YSaC, Vol. 1266: I’m doing research in the field of Craigslist!
Seeking Animatronic Disnosaur – 36
Nothing turns me on more then Jurassic Park themed role play. You must be the animatronic dinosaur, and I must be the helpless child (Tim or Lex) stuck in the park at your mercy.
You will growl mechanically into my ear and stare threateningly. I will feign panic and search for the flash light in the back seat of the visitor jeep. You will sniff at the window slowly and then release a robotic roar into the night air. I scream for Alan Grant, but your over sized robot jaws come crashing down through the overhead window, pinning me to the floor.
I cannot stress this enough however, you must play as a ROBOTIC dinosaur. This is very specific, my interest lie entirely in animatronic dinosaurs, NOT real ones. I thought I should mention this as there have been unfortunate miscommunications in the past, leading to poor performance.
I don’t like wasting my time, so make sure you do your homework and watch the film and make sure you can fully embrace the mindset of an animatronic dinosaur. Also: Must love orange sherbert. This ad is real– Tell me your favorite dinosaur in the return title. Grrrr.
I’m totally loving the portmanteau in the title. Obviously an animatronic dinosaur would be a Disnosaur — a dinosaur created by Disney!
And I completely understand this person’s problem. When you have a very specific fetish, and the other person doesn’t get it exactly right, it completely ruins the mood. Why, just the other day Dan and I were role playing Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, and instead of saying “Quit it, Pammy, quit it” as I was dancing alluringly, he said, “Stop it” instead! And that totally made me not want to say Rowr anymore.
Um. Was that out loud?
“but your over sized robot jaws come crashing down through the overhead window”
“but your over sized robot jaws come crashing down”
“your over sized robot jaws”
Her oversized robot jaws make her a good kisser. Totally feels like your head is removed from your shoulders.
Rowr.
Over Sized Robot Jaws is my Ethel Merman-Florence and the Machine mashup performance-art collective.
Hey, I’ve got an “in” with a great opening act for them:
Pneumatic Actuators
My oversized robot jaws and mindset of an animatronic dinosaur make it hard for me to enjoy orange sherbet.
Strange. My oversized robot jaws and mindset of an animatronic dinosaur make it hard for me to NOT enjoy orange sherbet.
When did the food preference of those with fetishes change from lime jello to orange sherbet? I never got the memo.
Lime Jell-o? Whatever happened to whipped cream and caramel sauce?
Does no one respect the classics anymore?!?
Two words: Peanut. Butter.
Monkey! *points* Corner!
Nut butter is best when spontaneously shared with others.
I’ll be in the corner.
Ok, is it bonus points if the booties for your black velvet body suit have claws on them like the gloves?
(And, I now know what happened to all those brains-in-metal-boxes I used to have; and my storied careers as a science guy in the woods . . . )
[strange synchronicity]Oh, hugely strange moment, as the topic of creating dinosaurs for static or animatronic display was an end-of-day conversation at work.
And now, the dread drive to the employ must now ensue, and I, away.
[/str. synch’y]
Awww. I really want to be a Brontosaurus jumping on a buttered burrito-rolled rug.
The part of Jurassic Park that turns me on is the scene where Dr. Ellie puts on that big glove and digs thru the dino poop.
Huh. Must be a monkey thing.
I had a summer job at a certain zoo selling tickets for the animatronic dinosaur show there, and also for the “simulator” ride which inevitably was called ‘The Stimulator” on a daily basis. This brings back more than a few very absurd memories.
Prunella, my dear, you must share!
As Jeff Golblum would say, “Oohh, Aahh, that’s how all of this starts, but then later there’s the running and screaming.”
Sparky, I will be your Robosaurus but you should know that they hate orange sherbert. They love Raptor Tracks.
“I will be your Robosaurus”
I first read this as Rubbersaurus then I quickly regretted it.
Is anyone else setting the brain bleach to boil after reading that scenario, then going back to the first line
and then wondering WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS PERSON IS TURNED ON??? I mean if that’s just the setup, what do they actually require to, er, achieve satisfaction? (I hate myself for thinking, much less typing that.)
If anyone needs me, I’ll be over in the corner, sobbing quietly (I hope) to myself.
Let’s hope it just involves eating orange sherbet.
And that “eating the orange sherbet” isn’t some kind of euphemism, which it probably is.
“Lemon Curry?”
He wants to be a little boy or a little girl. You have to be a girl animatronic dinosaur. He’ll want to look up your skirt to make sure.
Only females should apply. He doesn’t want transgender animatronic dinosaurs, unless of course you have animatronic frog DNA in you.
OMV, I think you need to move to the corner. The far corner.
Awww!
*casts eyes toward floor*
*gets nibble… gets nibble…STRIKE!*
*reels in catch*
*Checks regulations and pictures of what is legal to keep*
Hmmm, Floor tile? No. Bath tile? No. here it is… Animatronic Reptile (prehistoric). International law prohibits the harvest of all Animatronic Reptiles (prehistoric) over 156 inches.
*measures ’tile*
Damn, only 148 inches. Biggest ’tile I ever caught and I have to throw ‘im back ‘cuz he’s to small.
*tosses reptile back*
*tosses back a cold one*
Yup, bad day of fishing is always better than a good day at work. Life is good.
Well, now OMV has provided the term “Rubbersaurus,” which I suspect answers my question.*
*Which, now that I have it, I am not sure I actually want …
drmk, you would be the loveliest Animala ever! 8)
Half woman, half four-other-forest-creatures!
I’d love to be there when Sparkles (or Sparky, it doesn’t really specify) tries to explain to the paramedics exactly how s/he got stuck in that Power Wheels Jeep.
“Must go FASTER!”
can I suggest you listen to this little ditty? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXzaVOk_Ydk (not for puppy!)
“Tell me your favorite dinosaur in the return title”
Ithinkhesaurus
Just don’t say it’s the parasaurolophus; she might think you’re compensating for something.
I do NOT want to go to Disney World with this guy. Can you imagine what state he’d be in by the time he left It’s A Small World?
Unfortunately, I can.
Ummm, Florida?
Which means he would likely be all sweaty in that heat. Ewww.
But not as Ewwwwy as his fantasy. Double ewwww.
My Weird-Shit-O-Meter is pegged in the red.
I can’t even respond.
It’s a TRAP!!! Abort!!! Abort!!!!!
Clever girl!
Amen, sister. I’ve got a pretty high weirdness threshold, but this is a whole ‘nother level of WTF.
There are worse things, like “Seeking Purple Dinosaur”
You should see my significant other dance the robot! Now that is a weird and wild animatronic experience! Though he is a real person. Honest.
CLOSED FOR REPAIRS
C “From Behind….Suddenly-is NOT to be taken literally!” J is temporarily closed for repairs.
We here at YSaC care about the safety of all who patronize this website. C “From Behind….Suddenly-is NOT to be taken literally!” J will be reopened shortly. Please enjoy our many other responders. If you have questions concerning this particular responder, please visit our customer service representative, Windrose. You can also submit Queries and complaints in writing to llamanunatBBUYdotcom.
We are sorry for the inconvenience.
Note: Windrose is only available between the hours of Noon and One, MPT, unless a sudden coffee break comes on. Leave your message after the beep. *BEEEEEEEEEEEP*
But, but – What do we do? While we’re waiting for C “From Behind….Suddenly-is NOT to be taken literally!” J to come back up? Find a substitute? I don’t think I’ll be happy with an off brand. I think an alternate snarker will give me a rash.
Yes, I’m feeling itchy already. Damn! This always happens when I’m out of my prescription.
I’d be off to be a dino, a dino with oversized jaws.
I know about rhinos and pygmy albinos,
and cute little kitties with claws.
But hell if I know of robotic dinos
to play a senario with some spark and I. No!
Because, because, because, because, because,
this little plan has to many flaws.
I’d be off to be a dino, a dino with oversized jaws.
Flinging doors as fast as possible, One!
So, an animatronic dinosaur bumps into a matronic dinosa-
I think that only works if it’s an antimatronic dinosaur.
Don’t cross the Apatosaur!
I didn’t know Judd Apatow was that old – and curmudgeonly. Hm.
Wow, just had one of those ‘moments’–where [parent] sits down with their get, and has that pterodactyls and bee-cognates “talk”; “Now [offspring type], when an animatronic and a human lover each other very much . . . ”
The moment has passed; but not my day at work–could some one push the clutch in so Monday could be in a higher gear, please?
I fear this is gonna be an overflowing-corner kinda day. Way to start off the week with a Rowr, dear Llamanun. 😀
My work here is done.
Rowr.
“The Bees Rawr”–isn’t that a concerto by Disnosaur?
Or was it that Racy man Off?
Concerto in Disnosaur minor for tuba and Hammond organ.
“Tuba-lizard”–Is that pronounced “Raymond Luxury-yacht”?
Tricerontops.
[tosses torosaurus out there and flees the ensuing melee of paleontologists]
The trouble with animatronic dinosaur fantasies is that they don’t take into account a reptile dysfunction.
Oh, how I wish I had thought of that.
Yeah, when the hydraulics break down you’re just left with a big limp-lizard.
HEY!
“Drain the lizard” now acquires an entirely new connotation.
The importance of regularly flushing and tuning up your lizard should not be understated. It’s even more important to make sure that the person who handles your lizard is certified to do so.
I am not the animatronic dinosaur. I am the babysitter. You can still be the helpless child, but the visitor jeep must be covered in bees. Convo me.
I am potato. You dig?
“Disnosaur”
Disney did not do Jurassic Park, Universal Studios did. Sparky/ette seems to know little about what s/he is turned on by, but expects responders to do their homework to get it right.
I hate homework. Can I get someone on Craig’s List to do it for me?
“Dis no sore?”
“It will be!”
<Ow, corner!>
Windrose: Corner free for two weeks!
What is puzzling me is the – 36 in the listing. Does Sparky require 36 like-minded people to become the animatronic dinosaur? Doesn’t that become a ‘dino-orgy’?
Maybe Sparkles has one of those transforming mecha-thingies (whose name escapes me at the moment) where a bunch of smaller robots join together to make a bigger one.
*snort* I’m picturing robot p0rn.
Google apparently shares your interests, judging by what it kept showing me while I was trying to find the name of the blasted things.
You’re looking for the word “Zord.”
And yes, I’m ashamed that I knew that.
Yes, Zord! That’s the one!
Now I’m kinda sad, too.
Or Voltron. Though that’s robot lions making one big robot.
Uh, do you mean Transformers?
While helplessly stuck at my mercy you’ll peep.
My oversized jaws come at you so you’ll weep.
What’s that do you say.
Why did I move away?
‘Cause a lawyer on a john, be worth two in a jeep.
We’re off to be the lizard.
Lizard and Fish, Punchity Punch Punch!
Buenos Dias, Isla Nublar!
I’M HAVING A LOST SKELETON PARTY THIS FRIDAY
WHAT EVEN IS
…EVEN GETS!!
This seems remarkably similar to a listing that popped up on Regretsy the other day – http://www.regretsy.com/2012/06/02/ive-got-your-skyward-sword-right-here/. The combination of oddly specific pop culture-related kink and demands for exactness (make sure you’ve watched the video or played the game first, folks!) makes me think that maybe someone really IS doing some research on the field of Craigslist… Or that there’s a whole lot of nerd sex culture out there that I’m not familiar with. Actually, that second one is probably more likely.