Free Entertainment
Free Entertainment must go.
Phone: ###-###-#### ( Please no Emails) Call me after 4PM.
OK furniture, entertain me!
…lengthy pause…
Sigh. I guess I don’t know what I expected for free.
Thanks, Peter!
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“Free Entertainment”
“Free Entertainment must go.”
Entertainment has left the building.
Entertainment has taken flight.
You can see Entertainment this evening.
Watch Entertainment Tonight!
*takes coffee loaves out of oven*
*puts coffee loaf in new coffe slicer*
Wow this lack-of-entertainment center is the best thing since sliced coffee!
Let me entertain you.
Let me make you smile.
Just use a little polish.
Your boredom I’ll abolish.
I’m very versatile
And if you’re real good,
I’m made of solid wood.*
Your HDTV I’ll frame.
So let me entertain you.
You can play a PS3 game, yes sir.
You’ll play a PS3 game.
*No warranty is expressed as to the accuracy of this statement.
I hope it’s potty trained…
Just to be clear, Hammy, furniture strippers are not the kind of entertainment you think they are.
Free entertainment, gone? Ha! Entertainment disappeared with – Red Skelton, Carol Burnett, Dean Martin, and other variety shows.
It disappeard with The Honeymooners – right to the moon!
It took a powder when Archie called Edith a dingbat for the last time.
The A-train shuffled on outta Buffalo with Bob Hope’s last USO tour.
Maude was right, God did get *us* for that and Entertainment was left behind.
And when George heard Gracie say g’night for good it was over for the rest of us.
Free entertainment, gone? Bitch, please!
Tell me something I don’t know.
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!
…whoops, wrong hat!
I just wish they would bring back the Muppet Show. Sigh.
How about Laugh-In?
Put that in your Funk & Wagnall’s!
Verrrrry interesting.
Well, let’s see Monkey – can we both fit behind that thing? Maybe Dan can do voices for us.
You mean, like we could be the muppets? But would that mean someone would have to stick their hands up our arses? Meh. I don’t want the Muppets to return that badly, thanks.
I’m a Muppet of a Taco.
Hey Tasty: I won’t tell ya the pictures that puts in my head. Giggle.
Maniacal laugh…
Having a visual that is a cross between the hookers on The Puppets Court (youtube it) and the costume of the guy being born on pregnantchicken.com. Verrrrrrry disturbing.
Auld lang syne.
In days of yore.
Within my mind.
I would adore.
We sprake of such.
Of matters true.
Of feelings touched.
They are of you.
Peachy keen.
My soda pop.
When I was ‘teen,
I would not stop.
Nowadays,
Our speach is shallow.
Hang our ways
upon the gallows.
If we’re to teach
our children well.
I do beseach
our children tell.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
Oh, you aren’t? Good, I was hoping the entertainment had left.
He says to call in the evening, so it’s… Entertainment Tonight?
Okay that was lame.
Obviously Sparky is protesting all free forms of entertainment. He believes that like sex*, entertainment must be bought.
.
.
.
*I am only implying that Sparky pays for sex, not that you or I have or would.
[quibble]
Except that everyone “pays” for sex; sometimes in blood, sometimes in tears; quite often in sweat–just not always as a disposable cash commodity.
[/quibble]
I suggest you stop listing bodily fluids before you end up in the corner. Let HamCan take the fall.
Hey, Notty! Long time no Snark! Good to see you here. 8)
Cappy, I think I’d rather see that comment written in verse…
except that everyone “pays” for sex;
sometimes in blood,
sometimes in tears;
quite often in sweat–
just not always
as
a
disposable
cash commodity….
–ee cumquat
Wasn’t that the B side to an eighties hit song?
Dave: Yes, it was the flip side of Rod Stewart’s “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”.
And sometimes, honestly, sex pays FOR things.
It’s Cap’n’s fault, he’s got me thinkin’ all deep n such.
Picturing a chorus line of ottomans, shaking their tassels. Now THAT’s free entertainment.
OK, it’s not that entertaining. Maybe if the red table would tell a few jokes.
Invisible Fun is IF’s The Vanished mock-tribute band.
Just like those boxes you played with as a kid, just larger! No toy needed!
Thrill as the 12:00 on the VCR blinks! Thrill as the clock radio flashes 12:00 too! Watch them blink in and out of sequence! Woooo!
Some people may have been known to sit and stare at them to figure out how many cycles it took to get them into alignment.
I mean, that’s what I’ve heard.
That sounds like fun. I’ll go do that now.
*Leaves*
*Comes back*
It takes fourty-two cycles. Should’ve known; that’s always the answer.
I have sat and composed a little song or two to the beat of the flash. Course, the songs sucked. And pharmaceuticals were involved.
The “beat of the flash”?
[tries to flee mental image of Sally Rand “fan dancing” in leather dominatrix attire–fails; falls over]
Are those the same people IF, who take the time to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?
No no no, Cap’n. That’s the beat of the “flesh”. Come on!!!
Mudsy, that is totally weird. We have just finished watching a CSI where they mentioned how many licks it takes to get to the centre of a tootsie roll pop.*
*I have no idea what that is.**
**I have just looked it up on Wikipedia. Why don’t we have them over here?
The things I missed out on by not going to college.
Ratwoman, can’t you get them at the American Import shops? Or do you even have those? We have British Import shops and Irish import shops. We can get Hobnobs and Violet Chews and crumpets. 8)
Probably – they tend to be in London, and very expensive. I did go to one import shop, once, and discovered Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Shortly afterwards, I discovered I was allergic to peanuts.
I have the same problem with those complementary hotel breakfasts.
I know! The closest you ever get is when the kettle whistles at you.
This is explains why the house always is trashed when I get home. I need non-entertaining furniture.
Which appliance ate all the cheese puffs?
I bet it was the dryer, that bastard is always stealing my socks.
If you get an invitation to party from the air conditioner… I hope you turn it down.
Come on folks! Sing it to the tune of Smells Like Teen Spirit!
I’m a Sparky! I’m snark-rageous!
Come and get it! Free entertaiment!
I’m stupid and
It’s contagious!
I’m late for
My arrainment!
Oh no oh no to jail I go…
Oh no on no there’s a con named Flo….
[aside]
To the best of my Knowledge, Information and/or Belief, I have never consciously heard the song SLTS.
Which means I have no memory of its melody.
I find I have no desire to rectify this lack, either,
<goes back to listening to REK>
*asks Uncle Google*
Yeah, that’s the name of the Nirvana song. Thought I got it wrong for a minute.
Funny – There’s a pic of Kurt Cobain on the Wikipedia page. Do you reckon kids today look at him the way I looked at the Stones – maybe cool for their day, but kind of old, and what was up with those clothes and hairdos?
Yup. And it will only get worse as you age.
Know when it really hit home? I was listening to a song on the radio that was popular when I was in school and after the song the dj said something along the lines of that-was-our-oldie-but-goodie-for-the-day. What the fur?!
Monkey, that happened to me too – with a song from the mid-nineties. 🙁
I’ve heard “Smells like An Egyptian”.
Will that tune work?
I’d take it for free. It’s putting on a better performance than Jennifer Lopez in…well, any movie she’s ever been in so far.
Now, I’m not sure..but I do have it on good authority that there’s a red table involved in this whole “take it for free” shenanigans.
You realize this brings us dangerously close to conceptualizing and casting YSaC: The Movie, right?
I thought Astro was already pitching the movie script to Hollywood…
Can that little monkey from the second Hangover movie play me?
Not that I watched either of those movies. Bleh. Tacky, tacky tacky. Such bad taste. Yeah.
Scene 42:
Monkey: (points banana at Sparky)
There’s one thing you gotta ask yourself.
Did she just eat 5 bananas or just 4?
You feel funky punk? Well do ya?
I thought D/DM was already working 0n it next week.
Hey OMV: Don’t forget how I dramatically whip off my sunglasses before I point the nanner and then how I hitch up my Huggies as I walk away after blowing away the sorry son of a bitch.
PS: Thinking about a YSaC movie makes me all giggly and tingly.
And fm, you just gotta wear that french maid uniform too.
I believe “Entertainment for Sale, Take It for Free” was the original working title for “Pretty Woman”.
You got your money for nothing and your entertainment for free.
Free entertainment?
I’ll take two!!
This has a different spin if “free” is meant as a verb . . .
This ad is secretly documenting a revolt against the entertainment industry’s oppression of the little guy. Their cruel, evil commercialization at the expense of small time composers, developers, and artists everywhere. The independent filmakers, game developers, painters, bloggers and the like refuse to be trodden on any longer! Free entertainment!*
Or….it may be an idiotic Craigslist poster. You decide!
*Hoping that wasn’t too crazy and/or heavy a topic. Let me know, and I’ll never post something like that again. Windy, feel free to delete this as you see fit.
I can see it now; buttons, t-shirts, Marches on Washington, Wall Street, or anywhere convenient. I can’t wait ’til the mainstream media takes up the cause, they’ll blame the republicans, conservatives and religious establishment. Fox news will say its all a liberal plot to undermine the ‘right’. And the original issue will be forgotten in a miasma of slogans, soundbites, and politics. So let’s start it here :
Make entertainment not war!
Save the baby entertainment!
Free entertainment!!
#occupy Hollywood
…
Cha cha chaa!
Now that’s Entertainment.
-J. Durante
OMV – for all the doors in the universe….
I’m really not that old. I shouldn’t remember him, but I do.
I’m all the better for it.
I think Dan (BBUH) is onto something with his title. This thing is always “on”. Whether anyone’s watching or not. It juggles, sings, and worst of all, dances. It’s trashed the floor with its heavy gallivanting about, and Sparky hasn’t slept in weeks for the serenades and soliloquies. Hence the low, low price, and the “must go.”
Please pardon my igginess.
What is the dan “(BBUH)”?
And for drmk?
BBUH = Bees Be Upon Him.
When used for drmk:
BBUH = Bees Be Upon Her.
Cool, I like bees.
I figured bees had to do with it.
But the clutch of my mind is going out.
I hope the clutch knows all the good restaurants and can afford a play or two on these nights out. As long as he gets the girl home by midnight, and doesn’t expect anything in return.
You know…
He could have called it an “Entertainment center”
but he didn’t know how to get it in the center of his photo.
*stops looking at the entertainment*
*sees movement at periphery of vision*
*catches entertainment trying to hide its balls*
AHA!
“Free entertainment” is like “free admission” to a strip club. Once the furniture has you hooked, it pulls the rug out from under you with “Wooden you like another?”
This has nothing to do with the ad, but I just want to know. Is drmk (BBUH) going to sue me for just using the snipping tool to make my avatar the cute little dog from the ad advertising ad space?
I don’t want to get sued.
Feel free to subtract adores (somehow) for being paranoid.
Not-ty (or Naughty): The pic is so cute and makes me squee so loud that I’m tempted to steal a cute little puppy avvie.
Not.A.Thief – not so long as you advertise…
I’m relieved. My ridiculous alibi was subliminal messaging.* People would look at the ad on site, read the Craigslist ad of the day, scroll down to comment, be (somehow) convinced to advertise on YSaC. Everyone wins!
*Subliminal messaging may or may not actually exist. Difficult to prove in court.
No worries, NMN, even if she sued you, she would only be demanding that you clean out the Snark Lounge and hose out the Corner. Maybe freshen up the Lionel Ritchie cheese head. Nothing too onerous.
It’s nice to see you, by the way. Our paths haven’t crossed in a while.
*puts microphone on Entertainment center.
Oh sofa meow,
divine divan.
Oh sofa meow,
just one night stand.
Oh sofa meow,
forget the price.
Oh sofa meow,
for free is nice.
Table, table, give me your answer true.
Have you leg room? Have you my coffee too.
You’re not made of stylish cherry,
But you’ll hold my tom and jerry.
And you look sweet with both my feet.
On a coffee table just like you.
*takes microphone away*
Where’s the obligatory picture of Napoleon?
This ain’t entertainin’ at all.
I hate to keep going off-topic, but having been gone for about a year, the site is a tad different. New people I understand, the semi-annoying “Other Sucking You Might Like” box is interesting and all, however the one thing I’m wondering is this: did the YSaC wiki get axed, or is it just hidden away? Could someone please (patiently) respond, and possible provide a link to it if still exists, so I can browse and occupy myself?
It’s still around… somewhere. It hasn’t been updated in forever and was mostly abandoned after Bridget got busy trying to make a go of it with her private law practice.
http://ysaclopedia.wikispaces.com/
There it is. My Google-fu is strong today.
Perhaps it’s been getting into the wrong kind of entertainment – hanging out with rogue armoires, snorting furniture polish, paying impressionable dinning chairs to remove their upholstery. Sparky’s found it face down on the living room carpet in a puddle of beeswax and lavender once too often.
Yes…it obviously needs intervention.
TC, why don’t you and I deliver the Punchity Punch Punch to Mr. Tumnus? I doubt he’ll actually show up. 8)
Good Morning, Mark Steines and Nancy O’Dell!