YSaC, Vol. 1231: Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Hydrangeaphone!
!!! Nice Plants. Very Reasonable!! While they last! Some $1 Bulbs too – $2
Will remove ad when gone.
Fire cracker bulbs (30!) or Giant white iris bulbs (4) —for $$2!!
Hydrangia – small to very small $6 – $3
Palm -$25
Lilies of the nile -large – $12
large mature day lilies $10
Jade $5…
Drmk had a Palm device for quite a while. They were quite advanced for their time. However, they failed to keep up with the times, and sadly, the company is now defunct.
This photo depicts one of their last, failed attempts to maintain profitability – the perennial cell phone. You would buy two cell phones to start, use one of them, and plant the other one. Your contract was timed to expire at just the time the next phone bloomed. Then you would plant the old one, activate the new one, and the great cycle of life would continue. (I think plankton was also involved in some way.)
The beauty of this plan was that each new generation of phone would evolve the latest new features, so you had the entire cycle of renewal, replacement, and upgrade, taken care of in one small pot.
The only drawback of this plan is that only an idiot would think that putting a cell phone in a flowerpot full of dirt makes any sense at all.
Thanks for the post, MsMarvel!
Putting a cell phone in a flowerpot makes sense if you know how the device got its name: Pot the Palm. Pile it with dirt.
I’m commenting using my laptop, but my phone is involved. Is that ok? Or should I just be using my phone so that I seem more qualified to talk about this ad?
Try commenting using your azaleas
He’d get a better signal with sunflowers.
Alaxander Graham Bluebells.
Just make sure you push the right (bachelors) buttons.
Hey lady, nice plants!
*SLAP*
Ow! That wasn’t very reasonable.
Lady: Sure it was, I used my palm, now give me $25.
Mmmmm, I love Blackberries!
Sparky did find it strange when his friends told him to make a picture of the plants with his phone. How does that help? Now let’s hope this stuff sells, the new camera Sparky bought to take picture was expensive.
Ditto
Richard Attenborough voiceover
Here we see the elusive, mature (as determined by the wear to its case) mobile phone, nestling among the domestic succulent plants …
Audrey II has learned to call for takeout rather than rely on Seymour. Ya’ll better not answer your phones.
Phone me, Seymour. Phone me aaaaallll niiiiiiiiight looooooooooong….
That’s the only musical for which I’ve played in the pit for three separate productions.
Feeding Audrey II. There’s an app for that.
That’s okay, I don’t work in the self service industry, I’m safe.
Silly Sparky, that looks like an HTC, not a Palm. HTC’s are notorious for their exacting dormancy requirements and do not do at all well in the same soil as those other plants in the picture.
Looks like an HTC T-Mobile Shadow (Windows Mobile) to me.
As her kids grew up and moved out, Marjorie began to tend more and more to her small garden, nurturing and growing her beautiful plants. It gave her joy, a sense of accomplishment, and she became quite adept at producing gorgeous flowers. As her reputation and her arboretum grew, her neighbors pushed her to start a business selling her palms and lilies. Soon, even her green children were moving away… and despite her best efforts, they never called either.
I knew some people talked to their plants. I didn’t know they also got them a long distance plan.
Oh, mah, gawd! I hate it when my flower beds break out in phones. I spray and hoe and spray, and nothing helps. Maybe I should invest in a scarephone.
What’s that? One of those big, black rotary-dial babies?
Either that or one of those with the blinged out covers. You know the ones, their owners always have the long talon nails. And Cheeto tans.
Lola: I joke with my mother that she needs a rotary cell phone. She doesn’t disagree. She has a hard time with technology, even for a lady in her mid-60s. Bless her.
I had a panicky moment this weekend when I tried to answer my Mom’s cell phone – I have an old-fashioned flip phone and she has a new-fangled smart phone.I got so frustrated I just started poking the screen randomly and shaking the thing, which surprisingly didn’t not help at all.
*(Monday confessional)*
Occasionally, I will hold my smartphone up to my ear before placing a call. I am listening for the dial tone. sigh
ghostie: “Well bless its little heart….”
*Lifts up mouse to speak into.
Hello, computer.
*Nothing
Hello, computer
*Nothing
Crap, I came from the 23rd century for this?
Bianchi – for the Scotty ref I heart you..I heart you long time.
…and then Bianchi cat ate said mouse.
The end.
Bianchi: *burp*
Well, I suppose if you plant your phone in the ground you never have to worry about roaming charges.
See, I tried that plan Dan’s talking about but I kept forgetting to water the phone and the new one never sprouted.
Hm. Or maybe it was that I did water the phone and the electrical fire burned the house down.
I’m pretty sure it was one of those.
Sure. Sure. Blame it on the Talking Heads…
or is Electrical Fire your ELO and Talking Heads polka band?
mudsy, you finally found the explanation for the lederhosen!
It’s the data plants that are really expensive, honestly.
Except in the cases of landslides and earthquakes
They make cases for those? I’m perfectly happy with my iSkin.
I don’t think I ever dropped my iPhone…until I got the *brilliant* idea to buy an OtterBox for it.
Now, I drop it on a regular basis.
On the plus side, those OtterBoxes are tough muthahs.
All the cool kids nowadays have lacawates valtrus-suka phones.
camille, I wish I could cheat and give you elebenty million doors for that comment! 8)
At least Sparky didn’t put the phone in an aquarium — that would have been cell fish.
I shipped a phone to Brother Monkey, who’s doing 3-5 for stealing bananas. He now truly has a cell phone. Hope he don’t get caught with it.
I love your family, funky. 8)
There’s never a dull moment around them. You should come to a reunion sometime. It’s a poo-flingin’ festivial. Like LalapaPOOza.
More like a reonion….
Should be an interesting day in the box. 8)
We’ll go bug hunting.
Wait, what kinda bugs you huntin’?
Space Bug, I’m sure P-Rex will exclude present company. Okay, nearly sure.
You’re safe. They don’t make tiny eight legged space suits.
*stab the handily available android into the pot dirt/dirty pot*
Perhaps it’s there for scale? If so, there are lotions for that!
(good thing he didn’t pick the .38)
Which leaves us a question: “Is there an Ap for that?”
Which then needs sorting into “iOS; ‘Droid; or W8?”
(had heard that there is a rotary dial image for iOS phones–but it could never have that feel of the not-quite-sharp edge of the dial against your finger; nor the tactile feel of the pawl going around)
Pawl….wasn’t he one of the Apostles?
We have an old rotary phone upstairs as a back-up phone that absolutely baffles my nephew. He’s tried to use it a couple of times and usually ends up getting frustrated and going downstairs to find the other phone.
This is brilliant, actually. Sparky’s Mandrake Roots can now cure basilisk-induced petrification remotely.
Rule #34 should apply to ^^* this *^^
[tangentially-related story]
Was doing my construction supervisor thing, building a building. It was the day we were pouring concrete into 24′ deep drilled pier holes. The Project Manager for the concrete guys was using his tape measure to show the City Inspector that the hole was deep enough.
There was some joking about not dropping the tape measure into the hole. It’s a job site, such japery and jocularity are commonplace.
What was less funny was that as the concrete was being pumped into the hole, the PM’s brand-new (replacement) push-to-talk cell phone popped out of its holder as said worthy leaned over to check how full the bore was (you pour a certain depth, then use a vibrating device to settle the concrete upon its own voids and to fully fill the volume).
This was equal parts hilarious and woeful; many that day walked around with one hand on their phone (particularly those issued by an employer).
I’m still half-curious whether that phone is still down there, ringing . . .
[/topic]
Back in the day of beepers, I dropped my company beeper in the potty (I knocked it off my belt loop as I reached for the potty flusher button thingy and down it went). And I just neglected to tell my boss until the next day. So at least for that night, if someone paged me, only the sewer system could respond. And I immensely enjoyed watching it disappear. Hated the damned thing.
And I don’t feel safe anymore.
Oh what a mess.
I wonder what’s watching me now.
(what?)
The I R I S ?
The phone in the picture is a T-Mobile Wing, made by HTC – NOT a Palm. I don’t see anything strange about the picture, as the ad is obviously using the phone as a way to judge the size of the plants. Much like placing a coin next to an object for a size reference. Granted, the seller could have chosen something else to reference the size with, but a phone works just as well as a coin (better in this case, since the coin would likely have been too small to see).
CatBug, you are going to need these: A whole bunch of (corey) (/corey) tags, until you catch on. 8) Hope you stay around long enough to get the joke, and yes, an old wooden ruler would have been the indisputable best item to use. But, then again, size isn’t everything.
*hands cocktails to catatonicbug and dan*
Here’s some palm wine with a spritz of seltzer and garnished with a twist of lime. Enjoy with a dash of satire!
Of course it’s a Palm — it’s for sale right there in the ad!*
*For the humor impaired.
YSaC 12 step program for the Humor Impaired. First, you must acknowledge that you have a problem. Go ahead, we’ll wait.
One and P, here are your totally separate, individual, or your money back guaranteed, Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Nuclear Wessels!