YSaC, Vol. 1215: A Bridge To Fur.
Let’s see – I don’t think we’ve pissed off PETA recently, so let’s give it a shot:
100 year Old Doug Furr End Tables – $130
The end tables are made of 100 year old Doug Furr that came from a dairy born built in 1908. They have been finished with two coats of hand rubbed oil. There are two of them one hinged with a right door, and one with a left door. The dimensions are 1′-4″ wide, 2′ deep, and 2′ tall. This handmade piece of furniture was made using modern construction techniques. They are $130 a piece or $240 for both. The overall quality of this item is superb!
One hundred year old Doug Furr? Must have grown back by now…
Douglas Fur
I have 30pcs of douglas fur that are 12″ x 3″ x 5′ they were reclaimed
from a stairway. They have black paint on each end that plained off when
run through my plainer. I am asking $3.00 per bf.
Well, there’s no way we’ll trick Douglas (so formal now) back into the shearing room a THIRD time, is there?
Free Fur Door
Fur door removed from bedroom. Measures 29 & 5/8 by 80 inches exact.
Now to be fair, fur doors are very important. You have to make sure they’re closed in case of fur. Just make sure Doug doesn’t have the key.
Thanks for the fur, sd and Erin!
[tiresome corey]
Phonetic Illiteracy has a long history; as does the linguistic practice of diminution to single syllables for common terms.
The evergreen conifer, Pseudotsuga menziesii, named after David Douglas has vexed botanists as well as sparkii.
Taxonomically, Mr. Douglas’ Fir is not a true member of Pinus, but a psuedo-hemlock (thus pseudotsuga).
That “fur” (and “furr”) are phonemes to “Fir” has confused many over the generations. As has remembering the possessive form of Douglas (aka Douglass<sic>).
There is an associated building term, referring to lightweight box framing covered in wall and ceiling finish materials, this is “furrdown.” The origins (and ‘correct’ spelling are of some debate in architectural circles. An alternate term is “soffit”–but this is incorrect without prefixing “interior” to the term. In Canadian usage, it is a “bulkhead” (aka ‘bulk’)–which is similarly flawed.
The space created is non-structural, and is often used to conceal utilities like electrical, plumbing, ductwork, etc.
Since this uses lightweight framing, it’s often co-mangled into “fir down” which is confusing if the framing material is actually poplar or galvanized framing.
None of which is helped by the fact that the lumberyards sell a number of species as being “Fir” (what the Norse deity makes of that is not recorded). To the point that the structural tables actually make reference to Douglas fir equivalent, which is a number of species of framing lumber, many non-coniferous (hemlock, and No. 1, The Larch).
[/corey]
Cap’n, you are a wealth of utterly esoteric knowledge.
He’s also a wealth of words and phrases that I can’t understand.
If I ever meet the Cap’n in person, I’m bringing along a dictionary.
I’m a lay man uh lei, um layman myself.
Well, those of us in the Architecture trade are expected to learn things.
Like can you use air-dried, high-moisture content, weed-grown Aspen and achieve the same strength of framing as using old-growth, kiln-dried, all-heartwood Spruce (or sugar pine). Or whether a specific SYP (southern yellow pine) equivalent exists for DF-rated construction specifications.
And, while sitting in class, all sorts of triva winds up in the curricula, Like Davy Douglass was of a taxonomic bent, and lubbed him some trees.
Or some such similar.
Now, I must back to ciphering masonry, ere I can leave early today.
“cyphering”
*sigh*fur.
Never mind me, I’m just pining fur the furords.
It is probably worth noting that there are two distinct genus of plants; one (in the family Apiaceae) for killing Socrates; one (Pinaceae) for beaning your little brother with pinecones.
And now, Number One: The Larch. The Larch
A larch by any any other name would
killsmell as sweet.A douglas by any other name would still be woody.
That fur door appears to be suffering from an advanced case of door-pattern baldness.
Ah, it got a Brazilian mahogany finish. (Yes, corner, I’m coming)
You took mine!
I’ll say it anyway: I like my doors like I like my walls, with that smooth Brazilian feel.
Oh, the corner has smooth Brazilian walls…
Good thing Bridgete’s not here, she might get mad if she saw everyone rubbing against the Brazilian.
I have a fur door, it’s in the back, and no, you can’t touch it.
it’s shedding
A fur door, hmm.
It would complete my fantasy shag-carpeted retro room so nicely.
(It has yet to be born built)
The fur end tables would perfect it.
That’s what I’m thinking. And a big bottle of Claritin for all the dust and dander.
Hmmm, furry fantasies?
Fur sure.
Fur out.
Fur peat’s sake, moss you continue?
FTW (fur the win!).
Isn’t Fur Door IF’s glam-rock tribute band?
Beasty Boys, The Animals, Josie and the Pussycats maybe?
You should hear our Psychedelic Furs/Doors medley. It’s to die fur.
Am I the only one to be wondering where Old Doug’s Furr Front is? Now I understand that Old Doug Furr Ends can be used as bicycle stands, but tables? The mind boggles.
But Douglas Fur never ends. You know how many cases of lint rollers I’ve gone through?
*Shows up in his squirrel costume*
Did somebody call me?
No. False Friday fur alarm. There is only Douglass.
His sister Lucy is on her way here.
I went to school with their older cousin, Jenna.
Friday?! Here I was thinking all day it was Fursday.
PS: Wait! This was supposed to go under Valarie! Furry fail!
Furget about it. FM’s fail is frightfully funny.
What The Fur?
FM, I say this now, aloud, in real life. Well played. *passes flask*
Ah, thanks. *tips flask* Oooo! A fuzzy navel!
:checks:
Yep, it is.
Stop that, Ghostie, that tickles!
One fur
Two fur
Doug fur
You fur
Fluffy Douggie was a fir.
Fluffy Douggie had no fur.
Fluffy Douggie wasn’t furry, were he?
So is it plainer when run through the planer? Do I get the black paint with each bf? (Capn, what’s a bf?)
I know that one! It’s “board foot”.
BF is me! And have I got some fur.
and here I thought it was bored fut…
Damn! Not a boy friend? Best friend?
*fish takes a beer*
Bored feet? Gnaw, I like to keep my paws busy.
Heh, heh
No no no. “BF” means…
“BITCH, FLEAS!!!”
1 bf(board foot) is a unit of measurement of wood that is 12 inches by 12 inches by 1 inch thick.
However, there is quite a bit of leeway in that depending on what mill or store you’re buying from. A “Finished” board foot is often smaller because of all the trimming, though often enough they just round up 3/4″ thickness to 1″ and call it good.
Asking how the mill measures your wood is as important as how much they charge per board foot, especially if you’re having them do the planing/jointing/straight rips.
I’m going to the corner early, because this can only degenerate once Hammy and One get here.
Quick! Everyone grab a can of beer and let’s talk about NASCAR!
*Snags a beer*
Yup them cars go’n roun’ tha’ turn there, roun’ tha’ turn, an’ roun’ tha’ turn right there.
Yup an’ them’n cars go’n roun’ tha’ turn there too, roun’ tha’ turn there too, roun’ tha’ turn.
:hangs sign reading “The Mill” in corner, hands Windy a tape measure:
Remember to round up!
I resemble that remark.
“shags a beer”
RM, that sounfs so perberted!
Does the mill floss the wood too?
Yes, I know…corner…
Wax on, wax off…
What? I’m waxing my board…
*takes up residence in the corner*
Kaz, be careful, you could end up with “two coats of hand rubbed oil”.
In this ad, bf is probably brown fur since blue fur is so rare, he would most likely ask alot more for that.
BF, in context, refers to the imaginary unit of measure known as a Board Foot.
This is a unit of measure which varies in ways almost all students believe to be for the deliberate mistreatment of students by examination.
A board-foot is that portion of a given bit of lumber which is proportional to 1728 cubic inches, specifically, a length of 12″, a width of 12″ and a thickness of 1″.
So, a 2 x 4 (which is really 1.5 x 3.5″) is ( 2 x 4) divided into (1 x 12) or 8/12, for 0.66 BF (per lineal foot). A 2 x 12 (actually 1.5 x 11.25″) is 2×12 / 1/12 or 24/12 or 2 BF per LF
Sparkii, however, often use “BF” to mean a 12″ length of whatever they have hacked from an otherwise defenseless tree.
I have a relative named Doug/las. The fur aspect is overrated. A guy with any other name is just as hairy.
FUR IS MURDER!
FREE IS FINE!
TOO IS COMPANY
ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER!
Yeah.
*sniff*
War is peace! Freedom is slavery! Furry is smooth!
Yeah
*sniiiiffff*
ACHOO!
“two coats of hand rubbed oil”
Heh. Heh heh.
Hey, knock it off!
Heh. heh.
Boy, I’d really like her to rub my oil, um fur I tell ya.
Yeah, I know, where’s that mongoose at?
My bedroom walls are white fur,
and all the trim is brown.
I did it all with bear paint,
my room is soft as down.
Now I will get a fur door,
and end tables to boot.
A not.a.lion rug on the floor.
That’s all my furry loot.
I am throwing a big fur door at you, OMV.
The door is fur free, and I would like to give it to ghosty today for her really bald statement.
While searching for a wombat emasculator, Doug came across a craigslist ad for ‘tools’.
After much ado, it was determined that ‘tools’ meant a keyhole saw and Doug was able to extricate hisself from the closed, free fur door. How the keyhole saw was delivered behind the doot remains a mystery.
Well, a mystery to Doug anyway as the door is free-standing; it is now known as a Doug free door.
Doot doot doo, looking out my back door.
Cold and drafty houses, rent them for free. Guaranteed furless.
For when your fur door is ajar…
I hate when my car tells me the door is a jar. It is not a jar! It’s a door!
😉
Hello, I’d like to buy a door license.
A what?
A door license, for my pet door, Douglas.
You named your door Douglas, Douglas door?
Yes, he’s a fur.
A fur?
Yes, I chose him out of thousands. didn’t like the others, they were all to flat.
You don’t need a door license.
I bloody well do, I have license for my pet dog Douglas, and I have a license for my pet dish Douglas.
Are all you fur doors named Douglas?
Yes.
You’re a looney.
There’s nothing wrong with that. I hear tell CL Sparky has a coat rack named Bedazzled. You wouldn’t call Sparky a loony.
Sure I would.
Today’s discussion is a free fur all. At least it’s not a fux fur; that would be a foe paw.
Mz. valarie ma’m, here’s your lovely parting Punchity Punch Punch! Thanks for playing!
Good morning, Furbanks!
And here I was, thinking it was illegal to turn old people into furniture. Poor Old Doug Furr from the dairy. May he rest in pieces.