Bathtub
########## must take all motor ran when taken out
So, you took the motor out and it ran away; is that what happened?
Wait.. why was there a motor in the bathtub?
Wait.. where’s the bathtub? Did it run away too?
Wait.. what are all these pictures of lumber for? Is the motor under the lumber? Or the bathtub?
Wait… what?
Thanks for the weird, Kathryn!
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Well, this post is a wash.
I’m going to assume they mean a Jacuzzi tub. I can see a faucet and one corner of the thing, and the tubing wrapped around the bottom is probably for the jets. I don’t see a price anywhere. Are they giving away the whole scrap heap, or trying to sell it? If they want money they should have at least excavated the poor thing and wiped off the worst of the dirt. There is a standing joke in our house that the cleanest and best organized an item will ever be is when we are trying to sell it.
*points*
That tub has a woody!
And a knob!
No, wait – it has two knobs! And they could use a good polishing.
I’ll go ahead and slice up some fresh coffee for the corner.
And if you look closely, it comes with some rubbers. (Slide over, Ghostie. We may be crowded in the corner today)
But it’s missing the motor. And if you don’t have the motor, then what good is a woody, two knobs, [Oxford comma!] and some rubbers?
Obviously needs to have it’s tubes cleaned.
Mumsey won’t let me hang out with you guys if you keep talking like that.
I’m quite impressionable at this age.*
*this may not be true.
Looks like we’ve corrupted another minor! Who has the scorecard? Mine reads “avocado porcupine” but I think the catulator has been at it again.
Mine says “Beauty and youth are fleeting, but Sparky is forever”.
Wait, I think that’s my fortune cookie.
Funky e, what beauty and youth are doing is FLEEING. From Sparky’s Shed of Pornographic Bath Fixtures n’ Crap.
I won’t tell you what I thought the faucet and two knobs were at first glance.
*sigh*
I think I need help.
PS: I was typing mine as you were typing yours, Ghostie. Maybe we BOTH need help. 🙂
Or I can go get my blender and we can make banana “smoothies” and giggle at the photos.
Is there any Captain Morgan in those smoothies? If there is then count me in!
So, wood this mean the tub is planking?
Yeah, what dan said.
Bathtub.
*Snaps fingers*
You dig?
Woody planky, you’re the one.
You make bath time so much fun.
*some dissembly required
Ahhh, nothing like lowering your naked body into a hot, relaxing bath…
OWWW, splinters!
Those aren’t splinters, it’s aggressive exfoliation.
“Aggressive Exfoliation” is IF’s “Savage Garden” tribute band.
See people!
This is what happens when DIY backyard hot tub projects go terribly awry [as opposed to “a rye” which would make it a sammich]
A sandwich would be much preferable to this pile of home improvement fail.
So… do the wire spools come with the tub? How about the tires?
What? Why am I asking?
You’ve never seen my large collection of electric go-tubs, have you.
I don’t think it would detract at all if you parked it next to your winter bagel. Your neighbors will be sure to be contacting you to express their awe [awwwww].
Enjoying fabulous visual of Tasty Steaks, naked but tastefully enbubbled, driving around town in his go-tub. Which, of course, has a Ron Paul ’12 bumper sticker on the back.
It’s like Tankerbell lives in my neighborhood or something.
Have you been seeing a large winged tank in a squirrel costume lurking under your windows?
Are ‘Tasty Steaks” also known as “Tube Steaks”?, ‘cuz I don’t want to be picturing Taco’s “Tube Steak” bubbling around town.
Probably better if you don’t comment, Sister Lyle…
“Tasty Stakes” are for vampires. “Tasty Stakes with Sprinkles” are for those vampires.
I will refrain from commenting on Taco’s tube steak….
(so glad YOU brought that up Gramps)
I deny having any responsibility for it being up – absolutely none.
None, none, none, none…………………………………………………………..none.
This must be Poor Choice of Words Friday.
Carry on….
^^^totally having long-standing crush on Grampdaddy renewed
At Gramp
Up. Heh, heh, heh
Yeah, now I have Bevis and Butthead laughter in my head. That makes for a weird earworm.
Dude has some ‘interesting’ dating habits.
NEARLY a sinus enema, LL! 8)
Nearly? I’m doing it wrong.
No wonder the motor ran, Sparky’s idea of a date involves goin’ out back of the shed.
But the motor came back the very next day…
You know, it really is terribly sad to see how some things are treated. To be tossed out just because you’ve gotten old and you just can’t pump as long or as well as you used to. To be discarded because your spigot drips and your knobs aren’t polished and you’ve got stains on your marble – it’s a travertine, I tell you!
With just a little love, care, and understanding – a little work on the old plumbing, tubes blown out, maybe reaming out the pipes – perhaps a new motor that really buzzes, and I’ll bet that old spigot could spray across the tub again!
(What flavor coffee slices are we having over here today?)
Feeling a little like a rusty spigot today Gramps?
I think Cialis has something to do with making old tubs young again. They keep putting them in their commercials.
Grampdaddy, I am going to obtain that lumber so I can build you many doors!
Darn it!, Mudsy – that’s the problem. I’ve been trying “Lime-Away”…
Maybe you just need to jiggle the handle.
No, no, no. You needed to use a CLR and Drano Daiquiri. With a shot of Lime-a-Way on the side.
“Lime-a-Way”
I feel like y’all are taking my name in vain.
Don’t make me smite you.
LL – would you have been: offended if I had said:
Darn it!, Mudsy – that’s the problem. I’ve been trying “Lime-Lolly”…
Just askin’…
(subsequent edit) I have no idea where the extra colon came from.
Too much bran in the diet, maybe?
Eh… I might have been offended, but the feeling passed. 8)
No, no, no. Don’t be lumping me into that “y’all” category. You read what I wrote all wrong LL (not like some* people). It’s:
Lime-a-Way (meaning, you always have a solution)
NOT
Lime-Away (meaning, get thee behind me!)
*glaring at the grumpy old guy in the corner
😉
LL, I’ll consider myself smitten.
*glaring at the grumpy old guy in the corner
*Shaking cane* “Get outa my corner, ya young whippersnapper! Can’t ya see I’m tryin’ to use Lime-Lolly.” *wanders off muttering “now where did that cute little monkey go…”*
*hides in corner under blankie, shaking*
*curls up with blanket and heating pad*
*quietly removes mirror from Grampdaddy’s corner*
That’s a nice shed in the side yard, there. I’ve heard that if you have a really good tool, you want to build a sturdy shed over it. You know, I didn’t care for the mint coffee slices the first time, but they seem to have grown on me.
Be sure you use bricks. I heard about being built like a brick shed-house.
I’m positive that old shed comes with its own chicken wire.
*curb appeal*
If you have a pile of lumber and some spools of wire behind your shed,
and you call it a bathtub,
You might be a Sparky.
If you take a picture of an item but cover it up with lumber so prospectives can’t see it,
You might be a Sparky.
*canned laughter*
If you can’ t write a craigslist ad without proper syntax, context, grammar, and spelling,
You might be a Sparky.
First the ferrets, then the cat, now the dog. I think the carpet in the box is a total loss. Enjoy your day!
That fire wasn’t my fault, the cockatiel was all hopped up on chocolate.
I don’t think the
chandaleershandylearceiling light fixture will ever be the same again.You mean this cockatoo?
http://i.imgur.com/VtJkg.jpg
8)
GC – Goes with that old saying, “A bird in chocolate is worth two, ah, two in, umm, two on Lionel Richie.”
(Mom! Mom! – Can I lick the bird? Please let me lick your bird, OK?)
*This seems to have gone horribly wrong*
Y’all ain’t seen nothing til you see the mess a monkey can make in a box!
Yes, but rarely does that mess remain just in the box.
*fling the poo. fling ALL of the poo!*
I assumed that’s what the drain in the floor was for.
That’s not a drain, that’s the results of the last Tacosplosion.
We’ll just redo the floor in all of that plywood from Sparky’s bathtub.
*makes note to avoid baux for foreseeable future*
*inserts dull and unwitty comment here*
*Herk, herk*
Where would you like me to “hang” the Elijah knockoffs?
Hey Diddle Diddle
A tub in the middle
Of messiness beyond all borders
The Sparky did post
Trying to make the most
Of the fact that his tub apparently ran away with a motor.
And now it’s time for YSaC haiku:
Bathtub must take all,
Motor ran when taken out,
#####.
Huh…that one pretty much wrote itself.
I love the last line. It speaks to me!
It was far more moving before it was translated – it read:
@@@@@
I don’t know about that.
Poundpoundpoundpoundpound.
Better than atatatatat any day.
*snaps fingers, french inhales from clove cigarette
That’s gone, man.
I really don’t see the point of this post… It’s a jet tub, so it has a motor that worked well when the tub was removed from the house. The stuff piled on top of it is NOT lumber, its the kit of tub-surrounding parts (notice they all match the surface pattern of the tub itself) with lots of trim pieces. It’s really not all that dirty, just a creamy marble color. The only problem I see is that there’s no price on it.
CB gets the Point of Clarity Award for today…in a nice matte finish. 🙂
Hey Archie, could you throw in a couple of Corey tags along with CB’s award?
Thank you.
Yes, yes.! The ONLY thing I see wrong with it is that there is no price on it. I knew it was something. One of those annoying tiny details that would have awakened me around 3:05am when clarity holds no bounds.
The boards must be covering the travertine tiles as well…
Until you smarter folks pointed out the hoses on the bottom and I finally spotted the faucet and knobs, I really didn’t know what I was looking at. Regardless, why would someone not clean up and spiffy up something if they really want to get rid of it?
To add, lots of tubs have need of several hundred feet of industrial grade wire in order for proper performance. The tires here are also extremely important as they are used in the yearly maintenance of the product and to assure even heating of the element. The chemical spray bottle is probably an attempt to provide the customer with a “do it yourself” alternative to replacing the motor. Very considerate of the seller, really.
The rusted fence is being sold separately.
I also find the sentence:
to be beyond all reproach.
That’s what he said. Ooh, looky. Mint coffee slices.
*waves at Matt*
Hi Matt! You catatonic bug you!
Cap, I single-handedly skew that statistic by a lot, because I have one of these tubs, and I use mine almost every night. I do not, however, use the jets much. So maybe that’s the statistic. But mine IS in front of a window and DOES take all the hot water and DOES get cold fast and IS louder than a horny elk on a Harley with a vuvuzela.
Edit: damn nesting. This really should be after capn’s comment. Windy, can u fix nesting? Cupholders of birdseed if u can…
THE IMAGE IS IN MY BRAIN!
Nope, the data have been collected, rejected, and retaken by not quite a dozen, still dumbfounded, agencies.
Lifetime use average, all uses, is 3.
The 1SD is something like 2 orders of magnitude (mean is over a thousand on some surveys), to put that average in perspective.
Some of these tubs in ‘entry-level’ and ‘mid-range’ tract-built subdivisions will go 3 or 4 owners between uses.
One more reason that house design ought not be left to the minimum-wage drafters in tract builder offices.
That is amazing. I guess that’s another way I’m weird. I loooooove bubble baths. I had no idea nobody else takes baths anymore. No wonder those multi-nozzle showers are getting so popular.
Oh, and by the way, you are also right about what a pain these tubs are to clean.
But I bought my house, in large part, because of it. I love it. Does this mean I will be purchasing Sparky’s Tub of Mystery? It does not.
Tankgirl, I have yet to figure out a way to do this. I will experiment this evening and see what happens.
Tank, I remember seeing an episode of “How Clean Is Your House?” where they showed an easy way to clean and sanitize the Jacuzzi jets, but I don’t remember what they used. You might be able to find it on YouTube or something. Considering they use a lot of lemons and vinegar on their show I’m sure it is something simple and non-toxic.
Dang it! CatonicBug stole all my [matt] on this (and most of the [corey] too).
Do have some [corey] left, though <pauses to let all readers groan>
All those spiffy, ludicrously expensive, and ever-so-required-by-RE-types tubs have a fascinating statistic. The average–yes average number of lifetime uses of those tubs is 3 (three–not five, sire–but three).
But, since “everybody else does it” houses–especially tract houses–are doomed to be afflicted of these, ah, amenities.
The low number of uses has a huge number of causal factors. Lead of which is that these tubs are nearly invariably in the worst design placement possible. Like in front of a six foot wide, five foot tall, window facing most of the neighborhood’s school children, lechers, churches and the like (and with almost no ability to be sensibly given a shade, curtains, or similar privacy.
Further, most take an entire water heater’s supply of hot water to fill–which becomes an exercise in futility, as the tubs are never insulated enough to hold that heat, so the water heater is constantly in need to keep warm water in the tub, meaning no hot water for anyone else in the house.
The motors used to power the air-jets/water pumps on the tubs are typically about as quiet in use as a jet engine repair facility.
All this is after the 20-40 minutes it takes to fill the tub from the 3/8″ plumbing supply connected to the faucets, too.
Lastly, almost none have good ingress/egress design at all (think ice-skating, in March, on stilts, while impaired and distracted).
All of which is probably a net “good” in that easily half of the tubs installed have at least one major installation defect (bad wiring; bad plumbing; poor/no support).
These tubs are also a major pain to keep clean (ingress/egress again) unless a person has 6 or 8 foot long arms, or some sort of trapeze rigging in the bathroom.
But, they “look” pretty.
Sigh.
[/corey]
Ok, you’ve sold me on it. How much to have you install one in my house?
Cut every corner if you need to.
Our tub doesn’t have the jets, but everything else applies. It has seen more use housing puppies, ferrets and bunnies than actually holding water for a bath. Manufactured houses are as bad as tract houses for truncated corners. I would be happier if we could move it away from the window and add foam insulation to the bottom. Considering the plastic it is made of has already started to discolor, it probably isn’t worth the effort, though.
“ice-skating, in March, on stilts, while impaired and distracted”
I knew it! Hubby DID tape and youtube our honeymoon! He told me that blinking light was the battery going out in the smoke detector!
We are equal opportunity snarkers here.
I even snark about the guy that broke into my pick-up.
Did he steal good stuff like ps2 games or my tools or my really good jumper cables? No.
He stole my ash tray and my rubber irrigation boots.
Sparkies are everywhere.
*message to cat-bug*
FYI: bathtubs with motors.
/Corey
German’s do it differently.
German’s what do it differently?
They’re pumpkins’ do it differentlie.
That’s not Corey – that’s just awesome.
Rub a dub dub,
A Sparkified tub,
The motor was working I see.
It was butchered and piled
When Sparky restyled;
Now on craigslist, hopefully free.
This post isn’t even worth the effort to snark.
Speaking of whales…
I CAN SPEAK WHALE!!!
HHOOOOWWWW AAAAAARRRREEEEE YYYOOOOOUUUU TOOOODDDDAAAYYY??!?
Related news?
*looks at floor of box*
*looks at
chandaleershandylearceiling light fixture**presses button to turn box 90 degrees*
Ah, that’s better. Hammy, Punchity Punch Punch. Hope you are feeling better this morning.
Good Morning, Jacuzzi University!