BRAND NEW LAWN MOWNER AND TRAILER!! – $2000
6×4 TRAILER
ONLY USE TWICE
###-###-#### OBO
Still under warranty
Wait a minute. Why is there an “OBO” next to the phone number? If their phone number were (hypothetically) 555-1212, could I offer them 555-0986 instead?
Also, why can I only use this trailer twice? Is this some sort of Ethan Hunt thing?
Thanks for the post, Angel!
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Is a lawn mowner like a horse whisperer except for vegetation?
That is probably determined by the quotient of how much the vagetable in question finds the tractor “sexy” . . .
Perhaps this is being sold by Kenny Chesney.
Snort. You said “vagetable”. Heh heh.
It’s lawn ninjas, They like riding mowers. I had them when I had a riding lawn mower. I’d go out to mow the lawn and it had already been mown. They are very quiet about it. Not like the landscaping elves my neighbors had.
“6×4 Trailer” is boggling me.
A trailer is, in the main, an un-powered device that is towed by something else.
Yet, the notation “6×4” is most commonly used to designate the configuration of number of tires in ground contact and the quantity of those which are powered.
Most automobiles are 4×2 in this notation, having four tires, and two of those powered. If power is available to both axles, the vehicle is said to be 4×4. If we add a third axle, that configuration could be 6×2, 6×4, or 6×6. If we consider the ‘tractor’ portion of a “tractor-trailer” rig (aka “semi” or “18-wheeler”), those are typically 6×4(2d), meaning six wheel assemblies, four powered, with dual tires on those powered wheels.
Using a tractor as a trailer requires specialized skills (and a narrow set of particulars). The average sparkii is probably lucky to achieve this once, so twice is about as likely as three full moons in a given month.
This message will [corey] ten seconds ago. Whether or not you [mr phelps] is probably related to your use of an octant in social interaction.
I think Sparky is referring to the dimensions in cubits.
Put that way, it suggests a measurement in Fecktons and peckerweights–those Irish & UK units of measure can be ever so confusing.
Fecktons and peckerweights. Oh mah gawd. I just laughed so hard I puked. Thanks bunches there Cap’n!
I wanted to use an octant, but I only had a sextant handy. At least I was able to navigate my 1850s whaling ship home successfully.
THIS is a lawn mowner.
Of course the phone number is OBO. The mower, the merrier.
Oops, I already used something like that. Never mind.
I am much more intrigued by the still that’s under warranty. I had no idea you could get a warranty for such things.
Not that I know anything about stills…
Or revunoooers….
Or corn mash…
Or, you know what…let’s just pretend this conversation never happened, m’kay?
[corey] These come with a one-year warranty.
Or make your own, no warranty required: Some pressure cookers have a tapered vent that fits a compression fitting nicely; just add copper tubing and turn crappy wine into white lightning.
Not that I know anything about stills….
[/corey]
Great Grampa Monkey was a moonshiner.* He had a warranty for his still – a rottweiler named Stumpy.**
*This is true.
**This is a lie – his protection for his still was his shotgun.*** Which didn’t have a name. Unless it was Betsy, he’d sometimes stroke it affectionately and call it that.
***His rottweiler’s name was Ol’ Suma Bitch, he’d scream and throw rocks while calling him that.****
****This is such a huge lie that I’m going to Hell for it.
My uncle is a retired Rev’nooer, he has some very interesting stories from his still-busting days. My personal favorite is how he followed a herd of drunken cows to a still (the cows had found where the moonshiners were dumping their mash and were getting hammered on it.)
I’ve been a lawn mowner more than once, after a night of vodka and other alcoholic treats.
Are there pictures, similarly taken under cover of darkness?
I really don’t know. Vodka also makes me black out. I’m not even kidding. I baked cornbread one night and don’t remember doing it. Was some mighty fine cornbread. How I managed to measure and get it right, I’ll never know.
I don’t touch anything stronger than lite beer anymore.
My sister was on medication once that made her do things like that. She’d wake up in the morning to find out she had made pancakes in the middle of the night and left the kitchen a mess.
The seller isn’t kidding about only using it twice. I used mine three times, after midnight, and while it was wet. Now I’ve got about 30 lawnmowers running around causing mayhem.
I bet you named them all Gizmowner.
But will it cry at flower beds?
I can go 555-121, but not a digit higher.
Low baller.
I don’t think that’s the lawn moaning. I think it’s the neighbors complaining that you’re driving that thing around in the dark to take its picture.
[Weird double-take moment of the day: the hypothetical phone number is only two digits off my phone number; one in the first set of numbers and one in the second set.]
I’d go out and buy a lottery ticket.
Great idea! But Dan should do it, since he came up with the hypothetical number.
Hypothetical Mowner Number is the name of my Matchbox Twenty cover band.
I thought it was Judas Priests’ Breaking the Lawn cover song.
We do that tune along with 867-5309. It’s a helluva medley.
Thanks for the earworm, IF. Love that song.
Isn’t that song called 867-5309 OBO?
There’s a big 5-minute oboe solo in the break strain. They typically cut that on the radio edit.
kelli’s in the4 box, late, and not just because she’s a close, personal friend of mine. 8)
And now kelli is out of the box. Huh. I must have slept through it all. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good morning, Guillermo del Toro!