5 ft white couch – $75
i have a 5 ft white couch in really great condition like new color of cat xxx-xxx-xxxx terry
The couch is actually in each one of these pictures — it’s just a little-known fact that white things are invisible in photos, unless they’re slightly mangy cats.
Thanks, Gary!
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The couch IS white like the cat – until you vacuum it (the couch, not the cat). Once vacuumed, the couch returns to it’s original color – blue or beige with cat urine splotches.
Cat urine splotches? Does your cat have a prostate problem?
Pecil leakage?
“The New Color Of Cat”
Paint your furniture, paint your house, paint your clothes, paint your nails with our new, fantastic color of cat. Ever wanted to be able to leap up onto the kitchen counter with ease? Ever wanted to chase the neighborhood dog without losing your breath and be able to shimmy up trees faster? Have you ever wanted to just claim everything is yours and give others that baleful eye when they try to sit next to you? Well, use this new Color of Cat and everyone will know not to mess with your stuff. Not available in all areas, yet. Some restrictions apply.
I prefer the old color of cat.
I mean, why paint cats or dye them. This one looks bleached.
I guess I’m just an originalist.
Better for everything to be the color of cat than the color of pu…
-ZIP!-
Wow, I think that’s a new corner speed record for me.
I really hope “Color of Cat” isn’t like “Cream of Mushroom”
But, they come in such a rang of col<SMACK!< (ow, Corner hurts today)
I wonder what the sodium and fat content is of the different flavors. Of the soup, I mean.
There, now it makes perfect sense.
Wonder if the
kittenthrow pillow in the last pic comes with it?5 foot cat? Someone’s selling Longcat, the ICHCB demicatgod?
Shhhhhhhhhhh!! We need the money, okay?
I mean there’s the red table for free for the room Cap’n is building.
And the matching snarkaloungers, the couch with the books for legs. It’s a long list.
Heh-heh.
We might be snarking up the wrong tree. Our snark is worse than our bite. 8)
Perhaps this really is a couch manufactured by White.
White Outdoor mowers are not white.
Why would anyone expect a white couch to be white?
Do you think that cat used to be a Persian Blue?
Somebody, please give me a [corey] on this.
I need sleep, so I’ll just curl up in the corner.
If the couch is the same color as the cat, why is it covered up with pillows and blankets? The whole point of getting furniture that matches your pet is that the fur no longer shows.
They felt the need to hide all the “other” stains.
I hope it’s not auntie-juice stains, those tend to linger.
Couch Cat is watching you have t-shirt time.
Umm, I’m really afraid to ask:
IR, is “Couch Cats” your “Josie and the Pussycats” tribute band?
Say, make that “IF”……. ‘IR’ is a whole ‘nother something or other involving heat and the invisible spectrum and technical stuff like that.
Maybe “IR” stands for “IR glad I ain’t a Sparky”.
FM – IR glad you are not a Sparky!
IR is IF’s stunt double.
It’s always good to have a stunt double. But make sure it’s not an evil one. Worst 42 minutes of my life there.
Couch Cats is my Josie and the Pussycats/Pussycat Dolls crossover band.
I know, we so screwed up there. We have a solid black cat, a black and grey striped tabby, and a siamese. Unless we want to cover the house in camo, we can’t win.
Same here – I’ve got a grey one, a mostly black one, and a mostly white-and-orange one. No matter what color my furniture is, something would show.
Not if you use the Sparky Decorating Method (Patent Pending). Just cover everything in your house with random blankets, quilts, throw pillows, and assorted pieces of fabric.
I will neither comfirm nor deny that I already do that.
We have kids and cats, so we decided on chocolate brown furniture. Cat fur is easier to remove than mud.
So, are the pictures above negatives?
Probably–may depend upon whether you have moral-ethical objections for ‘wearing’ a hair-shirt; or if you have strong feline-allergic reactions . . .
The couch came back the very next day…
Color of cat seems to be a lot cheaper than color of border collie.
Maybe Capn can give us an estimate of how much paint it will take to keep the couch and the cat white. If it’s more than spinach toothpaste, I shall have to look elsewhere.
I think I’ve got more than enough white-out to get it back to its original color.
Posing the question to the catulator, I get:
A narrowed eye with two ear flicks
and
Rolling over facing away
Which I take to mean that
A. Stop bothering my nap
2. All things ought be color-of-cat, QED
(does not include toys, prey, or food)
Γ. Are you still here?–better be treats!!
IV. ????
If it is color of cat, that’s great. I need to know if it also comes with that dead snake smell.
And an accordion holding up one side. If not, then that’s a deal-breaker for me.
No, it was a book that held up the magical couch. The accordion was just hanging out like a couch potato.
Books are so bourgeois. I think accordions lend a room that certain something, don’t you?
That’s because they’re AWESOME!!!
valarie is swimming in the box today in honor of Purple Pride!
Everyone knows that white couches don’t like to be photographed. It’s the reflection of the flash on the shiny upholstery that white couches think makes them look fat (6 feet, at least, and who wants to add an extra foot?). On the other hand, white cats love to be photographed. Princess Sparkyfuzz has entitled these masterpieces: “Regal on Not-the-Couch-We’re-Selling,” “Hungover on a Bed (Not a White Couch),” and “Playful.”
Dunno, from scanning the contents of my Spam folder, there appears to be a great perceived demand for an “extra foot” . . .
[ow, corner! whadidIsay? I was talking ’bout <SMACK!!>]
That second cat looks like it spent the night in an opium den.
Or has been watching too many sad movies.
This is your cat.
This is catnip.
This is your cat on catnip.
Any questions
This is your cat.
This is catnip.
This is your cat on catnip.
Don’t leave home without it.
Oops – wrong advertisement. Sorry.
I don’t know about your cat, but that’s not my cat on catnip.
Bugsy, the Insane on catnip goes something like this…
ohmygawdwhatisthisamazingstuffSQUIRREL!!howmuchisintherecanIrubitallovereverythinginsightSQUIRREL!!noyoucan’thaveanyandnoyoucan’tplaywithmytoysandSQUIRREL!!I’maninjakittylookoutbelowSQUIRREL!!
MOM! – C””J broke the internets!
SQUIRREL!
Moose!
Rocky and Bullwinkle?!?
Fuzzy Pussy was a chair,
Fuzzy Pussy had white hair,
Fuzzy Pussy wasn’t a lazyboy, was she?
I love little pussy,
her coat is so warm,
and if I don’t shave her…..
she won’t tear off my arm.
<begins to understand why the Corner is so full of elbows and knees today…>
Soft kitty,
Warm kitty,
Little ball of fur.
Happy kitty,
Sleepy kitty,
Dur, Dur, Dur…
*sleep tight Sheldon!*
Squeeeeee! Sheldon is my all-time-fav TV nerd!
Me too. I’ve got a Geek Crush on him.
me 3.
We should get together and play Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.
like new color of cat
I wonder what the old color of the cat was? Our lines are now open, with operators standing by in order to take your suggestions. And Mudsy, ‘pecil’ is not a color.
It so is! It was right there in my box of 64. I kept it color coded in between the puce and the flesh crayolas.
I took it out and played with it every day!
OK – you win….
*leaves room toting steel wool, boiling bleach, and no-rinse brain sanitizer*
Do I get to keep all the toys?
Do I get to keep all the toys?
Only the ones that need batteries.
I think I need G.I. Joe. Just need to “borrow” him for a little while. Does he cum with batteries?
😉
*corner*
Gee Mudsy, I don’t think he does at all – seemed to be pretty much androgynous, so I’m not sure he’d be any fun for a girl to play with.
Why do you think Barbie dumped him for Stacie?
*We can discuss it further over here in the corner – I’ll bring fresh slices.*
*snort* “Puce”. Heh heh.
Crayola Crayon Naming FAIL.
Well, if your ‘pecil’ is ‘puce’, you might be playing in the wrong box.
I’m sure it’s the correct one. It’s the one with the pecil sharpener on the back.
You got a ‘bris’ crayon in that box? They’re normally a little shorter.
:cuts wrapper off pink crayon:
Found it!
This should be easy enough to check out.
*Pulls out Catulator
*Types in “White”
*Answer is “Denim”
Let’s double check…
*Types in “White” again
*Answer is “Holly Hobby Quilt”
Yep, that makes sense.
*whispers*
Psst, not to be a corey, but you forgot to carry the kidney beans.
And he forgot to divide by lavender.
Eye of Newt and Toe of Frog
Tendrils from a creeping Fog
Brain of Bat and Tooth of Hen
Tears of Barbie mourning Ken
Feather of Horse and Pinch of Sin
Bowstring from a Theramin
Veil of Nun and a Beggar’s Frock
Fingers from the hand of a Clock
Color of Cat and Can of Mace
Latches on a jury’s Case
Stir them in a wind that’s seen
Now your couch’s completely clean!
I wish I could go to Home Depot and pick up more doors for this.
Dittos what the ghostie said…damn..that’s….poetic.
“Tears of Barbie mourning Ken”
Since this is awards season, that line alone inspires me to ask:
1- Why don’t we have some yearly award for best snark?
2- And should it be called the Sparkies or the Snarkies?
3- And what would the tropy look like?
It would look like it’s missing an “h.”
😀
1 – We used to, but Windy got busy and hasn’t been able to keep track.
2 – Sparkly snarker award.
3- It was full of bees.
I think I’m the wind that can be seen! 8) Love it. We do have the quarterly Don’t Suck-Offs, but we don’t get tropys or trophies. I’m keeping track of everyone who gets in the box, and will add up the numbers April, July, October, and January. For the quarter before that. I didn’t do it last year because of the spiral skin with the peer reviews.
Who? What’s going on? What’s this? Ew! This is the last time I fall asleep in the corner!
Oh, it’s just silly string. I think. *touch* Ew.
Did I do that?
The color of WHICH cat? There appear to be at least two different ones pictured. I have enough trouble trying to match “white” paint without trying to match cats. They don’t fit under the color comparator machine at the paint store.
Sure they do, you just gotta fold them right.
It’s hard to get your face to stop bleeding if you try to iron the crease.
So Sparky does NOT think we need to see a picture of the couch to know whether we want to buy it, but we DO need to see 3 pictures of a cat to understand what “white” is. Oooooooookay.
I was going to ask how many cats it takes to see a couch, but then that just leads to other questions. Such as:
How many kitties can fit into those pants, and how many tomcats does it take to change a lightbulb? And just how much scrubbing on the dishes can a cat handle before it is distracted by the Nature Channel?
I know we all must stay up late at night, just wondering about these things.
1. How many cats does it take to see a couch?
Answer: Ukelele
B. How many kitties can fit in those pants?
Answer: 3x(2y/Djibouti)
IIV. How many tomcats does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Snarkalounger
~. How much scrubbing on the dishes can a cat han…
Answer: about that much
Any other queries?
Kazi…you must come to my house. I need these answers at 3:00 AM.
Extra doors for “Djibouti.”
This reminds me of a joke I once told my brother-in-law. It goes something like this:
Picture 3 black roosters and a white cat sitting on a fence.
How many legs are on those roosters?
6
How many white hairs are on the cat?
I don’t know.
Why do you know more about black cocks than white pussy?
I wish I had video of his face after he heard the punchline. It took a while before he stopped sputtering.
That’s funny! Does your brother in law let you tell him anymore jokes?
Oh, I thought I was here by myself.
*blushes*
Sing as loud as you wand OMV… just make the coffee slices too. 🙂
I can’t sing when I know people are listening, I sound atrocious.
Hmmm, looks like everyone has gone home.
I think I’ll surprise them and clean up the place a little.
*goes to closet to get broom*
The leader here is Llamanun,
who started this site just for fun.
To Sparky she insists,
that You Suck at Craigslist.
Yes our snarking has just begun.
Next up we have Ostrimu,
who posts for us sucky ads too.
These ads have problems,
and he comments on them,
he gives them the snark that they’re due.
We have a fine feathered friend,
she chooses which of us she’ll send.
If your comment rocks,
You’ll go into the box,
and the wet bar you will get to tend.
*finishes sweeping the floor*
*begins washing dishes*
We have Funky Monkey
We have Kaziganthi
We got Rabbit Roulette
We got Tankerbell,
We got Taco Magic and a gostcat too.
Irregular Fractal and an Ostrimu.
Come together, right now,
snark with me.
We have valerie,and
we have Ralph and Hamcan,
We got digitalaxis
We got CapnMac.
We got Llamanun, and GrampDaddy’s back,
Windrose, Mud””Slicker, and Eclectic Blue.
Come together, right now,
snark with me.
LimeLolly cometh
with Bianchi Sound,
Not-a-[censored] lion
also hanging around.
Dave and ferret tribe and MandaB
Daphne, CJ, Lurking real close.
Come together, right now,
snark with me.
*finishes drying dishes*
You need to repost these in today’s comments where people will see them.
They were not on topic, so I posted them here. Done on purpose.
*sigh*
And I plucked my eyebrows so very carefully…
valarie, thanks for gracing the box with your beauty and snark. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Pussy Galore!