YSaC, Vol. 1303: I blew up your body, but you blow my mind.
Full Size Doll Bargain – $50
Links to reviews and pictures are at the end of the listing.
“Young & Hot Doll” in like new condition. I paid $100, the lowest price I could find online
“Deluxe, life-sized doll featuring insert. Youthful, sculpted face and flowing blonde hair. Multi-speed Bullet.”
Unused Foot Pump. New never used insert in unopened packaging.I bought her as backup after my favorite doll broke. I replaced the favorite & have no use for this one.
Gently cuddled for maybe 1 hour total.Pictures of inflated doll are at http://www.blowmeupsexdolls.
com/Dolls/BarelyLegalSexDoll. aspx
11 reviews (80% average rating) are at [thankfully defunct website]
Warning: THAT LINK IS REAL. If you click on that link, you will end up face to … well, face, kind of … with a photo of a “barely legal” sex doll, with all of its latex bits displayed in all of their latex glory. I’m just happy that the reviews page is down, because I really didn’t want to read people’s assessments of how lifelike the, erm, insert is.
Is anyone else shuddering at what “gently cuddled” might be a euphemism for? While I’m hoping it’s “dressed her in a flannel nightgown with a high collar, long sleeves and a zip-in floor and settled in for a nice night of beer, pizza and a movie on the other end of the couch”, I suspect the truth is much, much stickier than that.
So who wants a second-hand, second-choice sex doll?
Oh, that poor, poor slimy tag. This was never what it was intended for.
Thanks, karmathecat!
Ok, I’m just goinf to embrace the sleep deprivation and cinnamon about the purepl
Yeah, I concur with the Cap’n.
Also, I still cannot understand – for the life of me – why Uncle Google has flagged this site for pron.
On a vaguely unrelated topic, I think I’ve spent too much time bargain-hunting on eBay. My second thought (after “Ewww”) was “Damn, that’s a lot of money for a fancy pool toy with holes in it. Sparky should have shopped around more.”
When the truth is found to be lies
And all the joy within you dies
Don’t you want some body to love
Don’t you need some body to love
Wouldn’t you love some body to love
You better find some body to love…..
News Flash!
Old news flash.
…and I thought pre-used chewing gum was bad enough.
Yeah. But pre-licked envelopes are da bomb.
Um, was that after the long walk on the beach with the wind in your and the doll’s hair?
AFAIR, Consumer Reports doesn’t review them either.
Hey, look, everybody. There’s orange sherbet in the corner.
Sparky didn’t take the doll with him, just the hair. Sometimes he likes to feel pretty.
This is too creepy for me. I’m staying away from this site today.
Good luck finding something funny in all that mess.
How counterproductive. I got doors for saying I won’t comment?
It’s the moustache.
I know Boy Scouts like to be prepared, but a backup inflate-a-mate? Seems a bit extreme to me.
Pishaw. A TRUE Boy Scout would make his own girlfriend from leaves, twigs, mud, and strategically placed moss clumps.
I think there’s a badge for that.
I think there’s a non-gay cub scout leader being fired for that, monkey.
p.s.: the gay cub scout leaders make theirs out of snips and snails and puppy dog tails.
And may I just say, congratulations to the duo in the box today. 🙂
@ MS: I hummed that tune all day yesterday. Drove my coirkers nuts. Thank you ever so much!
@ Ghostie: Anyone who has tried to teach their child(ren) the necessary life-skill of how to do laundry correctly, has seen laundry anarchy firsthand. Amiright, mothers of adult children out there??
I will freely admit to going through a “shove all the clothes in at once” phase when I first learned how to do laundry.
Right, Archie. It took ruining several cherished items to finally bring the lesson home. Sigh.
monkey – doors for Pishaw! a word rarely used in modern life!
Who else but Quagmire, am I right??
No but seriously, can you imagine the level of searing awkwardness at the face-to-face exchange? This is one instance where I’d recommend the meeting take place in a secluded spot, after dark, both parties wearing ski masks.
Um, I have to go the opposite: This is one of those exchanges where I would ABSOLUTELY NOT, under ANY circumstances, meet with Sparky anywhere secluded or dark.
Lars, Bianca is dead.
They even had a funeral for her.
(If he did dig her up, would it count as necrophilia?)
Now we know three of us watched that movie (plus the adores).
I started to read the reviews on the Aria Giovanni Doll. Don’t….just don’t. There’s not enough brain bleach.
You are a braver woman than I, pengie.
dubya dubya dubya dot clueless in [location] dot yuk/perverted/barelytolerablesparkyad dot ick
The doll may have been “gently cuddled” but I bet it has Dorito dust stains in some awkward places.
And it’s getting a little moldy from being stored in the basement. Good thing his mom never found it.
Do not, repeat, DO NOT tell me what “Multi-speed Bullet” means. Whatever I’m imagining, it’s sure to be much worse.
It could be one of those mini-blenders they sell on infomercials.
No, I think it may be one of those things with an assortment of brush attachments that you use to clean grout in the bathroom.
Let’s see Sparky put his winkie in that.
[korey]Obviously you guys haven’t been to the shooting range. A multi-speed bullet is one that you can program how fast you want it to go before shooting.
It’s really handy when you just want to go down to the range and hang out but not waste a lot of bullets. Crank it down to 1mph, pull the trigger, and just hang with your buddies and chat while the bullet makes it way down range. 10 minutes later you’re ready to check how well you did and take the next shot.
On a day where you need to sight in a rifle or just shoot a lot in general, crank the bullets up to c/2 and you’ll have near instantaneous results. The kick at that setting is a real bitch, though.
[/korey]
Funky, I am pretty sure Sparky has a wee willie winkie. 8)
It’s the bullet “got” Kennedy, before the one that killed him.
What, too soon?
“Gently cuddled for maybe 1 hour total.”
Why only an hour? What made him stop? A phone call? A knock on the door? His mom walking in the basement?
Was the quality of latex not good enough? Was the “insert” not a good fit? Did she talk too much? Was she needy, clingy, high maintenance, poorly dressed, did she wear too much makeup?
This is bothering me too much.
Let’s just assume he had a reptile dysfunction, and leave it at that.
Perhaps she beat him at chess. With this Sparky, I wouldn’t rule it out.
Sad to say, but I would bet a package of Oreo cookies that it was because he felt guilty cheating on his regular girl and had to stop after an hour….
…oh yeah, and because it was 8:00 and Golden Girls was starting.
His Bea Arthur cutout got jealous.
I’ve heard of pumps for other parts of the anatomy, but this is a first. I guess Sparky’s just not that into feet, but does that mean he “gently cuddled” an uninflated doll?
nm
(banning myself for the rest of the day)
In the course of his profession, Mr. Eyebrows has had many strange occurrences. This post brings to mind a most interesting one:
Out on patrol late one night, he happens upon a car merrily making its way down the main road in his town. He notices something sticking out of the trunk. Pulling said car over, he encounters four drunk but nevertheless happy fellows who have obviously been partying down by the beach. He tells them why he pulled them over and asks if they would open the trunk. They oblige. He finds a well-used, but deflated blow up doll. Yep. They spent the night in government-provided lodging.
Moral of the story: Always have a back-up doll.
Police have also caught people using blow-up dolls to drive solo in HOV lanes.
“Driving solo in the HOV lanes” – is that what kids are calling it these days?
Yeah, as well as “Alone T Shit Time.”
Driving solo in the HOV lanes is the best method of avoiding the HIV lanes.
Yeah, I know, corner, but weren’t we already there?
Indeed, Dave. My understanding is that they are fairly easy to spot. The giveaway is the always surprised expression.
…….and today’s sinus enema has been brought to you by…the eternally surprised (an image I can’t unsee now, thankyouverymuch)
Welcome, CJ! I hadn’t expected my work here to be done so early today. Can I go to the park now?
[weird, non sequitur, asynchronous, synchronicity]
Most of the HOV lanes in Texas only require a minimum of two persons in the vehicle.
Our semi-infamous I-635 (aka LBJ Freeway) is being refitted with more lanes–two below and four above–which will be “variable toll” lanes. Which is to say that the time of day, volume of traffic, and number of toll users will be used to set the rate of the toll. Said scheme clearly dependent on people with TollTags, who will not see the actual charges until the monthly statement is booked.
The newest wrinkle, though, is that the Toll HOV will require a minimum of three people in the vehicle–or additional charges will apply. No word yet on how the non-toll, 2+ HOV lanes will make the transition to Toll 3+ HOV. Normally, the turnpike Authority requires an “Opt out” lane in such situations. Which is just what busy freeway interchanges need: yet another access road.
Sigh.
[/non sequitur]
I can’t remember if I heard it here or if it was something my Mom told me (probably Mom, as this sounds like something my relatives would do) but I recall a story about an older gentleman who would hang a pair of pantyhose on the mantel next to the stockings every Christmas “in the hopes that Santa would bring him a woman.”
One year his friends/family decided to get an inflatable doll and stuff it into the pantyhose. The older fellow found it funny, calling her Mable (I think) and showing her off when everyone came over to the house for his annual party. During the party there was a sudden loud bang and Mable shot across the room like a missle. Upon closer inspection it was discovered that poor Mable had been the the victim of a drive-by spark from the nearby fireplace.
I remember reading that story too. Maybe it was Grampdaddy that told it?
The version I’m thinking of had: the Uncle getting the doll, the Grandmother wondering why the pretty girl had no clothes on, and the Grandpa trying to give mouth-to-mouth when the cinder caused deflation.
No, it wasn’t me. I don’t think.
I don’t recall.
I don’t remember…
I am pretending today never happened.
I don’t understand what all you young’uns are getting so upset about! It’s just a play doll, kind of like a “My Little Pony”. Sparky probably just got it so that he could brush her hair, put decorations on her tail, strap a saddle on her back and ride her like the win…. Oh, umm, never mind.
Are there still any refreshments over in the corner?
I can never think innocent things about My Little Pony since stumbling on an unfortunate Etsy listing involving a MLP with an, uh, insert. Also, a MLP centipede. I am not making this up.
Search it if you dare, but note: NSFW, and really, NSFDHB (decent human beings)
You have been warned.. I will bring guacamole and chips to the corner. Think I’m going to be there for a while.
ghostie and mudsy, it is my honor to present to you this Punchity Punch Punch! Wear it in good health.
Good Morning, Mrs. Ploppy!