Kitchen cabinets and counter
Older cabinets and counter are solid but older. Approximately 8 feet long with a couple uppers. Centered on window. I will remove tomorrow.
Well – the cabinets may be completely invisible due to the poor light balance in the photo, but at least they’re covered in stuff so you can’t see them.
Thanks for the post, Ralph!
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Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait a minute!
Cabinets that remove tomorrow?
It’s a black hole!
I grant you it is some kind of hole.
don’t open them!
Maybe they divide by zero if you install them.
*looks at his cabinets*
Huh… what are they doing with all those calculus books? Oh shi-
That’s right, and he will, unless you deliver Lois Lane to the abandoned warehouse on 14th street by midnight. BY MIDNIGHT! Muahahaha!
Lois Lane is about a half mile from 14th street right here in Nampa, Id.
But I can’t dig up all that asphalt by myself by midnight. Could you send over some of your henchmen?
Well, as long as Sparky doesn’t remove them with a sledgehammer like they do on those home remodel shows things might turn out OK. I can’t watch those shows. I end up screaming at the TV because those damn fools are wasting perfectly nice cabinetry, especially when they put cheap looking MDF garbage in afterwards. Taking them out properly takes about the same amount of time and you can pass them on to someone who would appreciate them. My hatred of HGTV is a problem, though. The only time I get stuck watching that channel is in waiting rooms, and that can get embarrassing.
every time I flip by that channel it is an endless marathon of “house hunters”
I think that’s the new name of the network.
At least it isn’t “shack hunters”.
HGTV: Hopeless Gamut of Total Vacuity.
I’ve watched others watch this. I would rather watch the effects of a light breeze on a brick sh*thouse.
Well, in some fairness to the shows, what, on tv, often looks like useful cabinets, are, in fact, junk.
Might be usable stuff, as installed; but not so much on removal.
The distinction is a fine one, where cabinetry are built in-place, versus cabinetry made as casework, and then installed.
Casework can be uninstalled as units. Built-ins come out as pieces-parts, and once taken to bits, are not of very much use.
The difference could be analogized by imagining a print glued to a wall. The a frame fasten around the print and onto the wall under a pane of glass. That, versus framing the print in the traditional manner. Remove the former, and you have a pile of parts that could be re-made into a wall-hung picture. Remove the latter, and you can have a wall-hung picture where ever you’d like.
¿claro?
__________________________________________________
P.s. One of the worst possible architectural salvage items would be cabinet doors. Despite being around 60-70% of the effort in making fine cabinetry, they are still made to fit the cabinet, and not vice versa.
The space defines the casework, the casework defines the doors.
Second worst are cabinet drawers; utterly un-usuable out of cabinet they are designed for.
True dat.
Did he place the boatload of crap on the counter to assure us of its solidity? This is like a find-the-hidden-object game.
Anyone else wondering if the ad for the stuff is illustrated with a well-lit picture of completely empty cabinetry, or is that just me?
A true story about “couple uppers:” An old friend of mine, who is originally Swiss, was working for the Brookings Institute after WWII, translating Marshall Plan documents. One of her translations referred to “copulating boxcars.” She even looked up the word; one of the definitions was “joining together.” Naturally, the whole office heard about it, and her husband still embarrasses her with the story 60+ years later.
Also, FYI [corey]:
Kitchen Counter Taxonomy: There are three kinds: those without sinks, those with under-counter sinks, and those with top-mounted sinks. Any of these can have closed (finished) ends, or open (unfinished) ends. The one pictured is a closed-end counter of the third kind.
[/corey]
That may explain the alien hiding underneath, which seems counter-intuitive, but it could have been excluded with proper counter-intelligence.
I believe that “Copulating Boxcars” is IF’s Faster Pussycat-Willie Nelson mashup band.
E.T. really wants to phone home. Has no problem finding Reece’s Pieces on the floor. Can’t locate dang phone. Elliot!!!
Don’t eat those! Those are actual pieces of Mr. Reese. Besides, you shouldn’t be eating things you find on the floor. The cat has been playing with them all day.
But they’re shiny!
Lots and lots of doors Ralph.
I think the ad is counter-productive.
…and counter intuitive.
Well, at least he has a counter weight.
In the cabinetry trade, those bits of casework installed above the base cabinets are known as “upper cabinets” which is contracted to “upper” in parlance.
Sparky is referring to the vague dark blobs to either side of the window.
Which do have the virtue of not having 7 or 8 apartments’ worth of stuff piled atop them.
Well, someone is being featured on an all-new episode of “Hoarding: Buried Alive”.
That’s Senator and Mrs Bluto Blutarsky to you! <G>
Sparky is going to need a lot more than a couple uppers for that.
Speaking from experience, having that much junk on the counters is a real downer.
“Junk on the counters” sounds like a euphemism, but I’m afraid to think what it might actually mean.
junk in the trunk is a big butt, so junk on the counter would be…
Clutter, Silva, just clutter.
I’ve been trying all day to come up with lyrics for this to the tune of “My Humps” and I just can’t. Sigh. I have snarker’s block.
Older cabinets are older. Also covered in paint cans, but that’s all part of the aging process. Or something.
That explains the lovely patina. Or, PAINT-ina.
Nice.
Am I the only one who imagines the junk remaining suspended in midair after Sparky removes the drawers and counters?
*hands Digital an aspirin*
Yes.
And he’s not removing his drawers per his ad. Thankfully.
bring yer shovels!
Bring outcher dead!
Oh, sorry…wrong scene.
Take me to your peter!
Oh, sorry. Wrong post/website.
*Rolls over, wags*
SEE?! It’s things like this that make us a hardcore porn site!
I thought it was the splodey thongs?!
I wear the thong that makes the whole world scream…
OMV counters with own ad.
Eight feet plus couple uppers equals Floridians.
Yes, but if you divide by the square root of Mickey ears, don’t you also get alligator cupcakes?
I’m not very good with cat math when my catulator is asleep, so I admit I’m guessing here.
The thought of alligator cupcakes makes me hungry.
*drool drool slobber drool*
I could explain why my counter ad makes sense, but I would rather let you guess.
It’s not funny if you have to ‘splain it.
OMV – you presume I’d *get* it…
“Older cabinets and counter are solid but older.”
Stating the obvious is our job.
So are younger cabinets and counter pimply but younger?
Newer cabinets and counter ethereal but newer?
Free cabinets and counter are feral but free?
I certainly hope they are butt free! How many plumbers have tried to fix that sink before they gave up?
Uppers? I take it all that shit on top of them is just there to hold them down?
Slightly OT:
I vote the ninjas!
Awesomesauce!
That site has cost me a fortune in t-shirts and hoodies. I love it.
Ditto!
“I will remove tomorrow”
Request: please wait until Sunday. Remove Monday, and we can jump straight to Tuesday.
Invisible Monday is IF’s ‘Til Tuesday tribute band.
All right, who put all these people in the baux?!
And whose elbow is in my spleen?!
Oh, that’s me. But that’s not my elbow.
Not me, I was gone yesterday. I have a note from my doctor.
{Please excuse One M. Violation from commenting on 03/05/12.
He was out of his medication, and was unable to comprehend the craigslist ad posted.
Signed, Mr. Violation’s doctor}
Close the brackets! Close them! For the love of Jeebus! Think of the children!!!!
Oh my, that is one of the side effects. Bracket lack-its.
Edit: Your bird seed tab is starting to climb, One.
*points at Lola* She did it.
I recently posted (on Craigslist)
I recently posted a reply to a post made about posting (on Craigslist)
I nested a reply to a reply posted about a post made about posting (on Craigslist)
I runned intua post yeers ago an my [mental acuity] isda saim.
Upoligies, I’m unable to speel everthang rong. It’s agin’ my relijun.
Hmm. Incompetent spambot? We shall see.
I became employed due to a CL ad.
It was cogent and did not hoover at all.
The 45 mile drive, on the other hand . . .
Incompetent Spambot: The Musical!
Noooobody waaaants meeee…. Or my viaaaaaagraaaaa….
*e-mails cupholder of wild birdseed to windrose*
Thank you mama windy.
Good morning.
Good morning, OMV. Is the coffee sliced yet?
Oh yeah, with choco-patties.
Mocha sammiches.
Come on people, I don’t have all day, line up in an orderly fashion! Right. Roll Call: Tasty Steaks? Punchity Punch Punch! Mike? Punchity Punch Punch! Tasty Steaks redux? Punchity Punch Punch! Mudsy? Punchity Punch Punch! Funky da Monkey? Punchity Punch Punch! Subbie Half a Beast? Punchity Punch Punch! MandaB? Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Hampton Bay!
Too many punches; it’s time for the counter-revolution.