=========== Shaving Queen Needed 150 ===========
Looking to find some one who can shave my privet area every Two weeks.Pay is 150 each Time
Must be 18+
Ladies Only
Must send pic and a number
I’m going to need a bigger razor.
And I’m just going to leave this here, just in case:
http://youtu.be/MvFSgXpyhoM
Thanks, Mike!
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Shaving Queen? Hopefully someone who shaves pretty fast, it’s gonna be a race who finishes first.
Would simple nobility suffice, say a Duchess, or Countessa?
And 150 of what, exactly?
If the, ah, ahem [koff koff] topiary requires trimming every fortnight (perhaps reducing the Miracle-Gro is in order), just how Ilex vomitoria is it to offer/tempt/require 150 Kwatloo per visit?
Which is some serious lucre, 150 * 26 = 3900 per annum. Said sum buying quite a lot of laser-created permanence, I’m reliably told.
That being said, my vote is that this is yet another poorly concealed Professional Services ad. It is a sad comment on our times that a Shrubber cannot simply be hailed on the street and contracted for; whether a split-level effect is desired or not . . .
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Shaving Queen
You’re a teaser, you turn ’em on
Leave them burning and then you’re gone….
Contact Dudley Dursley, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey.
You are the shaving queen, but you must be over 18.
Shaving queen, make my privet hedge look so keen.
Bring me a shrubbery!
Snort. Bushes. Heh heh. Snicker.
Roger the Shrubber–full name or instruction?
It is a rainy day here in the northeast, and I am now dancing around to Dancing Queen (not very well). If I do this with a razor in my hand, will I perchance be the Shaving Queen? Wait…does this mean I have to be a tranny?
I’m pretty sure that all drag queens who haven’t had permanent hair-removal done are, therefore, shaving queens at some point, although why that should matter to Sparky when he wants them to do outdoor landscaping mystifies me. I mean, a drag king might at least be dressed more appropriately.
I’m imagining a really really big Sparky. Like, so big he can’t do this chore for himself. That vision, mixed with the smell of someone on the other side of the office setting toast on fire, has pushed me past feeling “oogie” to nauseous.
Thanks, YSaC!
We’re helpers like that!
Is it a toast fire, or a (get ready for a retro earworm) Bushfiiiire?
These guys here kill me with their stinky food early in the AM. I’m telling ya, one day I’m bringing in a big old tuna sandwich that I’ve left in my car all weekend and just slapping it on my desk. Yeah. Look for me on Passive Aggressive Notes!
Shaving Queen for privet area = bush whacker.
I’ll be in the corner. Someone send coffee slices.
Those who prefer to be truly privet call it “Hand-scaping”.
Shaving Queen is IF’s Razor cover band.
We have a regular battle of the bands with Map of Tasmania, my Amanda Palmer cover band. (I do lots of running across the stage.)
Please note: that link is BY NO MEANS work-safe. But it’s totally worth it.
I’m ready to leave work now and start growing some armpit hair!
8)
*Revs up the weed whacker*
And I’m ready to deal with Mudsy’s armpit hair.
I see monkey knots!!
You mean one of these?
“monkey knots”
Whu-AT?! ‘Scuse me? Don’t make me start flingin’!
When we were kids we would rub our hands on someone’s hairy arm really fast in a circle until their hair knotted up.
We always called them monkey knots.
Is that more or less agressive than an indian sunburn?
Monkey knots/Indian sunburn. I’m sure it was all sprung from a racism that was totally lost on a six year old’s thought process.
You are the shaving queen, young and sweet!
Only 17?
*shakes cane*
Get off my lawn!
“I’m burning!”
“Oops, you must be having an allergic reaction to the Nair. Go to the ER if it gets too bad. Well, see ya!”
I never said I was the *shaving* queen.
Nair is for pussies. Now hair removal by radiation exposure? That’s hardcore, and doesn’t smell as bad (well, at least until your flesh starts to rot).
Not sure Nair is really for pussies. My privets can burn just as easily as yours.
It is so for pussies. Every cat I’ve ever owned has sworn by the stuff.
No, not “by” -“at”, “sworn at” (hissed, spit, yowled, etc.)
Every cat I’ve ever owned has sworn at the stuff.
There, I fixed it for you. You’re welcome.
*cowering in corner of box*
Mama Windy, this purple fish keeps staring at me! Like, maybe it’s imagining what I look like nekkid!
I’m still bopping around in my bowl to ABBA today. Try getting Dancing Queen out of your head. Try, damn it!
you are a little hairy though, funny monkey!
Funky, settle down. Wanda is a beta, not a piranha. Just don’t stand on the blue rocks. Or was it the pink ones?
I only stare at men. I am a gay male fish. (That is getting confusing, isn’t it?)
Um, er…
*checks privates*
Whew. I’m okay.
Wait, wait, I know this song.
Let’s see, how did that chorus go again?
I’m your privet shaver.
A shaver for money.
I’ll shave where you want something ‘new’.
I’m your privet shaver.
A shaver for money.
And any old hedge fund will do.
I’ve had ABBA and B-52’s earworms all day. Thank you for the replacement (I think).
Wanda, Funky, I’m glad to see you settled your differences and had a lovely day with each other in the box. Wait, you can’t put me in the corner! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Tool Time!