YSaC, Vol. 1204: Truckin’.
1983 ford? van truck thing – $6000
ford caberliot onversion afun ride turns heads going down the road 460 power almost close to good on gas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ph#xxx-xxx-xxxx
It’s almost close to not entirely hideous, too. But it’s less almost close to that. This is like Ford’s answer to the Chevy El Camino (otherwise known as the world’s ugliest car/truck thing), except Ford decided that making a van/truck thing would be even more of a spectacularly bad idea.
Okay, so someone is going to post in the comments about how this particular Ford van truck thing is somehow ostensibly awesome because it has a built-in dual-cam overhead bivalve 16 gauge double barrel piston rotor engine mounted something or other, but there is NO. WAY. that you can convince me that this thing is anything other than a bad idea.
This is the product of two guys sitting around an oil barrel bonfire saying, “Well, what if you wanted to be able to haul sheets of plywood AND get laid in your truck at the same time? I know! Let’s cut the back half off of your van and build a velvet banquette seat into the cab of the truck!”
Thanks, J.Z.!
It’s almost a Van White — from the Wheel of Ford Hewn.
Wow. I just now got that. Pat, can I buy a derp?!
If that came past me I’d turn my head in a “WTF?” kind of way … rather than a “Oh! my golly gosh! what a superb example of vehicular excellence” way.
Or …ewee!! … does Sparkie 2 on the banquette actually ‘turn heads’?
Before my brain goes any further I’m off to the corner and I’m taking my radio with me because David Tennant is coming onto bbc radio 4 in 45 mins in a play about falling in love via emails. ’nuff said!
Sometimes being an American bites the big one.
ghostie, sometimes the BBC has such things on podcast. I have caught them, and regularly stream Radio 4 so I know we can get it here.
I’ll google around some when I get home where I have working speakers, it sounds interesting.
Yay, I think I found it!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01cwv4c
I think that Sparky had been drinking too much caberliot before coming up with this.
[Corey]The Chevy El Camino was GM’s answer to the Ford Ranchero.[/Corey]
Canyonero!
*impotently shakes puny fist at Dave and Ferret*
Dang! You took my caberliot joke. That was my first thought.
Not.a.caberliot?
Honda’s version is the Ridgeline. We own one, and it is the best little truck ever. Hubby is going to trade his little car in on one once we get this one paid off. It gets better gas mileage than his Suzuki hatchback, and is useful in just about any situation.
[corey] This is a factory built power unit for pulling a large fifth wheel horse trailer or large fifth wheel travel trailer. I have seen these at dealerships. I also had an employer who had one for his horse trailer on his ranch. The only time I ever saw him use it was to haul his yearlings to California every year. He could fit up to 24 yearlings in his trailer. The extended cab is intended to make the whole family comfortable. His was nicer and newer than this one.[/corey]
Yaay! I got to do a corey!
This vehicle is not intended to be used to cruise the main drag on a friday night.
You would just look like a dork with more money than brains.
And more brains than taste.
*looks at velvet lounge seat*
*shudders*
I just realized something weird. Since “el” is Spanish for “the”, when someone talks about “the Chevy El Camino” they are actually saying “the Chevy The Camino”. (“Camino”, incidentally, is the Spanish word for “fugly-ass vehicle”.)
Sort of like The La Brea Tar Pits. Or, translated into English, The The Tar Tar Pits.
…or chai tea – chai is russian for tea- so when someones asks for chai tea they are asking for tea tea…
And then they might have to tee-tee, from drinking too much tea tea.
My two least favorite phrases on the planet – “ATM machine” and “PIN number.”
Or the Para(river)guay(river) River(river).
“Look mum, I can see the River-river River from here!”
I like to do the River-river River Dance!
Oh Smedley! I think we’ve found your new ride!
And in this case it will look better after an accident … so, maybe not?
Let’s see a guard rail stand up to that! Wait, no, let’s not.
I’ll bring a bumper sticker!!!!
😀
I call foul! There are no seat belts coming out of the red(?) velvet. One quick stop and pow! The passenger/hostage hits the octagonal table.
Not if you securely
tiefasten yourvictimfriend to the seat supports bolted to the floor.Just tell him you are super cautious!
valarie you’re assuming that this thing actually goes forward.
*tisk tisk*
In 1983 Ford responded quickly to the gas crisis with their new sub-compact. They called it the Caberliot and it only had enough room to sit 18.
18 what? Bloodhounds? Bigfootii? Budweiser Clydesdales?
mudsy, I think it’s “Bigfooties.”
I was torn ghostie. Very, very torn.
According to the commercials I’ve seen for one of those Bigfoot-hunting shows, they also call them ” ‘squatches,” which sounds like something you’d need a prescription to get rid of.
“I gotta stop eating where Sparkies eat. I got a bad case of the squatches.”
Yeah, that’s pretty nasty.
The word just sounds so … itchy to me.
Sounds more like a diarrhea problem.
Van Truck Thing is IF’s Cars/Van Halen/The Thing mash-up cover band.
To the FrankenTruck!
It’s a vuck!
And also vucking ugly.
wait I thought it was a ‘tran’…
or…
It’s a trap!
Oil Barrel Bonfire is IF’s Southern Culture on the Skids cover band.
“ford caberliot onversion”
So what does the offversion look like? Does it get almost closer to good mileage?
This one looks pretty off to me.
You know what? I have neighbors/relatives that would totally cruise the strip in this. While hanging out the window periodically screaming, “Woo hoo!” Then they would pull over and tell you how they went about creating this beauty and how much it cost and what kind of action they get in it.
Are they from Vermont? We may have so much in common.
Nah, we’re from the hills o’ Tennessee. Where it’s not illegal for cousins to marry.
Would a couple of beer cans* come rolling out on to the asphalt as they got out of the cab?
*PBR of course!
Well I’m a runnin’ down the road try’n to flatten a toad
I’ve got seven brain cells in my mind
Four that want to stone me, two that want to stone me
One says pot’s a friend of mine
Toke it easy, toke it easy
Don’t let the sound of your own thoughts drive you crazy
Light one up while you still can
Wish this was a Chevy Van
Just find a place where you can stand, and toke it easy
Well, I’m a standin’ on a corner in Winslow, Arizona
Such a fine sight to see
I wanna hurl my Lord—-it’s a 1983 Ford?
Slowin’ down to catch a van-truck bee
Come on, baby, I got some May bees
I gotta know if your sweet ride is gonna save me
We may lose and we may win, but we will never see this again
So open up I’m climbin’ in, so toke it easy
Well, I’m a runnin’ down the road tryin’ to flatten a toad
Got a world of trouble on my mind
Lookin’ for a mutha’ who won’t blow my ____, it’s so hard to find
Toke it easy, toke it easy
Don’t let the sound of your own thoughts drive you crazy
Come on baby, I got some May bees
I gotta know if this sweet ride is gonna save me
*flicks the bic*
OW !
*activates lighter app on phone*
Rock on, baby!
Brilliant, mudsy! Just brilliant!
“Well I’m a runnin’ down the road try’n to flatten a toad”
It’s funny ’cause it’s just so wrong!
O/T: I’ve finally destroyed my keyboard at work. The keys are sticking cause I got food and crap stuck down in it. The control key was stuck and my keyboard wouldn’t work at all til I figured out what was going on and pried it up with a paperclip.
Sigh. I’m going to have to call my IT guy. He hates me so bad.
Get yourself some air-in-a-can and blow the sh*t out of that
pecilkeyboard!Monkey, you need a keyboard condom. I am at work or I would find the link.
You can also pop the keys off of the board and wash them in a dishsoap/water solution. or just clean thoroughly with alcohol prep pads.
MandaB, I have some special items in the box just for you today! There’s some books about fish and a stinky skunk. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 8) Enjoy!
Ooooh, the sweet smell of skunk musk.
*sniiiiffff*
Mmmmmmmmm, sexxxy.
Oooh, look at the nice counters Ralph installed. You can barely see them under all this stuff. Nice job, Ralph! Disapproving Baby approves and there’s nothing fishy about that.
Wha??? What is wrong with fishy?
What a long strange trip it’s been.
“almost close to good on gas”
Yes, if that gas is nitrous oxide.
Everything’s good on nitrous!
It so very, very nearly gets gas mileage.
I’d like to challenge it and the winter bagel to a drag* race….
*sexy glitz clothes only! 😛
I am all for equality and I am pleased to see you supporting the vansgendered vehicle community, mudsy!
Bravo Manda! Oh, and BTW…Happy Burfday!!!
*hugs*
This looks like a vehicle that would get gpm: gallons per mile.
That [Zap Brannigan] velouuuur [/Zap Brannigan] backseat looks suspiciously large for the vehicle. Also that vehicle looks suspiciously like a boat. Also the photo location looks suspiciously far away from actual roads.
I’m suspicious.
I’m reminded of Ron White’s bit.
“I finally got something over those Mercedes-Benz driving in-laws of mine. When I first bought the van, I was very proud of it and took straight over to my brother-in-law’s house to show it off ’cause he’s such a prick.
He takes one look at my new van and goes, ‘I can’t believe you didn’t buy a mercedes Benz.’
I’m like, ‘They don’t make a van.’
He goes, ‘Ron, I don’t think you fully understand the intricacies of Mercedes Benz engineering. Why, I got the 3 inch windshield wipers that keep my headlights clean in a rain storm.’
‘I got a place to fuck your sister.’ ”
I know that one! I loves me some Tater Salad.
Hard to tell from the small pictures, but it appears to have been done disturbingly well. Not the most attractive vehicle for sure, but it actually would be a very comfortable way to tow a 5th wheel for a distance (assuming he knew what he was doing setting up the suspension — that could also go disastrously wrong).
I once saw a guy with a (FWD) Cadillac Eldorado cut in half with the rear end a car trailer to easily tow his race car to the track with. That thing was quite pretty compared to this beast.
I’m not sure where “almost good on gas” comes with that much weight and the 460. (I happen to have an F-350 with a 460 that gets 7 city/11 highway).
MandaB, we’ll clean up the birthday balloons, streamers, and left over coffee slices. You go have a good Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Chop Shop!
I kinda like it! Imagine how cool you could make it! What a unique hot rod it could be!
The Van-T.
Built by a few different companies starting in the late 70’s
VERY popular with Carnival/Circus/Horse Show people.
The best of both worlds.
A 1 Ton E350 Van Chassis with a Dually Long bed.
I owned a 1980 Ford. Made by Eldorado the Trailer MFG. Pulled a 40ft fifth wheel like it was nothing.
Newer ones were even nicer because they used more of the van including
the side door. The ones I saw that were Chevy and Dodge had a custom
bed that had real low sides…not as nice as the Fords with the stock bed.
They come up on Ebay and Craigslist every once in a while.
Y’know, my parents actually had a Ford Econoline van with *twin* couches lining the back (facing one another, of course). Ours was much classier; the built-in table was also a chessboard.