YSaC, Vol. 1323: The Soft Parade.
Many Small Stuffed Animals
Hi craigslist users,
looking to score some stuffed animals today. i’m making a door and i need all the help i can get. Smaller sized ones are preferred.
thanks!
I have always labored under the apparent misapprehension that doors were made of something other than fake plush fur and synthetic fiber batting. I arrived at this conclusion because I am rather klutzy, and have walked into my share of doors over my lifetime. None of those doors were squishy and cuddly.
If you actually are making a door out of stuffed animals, for whatever completely inexplicable reason that probably involves massive head trauma, possibly from walking into a door; but I digress — wouldn’t it be easier to use a large stuffed animal rather than many, many Beanie Babies?
Thanks, Tara!
Woohoo! Something I submitted is now available for snarkery!(yes, I just made that up) I’m slightly surprised that the one about the toilet planter didn’t get picked, though. Our local CL can be decidedly odd.
Hi,
i need a monolith to force evolution upon lower-order creatures infecting the highways. please send tiny citrus.
s.
Not-Dave
Tiny Citrus is the name of my all-little people Lemonheads cover band.
And incidentally, Many Small Stuffed Animals Building a Door is my Pink Floyd (Syd Barrett era) cover band.
Well, since Ty no longer has any market for the Beanie Babies they’ve had to branch out into the construction business to make ends meet.
1. Wait for fad to run its course.
2. Buy no-longer-collectible collectibles at rock-bottom prices.
3. Make improbable architectural item out of them.
4. ???
5. PROFIT!
6. Or something.
I think Sparky misspelled “deer.” Parts is parts.
I was hoping you’d go there. The first door’s on me.
Well, shoot. That’s what I get for clicking on a link from you lot. I may never sleep again.
O.M.G. My 10 y.o. has discovered CL. That is something she would post. She is obsessed with stuffed animals. She is also constantly coming up with projects that have us saying “Wait, what?”
I apologize to the world in advance. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Duh! Sparky is planning to string ’em up like beads and make a hanging-hippie-curtain-door doo-hickey with them. It’s part of his alternative, recreational, mind-expanding herbal life. It’s obvious he’s a stoner, ’cause he used the word “score”.
See, some people miss things like that. Not me. You can’t slip much past the monkey.
*slips glasses back up nose, looks all wise*
He also said “craigslist users” as though craigslist was a drug.
Edit: I would like to say at this time, I have never sniffed, smoked, or injected craigslist.
(I hope everyone thinks those are the only ways to take craigslist)
Dude.
Brownies.
I take mine by cupcake.
I’ve heard of making rugs from stuffed animals, but never a door.
http://agustinawoodgate.com/filter/Projects#Skin-Rug-Collection
I guess with the right reinforcements it would work, but why go to all that trouble for just a door? Why not just go all-out and make yourself a little fort out of stuffed animals?
Oh mah gawd! How cool would that be? And carpet the floor with stuffed animals. And have a little cot made of stuffed animals with a stuffed animal pillow.
We have GOT to hang out sometime, I love the way you think!
I had one of these. http://www.stuffedanimalshop.com/pwr/product-reviews/8670/Kids-Babies/Kids-Play/Stuffed-Animals/Wall-Mounted-Animals/Carstens/p/30734-Buffalo-Head-Trophy-Wall-Mount.html
I was going to get a little toy rifle to mount under it but never got a round tuit.
Tuits are usually square or rhomboid. Rounds ones went into extinction about 1974.
And we shall call it the Plushy Palace!
I think ghostie, going to all the trouble of slamming these puppies on to a door has ties to a Crucifixion Factor Installation—an artist’s statement addressing Man’s inhumanity to Redeemer juxtaposed against Man’s inhumanity to Wildlife. (A Clothespin Jesus impact, if you prefer)
An over-abundance of white stuffed seal pups for shock value perhaps? Or cotton-engorged Condors spiked with roofing nails? Elephants missing their tusks, but fat to the brim with bean pellets and super glue? Sparky wants them small to “up” the pathetic factor and bring home the concept of the Big crushing the Small and Innocent.
Oh, the huge manatee of it all (however, we prefer smaller-sized manatees for this project)!!!!
“I’m Mitt Romney and I approve this message (Seamus has some stories)…”
Okay, Which one of you is trying to get more doors by using stuffed animals?
Hmmm?
Well? Answer me!
Do you know what the punishment is for cheating?
Just wait until I tell Mama Windy.
Then you’ll really get it.
*sneaks off to newly aquired pile of plush toys* Hehe
This excerpt fom an original Monte Python script should explain everything. It was later edited so Peasant 2 wouldn’t be so embarrassed.
Peasant 1: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
(cheers)
Vladimir: How do you know she is a witch?
P2: She looks like one!
V: Bring her forward
(advance)
Woman: I’m not a witch! I’m not a witch!
V: ehh… but you are dressed like one.
W: They dressed me up like this!
All: naah no we didn’t… no.
W: And this isn’t my nose, it’s a false one.
(V lifts up carrot)
V: Well?
P1: Well we did do the nose
V: The nose?
P1: …And the hat, but she is a witch!
(all: yeah, burn her burn her!)
V: Did you dress her up like this?
P1: No! (no no… no) Yes. (yes yeah) a bit (a bit bit a bit) But she has got a wart!
(P3 points at wart)
V: What makes you think she is a witch?
P2: Well, she animated my teddy to help her make doors.
V: Your teddy?!
(P2 pause & look around)
P2:Well, Umm, I mean my wife’s teddy.
V: Your wife wears a teddy?
P2: Umm, I think we’re getting a bit off track here.
Fee, Fi, Fo, Fim! I smell the batting and acrylic fibers of someone hoarding Beanie Babies! Got any owls?
Go fish.
Got any badgers?
Badgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers!
I forget – Are squirrels wild this game?
Squirrels are like blank scrabble tiles.
No, the venomous ducks are wild, duh!
If you’re going to play with us, you need to pay more attention to the rules.
Just kidding we’re using Wild Turkey.
I just get so confused! I don’t know what’s wild, whether to pass right or left, and if the bowl of frogs on the table is community property or what. Or when to yell bingo.
I’ll just take my buffalo chips and go home.
BTW, I am very offended that one of you guys used a monkey’s paw as a token. Come on!
We prefer the term “feral”.
But it’s a family heirloom!
How many bats are lobsters worth? I think I might have Yahtzee with a double word score.
Ghostie – I think you may have a double-fizzbin there! But, only on Tuesdays..if it’s dark.
UNO!!!
:rolls for damages:
You sank my Battleship!
:rolls again:
Oh, it was a grue. Good call.
Sorry I’m late, what’s the ante? Can I bid four ducklings?
“i’m making a door and i need all the help i can get”
Obviously he doesn’t want the stuffed animals for the door; he want’s them to help him out in the door-fabrication process! Can’t you just envision the little hoard of stuffed Barneys and fuzzy ducks and phlegmatically-smiling teddy bears, toy hammers in hand, lightly tap-tap-tapping on the unfinished door? *shiver*
As you well know, There have been more than a few craigslisters selling fur doors and other fur furniture. Sparky here just wants to get in on the market but doesn’t want to feel responsible for the deaths of all those cute little “living” animals. So Sparky is going for the faux fur door market.
But if Sparky thinks this should assuage his guilt, then Sparky should read “Amberville”.
I’ve heard of the furry fetishists but this goes a little too fur.
Sparky must be the anti-Hannibal Lecter. I’m envisioning a creepy door covered with a patchwork of stuffed animal carcasses in an array of hues. Extra trophy decoration created out of beady little eyes and plastic button noses.
Very creeped out. Going to rock in a corner (but not THAT corner).
Actually, if you had two clear acrylic panels the size of a door and wanted to fill the space in between with toys it would look really cool in a kid’s room. Maybe for a closet door, though. I’m sure acrylic and fake fur wouldn’t be much of a flame barrier. I think it would look classier than gluing them to a wooden door, but since when do Sparkies ever go for classy?
Sparky is obviously constructing a portal into another dimension, a dimension not only of stuffing and plush, but of hinges; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of incongruity. That’s a signpost up ahead… your next stop: The Craigslist Zone.
I suppose your theory hinges on the assumption that Sparky has become unhinged?
Wonder if they want the ‘squeaky’ stuffed toys?
Because nothing says adorable better than the door squawking at you while you look for the handle.
*tilts head*
Is that a euphemism?
This has been a fuzzy door production.
camille, hope your day in the box was filled with excitement and squeaky stuffed animals! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Teddy Ruxpin!