases in their mouth. Obviously, no one wants a diseased horse, so people would look in their mouths to check their gums. But, if it’s a gift from a friend, or random stranger, a gift horse as it were, then it would be considered rude to look in it’s mouth, as that implies you don’t trust the person giving the gift.
Oh so it’s one of those literal expressions , I see. Learning is fun, hooray!
You can also tell the age of a horse by the teeth. No one wants an old horse that can’t do anymore work.
I got “curl up and lick your paw”…
Check the batteries.
Carry The Views? Much easier since Joy Behar dropped all that weight.
Well, your in you’re new condo; it’s not very big,
And that boast water, it’s callin’ to you.
Sparky’s neurosis
And kitten mitosis,
Buy this old TV, or pay extra for two.
Refrain:
Oh boast water, keep on rollin’.
Uncountable kittens, won’t you keep on climbin’ on me.
(2x)
My catulator says 3x, Dave.
I tink your rite, FM. But I don’t have a musical bone in my body.
I think it depends on the verse… the one that transitions into the bridge, I think, is only twice. But I’m sure drmk will come in here and correct both my memory and my phraseology.
Would that be in the key of Claw-Sharp?
Aside:
Was told that Fang (not feng) Shui was the art of so arranging one’s domicile so that the catulator(s) have ample places to lounge & prowl about, and thus have a decreased need to pounce upon a person’s noggin (no matter how much fun causing all those noises in OW!-sharp are).
I think we found a condo for your ferrets Dave.
I might have gotten one of those kittens, but, you know, http://www.catspictures.net/2008/12/ninja-cats.html
I can’t seem to snark this morning, I am still in awe of ghostcat’s box-recognized comment from yesterday. Wow. 33 adores at last count! That’s a hall of famer for sure. 8)
And just think, Windy, we get to say “I knew her when she was just SJ”.
It’s a proud moment for the YSaCers.
Sweet! I should stop sleeping more often.
This is a test…
I might have gotten one of those kittens, but, you know, ninja cats.
…and it worked! Yay!
Gack! Just now(!!!) read the title for today.
So, I have “Barbie Doll” trying to be an earworm. Luckily, I have Jack Ingram on this computer to cure that <woohoo>
I burned that onto a CD for Mini Monkey. I finally had to tell her I lost it. She wanted to hear it again and again and again and again in the car, while singing along at the top of her lungs. She was making me have evil thoughts.
The only CD that would piss me off more would be Kids Bop. I’d rip the radio out before I would allow that in the car.
If Yo Gabba Gabba made a CD for the car…….that would be the worst
The Doodlebops – they are evil.
Ah…the days of Yo Gabba Gabba with the grandkids brings to mind this convo with me and my youngest, Baby Girl.
Me: By all that is holy, what fresh hell is this?
BG: (glancing at television) Oh, it’s Yo Gabba Gabba…it’s for kids.
Me: What kids? Alien creatures deaf, dumb and blind?
BG: I know, right?
Me: Who makes this stuff up?
BG: Well, according to *legend two guys whacked out of their gourds came up with the characters one night…probably while scarfing pizza and watching reality television.
Me: Sweet jeebus.
BG: (sighs) Yeah, try watching it over and over, day in and day out. My daughter just loves it.
Me: (transfixed) That DJ Lance looks positively weird…no, really..he’s scary and daughter is okay with this?
BG: (shrugs) I guess..she seems to love it.
Thank the gods all the grandchildren (save the youngest who is 6 months old and I will smash the television of the first of her older cousins who shows it to her) have outgrown it.
**I hear it’s being used at Gitmo these days.
*I can neither confirm nor deny this legend, but for the sake of my sanity I choose to believe it.
**I can only pray this is true.
I sing “There’s a party in my tummy” to drive hubby insane mwahahahaha
Speaking of “bop”.
7 out of 8 kittens surveyed prefer the iTink for felines that DO believe in fairies.
If a kitty did come across a faerie, wouldn’t it just eat it and barf it back up later on the carpet?
I don’t get it, Fry. I take up 1.5 cubic meters, you take up one cubic meter, and this apartment is three cubic meters. We still have room for another half of a person!
Futurama quote FTW!
You see, when kittens are moving sufficiently fast, it’s impossible to count them all. That extra one (or not) is a Heisenberg Uncertainty Kitten.
Shrödinger’s Cat may or may not have been its mother.
Just a hit-and-run, no nonsense, non-funny comment today.
I tink.
I might have 8 or 7 left.
ghostcat, thank you for haunting the box on Hump Day! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, New York City!