YSaC, Vol. 1291: The Mayans mentioned pallet chairs, right?
2012 July 9
~~~pallet lounge chair~~~ – $20
Selling my patio pallet lounge chair. When you put a cushion on it, it becomes very comfortable. I also use it sometimes without a cusion. It is for sure a talking piece. It just needs to be painted of your choice.
Oh no! Look a the date on those pictures! It’s from the FUTURE! This ad has clearly fallen through some kind of time-space wormhole, and is a bleak premonition of a dystopian hell in which we shall all be forced to sit on splinter-infested pallet chairs, with or without a cushion. It’s a bleak future we’re headed for, even if it is painted of our choice.
Thanks for the nightmare, Stephanie!
I prefer non-talking furniture.
I imagine a pallet’s voice is very squeaky and rusty.
Not if it’s a soft pallet.
pallet lounge chair:Let me tell you about being made. It was on March 7th 2006, I think it was a Wednesday. No, no, it was a Tuesday, or maybe it was March 9th, hmm, nope, I was shipped on the 9th. I was definitely made on Tuesday the 7th. Yes, I remember this guy nailing me several times that day. He was unstoppable, 8 nails per board. Sheesh, enough is enough, I mean, how much nailing is one pallet supposed to take. I think this guy nailed several pallets that day, talk about stamina. Well, then I got sent down the line and another guy made me blue as if getting nailed 84 times in one day wouldn’t make one blue by itself, I mean really! Well at least I was made of hard wood, better quality, accepted in more places.
You know, not like the pine models, the grocery warehouses would refuse those then then they would be hauled off to who knows where. You know, I’ve travelled around quite a bit in my lifetime. I should really still be travelling around from Manufacturing facilities to warehouses to stores, But No! I’m stuck here in your back yard holding up your fat butt all day while you spill your cheap beer all over me.
Sparky: Shaddap! Or I’ll use you for firewood!
*whimper*
“another guy made me blue as if getting nailed 84 times in one day wouldn’t make one blue by itself”
I thought NOT getting nailed is what made one blue?
Corner?
Upon reading this, I immediately became curious as to what a cusion is.
Right up near the top of the Google results was
this.
I’ll turn up the heat on the brain bleach.
Oooh. I clicked on that and got my first malware-malignant-silverware-warning-thingy, I think.
PS: I Googled “cusion” and the first 10 entries were badly spelled “cousin” comments. Like “if you date your cusion you’ll go to hell”. Heh.
[urban corey]Urban Dictionary sez cusion is an illiterate’s term for cousin. Love cusion is a breast or pair of breasts that you would rest your head upon.[/urban corey]
*scratches head, looks puzzled*
But what if your cousin is a boy and doesn’t have breasts?
I’ve got a few male cousins who defintely have enough padding in their miniature bouncy castles to qualify.
You can only do this in the UK if you’re royalty.
Something about this ad is unpalletable.
It’s rather crating on the eyes, too.
I’m sure your neighbors talk about it to no end.
Ooh, make me down a pallet from your floor
Buy me now a pallet from your floor
Honey, buy it now, paint it green day-glow
Then maybe my good gal she won’t know.
(Original version)
[Spends too much time on Pinterest Corey] Upcycling pallets is the hot new thing. Chairs, coffee tables, vertical gardens, patios, too many to list. [/eco-green Corey]
I seem to recall something very similar featured in ReadyMade magazine a few years ago.
I know! I really wanna try the vertical garden thing. But I’m accident prone, so Hubby Monkey will have to do it and he has said no more new projects til we get some of the old ones finished.
penguin: Have you been on craftgawker.com? Another cool craft site.
I’m usually more prone than vertical, and that’s not by accident.
Seems to have started in LA around the “reality” shows.
With a healthy dash of “wine barrel” furniture, too.
Wine/whiskey barrels having the advantage of some slightly ergonomic curves, if in a more expensive medium.
Now, if you made this furniture using pallets from the Lye plant, or battery acid place, or even the Waste Oil recycler; well, it might be a good idea to use your cousin as a cushion.
(Woohoo, comment allowed!)
Cap’n: Using your cousin as a cushion might be the eighth deadly sin.
Probably down to the details, like what sort of slipcover is used on/upon the “cusion” (and picayune details of taxonomy, like whether the cousin were, oh, Hylobates, or Phocoenidae, or even Gekkota Sodalitas . . . )
I just had the weirdest mental image of my cousin Smokey (who sits on the porch and smokes all day) being fitted for a slipcover. It was an improvement.
What sort of cover do you imagine putting on top of ol’ Smokey? Something in a snowflake pattern, perhaps?
* Tweezers sold seperately.
Tetanus shots at the Clinic.
Film at 11:00.
What is this film doing on my pallet? It needs cleansed. I should eat a cracker.
(Yes, I know that should be “palate”, and no, I’m not being racist with the cracker comment.)
Oh, sure, but when IKEA calls it a Pålüüt, you know everyone is going to want one.
Would IKEA sell the nesting creepy crawlers to go with it? Or do you have to supply your own?
Well, they’d be in the bin that used to have the spare parts, and would be labeled
“Buugz” or “Inzektz”
Ünd Büütsuvërken.
Edit: this should have been under OMV’s comment.
When handling, you should always wear Glüfenz.
I key a,
Your Kia
when I see ya
at IKEA.*
*Oh no I wouldn’t. Even though two of the schools I went to had Vandal mascots.
[corey] The blue pallets are illegal to own. They are called CHEP Pallets and are never sold by the Company that makes them. They are rentals. All CHEP pallets are stated on Bills of Lading and are tracked. Brown pallets are bought and sold and are not tracked. This applies to standard 4-way 40″x48″ pallets.(4-way pallets can be forklifted from 4 directions). 2-way pallets and specialty(odd sized) pallets are generally given away or sold to consumers for firewood or whatever Sparky might want to make of them.[/corey]
Ooh, I had a cousin that lived in one of those, nice.
Does he have one of those huge wooden cable spools for a table? If so, I haz a jealous.
He uses an old thread spool silly. How much room do you think one spider needs? I live in an old huge wooden cable spool though.(Actually its plastic but it has to be wood for this thread)
[matt[thread spool corey]]Look it up yourself. You got an internet of your own. Sheesh![[/thread spool corey]/matt]
Ah, the number of weavers no doubt undone by that requirement beggars the imagination . . .
No wonder they kicked their shoes into the Jacards . . .
(O Look, a Corner Looms)
I think that may be the expiration date, although judging by the color, it’s already starting to turn.
“It is for sure a talking piece.”
And it’s probably saying “throw me in the fire!”
[environmental corey]
Please do not pitch pallets into fires unless you are sure and certain that said pallets are both not pressure-treated wood, and have not had questionable spills upon them.
None of the existing pressure treatments are very nice to be around when burnt.
The number of things routinely spillt upon pallets is staggering. Murphy will insist that nothing as benign as vegetable oil or the like is on the lumber sparkii routinely pitch upon bonfires.
And, discovering that bonfire-building sparkii are unconcerned about spilled copper compounds, or arsenic-based ag chemicals, or caustic solutions might be saturated into those pallets–this can be disconcerting to learn from merely upwind.
[/corey]
Ya know, i have always wanted to get blue splinters in my ass, but, didn’t know how to do it. And, Sparky makes a great suggestion at the end, cus, ya know, blue splinters don’t feel the same as red or black splinters.
As far as the cusion, the only cousin i have that is pretty enough for me to consider is too skinny to be used as a cousin cusion (or is that cusion cousin?). So, i am taking applications for a new cousin who has more cusion for the pushin’.
But, i think that $20 is a great deal. Just put it into a box and send it to my 4″x4″ PO box. The women at the PO won’t mind cus they are used to me shipping and receiving freaky stuff.
All I want to know is, does the pallet chair have enough space for an easy-access crowbar attachment? That’ll come in handy once the Zombie Apocalypse starts on August 8th.
Who is the best little gecko in the world? And who is the funkiest little monkey in the world? LimeLolly and Funky Monkey, that’s who! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, EZ-Move Furniture!
I would like to take a closer look at some of their memorabilia