YSaC, Vol. 1275: In Which A Sparky of Very Little Brain learns about Snakes
5′ albino Corn snake
Good Snake , eats well , has never bitten
I traded the snake thinking I may want to get into snakes,
I am not into snakesWilling to trade for a beardie , maybe some turtles , wouldnt mind some sort of frogs
mayeb some other things , try me or make a $ offerLet me know
Bring a container to bring him home in .
Pooh was surprised to discover Tigger at his door again. After their journey yesterday where they found out what Tiggers like to eat, he thought that Tigger would be at Kanga and Roo’s house for a nice breakfast of Extract of Malt.
“Hello Tigger,” said Pooh, being a very polite bear, “What can I do for you this morning?”
“I would like a pet,” said Tigger.
“Really?” asked Pooh, “What sort of a pet?”
“Tiggers like all kinds of pets,” said Tigger. Pooh was a bit alarmed at this, and suggested hurriedly, “Perhaps you should start with just one pet. What sort of pets do Tiggers like best?”
Tigger gave this question considerable thought. He cocked his head to one side and squinted at the ceiling for nearly a minute. Pooh was just considering having a fortifying slice of bread with honey while he waited when Tigger looked up and announced, “Tiggers like snakes!”
Pooh was quite relieved at this. He had a snake in an aquarium he had been hoping to trade to Owl for a jar of treacle. However, Owl was quite uninterested in the snake, and so Pooh had wondered what to do with it.
“Just a moment,” said Pooh, and went to fetch the snake. When he returned, he showed it to Tigger.
Tigger leapt away with a start. From his new position on top of Pooh’s cupboard he announced:
“I am not into snakes.”
Thanks for the post, Ralph!
Snakes? I hate snakes! Why’d it have to be snakes?
Sorry Mr Jackson, snakes are for reeeaallll.
That’s right! It’s the other Dr. Jones that’s okay with snakes but hates rats. Sorry dude. My bad.
Another sparkii-Koan?
Just how does a snake “eat” that does not also “bite”?
This is as pressing a question of how will I drive in the rain if it rains when I drive (the current thunderstorming making this an issue as I prepare to set out on my 45 mile drive to work–the local sparkii are poor drivers in dry and clear conditions…)
Here in NC the rain causes the “stupid gene” to quickly multiply. (We won’t talk about what happens when we see 1 snowflake.)
It’s a sad and scary thing.
Yes… Yes it is… Then we have to import snowplows and spray trucks from Georgia…
What? Your NC hella-leaf blowers aren’t good enough?!?!?!
“Just how does a snake “eat” that does not also “bite”?”
Two words: Rat smoothies.
According to my sister (whom I’m inclined to believe because she wasn’t blessed with our family’s bullshit gene) her sister-in-law makes rabbit smoothies for their dogs. They raise Great Danes and breed rabbits to feed them and often blenderize the entire rabbit, bones and all, to feed to the dogs.
*make the rabbits stop screaming*
–Clarice
Aaaah! I’m praying to Jebus that she has the family bullshit gene!
Mudsy: That ain’t the rabbits screaming, that’s me!
Considering I once successfully convinced her that candy that is past its expiration date doesn’t have any calories, I’m guessing she doesn’t.
(At least I left out the really gruesome part.)
I could have done without that visual, Ghostie.
It doesn’t bite, it gives hugs with its mouth.
Enough is enough! I have had it with this motherf*****g snake in this motherf*****g apartment!
I think I’ll go to motherf*****g Craigslist and trade it for a motherf*****g beardie!
What kind of guy can’t grow his own beardie anyway?
I know, right? Why, if Hubby Monkey doesn’t shave every day he looks like C. Everett Koop.
[corey] Beardie = bearded dragon, which sounds like a euphemism but is actually a lizard. [/corey]
Which, as we all know, is a euphemism.
Good snake! Time for walkies!
There are no bad snakes, only nitwit owners.
I saw 5′ albino Corn snake
and immediately thought it was a personal ad.
I wouldn’t assume otherwise. I mean seriously, the guy is trying to trade his snake for some beardie. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
I was about to wonder how the turtles fit in, but I’m not sure I want to know.
Albino Corn Snake is IF’s Whitesnake/Korn…. (oh, you get the picture)
To paraphrase Ghostie from the other day – With love and lube, anything is possible.
PS: Don’t forget about the frogs.
Sideways, with lube…
*Corner* Hey who brought brownies?
The brownies are from me! You’re welcome!
Those aren’t brownies.
BD, I suggest you send in Talon to recon brownies first.
I hope I never become famous because my Wikiquotes page would look really weird.
But you are famous! Didn’t I tell you I had the love-and-lube comment embroidered on a pillow?
Wasn’t that pillow at Joni “frickin'” Mitchell’s house?
Once you’ve had an 8 ft. black mamba, you never go back.
Demon please!
In his defense, Herpetologist Sparks didn’t say he was a bad snake, just that he wasn’t “into” them. So we should just throw our animals at him left and right until he finds his pet-human match. My guess is a skunk.
P.S. This was supposed to go under Dave’s comment. This will be one of those sort of days
I think the perfect pet for a Sparky would be a sloth.
A bunny that thinks it’s a velociraptor.
A grue.
How about a monkey that thinks it’s a goddess?
How about a cat who thinks he’s God-Emperor of the Known Universe? I’m just speaking hypothetically; I don’t actually know of any.
Whya no chicken?
Snakes on the brain.
Sparky needs to commit to either Amphibians or Reptiles.
I think he should choose amphibians cause, you know, reptile dysfunction.
A reptile dysfunction can happen to anyone. You’re minding your own business when all of a sudden, BAM! Your frilled lizard has unfrilled.
Reptile Dysfunction is the name of my The Turtles cover band.
Yeah, too much Napolene sulfate will cause you to lose your beardie by way of reptile dysfunction . . .
I doubt he knows the difference
By the time you get into a snake, it’s usually too late. Sparky dodged a reptilian bullet.
Bet I can pick Sparky out though. He’s that big huge lump in the middle.
I’m quite happy with my life on this side of the snake. I don’t want to see the inside.
In Soviet Russia, snakes see inside you!
So Russian snakes have x-ray machines?
“Just how does a snake “eat” that does not also “bite”?”
The same way people do.
***Ducks and hides***
snakes slurp soup 😉
ghostie, you are the first person to be punched from Las Vegas! PUNCHITY PUNCH PUNCH! Good Morning, Parseltongue!