YSaC, Vol. 1321: Lady in Satan.

2012 August 20

Satan pink dyed heels-SIZE 8 1/2 – $20


Satan pink heels. 3 1/2″ high. Worn 1 time at wedding. Need to sell
Please text me at xxx-xxx-xxxx anytime or call after 5:00pm.

Now, I’m not a graphic designer, but I would definitely call that color “satan pink.” Anyone who would force their bridesmaids to wear that color would definitely qualify as Lucifer. I mean, I thought bridesmaids were supposed to be your friends — why would you do that to them? Ooooh, I really hope the dresses had puffy sleeves, too.

Astute readers will remember that this is not the first instance of this poor, maligned fabric making an appearance on YSaC. Nor, I suspect, will it be the last …

Vintage 12 Inch Russ Berrie & Co. Inc. Pink Troll Ballerina Doll! – $10


Vintage 12 Inch Russ Berrie & Co. Inc. Pink Troll Ballerina Doll! Pink Hair and Blue Eyes. Polka dot tutu with satan top and bottom. Pink satan ballerina shoes. 12 inches does not include the hair. At least 25 years old. Excellant Condition for age. Smoke Free Enviorment. Great addition to your collection! Will make that special little Ballerina very happy! Smoke free enviorment!

I only took ballet for about six minutes as a child, but I’ll have to agree about the shoes being evil. My main question is: Is Hell really smoke-free now? If so, that makes it better than casinos.

Thanks, anonymous submitter representin’ the 318, for the first ad!

49 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 August 20

    I call shenanigans. Everyone knows that the devil wears Prada.

    Adores: 10
  2. 2012 August 20
    Rebecca permalink

    Wedding on the mountain, run girls run
    ‘Cause the devil’s picked shoes that should see no sun
    Dresses with sleeves puffed up to the sky.
    “How do you like the dresses?”
    “It burns my eyes.”

    Adores: 6
  3. 2012 August 20
    LimeLolly permalink

    Pink really isn’t Satan’s color. He prefers burnt umber.

    Adores: 7
  4. 2012 August 20
    CapnMac permalink

    Not quite sure, but, I have a recollection of driving past one of the wedding venues in my old hometown and the bridesmaids were attired similar to that second picture–which cannot have been a good thing. Had a mental image that the groomsmen were in chartreuse and lemon.

    Adores: 6
  5. 2012 August 20
    CapnMac permalink

    Ok, I’ve been poor, I’ve been po’, I’ve been the broke you get to be when you can’t even find work pushing a broom. But, I’ve never been to the point of trying to flog my used-once shoes for four sawbucks.

    Ok, to be fair, I do not have any used-once shoes.

    I’m not named Carrie, either.

    Adores: 3
  6. 2012 August 20
    funky "piping hot" monkey permalink

    *squints eyes, turns head sideways*

    No, I don’t think that’s Satin Pink, it’s more like Beelzebub Blush.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 August 20
      wanda permalink

      Prince of Darkness Poppy?

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 August 20
        camille permalink

        Malevolent Mauve?

        Adores: 1
      • 2012 August 20
        One Moving Violation permalink

        Pepto-Dismal, because it turns my stomach.

        OxyContin Candy, because it’s too painful to look at.

        Please don’t color me pink, it’s so depressy.

        Adores: 2
  7. 2012 August 20

    While I do enjoy collecting possessed playthings, I think I’ll pass this time. The demonic troll ballerina with the permanent jazz-hands is giving me a serious case of the creepies.

    Adores: 10
    • 2012 August 20
      wanda permalink

      You do have to wonder what they were thinking when they made this doll. I can hear those toy manufacturers brainstorming now: “Every little girl wants to be a ballerina, right? And they all love those troll dolls, right? BAM!”

      Side note, my father worked for a well-known toy manufacturer all his life. I was signed up as a ‘toy tester”. Toy manufacturer does not equal sweet old kindly Geppetto types toiling away for the enjoyment of all children. I’m pretty sure Satan was involved in some of those pre-market toys.

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 August 20

        I’ve heard tales of these shadowy figures. Once, I even saw one of them – believe his name was Irwin-something – hawking their latest creation:

        http://www.hulu.com/watch/115713

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 August 20
          Demon Duck of Doom permalink

          I’m sure this toy underwent extensive product testing.

          Adores: 2
        • 2012 August 20
          Brer Fox permalink

          Consumer Probe?

          “But mommy, I don’t want to be a consumer any more!”

          Adores: 1
      • 2012 August 20
        tigprincess permalink

        Wanda – remember someone somewhere invented My Little Pony. My daughter was informed that we’d buy her the My Little Pony Abattior set. She’s 27 and still waiting.

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 August 20

          I’ve got the DIY version, it’s mostly just a big pot where I boil the Ponies so it’s easier to pull off their heads with a pair of tongs.

          Adores: 2
  8. 2012 August 20
    tigprincess permalink

    They are definitely Satan shoes.
    If they were Angel shoes they’d supply any size to fit my feet. Theses are a specific size and my feet would have to ‘adjust’.
    Also – is the photo pre or post the bridesmaid activity?
    If pre- then I would expect the post photo would show (a) grass stains, (b) sweat stains, (c) blood stains … after the virgin sacrifice, (d) burn stains … after the ordeal by fire, and (e) soil stain … after the burial.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 August 20
      SilvaNoir permalink

      They’re my size! I don’t want them but they’re my size.

      Adores: 0
  9. 2012 August 20
    penguin permalink

    She should try selling her soles to the devil – apparently they are dyed (died?) his color.

    Adores: 14
    • 2012 August 20
      funky "piping hot" monkey permalink

      Know what? I think I would gladly go to Hell just to see Old Man Splitfoot wearing pumps.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 August 20

        And the dress that went with them, with a handbag to match.

        Adores: 5
        • 2012 August 20
          One Moving Violation permalink

          …and the whores he rode in on.

          Prada wearin’ spawn of Satan.
          Lookin’ for a shoe that has recently dyed.
          He aint got no problems wearing sandals or pumps.
          Never had a problem wearing sneakers or flats.
          High heels keep on hurting.
          Stops him from all his flirting.
          Trollin’, trollin’, trollin’ in the brothel.

          Thin Queue, Thin queue! You’ve been an overly oddly angst.

          Adores: 1
      • 2012 August 20
        SilvaNoir permalink

        close as you can get to that for now: http://powerpuff.wikia.com/wiki/HIM

        Adores: 1
    • 2012 August 20
      Brer Fox permalink

      I had fillet of sole once. It was like chewing on an old shoe.

      Adores: 2
  10. 2012 August 20

    Pleased to meet you, hope you’ve guessed my name.
    Don’t you like my pumps, should I add some dark pink flame?

    Adores: 8
  11. 2012 August 20

    This reminds me of the time I sold my soul to Stan…

    Adores: 8
    • 2012 August 20
      LimeLolly permalink

      I thought you said Stan gave it back to you… something about not matching the decor or something.

      Oh yeah, it kept forming macarena dance lines. That was it.

      Adores: 2
    • 2012 August 20
      Demon Duck of Doom permalink

      I sold my soul to Santa. Then I saw Mommy kissing him! My therapist says it’s time to let go, but I say somebody’s got to pay.

      Adores: 3
  12. 2012 August 20
    Rabbit Roulette permalink

    Any spike heel more than 2 inches high is evil incarnate, so yeah, I can understand the reference to Satan. I spent last weekend looking for a basic pair of black heels, and almost everything available is either stiletto platform terror or big floofy bow detailing that snags on everything. I vaguely remember once upon a time they sold women’s shoes that a woman could actually walk in.

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 August 20
      tigprincess permalink

      Rabbit – Basic Shoe Rule No. 1 – if the shoe looks comfortable IT’S UGLY!
      MOVE AWAY FROM THE SENSIBLE SHOES!

      Adores: 3
  13. 2012 August 20
    Ralph permalink

    It’s not Christmas yet, so I’m not worrying about Satan.

    I prefer sequence anyway.

    Adores: 1
  14. 2012 August 20
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Fe fe fi fi fo fo fum
    Look at Trolly now, here she comes
    Got a frilly tutu and hair to match
    Everything’s pink cuz she don’t wanna clash
    Wearin’ her shoes with the satan laces
    It’s Lucifer’s hue, all in your faces!

    Devil with the pink dress, pink dress, pink dress,
    Devil with the pink dress on

    Adores: 2
  15. 2012 August 20
    Brer Fox permalink

    The devil was wearing Prada, he was coming with some shoes to sell.
    His feet were in a bind ‘cos he couldn’t find a pair that would fit him well.
    When he came across this young man reading poetry to his love.
    And the devil jumped up on “The Table” there so he could tell him from up above.
    “I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m a decent poet too.”
    “And if you care to take a dare, I’d like to try her shoes.”
    “Now you site a pretty good poem sir but give the devil his dues.”
    “I bet these trolls against her soles, ‘cos I think I’m better at schmooze.”
    The man said, “My names Danny and now you’re goin’ down.”
    “I’ll take your bet, you’re gonna regret, I am the best poet in this town.”

    Danny sharpen up your wits and say your poemwell.
    Your lady’s counting on you and her shoes may go to hell.
    And if you win you get this little shoe box full of trolls.
    But if you lose, the devil gets her soles.

    The devil clicked his brand new bic and sat down to write his prose.
    He set a page before him then he had to blow his nose.
    He pulled the pen across the page and it made an evil ssiiiss.
    He took the stage with his new written page and his poem went something like this.

    “There once was a troll that was pink.
    Was smoke free so it did not stink.
    With polka dot tutu.
    And eyes that are blue too.
    For ten bucks so what do you think?”

    When the devil finished, Danny said, “Well that’s pretty good old man.”
    “But sit right there and I will share this YSaC song by Dan.”

    “Posting on YSaC’s so much fun.
    The devil’s in the house of the Llama-nun.
    Bees be upon her and on her shoes.
    They’re not his size so the devil will lose.”

    The devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat.
    He laid that box of trolls upon the ground at Danny’s feet.
    Danny said, Devil, get outa here ‘cos you’re through.”
    “You should have known, you little twerp, don’t mess with the Ostrimu.”

    And he said, “Posting on YSaC’s so much fun.
    The devil left the house of the Llama-nun.
    Bees be upon her and on her shoes.
    They weren’t his size so the devil did lose.”

    Adores: 12
    • 2012 August 20
      Brer Fox permalink

      I’m sorry, really, really sorry if I offended anyone. Please don’t shoot me.
      I only have a poetic learner’s permit, and my prose insurance only covers rough drafts.
      Please don’t sue me.
      *widens eyes, tries to look cute*

      Adores: 2
    • 2012 August 20
      tigprincess permalink

      Foxy- that is sooooo cooooooool , gazillion of doors be upon you! It shall be my earworm for today!

      Adores: 1
    • 2012 August 20
      Rebecca permalink

      Brer Fox, if I wasn’t already head over heels with Mr. Manderlay, I would totally stalk you.

      Doors infinity.

      Adores: 0
  16. 2012 August 20
    mud "Satan Clause" slicker permalink

    Pastel overboard in that house in pic #1. Satan’s house needs a makeover. Pastel green and that nauseating peach wall. The Behr Bear and David Bromstad just threw up in their mouths a little.

    Adores: 0
  17. 2012 August 20
    SpaceBug permalink

    If these were truely Satan shoes, wouldn’t they be bedazzled to match his hooves?

    Adores: 5
  18. 2012 August 20
    One Moving Violation permalink

    “12 inches does not include the hair.”

    Well, that’s how I measure…

    Adores: 7
  19. 2012 August 20
    Brer Fox permalink

    Don’t trolls have a navel gem?
    I wonder what color it is.

    O’ tourmaline, why can’t you be blue?
    O’ tourmaline, why can’t you be blue?
    There’s too much pink, I feel like I got the flu.

    Just mindin’ my bizness, aint doin’ nuttin’
    I saw tourmaline in a belly button.
    I thought that my guts were goin’ to spill.
    Using tourmaline was overkill.

    O’ tourmaline, why can’t you be blue?
    O’ tourmaline, why can’t you be blue?
    Her eyes were blue and her belly button should be too.

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 August 20
      Windrose permalink

      Brer, did you watch a Glee marathon over the weekend or something? 8) Not complaining, it’s a lot of fun.

      Adores: 0
      • 2012 August 20
        Brer Fox permalink

        No just spent alot of time mining in my little ol’ fox cave.

        Adores: 1
  20. 2012 August 20
    Brer Fox permalink

    I never wear satin, it is so hard to tend.
    I only wear cotton and sometimes a blend.
    Doing my laundry, I find is a chore.
    It’s always so dirty, as it lies on the floor.

    And I love All, yes I love All, Oh how I love All.

    So many people seem to have a command,
    of how to clean satin, I just don’t understand.
    Some try to tell me,Woolite™ in the end,
    will fix my cloth quandry, but I refuse to bend.

    Cos I love All, yes I love All,
    Oh how I love All, oh I love All.

    I never wear satin, it is so hard to tend.
    I only wear cotton and sometimes a blend.
    Doing my laundry, I find is a chore.
    It’s always so dirty, as it lies on the floor.

    Breath deep
    The gathering gloom
    The odors never fade
    From every room
    All better people
    Look down and lament
    All seems so useless
    On satin Raiment.

    Impassioned cleaners
    Hand wash each one
    In a delicate cleanser
    For later fun
    New mother picks up
    The clothes of her son
    Senior citizens
    Don’t care if it’s done

    Cold water absorb
    A cap of Woolite™
    Remove the colors
    from all whites
    Red will bleed and
    Gray will dull
    But we decide
    To use woolite™
    Or keep our delusions

    Adores: 0
  21. 2012 August 20
    Brer Fox permalink

    How much is that dolly in the picture?
    The one with the funky hair-do.
    How much is that dolly in the picture?
    I might get that dolly for you.

    That dolly has pink satan clothing.
    And polka dots on her tutu.
    That dolly has pink satan clothing.
    So I think that you like pink too.

    How much is that dolly in the picture?
    The one with the eyes that are blue.
    How much is that dolly in the picture?
    At twenty-five its not so new.

    That dolly is a little ballerina.
    With pink satan ballerina shoes.
    That dolly is a little ballerina.
    But ten bucks just gives me the blues.

    How much is that dolly in the picture?
    It’s from a smoke free enviorment.
    How much is that dolly in the picture?
    That’s too much, I think you are bent.

    Adores: 1
  22. 2012 August 20
    DigitalAxis permalink

    Get thee upon my feet, Satan!

    Adores: 0
  23. 2012 August 21

    ghostcat, what can I say that hasn’t already been said? Probably in a meandering conversation. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Helsinki!

    Adores: 0

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