YSaC, Vol. 1193: I fish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner …
Well, this seems to have accidentally turned into Art Week here at You Suck at Craigslist. Let’s see if we can keep that going for one more day.
ink and paper to be commissioned
Title:Matthew Chapter 5 verses 20- 30 or Mark Chapter 9 verses 20- 40 performed at the Doctors office or either way.
this is going to be a drawing of a situation where a person is asked enter a mental hospital and uses a pen infront of a state doctor in a creative way
The scene actually went down something like this, imagine the scene from ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest’ when Jack Nicholsons character is being interviewed by the shrink for admittance (now Jack wants to go there instead of Jail) now imagine taking the ‘Dr’s pen’ the doctor is asking you to admit yourself saying you are getting admitted irregardless and taking that pen and stabbing out your right eyeball, (infront of a ‘medical professional’) and some ‘goons’ burst through the door with needles and stab the body (not in the eyeball) then getting locked up for about 1 year and there is this nurse like nurse ratchet only named ‘ickball’ who persistantly asks if you are cheecking your med’s sweeping under the rug the amazing miracle. This occured November 1994a.d. at Woodburn mental health faculty in Fairfax Va.Title:They put me away for danger to myself and they suggust that I take a danger job.
this is going to be a drawing of the emotions I experience having to interact with the people I interact with basically looney toons actualTitle:They are not allowed to sell me a rifle and they suggust I join the military
this is going to be a drawing of the emotions I experience having to interact with the people I interact with basically looney toons actualTitle: Mark 9, The scene from Mad Max when he(Mel) gives the “Adam Ant” guy a chance to ssave his skin by cutting off his foot with a hacksaw
in my drawing, cordless fully charged 18volt reciprocating saw is used with a wood/metal saw blade and the saw is reciprocating blade to the flesh full speed (at the ankle bone and the arm bone) and the capenters term for a reciprocating saw is ‘sawzall why? because it saws all’ said JerryTitle:If my weiner were a fish-head
Title:I only asked her to lunch
this going to be a picture likened to a scene where from scary movie 4 when the key is placed behind the blond girls eyeballTitle: God I’d rather be snowboarding
A happy scene of me snowboarding with my beautiful girlfriend or betterTitle: Boring drill
twisted use of a dewalt 18 volt cordless drill with a self tapping metal mechanical fastner installed in the drill chuck, drill, God makes good eyeballs You know they had me wearing glasses as a three year and emphasized eyeball safety even had me disect a lamb eyeball in biology lab classTitle:Tongue and cheek
a person who cross cuts through thier tongue with a barbeque fork and carving knife and get miracled back togetherTitle:No you don’t have a warrant have a nice night, why are you entering my house against my wishes
after a long day of work the police take me away soo sadTitle:Breakfast with Patty on the Lanai
an attempt to capture the wonderful emotions I have when having breakfast with my girlfriend the only redeeming grace of a sad interventionTitle:My girlfriend and I boogie boarding big smile on my face
me happy in the wavy water with my girlfriendthese events actually occurred, life like saints row video game, go to [unrelated website] to see other craigslist posting makes you think, also did not go on a smear campaign for support groups (check with Keeyly) golden rule, alive posted awhile back. trees, lightning, truthing. Who? Art in heaven : D
Email for further information I have a drawing already posted titled ink and paper
This may be the most literal use of the Ow! My eyes! tag we’ve ever had. I think I can safely say that I really don’t want to see any of these drawings. (Well, okay, maybe the “If my weiner were a fish-head” one.)
Both atomic.cate and richtbreak are responsible for adding this to my nightmares. Thanks, guys!
Why is there a new YSaC post right now? Wait… is it tomorrow? Is it my birthday? Am I dreaming? Woooo Hoooo!!!!
And I checked with Keeyly. She said Sparky’s a froot loop. In other news: the sun is warm.
Apparently it is you and me Tankerbell, you and me!
drmk musta put this up special for, just for us!
What manner of witchcraft is this?
Forsooth this tomfoolery be the work of Internet Gremlins!
Stupid ninjas.
If she weighs the same as a duck, then she’s a witch.
Yes, it’s tomorrow. Time to put on your skinny jeans.
I wanted to get the skinny genes, but alas my sister got all we had.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow. Not even a day away.
Tomorrow is the new today.
No, the Sun is a Burning Ball of Hydrogen.
….and some junk.
“my beautiful girlfriend or better”. Hmm. What would be better than a beautiful girlfriend? I’m thinking RuPAUL!!!! A beautiful girlfriend, with a bonus!
Tankgirl, I won’t fix that for you. *smirk*
Somebody needs way more than an intervention!
I think somebody is off their meds! And if you are reading what I am reading then it’s not me!
We’ll fix this poor sap up once we evaluate and get an ICD-9 status, then see what his HMO will pay for.
If my wiener were a fish head is my King Missile/Phish crossover group.
Wiener fish-head has premature issues…
If my weiner were a fish-head
Rubby ducky tubby dibby dibby diddle dibby dum.
All day long I’d liddle fiddy bum.
If I were a fish-head man.
It would be a hard on to work.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy fish,
Idle-diddle-daidle-daidle head man.
Check out the spread in the corner. They’ve got sushi, salmon, salade niçoise ….
Why the pecil references 2 days in a row? Fish wieners, one-eyed robots, grumble grumble.
Oh, I get it, we did “rack” references a few days ago.
Is there a bottle of aspirin in the corner?
Pecil is a long standing YSaC tradition. We hardly need an excuse to bring it up.
Hehe, bring it up.
I’ll be in the corner.
Long-standing…hehehe. Put my bowl over there with some coffee-flavored fish flakes.
Title: If only you realized you were a Loony Toon.
This would be a scene where Dr. Scratchnsniff gives you an inkblot test and he shows you an inkblot and you say it looks like standard pattern #5 in the rorchach series to test excessive compulsiveness. and there is this nurse and she is like Hello Nurse! but her name is really dot. And Elmer Fudd joins the military because he has a gun. and he says Be vewy quiet, bacon twacks huhuhuhu.
And Porky shows the three blind mice how to look in a mirror and see what they saw.And this will be done on green velvet with pink fingernail polish.
Title: You are nuttier than a squirrel turd.
“Irregardless”
You should find a problem with this regardless of any other issues.
Yay! That, oddly, was the first thing that jumped out at me. It must come from correcting my baby fish’s homework.
Do baby fishes come from fish-head shaped… never mind.
I’ll explain where baby fishes come from later.
Baby fishes come from baby fish bowls.
I thought baby fish were always in school.
I thought baby fish come from that little can I open up with a key.
Supposably Websters is considering making it a word.
*runs away*
I have no faith in anything anymore. *whimper*
I think he prefers to be called Supposably Websters III.
Valarie, thank you for helping me realize I’m not as crazy as Sparky. Because as much as the whole dismemberment and defenestration theme bothered me, what really made me want to put Sparky in four-point restraints and forcibly medicate him was his use of “irregardless”.
You’re welcome. There is crazy brilliance and crazy stupid. Unfortunately the latter is growing in a mad Fibonacci spiral.
This post would make more sense if it was completely blank.
Not to mention the fact that it would have more artistic merit.
Is that a fish head in your pants or are you just feeling gill-ty you haven’t kelped me with this sucker?
I thought about replying with a fish pun, just for the halibut, but I couldn’t think of one worth herring.
Yeah, I couldn’t bream myself to do it either.
Don’t forget to tuna in next week for the outcome of Sparky’s post, his masterpiece:- “Carp Dick-um: Seize the Fish Weiner”. A Sparky/Salmon Rushdie joint venture.
Well, the net result is, it’s making me eel.
And Lo! Spice Christ said unto them, “one shall come among you who is seriously jacked up, and he will be as a warning unto you, that he who taketh acid in large quantities shall not perish from the earth, but shall become massively creepifying. And verbose.”.
So sayeth the Lord. And the Snarkers were sore afraid lest he of whom Spice Christ spoke should acquire firearms.
Edit: whoa! This is spozedta be way down after capn’s comment about the bible verses.
Oh, my cod! You’re just baiting us now.
We’re trying to get you hooked.
Title: A mind is a terrible thing.
This is your brain…._______
This is your brain without meds(please see your post above)
Whyyyy did this happen? And since when was Mad Max “real life”? Oh this was not what I needed to think of or see before bed.
Night all! Nightmares forever!
Hmm. Somebody posted a page from their
dairydiary.Or, it could have been from their dairy.
Who knows what cows are thinking about when they are just hanging out in the barn.
It’s not a diary, it’s a journal.
Clearly a broken journal, as it is not holding Spark’s bearings in their race.
Title: Whiskey.Tango.Foxtrot.
How do you paint that?
Foxes don’t whiskey.
Foxes don’t tango.
Foxes don’t get the trots.
Foxes do the funky chicken.
Mmmmmm chicken.
So THAT’S why they’re always trying to get into the hen house! I never imagined it was really a booty call.
I’ll be in the corner.
Let me guess what thier offspring say instead of, “cluck.”
Yes, we do snuff films, but without the film.
I’ll be in the corner, having some tuck.
As long as they don’t do the funky monkey.
Or, worse, the blue monkey.
…and so “Chief” reveals what he really thinks after uttering his first words – ‘JuicyFruit’…
Sparky doesn’t understand the difference between “to be commissioned” and “to be committed.”
So Sparky took a half a ton of brainfarts, put it in the middle of a craigslist ad, took sawzalls and drills and implements of destruction, and headed on toward the mental health “faculty.”
Because, y’know, ink jars.
And this, ladies and gentleman, is why God made Thorazine and lithium.
Dow-Corning only plays God.
Dow-Corning makes Pam!!!!
And Pam’s mom!
Are you two suggesting that both Pam and her mom are “on the make”?
(Wondering now about what sort of Wiki article will be required to explain to the youth just what the now outmoded concept of “on the make” would be. And in a terse enough manner that would explain the humor of the parade float in Animal House reading “When Better Women are Made, Faber Men will make them.”)
Are Thorazine and lithium thought contraceptives?
Just thoughts about fish-headed male members.
And on an ADHD tangent, is it odd I still worry about Michael, the little gay fish?
Well, your gravatar IS kind of a constant reminder… don’t worry, he and the other bettas got together and made a Pride Day Float 😀
I hope his owner isn’t mean to him. Bullies and haters suck!
Do you make a pride day float with Neapolitan ice cream?
Around here I think it’s Napolio… Nappolleyon… Napoleyan… that short guy.
Thorazine = old-fashioned antipsychotic
Lithium = still in-use and highly effective mood stabilizer
Sparky = psychotic, possibly manic and has a history of hospitalization and possibly violence
Dr. Etak says, go see your shrink ASAP!!!!
They should hire this guy to write a movie script. Because let’s be honest, this post alone contains more original ideas than Hollywood has had in the last decade.
And we hereby prove the theory that originality is not always a good thing.
Originality brought us skull-Odin. And The monstrosity that was yesterday’s Freudian art.
But one man’s trash is truly another man’s compost.
Who uses a wood/metal saw blade on a foot? Idiot.
I know, right? I would have gone with a masonry blade.
Bimetalic demolition blade; EoT.
Oh, sorry! I seem to have spilled ink all over your paper! It’s so much better this way.
Dave is back in the box with the ferret tribe. Sure hope Not-a left the lid down on the facilities.
And I wiped the seatie too.
Youse can call me [censored].
Sweet Clothespin Jeebus. I guess I can forget about that sleep I was planning on having ever again.
Psycho-Sparky has a real thing going on with eyeballs and power tools. Maybe instead of mangling his eyes he should finish mangling his brain, and put us out of his misery. Eye-yi-yi, this guy has some serious screws loose. How on earth, or any level of hell, did he manage to get a girlfriend? Or is she part of the hallucinations?
Um, what is the going rate on the pun jar around here, anyway? Can we pay in jellybeans?
I don’t know, they’re pretty strict about that crap around here. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the butt chewing I got for trying to put magic beans in the cussin’ jar. Gawd!
What’s with all of the aye, balls?
Ayes yesterday, aye balls today.
Aye, ball safety, even.
Spell check my butt!
What I need a chequre on is:
Sin tacks
con techs
and that old gray mare.
Eye no, write?
Actually, “Ball Safety” was one of the orientation videoes I had to watch before my first time in the baux.
Ball Safety is IF’s AC-DC polka music cover band.
Swing your partner to the left and to the right!
Don’t tempt me.
I own an accordion. And I know at least one other person here who does as well…
We’d be transgressing the unwritten law! Hayseed-Dixie has the blue grass polka AC-DC market sewn up.
Please…I was forced to polka dance as a child in a heavily sequined vest and ribbony skirt. I’m having flashbacks of PolkaFests now. :'(
Lucky monkey! I got “Don’t Pick at That Scab”
(Hey…this was supposed to go near the Monkey’s training film comment. I call foul ball!)
“……and THAT* your Honor is how I was mistakenly admitted to Ward-B4 and have been here going on fifteen years now…”
*it was all fun and games until somebody got admitted
p.s.: In honor of the first day of Lent, I’m so glad this post referenced fish!!!
Oh, right! Cheap filet o’ fish at Micky-D’s!
Hey!!! Who’s been in my room, reading my diary!?!?!
(Even my “Recommended for you/Other snark you might like” box has nuttin’)
I thought people like you created Manifestos…not Diaries.
Well, you see…
[corey] A Manifesto is something you expect other people to read, whereas a diary you expect to keep private and not have a bunch of [censored] stomping around in![/corey]
It is possible to have both 😉 I, in point of fact, have neither. I have Facebook!!
I love a good manifesto just chock full of innuendo.
😀
Bd, you forgot the part about the crazy person who lives in the woods in Montana and randomly blows people up via the USPS.
I bet he wasn’t bothering with no stinking diary….
I’m cornfused. I thought Manifesto was Simba’s dad. You know, from The Lion King.
This is going to be a drawing of my emotion that my eyes experience having to interact with the words that are coming out of your mind which is loony tunes actually.
Title: Why haven’t you been charged with a feloony?
Ok, I had to go look to be sure . . .
Mark 9:20-40
Well, that seems to explain how Spark wound up in parental care.
Matt 5:30-30
And that is probably when the restraints were first used . . .
(APA seeming to support Bodmods only if an external, trained, persons actually execute the changes.)
I was actually going to accept his commission for the Mark 9 one, but the power tools in my drawings have constant battery problems. Maybe he’d take a discount if the charge level was at 90% or so?
Dave, I love what you and the ferret tribe have done to the box. Stunning! Amazing! Fragrant! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Little River!