YSaC, Vol. 1219: Dammit Heidi, I wanted a Plymouth Barracuda!
2012 March 29
Car
Car for seal
Thanks, Andrew!
71 Responses
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Exactly what it says on the tin.
Not.A.Lion!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
Talk amongst yourselves …
WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition.
[…] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at…2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all!
[…] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […]bianchisound on YSaC, Vol CXCII
In case anyone ever checks. I just saw this ad and missed everyone here. Enjoy! https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/pho/d/nellis-afb-womans-feet/7164431024.htmlDecelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1800: So long, and thanks for all the bees.
Wow, itās amazing to finally find this site. Iād say Iām late in getting here, but I know Iām right…Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring.
I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere…
It’s the little ol’ pinniped from Pasedena!
(Go Finny, Go Finny, Go Finny, Go!)
Dang! I read it as an even swap arrangement. Flipper here is bleeding me dry with the rising price of seafood.
Oh, wait. I guess I am seafood.
Did you do that on porpoise?
Holy mackerel, y’all! It’s too early for puns.
PS: Great. I posted before I got down to Grampdaddy’s mackerel comment. Tuna in later to see me make a bigger ass of myself!
*hands funky the magnifying mirror*
FM’s gonna turn herself into a donkey!!! Wheeeee! I love magic shows!
The only song that the car radio plays is “Kiss from a Rose.”
And it comes with a mackerel air freshener.
Which all leads to a transcendental experience: “Holy Mackerel, it’s Not – a – (Sea) – Lion!
š
*hastily composes e-mail to the whoevers that go out every year and attempt to stop the whatevers from killing the baby seals, telling them to simply play the Seal song in an endless loop and the whatevers’ heads will explode like so much green goo*
Thanks Dave, you saved lives today!
Asymptote of meta [falls over]
Capn – I’m worried about you..what with the amount of falling over and word fails you’ve been experiencing lately.
You’ve either consumed too much of the good stuff…or not enough.
I’m worried too. Maybe we should pass the hat, in case he needs some sort of transplant.
*scratches in pockets*
I can donate $2, some bbq sunflower seeds, Juicy Fruit gum, Chapstick, and some eyedrops.
I have a used tissue, 46 cents, and a broken Richard Simmons’ CD. Wait, what’s this? Oh. Something I found in the bottom of a bird cage. I’ll, er, dispose of that quietly.
Hmmm, I have some herring, kelp, and whatever is in this locker that belonged to someone named Davy Jones…
He’s definitely at risk for a stroke of the pen.
Isn’t Asymptote of Meta IF’s ironic hipster band? Not that I’d have heard of it, of course.
I liked them before I was cool.
I sympathize with Sparky. I’ve always wanted a seal. It would live in my bathtub. Alternatively, I’d like a penguin.
I may have a seal, what car will you trade for it? If you don’t have a good enough car, I’m trading with Sparky.
Actually, I don’t have a car at all – I’m one of those New Yorkers who doesn’t drive. So I guess my dreams of seal-ownership will remain unfulfilled.
Now what can I swap you for that penguin?
“one of those New Yorkers who doesnāt drive”
Hey, there are lots of Tennesseans that don’t drive, but boy howdy that doesn’t stop them from getting behind the wheel.
Yeah, that’s pretty much why I quit – as a public service to the rest of humanity. At least I’m a self-aware bad driver.
Penguins are adorable. But the poop factor seems to be high from what I’ve seen at the local aquariums. If only they could learn to use the litterbox.
I’d tether my penguin out in the yard.
And then you’d have a whole bunch of them, ‘cuz “Birds on a tether flock together”.
Ben Franklin said that.*
*This may not be true.
That’s good to know. I thought I’d heard it was hard to get them to do that in captivity.
Flock, that is.
If you put the penguin or seal in the bathtub, where will the pony live?
All the Killer Whales drive ’65 GTOs – that seal is gonna be somebody’s appetizer.
Ooo, ooo – did the seal have that ‘vette fitted with paddle shifters? (Note: you may need to be a gear-head….)
Hop in my car, it’s as big as a whale, and it’s about to set sail!
Glitter on the… tail fin?
But what if I want a car with a porpoise?
That’s not just ANY Corvette…
Shifty Seals is IF’s Modest Mouse knock-off band.
I am so dying to see if I can eventually find a kit to retro fit paddle shifters into my ’71 Camaro. Probably cost more thatn a transmission though…
Apparently he’s stopping to pick up the slice of pizza on the road. (Must have anchovies.)
Brings a whole new meaning to car club…
Bad Hammy! *grabs the rolled-up newspaper*
I see blood on the ice…
No belly rubs for you.
Hammy, you’re gonna take a beating for that one.
Fur shame!
*Lifts up the hood*
*Taps on a few things with his wrench*
Welp, looks like you blew a seal.
…
I’ll be in the corner.
And the penguin said, “No, really – it’s just ice cream.”
MagicalTaco, I do hope we are talking about the same joke. I’ll bring caramel sauce for the coffee slices – see you in the corner.
*Puts down his powdered donut*
No idea what you’re talking about, Gramps.
I don’t eith…… Hey, where’d you get a powdered donut?
*I could post the text of the entire joke…*
Well, fix the damned thing and keep my private life out of it, okay pal?
While you’re doing that, I’m going over to a place called the Oyster Bar.
If it didn’t look like your avatar had blue buck-teeth, I’d run screaming…
I’m so happy someone has found a car for Seal. I’m sure his divorce is costing him a fortune. You know Heidi ain’t gonna go quietly.
So baby seals go clubbing and an adult seal goes cruising?
Mr. Bianchi Sound, it’s good to see you in the box again. Don’t be a stranger! A stalker is okay, but not a stranger.
But around here, every commenter is stranger than the next.
By the way, I like what you’ve done with the place. Maybe I’ll pitch a tent.
I know a great place you can get one…name’s Compty-something or other.
Stranger? I barely knew ‘er!
Is it a seal of approval?
So if I respond to the ad, Heidi Klum will email me back? Sweet!
So why, for all that is heidi-seal, do I only focus on the pizza slice-thingy in the road in that picture?
I can just see me driving down the Ventura Highway when a seal driving a ‘Vette goes by, and I think…”hmmm…wonder who left the pizza in the road…”
I know! That pizza slice made my tummy all rumbly and I had to go get a snack from the cafeteria. YSaC is making me fat!
Probably the same guy who left the cake out in the rain.
That jerk keeps wasting food.
I don’t think that I can take it, cuz it took so long to bake it!
Did he put the lime in the coconut too?
Well, she got her daddy’s car
And she cruised through the seafood stand, now
Seems she forgot all about the lie-berry
Like she told her old man, now
And with the radio blastin’ goes
Cruisin’ just as fast as she can, now
And she’ll have fun, fun, fun
‘Til her daddy takes the sea-bird away
(Fun, fun, fun, ’til her daddy takes the sea-bird away)
Well, the gulls can’t stand her
‘Cause she walks, looks, and drives like on ice, now
(You walk like on ice, now, you walk like on ice)
She makes the Indy 500 look like
A Roman chariot race, now
(You look like youāre on ice, now, you look like youāre on ice)
A lot of guise (hehe) try to catch her
But she leads ’em on a wild seal chase, now
(You drive like on ice, now, you drive like on ice)
And sheāll have fun, fun, fun
āTil her daddy takes the sea-bird away
(Fun, fun, fun, ātil her daddy takes the sea-bird away)
Well, you knew all along
That your pod was gettin’ wise to you, now
(You shouldn’t-a lied, now, you shouldn’t-a lied)
And since they took your set of keys
You been thinkin’ that your fur is soaked through now
(You shouldn’t-a lied, now, you shouldn’t-a lied)
But you can come along with me
‘Cause we gotta build a big igloo, now
(You shouldn’t-a lied, now, you shouldn’t-a lied)
And we’ll have fun, fun, fun
Now that Daddy took the seagull away
(Fun, fun, fun, now that Daddy took the sea-bird away)
Close the tags!
I did but put the slash after the “i”
*dote*
Thanks Thong Boy. š
I’m a helper!
Better a helper than a whelper.
š
Hey! All my best bitches are great whelpers.
Oh…leave it to the dog to jump in.
š
Hey, you gotta hand it to Hammy, he’s got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one…
grampdaddy’s joke.
Bianchi, I’ve unsealed the box. You may go about your business with this Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Mr. Jacques Cousteau