YSaC, Vol. 1194: Fingerpaints … for when you can’t be trusted with paste.
2012 February 23
Elijah Origional Paintings— $15 apiece – $15
For sale are 3 Elijah origional fingerpaints. He loves to paint. As seen in pics are quite colorful. All measure 9 1/2″ by 6 1/8″. Will mat and frame for additional $15. Buyer will receive COA and pic of Elijah doing a painting. Have sold several in past few weeks. Feel free to e-mail with questions. Pics are of the actual paintings.
Fingerpainting — an untapped economic resource for the elderly!
That’s right — Kerry actually emailed the person who posted the ad, and it turns out that NanaSparky is selling her 4 year old grandson’s fingerpaintings.
In the green one, I see a giant crocodile eating a Raggedy Ann doll. Or maybe it’s Strawberry Shortcake. The third one looks like Georgia O’Keefe sat on it.
Thanks, Kerry!
I lean towards ‘that’s kind of awesome’.
A four year old that stands still long enough to paint… more than once! I could be kind of jealous, though.
Either that, or, more probably, CPS needs to be called for Nana leaving Eli’ in the paint all the fool time.
I always get “origional” after a couple margeritas.
Shame on Grandma!
I can’t get Origional anymore, I already had it when I was five.
My, my, m I mean no, not mine.
Had a flashback from when I was 3.
Some children are so priveledged. I didn’t get to fingerpaint until I was 5.
Aaah, memories…
I didn’t get to eat paste until I was 7 as well. I was the only one that got in trouble for it.
The other kids would eat paste, so I thought I would try it.
The other kids wouldn’t get in trouble, but as soon as I tried to put some in my mouth, the teacher would shake her finger at me and say, “Stop that, no.”
When did you change your name from no to One?
I’m sorry, I’m dyslexic.
Me, too! We should untie!
The jerk who made the word ‘dyslexia’ so complicated is probably the same guy who put an “s” in lisp.
Gater id
The certificate of authenticity is what makes this. For real.
The COA is probably written in that classic Grandma chickenscratch on the back of the paper you get with a botttle of pills.
Is Nonna Sparque a Notary, too?
I had to content myself with eating glue until well into my kindergarten years.
I haz a jealous.
And a tic.
*Eats one of every flavor jello shot*
*barfs on floor*
*Arrested for forging an Elijah Origional*
Bad puppy! No COA for you!
It’s been done.
http://www.odditycentral.com/videos/artists-vomit-painting-may-cause-you-to-puke.html
Damn. Beat me to it, Ghostie.
I am not clicking on that link.
Huh-uh.
Not no way.
Not no how.
*hides under bed with fluffy pillow*
That’s a good policy for everyone to follow.
I’m right there with you CJ. Now if only there was some way to erase that from my mind.
New series on the telly I’m not going to watch.
My name is Hurl
OK … I’m going to have to change my name. This is too gross to even think about.
There’s a dude who shoots paint enemas out his arse as well. Talk about art being what you can get away with…
Ain’t no power in the ‘verse can get me to click that link. Or bleach the mind pitchers out.
Unless Nana Sparkles’ grandson is some species of ape, I’m not interested.
*Tilts head*
*Squints*
*Tilts head and squints*
All right, I don’t get it. All I’m seeing is breasts in those paintings.
Ooo, I love chicken!
Chicken? Where?
*licks chops*
Stay out of the hen house, Brer. The girls ain’t workin’ tonight.
*pout*
Hey! When did Taco Magic become Tasty Steaks? Did I miss another meeting?
*Waves hand*
These are not the tasty steaks you are looking for.
Don’t play your Jersey cow mind tricks on me.
These are not the tasty steaks you are looking for.
Yeah, that’s what all the boys say….
Taco’s steaks bring all the boys to the yard.
*SNAP*
*JINGLY JINGLY JINGLY*
If y’all are going to keep encouraging him, I’m going to go lock up all the condiments so he doesn’t get any bright ideas.
Lock up the condiments!!! Lock up ALL the condiments!!!!!!!
(and I say that with great relish)
8)
I think I’ll lock the pudding vault while I’m at it, just to be safe.
Now, don’t be so hasty. You know that condiments save lives.
That’s easy for you to say, fm – you weren’t here for the Salsa & Sour Cream Debacle.
:shudders:
I still have nightmares.
Elijah was awesome in Lord of the Rings, but I must say his art is overrated.
So… how much Keefe is in that painting?
Miles O’Keefe.
That dangling part looks more like Kiefer Sutherland.
If you try to download bootleg Pudding Fire songs, do you get Kiefer dangle pics instead?
I think the dangling part looks more like Dick Van Dyke.
I thought he preferred to be called Dick Van Gogh…..
Mudsy, how do you know what Keifer Sutherland’s danglies look like?
Queef painting?
Seriously, I was waiting all day for someone to post that. And lo and behold! look who came up with it. Surprise, surprise.
*puppy gets a belly rub*
😀
*wags*
Hammy, I coulda lived perfectly happily forever never having read that.
Would you like the video instead?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Ew. What’s bad is pic #2 is the same colors and print as the fabric of my old couch.
*hawk* *blurp!*
Hey! It’s a Funky Monkey original/origional/ori-anal! Who wants to make an offer!
Mmmm…I’d rather go with “Cotton Candy Smothers a Clementine”. But feel free to turn your couch on its side, remove the back cushions, and send a photo.
I got rid of that couch almost 10 years ago. The, er, aroma was taking over the house.
You could’ve sold it as a $200 dog chew!
I actually kind of like these, at least as compared to “Rocket Eye Monster.”
That’s like saying diarrhea is preferable to projectile vomiting.
Oooh! Fun with SAT analogy questions….
42.) Diarrhea is similar to projectile vomiting like..
0 a. Volcanoes are similar to whirlpools
0 b. Sunsets are similar to sunrises
0 c. Craigslist is similar to bathroom graffiti
Well, if Granny can get $15 for framing the diaper afterward . . .
I bet this is how the rocket eye monster and Odin sculpture artists got their start.
Nanas everywhere: Please stop encouraging this. You don’t have to TELL the grandbabbies that their projects suck, you just don’t have to heap so much praise on them. Stop it. Just. Stop. For the love of Jebus, please.
Yeah, I hear ya fm….
These paintings look like a nearsighted monkey could have painted them…
What’s with the prejudice and hate?! Why!
Stop the hate! LOVE YOUR MONKEY!
I mean, OTHER near-sighted monkeys. You know…the ones over THERE. In the Old World.
Like Monkey Magoo.
Maybe it was grandma’s art
P.S. Every time this segment comes on, I look less and less forward to my golden years.
Oh, drat. The link was supposed to be her “art therapy” segment. Hello, assisted living, I’m on my way over.
Elijah: Play trucks gamma?
Grandma Sparky: No, you need to keep fingerpainting, Grandma needs bingo money.
So sad. Soon she’ll recruit all his preschool friends and have them working long hours just to fuel her economic needs. A veritable sweatshop in the making.
Wait! 9 1/2″ by 6 1/8″?
She gave poor Elijah a half a sheet of paper?
Standard paper size is 8.5 x 11 inches, so I’m thinking
Grandma found some irregulars at a paper outlet store.
It could also be from some sort of unlined notepad.
I think it’s from a prescription pad grammy nicked from the infirmary.
*discreetly hands her son a bottle of paint*
What a silly idea! Very silly!
>.>
Looking forward to the Baby Lyle originals!
Yes… silly.
:quietly covers kitchen floor in paper and dips cats in paint:
I’ll get some bandages ready for you.
Ghostie, have you read Why Cats Paint?
No, is it because they have trouble expressing themselves through interpretive dance?
My cat has adopted song as his preferred medium of self-expression.
Totally…why anyone would consider doing this is beyond me.
*feeds cat multi-colored ribbon and waits*
I’ve got two cocker spaniels and a 128 color box of crayolas. I’m sure the dogs have a passing interest in modern art.
Grampdaddy: I refer you to my comment on yesterday’s post. Housepets + crayons = brightly colored deposits in the yard / litterbox.
You should use those glitter crayons.
When the sun hits the front lawn just right…
SisterLyle — you try that with your brother. It might be interesting or it might be scary.
If those were painted by the origional Elijah, they’re remarkably well preserved since the 9th century B.C.
ghostie, be gentle with OMV in the box today. It’s not his first time, but, you know, ninjas.
You know me, Mama Windy – I’m a perfect little angel.
On a completely unrelated matter; does anyone know where I can find twenty gallons of flan, an ostrich, and some arm floaties?
Try Craigslist.
I tried but my ad keeps getting flagged. And after I specifically wrote “DON’T FLAG ME!” on the top, too.
Not in my closet. Nope.
Would you settle for a gallon of bean dip, a severly plucked cockatiel, and some Keep America Beautiful pamphlets?
Can the cockatiel whistle a medley of the Beatles’ greatest hits?
I think Ms. O’Keefe was doing a lot more than just sitting on that piece of paper. I may also have left a letter out of “sitting”.
This could only be improved upon if it came in the mail smelling of moth balls!
And if it was my Gramma, wrapped in several layers of paper towel, stuffed inside an old bread bag, and held shut with tied-together rubber bands and old twist-ties. Gramma was a saver.
Are you my long lost sister?
*Reminds me of the documentary Catfish where nutty mama sent paintings to NYC with rolls of paper towels as cushioning. But I digress….
Wait, it did what in the camphor-scented post?
Is “Elijah” yet another prophet of the Orii?
Who knew that there was that much cultural immersion into SG-1?
Speaking of, somebody ought tell Nana Spark that Harry Dean Anderson never has to fingerpaint, since he can create a full set of sable brushes and oil paint from nothing more than a handful of kibble, a paperclip, an empty Bic lighter, and pocket lint.
Now, if Ms Tapping wanted to play in the paint with me, well . . . (as long as no Abnormals are involved).
I just interviewed for a job at the other end of a 90 mile round-trip commute.
Cheese is good.
Møos are Big.
[¡EXPELTIVE!] You cannot unthink “nickleback cover band” the horror the horror . . .
Them fingerpainters
How ’bout them fingerpainters
aint they quaint?
Stickin’ they fingers in that paint.
Paintin with an index
paintin with a pinky,
Where’d ya get the brown paint?
It’s kinda stinky.
Lookit them fingerpainters, aint they young?
Tasting those fingerpaints on there tongue.
All the little fingerpainters in the school.
Momma finding fingerpaints on thier stool.
How to be a fingerpainter? no way to fudge it.
Stick your finger in some paint,
Go ahead and touch it.
Hmph.
So are those your paintings, Astro? hmmm?
Unless GrannyAstro has been saving up your artwork, it’s probably not you.
Yeah, but I just got a great idea! If we put paint into Astro’s horn, and then he plays “Stars and Stripes Forever…”
Perv…
My grandmother has not been among the living for a very long time, so that’s not really possible.
Well, the other one’s still around, but she lives in Tennessee.
I highly doubt they have things like art in Tennessee.
And The Stars and Stripes Forever is, much like The Washington Post, only to be used to annoy the ever-living daylights out of my section leader.
One and ghostie, please accept this expression of our eternal regard for your tip-top sense of humor. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Elijah Blue!