YSaC, Vol. 1293: I write the ads.

2012 July 11

55 flat screen sony in very miice conditions need it out by saturday

I have this tv is a 55 inch sony wega comes with remote comtrol works fine
Some little tiny dots on screen but does not affect at all tv works perfectly fine has
Hdmi ports its not heavy i am willing to show you the tv has to get out of my house by saturday the 22 sell for $275
Tv is worth more but need the cash for
Pictures,videos or more info please call or text at ##########
$275 and its yours!!! Have videos
Send me an email so i can sen u the videos and photos…..or i will take $250
And some trades just let me know

It’s a shame he needs cash for pictures, videos, or more info. With all the stuff online these days, you’d think he could get those for free. Also, Greg points out that the odd formatting on this one really looks like it’s some kind of song lyric. It’s been two years since our last song contest, so I guess we’re due. My thoughts:

“And some trades just let me know” scans nicely into the music for “You Keep Me Hangin’ On.”

On the other hand, the jerky offbeat rhythm and broken phrase of “Some little tiny dots on the screen but does not affect at all tv works perfectly fine has,” seems more like something David Byrne would have sung with the Talking Heads.

The first line, “I have this tv is a 55 inch sony wega comes with remote comtrol works fine,” is matter-of-fact enough to open something by Weezer.

So many possibilities – what song do YOU think we should sing this to?

34 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 July 11
    penguin permalink

    I think the tiny dots on the screen have something to do with it being in miice condition. They were expressing their thoughts on Sparky’s programing selection.

    Adores: 8
  2. 2012 July 11
    Ralph permalink

    A Sony Wega? The Plasmatics, of course:

    Every night I hope and pray
    A Sony Wega will come my way
    Some dots, works perfectly fine
    Feel the magic of the design

    Cause I want a flatscreen to call my own
    I want a Sony Wega so I don’t have to watch alone

    Sony Wega where are you
    With HDMI, a love so true
    And a remote I can hold
    Be with you as I grow old

    (chorus)

    Someday I don’t know how
    I hope you’ll hear my plea
    Someway I don’t know how
    You’ll sell your TV to me

    Sony Wega, until then
    I’ll go to sleep and dream again
    TV is cheap, but need the cash for
    Pictures,videos, other trash.

    (chorus)

    I want a…Sony Wega…so I don’t have to dream…alone.

    Adores: 8
  3. 2012 July 11

    What would mice want with a 55″ flat screen? A smartphone with the Netflix app would do fine for them. For rats, you might want something a little bigger, like a Kindle Fire.

    Adores: 8
  4. 2012 July 11
    tigprincess permalink

    Is it the case that the more words Sparky writes, the lower the price of the product on sales goes? the $275 to $250 went very fast. If I kept asking for emails and photos would s/he end up paying me to take it away?

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 July 11
      CapnMac permalink

      If you note the non-fine print, that’s $250 “and some trades.”

      Problem with that is that, if I throw in “Plumbing” for instance, well plumbers charge about $200-250 for a service call. And while “cooked pasta artistry” does not–yet–command such lofty rates, it might not have $25 of appeal to Spark’

      [sadface]

      Adores: 4
  5. 2012 July 11
    CapnMac permalink

    Gagk!

    I’m posting too quickly again.

    Rats!

    (or miICE)

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 July 11
      CapnMac permalink

      miICE.org exists

      It’s a program to allow access to Medical Information In Case of an Emergency.

      Good idea to have an ICE contact in one’s phone; or to append “ICE” to the names of people you would want contacted by scrolling down your phone’s Contact List.

      This idea originated in the UK when first responders first started noting how many of their charges only had sell phones (and that their Contact lists had names like “Da” or “Cous” or the like, but were not to be contacted in an emergency).

      Oops, forgot these: [off-topic corey][/off topic]

      Adores: 3
  6. 2012 July 11
    wanda-full doors and hinges permalink

    He is doing such a hard sell with those videos. This is just a ploy to get me to view his summer vacation footage isn’t it?

    Adores: 7
    • 2012 July 11

      Worse. He’s loading the slide carousel right now.

      Adores: 5
      • 2012 July 11
        CapnMac permalink

        “This is Uncle Ted in front of the house”
        [Photo torn in half]
        “This is Uncle Ted at the back of the house”
        [Photo torn in half]
        “This is Uncle Ted at the side of the house”
        [Photo torn in half]
        “This is Uncle Ted side of the house, but you can see a bit of the side”
        [Photo torn in half]
        <segue to something>
        {clever linky to Python sketch on YouTube}

        Adores: 3
  7. 2012 July 11

    You know that little widget-thingy that comes up at the bottom right of the YSaC page and tells me there’s “Other Sucking” I might like?

    Today, it’s blank.

    Much like Sparky’s screen/brain.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 July 11

      It’s been blank for me for a few days. Makes me wonder what I’m missing.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 July 11
        kelli permalink

        It’s offering me the FAQ. Well FAQ you too, widget.

        Adores: 6
        • 2012 July 11
          funky "aaaarrrgh!" monkey permalink

          Now my doors are gone. I think we’re ALL being FAQ’d.

          Adores: 3
        • 2012 July 11
          Windrose permalink

          We will, we will, FAQ You!

          Adores: 5
    • 2012 July 11
      CapnMac permalink

      Ah, the joys of “Scripts Partially Blocked”–woohoo!

      (Who will be playing their new single “Miice Spotz on the Big Screen” at the 40waTt 2niTe.)

      Adores: 1
  8. 2012 July 11

    To the tune of Row, Row, Row your Boat:

    55 flat screen sony
    in very miice conditions
    need it out by saturday
    And some trades just let me know!

    Everybody! We can do this as a round, and turn other ads into this song. That would be awesome!

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 July 11
      funky "aaaarrrgh!" monkey permalink

      Ooo, ooo, my turn, my turn!

      Pallet chairs, nacho fountains,
      Tables made of glass!
      Sparky, Sparky, Sparky, Sparky,
      Why don’t you kiss my ass?!

      Adores: 3
  9. 2012 July 11
    DigitalAxis permalink

    He’s a tough seller. He might just take $250 and not give you the TV!

    Adores: 0
    • 2012 July 11
      DigitalAxis permalink

      Hey, where’s my new Gravatar? Do they need to percolate through the system for a while?

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 July 11
        CapnMac permalink

        Yes.
        Try closing the browser entire, and starting it again.
        Be sure you are using the same email address as the changed gravatar.
        Your results may vary.
        Seek medical attention if pudding is on fire.

        Adores: 3
        • 2012 July 11
          funky "aaaarrrgh!" monkey permalink

          Don’t even ATTEMPT this if you’re nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant. Squishy-ness of the nipples may occur, especially in gravatars lasting more than four hours.

          Adores: 4
  10. 2012 July 11

    A Sony Wega would be nice compared to my cheap HDTV. It’s a Wizio.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 July 11
      funky "aaaarrrgh!" monkey permalink

      Ours is a Witachi. I think they’re made in Narnia. Or in the Shire, by Hobbits.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 July 11

        Mine’s a Sony Vegas, it’s pretty flashy but the cats keep trying to attack its feathered headress and I’m running out of quarters to put in it.

        Adores: 3
  11. 2012 July 11
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    I have this TV,
    Or should I say
    It once had miice.

    Now I want it gone,
    Isn’t it good,
    Your WEGA, dude.

    It has a few dots on the screen, but it’s perfectly fine.
    Please give me some cash to buy pictures (and throw in some wine).

    I’ve got videos
    Of this TV
    You’d like to see.

    Please take it away,
    Isn’t it good,
    Your WEGA, dude.

    Adores: 4
    • 2012 July 11
      funky "aaaarrrgh!" monkey permalink

      I’m hearing this to the tune of “Norwegian Wood”. Do I win the prize?

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 July 11
        Demon Duck of Doom permalink

        *DING DING DING*

        Your prize is a free earworm.

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 July 11
          Windrose permalink

          *flicks light app on Android* Now do Free Bird, dude!

          Adores: 2
  12. 2012 July 11
    kelli permalink

    It looks like Beat poetry to me.

    Adores: 2
  13. 2012 July 12

    I’m seeing The Offspring’s Why Don’t You Get a Job:

    I have this tv it’s 55 inches wide
    Its brand is a sony wega
    It comes with remote comtrol which works really fine
    Well my friend, let me sell it to ya

    Some little tiny dots on screen but does not affect
    tv, it works perfectly fine
    It has Hdmi ports and its not heavy
    Just take it from this house of mine

    [chorus]
    i am willing to show you for $275
    Tv must get out of my house
    The tv is worth more, but need the cash for
    Na, na getting rid of the moouse

    [bridge]
    Pictures,vids or more info call or text my numeroooo, oh yeah,
    Hey man, two hundred fifty dollars and its yours!!! Have videos!
    (Let me tell you bout my other TV now!)

    Adores: 0
  14. 2012 July 12

    Dave and ferrets, let me know if you need help getting that Wega out of the box. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Blue Ray!

    Adores: 0
  15. 2012 July 13
    Gary permalink

    “i am willing to show you the tv”

    That is very nice of him to offer to do that!

    Adores: 0

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