YSaC, Vol. 1244: A Men’s Rhea.

2012 May 3

Bless you – $110


This is a oil painting that I have done my self, that mean I am the artist of this painting. This is a blessed painting that I really like.
It’s a 12/16 canvas and I made it last year. I have it hanging on my wall to make sure itself and stay fresh and looking good.
the shipment price will be $10 US dollars so all together the price will be $110.00 US
The payment will be ether made by pay pal. I don’t want any Via chicks of any kind

This is some snark that I wrote myself. That means I am the author of the snark. Apparently, “blessed” is a euphemism for “appears to have been created by a five year old.”

If the painting is 12/16 canvas, what’s the other 1/4 made of?

Also, if you don’t want any Via chicks, how about Rhea chicks? They’re adorable!

Thanks for the post, John!

41 Responses leave one →
  1. 2012 May 3
    CapnMac permalink

    Miss [koff] Elk [koff] is that [koffkoff] you?[kaaheeew!]

    One suspects that quite a lot of ether is associated with the remuneration our artiste garners.

    [e-payment corey]
    If, in fact, our vendor here is objecting to “VISA™” checks, that suggests they have not experienced the fun and joy of Western Union transfers–which are worth far less than the ether they are made of. That is, unless this is a less-well executed “over-pay and return the balance” scams. (The normal method is that some payment is made, far in excess of the price, and the emptor is to “refund” the difference to vendor; only to find that the original payment vehicle is entirely fictitious.) Which suggests either that “the marks” have “gotten wise” or that sparkii are as incompetent at crime (q.v. Dinsdale Brothers) as at any other task.
    [/corey]

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 May 3

      You beat me to the Miss Anne Elk reference. That is the comment that I have and which is mine and what it is, too.

      Adores: 1
    • 2012 May 3
      camille permalink

      Both of you beat me to what I was going to say. And it’s mine.

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 May 3
        [Miss] Anne Elk permalink

        But, is it thinner at one end, then gets biggger in the middle, and then becomes thinner again at the end?
        If so [koff], it is mine [koffkoff]. That is to say it [koff] belongs to me [koffkoff].

        Adores: 1
    • 2012 May 3

      *hangs head in shame*

      I had to ask Uncle Google who “Anne Elk” was.

      After reading the script, and drying the laugh-induced tears, I realized that Ms. Elk must be related to Luther Heggs.

      Adores: 3
      • 2012 May 3
        mud "" slicker permalink

        *hangs head in shame*

        I had to ask Uncle Google who “Luther Heggs” was.

        After reading the Wiki entry, I realized that Luther Heggs was related to the subject of chickens (“What came first, the chicken or the heggs?”).

        Adores: 1
        • 2012 May 3

          And, I think, his speech patterns/thought processes were remarkably similar to Ms. Elk’s.

          Adores: 1
        • 2012 May 3
          P-rex permalink

          As to the question, “what came first, the chicken or the egg?” since chickens don’t get laid, but eggs do, then the answer must be the egg.

          Adores: 0
        • 2012 May 3

          since chickens don’t get laid

          If you have a rooster, or exceptionally open-minded duck, they do.

          Adores: 3
  2. 2012 May 3

    I don’t appear to have any ether left to buy this painting, but I do have some effluvium sitting around somewhere.

    Adores: 3
    • 2012 May 3
      wanda permalink

      Grrr…What time do you have to get up in the morning to beat everyone to the good ether snark? Owl chicks are so quick.

      Adores: 4
      • 2012 May 3
        Digitalaxis permalink

        That’s right, it’s the new Ether(C) by PayPal (TM). For when over-the-air transactions aren’t good enough at letting us freeze your assets (off).

        Adores: 2
  3. 2012 May 3

    This is a comment that I have done my self, that mean I am the poster of this comment. This is a blessed comment that I really like.
    It’s a 12/16 (and 2/3) comment and I made it last year. I have it hanging on my dangling participles to make sure itself and stay fresh and looking good.
    the comment price will be $10 US dollars so all together the price will be $110.00 US
    The payment will be ether made by pal pal. I don’t want any Via chicks of any kind – except cute little yellow chicks that can be later eated.

    Adores: 3
  4. 2012 May 3
    Lara permalink

    I’m just glad he made sure itself. So often, artists don’t, and you can really tell the difference.

    Adores: 2
  5. 2012 May 3

    I have Sotheby’s on line 8 for you. I’m pretty sure they don’t use Via chicks either.

    Adores: 2
  6. 2012 May 3

    Too bad that’s not a cake. It looks delicious.

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 May 3
      wanda permalink

      I was thinking of CakeWrecks myself, though why was the stake driven into the heart?

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 May 3
        funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

        ‘Cause besides being a Christian artist Sparky is also a Nazareth fan and wants you to remember that “Love Hurts”.

        Adores: 2
        • 2012 May 3

          Also “Love is Sometimes Itchy” – as represented by the bunch of poison ivy leaves off to one side.

          Adores: 2
  7. 2012 May 3
    Ralph permalink

    This Via chick looks more artistic than Sparky’s blessed efforts.

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 May 3
      SpaceBug permalink

      The subject often looks better than Sparks’ attempts at be still my art.

      Adores: 0
  8. 2012 May 3

    payment will be ether

    Wait, people will give you drugs for bad art?

    :draws several smiley faces on an old board with a Sharpie:

    I’ll be right back.

    Adores: 9
  9. 2012 May 3
    wanda permalink

    I think this one could aptly be titled “The Scream” also, for different reasons.

    Adores: 2
  10. 2012 May 3

    I think sparky shouldn’t quit his day job.

    Adores: 2
  11. 2012 May 3
    funky "looking innuendo" monkey permalink

    Come on now! Y’all are being a little hard on the Sparky. Look how s/he used the paint in a way that gave dimension to the “d” in “God”! This is practically Van Gogh’s Starry Night! $110 US ether made by pay pal is a STEAL!

    Adores: 2
    • 2012 May 3
      Brer Fox permalink

      *snickers*
      You said,” a little hard on”.

      Adores: 0
  12. 2012 May 3
    Digitalaxis permalink

    “I have it hanging on my wall to make sure itself and stay fresh and looking good.”

    The artist is either so paranoid or has such short-term memory loss that they need it to keep hanging to make sure it still exists? And they’re apparently retouching the paint every so often. Are they going to break into your house to retouch it, or will they forget it ever existed and not claim payment?

    I don’t think this sale is going to work out so well.

    Adores: 3
  13. 2012 May 3

    Here I sit, broken-hearted,
    Wanted to paint but only made this beautiful blessed mess. That cross looks more like the hilt of a sword. I think I better stop now.

    Adores: 1
  14. 2012 May 3
    camille permalink

    I suppose it might be a useful painting to have around if you sneeze a lot.

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 May 3
      Not-a-[censored] Lion permalink

      I had a friend that when he got blessed for sneezing would say,”I don’t want to be blessed, I want to be gesundheited.

      Adores: 2
  15. 2012 May 3
    Not-a-[censored] Lion permalink

    [matt] Like, you people are so mean. It’s obvious this person has had a real rough time. She just doesn’t want the payment to be made by some chick, you know? There is a reason it’s called PayPal, not PayGal, for sure. She wants a MAN, desperately, to come, and rescue from her plight and stuff and pay her for what she has done. She’s had this dead oil painting hanging on her wall(it’s supposed to look like a suicide) for a year and it is, like, getting difficult to keep the body of the painting looking fresh. thats why it’s only 12/16 there. She has been vacuuming up the parts that are falling off. She wants a man for this because chicks tend to be more sensitive about stuff and some junk and she doesn’t want anyone calling the cops. She doesn’t like the idea of seducing a woman to get rid of the evidence….Oh, I mean ewww. What am I saying? Like, this person is sick! Like totally…ew! UN[/matt], UN[/matt]! Somebody call CSI or something! Gag me, like this is horrible to do to a painting! Somebody should like totally do something or some junk!

    I’m like totally sorry I came down on you guys so hard, you know? Can you like, forgive me?

    *tears*

    Adores: 4
  16. 2012 May 3
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Am I imagining this, or does this oil painting have a photo finish? Maybe it’s caused by my computer screen.

    Adores: 2
  17. 2012 May 3
    Kaziganthi permalink

    Bees be upon you

    http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Slideshows/_production/ss-120501-AT/ss-120501-AT-03.ss_full.jpg

    Adores: 1
    • 2012 May 3

      Ahhh! That one is mooning me!

      Adores: 1
      • 2012 May 3
        One Moving Violation permalink

        Eric! You stop moonin over ghostcat!
        Sorry about that, he’s a bit off you know, had an accident.
        He’s pinin’.

        Adores: 0
  18. 2012 May 3
    kelli permalink

    This is my comment. It was made by me, not you, for you could not be me as I am me and I am the only me as there can only be one me and that me cannot be you because you are not me. And now I have MojoJojo’s voice in my head.

    Adores: 2
  19. 2012 May 4
    April Q permalink

    That doesn’t even look like oil paint to me… it looks like marker…

    Adores: 2
  20. 2012 May 4

    Ghostcat and kelli not-a-cat, Punchity Punch Punch! May the fourth be with you.

    Good Morning, Bob Ross!

    Adores: 0

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