YSaC, Vol. 1322: Like a goat looking over a gate.
Art history time!
Throughout art history, many artists have been moved to create not just single works, but entire series of pieces. The reasons for this have varied. For example: “I’ve finally figured out how to draw haystacks – let me milk this for a while before I go back to trying to figure out how to do those #%*#(! water lilies” Or: “36 different views of Mout Fuji! Collect them all! That’ll be a good marketing technique, right?”
But hang up your Sunflowers and stop the Migration, because now we have this:
17 paintings of a goat.
It is the same goat, but the paintings are different. the smallest is the size of a book. the largest is about twice that size. they are free, but you must take all 17.
please keep them together.
leave a message telling me why you want them, and i will choose.
That’s going to be a really tough choice, I imagine. Do you give them to the person who needs to start campfires, or the one who needs to wrap fish? Decisions, decisions…
Thanks for the post, Kate!
Somebody help me finish this thought:
Goat-ier
Goathe
Van Goat
The coffee is weak with this one today.
Goa-net? Nah, sounds too much like “gonads”.
Goatye “some sparky that I used to know”
There used to be 20 paintings, but the goat wanted his 15%. They tasted better than they looked.
Strooth, the coffee augurs poorly this dawn.
And already portends 50 shades of Goat as is.
So, away will I, to be nannied and scaped in alternating fashion.
For no more reward than crag and can; chèvre oublié.
“50 shades of Goat ”
First I was all like “Bwahahahaha!” And then I was all like “Ew!”
That is a goat of many colors.
Yeah, the “ew” was many colors, too.
PS: Wait, there’s another joke here. Ummm….
If you give me the goat paintings, I promise to keep them separate from my series of paintings of a sheep.
A tub of vintage ceral says that Sparky used his “art” as an excuse to dress up the goat in different outfits.
I believe he’d need the tub if vintage Crisco for that purpose.
OMG…my stepfather has finally lost it. Some of you may remember his lifelong obsessive search for his goat, right? And that we gave him a toy goat for a birthday present one year?
Sigh…apparently this is what happens when goat obsession intersects with the “You Too Can Be An Artist” ads found in the backs of many magazines.
I apologize y’all, and please don’t buy one of these things. It’s only going to make matters worse.
I think it may be time for a goatvention.
He must understand what a baaa-aaa-ad habit this is, and how he cannot fleece the public with attempts to sell this wooly mess.
We must ram the message home!
Who’s with Billy and me?
I’m in. When he starts to see spiders, do we start the billy goat gruff tough love?
Should they send him to a methagoat clinic?
I’ll be there if you promise I won’t get sqished. That can really throw my back out.
Honey, I’m at the age where my back goes out waaaaaay more often than I do.
Man those paintings really get my….
Oh.
Your morning drive-by Taco-ing, sponsored by Purina Goat Chow, and Nanny’s Homemade Dumplings!
Snort. “Dumplings”. Heh heh.
“Man those paintings really get my….”
Utmost aproval?
Garbage Removal?
Ire up?
Coffee cup?
Posterior Kissed?
Thong in a twist?
Bust of a duck?
Squirrel costume’s zipper stuck?
Menagerie in an uproar?
Ménage à trois in a downpour?
Body purged?
Dinner regurged?
Movie quotin’, boat floatin’, gun totin’ Minnesotan out votin’?
What?!?!?
*sits on edge of seat, waiting*
“Ménage à trois in a downpour?”
Giggle!
*sits beside stripey kitty and waits for answer*
AFTERTHOUGHT: I bet the answer is “panties in a pucker”.
“Knickers all knitted up.”
“Boogers in a bunch.”
Sparky’s not kidding. Neither is his goat.
Sparky is his goat. Can’t you see, they’re self portraits done by and enterprising young kid looking to get out of the pen soon.
I’m more impressed with his ability to submit the craigslist ad…
I was tempted to put up a link to a pic of goatse, but, no. No, I won’t do that to us this morning.
Do not click this!
I hope that is a gruff hanging from his chin.
Lookie! Goat cheese and crackers in the corner
Damn, it’s been sold! Er, I am getting that information telepathically through the intertubes, because I did not click that. I always do as I am told.
Are those images of the same goat, just different images? Some images are the size of thumbnails, one is twice as big.
Some people really don’t understand that no matter how cute your kids are, nobody wants to look at 17 different pictures of them.
I know, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwM_-jyKQIs
“And here’s Daisy’s first hoof-bedazzling! We went with the purple rhinestones.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And here’s Junior – his horns are just starting to bud out. They grow up so fast.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And here’s the photos we took during his castration…”
“Ummm, I’ve gotta go … somewhere that isn’t here.”
O’er the ram parts we watched….
As the goat poo was steaming.
I really, really hope this series of similar-but-not-identical goat paintings can be made into a flipbook. That would be super wicked awesome.
If there’s something strange in the artsy world.
Who ya gonna call?
Goatbusters!
If they’re paintings of… and you just hurled.
Who ya gonna call?
Goatbusters.
I aint afraid of no goats.
I aint afraid of no goats.
If they try to ram paintings down your throat.
Who ya gonna call?
Goatbusters!
If those paintings need an extra coat.
Who ya gonna call?
Goatbusters.
I aint afraid of no goats.
I aint afraid of no goats.
Well, at least they are not paintings of Eunuch horns.
Why are girls so obsessed with eunuch horns?
I never could understand that.
Maybe a girl could explain it to me.
I’m a baaahd boy.
Leave a massage, you say? Okay, here goats.
His name is Glenn Goat, and Sparky has also made 32 short films about him.
I that was an actress, and she was in The World According to Goat.
Were the paintings part of the publicity for this play? http://www.briankerwin.net/plays/thegoat.htm
Is the male lead that dude that played Harry in Dumb and Dumber?
I have 17 pictures of men staring. We should get together.
The smallest is the size of a book, is it? Hold that thought.
*finds tape measure*
So… in inches, Anorak of Love is 6 tall, and 5 and a half wide.
The Grammar of Ornament is 13 and a half tall and 9 and a half wide.
Which book are you talking about here, Sparky? Help a girl out.
Out in Eastern Oregon not too far from Vale
Over a couple hills and way down in a dale
There sat sandbox made of an old boat
Where lived a little kid named Billy D. Goat
Who never ever tried to sell a pig in a poke
But he knew just how to make someone the butt of a joke
Go Goat, go Billy Goat, go
Go Billy Goat go, go Billy Goat go
Go Billy Goat go, Billy D. Goat
He used to tell about the woman with the bear behind
And also ’bout the bear that never crossed his mind
Sometimes he’d take you on an old snipe hunt
Or tell about a guy that shaved a lady’s cat
When you didn’t pat attention he would pull a stunt
Like puttin magnetic strips inside of your hat
Go Goat, go Billy Goat, go
Go Billy Goat go, go Billy Goat go
Go Billy Goat go, Billy D. Goat
His nanny told him one day he’d be on the lam
Runnin’ from the butts he made of old Dodge Ram
Many ticked off ungulates are after you
Because you had to go out and tip a gnu
Maybe some day you’ll get into a fight
Saying Billy D. Goat, good night
Go Goat, go Billy Goat, go
Go Billy Goat go, go Billy Goat go
Go Billy Goat go, Billy D. Goat
10 points for subbing “cat” for another word that would rhyme with “hunt”.
Brer Fox, foxy one, be free and happy on this lovely Hump Day! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Old Lady Who!