YSaC, Vol. 1192: I’d perfert not, thanks.
Water Color Painting
Free painting no strings attached
Artist is giving away paintings for a limited time
Paintng title is rocket eye monster perfert for a young man’s room
It can be framed either way just turn it 90 degrees
Magic LOL
Email to arrange a pick up timeThis is the orinanal painting painted over two years a go
Its a sure bet that it will be valable one day.
Hello, and welcome to another edition of Interpreting Art. Today we have a masterpiece in watercolors, a medium frequently overlooked by anyone who has matured enough to stop eating paste.
The artist has enigmatically hinted at the deeper meaning of the painting with the title, “rocket eye monster perfert for a young man’s room”. The deliberate error in the title highlights the quest for a perfection the nameless young man will strive for but never attain. The titular rocket eye monster represents the imperfect in us, staring back at us.
The rotational possibilities suggested by the artist indicates that even with two degrees of freedom, we will never truly be free of man’s inhumanity to man.
Also, the painting title anagrams to “Poofter or mere Y-fronts racketeer. Summon agony.”
Thanks, Kathryn!
If an orinanal painting takes two years a go, Sparky needs to mix a laxative in with the water colors.
I hope it’s well sealed.
I count more than two ways this sucker can be framed. I think I lean toward framing it in intervention.
Can it be framed turned facing the wall?
Yes, but that would require touching the thing . . .
And, if I’m going to the trouble of getting to an isolation box with waldos, I’m using the handy beaker of nitric acid. And the debris from that go through HF too.
It’s that, or calling in the dust-off and standing back to orbit to nuke it from space–just to be sure, but that is ever so messy.
Cap’n, it’s the only way to be sure.
Craigslist is not the place to post this stuff.
In fact, there’s no such place.
And there’s no young man to take it if you did.
And all this art stuff I don’t understand;
I’m just a one-eyed waste of paint,
A rocket monster, a rocket monster.
And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till a taker brings me round again to find
I’m not the monster they think I am at home,
Oh no no no. I’m a rocket monster,
Rocket monster, starin’ with one eye up here alone.
OOOhhhhhh!! Now I get it!
All this time I thought it was “Rocket monster, splashed all over with cheap cologne”.
Thanks for clearing that up.
And I always thought it was “Rocket monster! Parking in a no parking zone!”
Huh! The things you learn here!
Thanks, YSaC!
So, who’s going to lead off with the obvious alien visitor jokes? Me? Oh. Ahem, ‘If I had a rocket eye monster pervert in my room as a young man, I’d be finger painting with watercolors too.’
Your momma was a one-eyed rocket monster!
Ah, yes. I nearly forgot, it’s Fat Tuesday – the holiday that celebrates the creation of the original Yo Momma joke.
A friend of mine asked: “Are skinny jeans a fashion no-no on Fat Tuesday?”
I’d say that for most people they are a fashion no-no every Tuesday, and most other days of the week as well.
Any day ending in “y”.
‘Any day ending in “y”‘
So tomorrow is all right! Yay, Tomorrow, tomorrow, I’ll wear ’em tomorrow…
IF, there’s a Ms. Weld on line one for you.
What did the One Eyed monster say to the human when it landed on Earth? “Take me to your peter”.
If it was endowed like Tommy Lee, it would be saying, “Hey, stop looking at me like that! My eye is up here, sista’!”
Thank you, FM! I needed to start the day with a good laugh 😀
I’m a helper!
*places pretentious glasses on end of nose*
Here, let me translate.
“Klatuu! Barrada! Nikto!”
Umm…I believe the ‘art’ is supposed to convey man’s imminent destruction or Junior got ahold of the fingerpaints…again.
Definitely one of those.
Sauron’s self portraits never look much like him.
I thought it looked a little flat, but I guess you have to allow for his lack of depth perception.
I’m thinking that attaching some strings could only improve the painting. Preferably lots of strings, enough to cover it up completely. Or perhaps some Silly String.
String theory, perhaps?
I’m in favor of translating this through to, oh, the 7th or 8th spatial dimension. Would not mind if such conversion reduced to a quantum potential of gravitons and tachyons, either.
Hmm, could this be the result of Higg’s bosons being irritated by the LHC?
Okay, anyone who can work ‘Large Hadron Collider’ into a post about a watercolor painting deserves all the doors I have.
That’s our Cap’n. He’s pretty spatial.
The small sculptures that my cats leave in their litter boxes are more attractive than this. But, this IS more colorful. Except for that time that Sally the siamese ate some of Mini Monkey’s crayons.
“This is the orinanal painting ” Orianal. Hum. I’m thinking some combination of folding paper and kinky sex? Anyone else? No?
monkey, we have crayons in the corner!
I can’t wait to see how cool the corner will be when Cap’n is finished with his renovation.
PS: Can I wait to go to the corner til then? Or do I have to go now?
Have the ‘swooning couches’ modeled out, going slower on “comfy chairs’ and the chaises en tête-à-tête.
AutoCAD is a wonderful tool, and capable of many things–one thing that is not native to it is in the draping of soft furnishings, so this is being a tad slow.
I imagine that fussing with the materials mix will be less-than swift, for having too many starting points, since I’ll need to create custom materials mapping–why merely map sable or ermine or mink when bantha, baa’t, and xanth pelts can be found?
Why did I just find out now about the renovations? Can we have a bit of French perferential theme? A nice bidet perhaps?
Give her only the blunt ones!
Fearless got a hold of some Christmas tinsel one year and the box was full of sparklepoop. It was quite festive.
I only use raffia around presents now. The kitties seem to like to floss their GI tract with Christmas ribbon.
I cannot use anything remotely ribbon-y or Bugsy, the Insane will ingest it.
He will then proceed to leave sparkle-puke all over the house and sparkle-poop in the box later.
Good times.
Sparklepoop = my new pet name for the Twilight series.
Jen, you are being too nice!
Sparklepoop is my Spice Girls cover band.
I knew that “Orrin” is Scot’s for pale or white of skin. Asking wiki offers up that “Orin” is a proper name derived from the Irish “Odram,” pale green. Also that “Oren” is “pine tree” in Hebrew.
“Nanal” seems to be a name used in Asia, particularly in India and Korea.
ORI is the moniker of the Office of Research Integrity; the NYSE symbol for Old Republic International; also On-Ramp Indiana, an internet service provider in the Hoosier State; and, also the last great nemesis of Stargate Command (if pronounced as “or EYE”–and, to my old-fashioned education would be better rendered as “Orii” but the fandom would flame into some form of gou’ald perdition for saying so).
Rocket Eye Monster = One Eyed Monster
perfert = typo of the word, “pervert”
young man’s room = to give him nightmares of the time that Uncle Billy touched him in ‘that way’
A trifecta of Oh So Disturbing.
Could we just call CPS for not leaving ‘junior’ a t-shirt?
Mudsy! Outta my head!
😛
“Summon agony” indeed. (That’s all I have at the moment.)
I’m seeing a deeper message in the painting. *concentrates* “All your base coats are belong to us. Someone has set us up to bomb.”
Well, that clears things up a whole bunch!
It looks like Sparky did a painting of Kang or Kudos from the Simpsons playing the role Eminem played in 8 Mile.
First timer in the box! Everyone congratulate Not-a for a job well done!
Shouldn’t we inoculate the kid first?
I had to go thru orientation and watch a film and take a drug test and all that crap before my first time. I see y’all are.
Oops, should read “I see HOW yall are”.
Does Not-a have to take the sexual harassment training? Or was that just me, because of that thing I did?
I didn’t have the sexual harrassment training, but I did have to watch hazardous material videos (“Know Your Green Fuzzy Things”, “What Is That Smell?”). That was apparantly cause of the poo-flinging. I also had to submit to a background check. Don’t know what was up with that.
These new kids don’t know how good they got it. Was a lot harder, back in the day.
*shakes cane*
I’m all alone in here, except for that one eyed rocket monster perfert!
I’M SCARED!
*sob*
Feel sorry for me yet?
No, cause there’s a top notch sound system, wide screen movie projector, wet bar, and Sven in there, too. 8)
Cool!
And we got it all on Craigslist!
How am I supposed to hang it if there are no strings attached?
You just nail it to the wall, and when you get tired of looking at it, you can do a complete remodel of the room, or just move to a new home.
Use that special rocket monster paste?
Perfert-ably.
Perfert-ably, outside.
On fire.
I don’t know what Sparky was trying for, but he managed to paint that mess in several shades of disturbing. And the Freudian undertones in the color and design are wandering towards XXX territory. I think the most valuable thing about this piece is the canvas it is painted on.
Excellent point, most artistic types are specific about the media used, and our presumptive vendor here makes no mention of water color (colour) upon what stratum.
So, this could be upon a dedicated paper; some sort of pressboard–heaven help us, it could just be wheat-paste or moldy semolina (on second thought, that would be a good thing, the ants and flies would destroy this for us).
This is probably not canvas or pressed canvas-board, as those are not generally water-absorbent, which makes them an awful medium for water-based tint imagery (barring the use of expensive tube-dispensed water color pigments applied without dilution–a ludicrously expensive method).
The colors on this *thing* don’t look like water color, they look like walmart craft aisle acrylic diluted with water. I could probably name the shades if the resolution was better. (I own most of the apple barrel colors.) On closer inspection it looks like it was done on printer paper with stenciling sponges. Water colors leave a distinctive washed look, and this looks dabbed on with something round. The fact that the edges of the painting are starting to curl is what makes me think printer paper.
“just turn it 90 degrees”
This is much better, thanks.
All I see is the edge.
I don’t know art, but I know what disturbs me…90 degrees will not save this. How about we just fire up the kiln and watch it go up? Or send it to my ex. I’m sure he can make heads or tails of this.
I don’t know art. I don’t know anyone related to art.
I do however, know what I like.
I like the fact that I can look somewhere else.
I don’t want to be to critical of those in power here, but maybe this should have been put behind the wall to spare those of us with sensitive eyes.
You see The Edge? any other members of U2?
Wait, is Bono the rocket eye monster perfert?
Hmm, all this Art about today.
And on Mardi Gras, too.
Should we require beret at the precise intersection of haute couture and insouciance? Which would probably require either a stained smock or chain-smoking Galois disdainfully.
Which means we hafta wear dum-ol’ [elder sibling’s] shirt back’ards, do’nt we <scuffs toe>?
Laissez le bon temps rouler, les gens de roquettes!
…And on Mardi Gras, too..
That painting is not a watercolor of a one-eyed robot.
It’s a religious commentary on upcoming Ash Wednesday tomorrow. The “one eye” is not an eye at all but merely the result of an over zealous priest and his ash vat Expressionism of Man’s mortality; the robot represents Humanity’s lack of both creative thinking and a soul.
Easy-peasy.
<leaves mudsy beignet & brandy; takes no notice of the illegal clove cigarettes>
*steals mudsy’s beignet*
No one from New Orleans comes bearing only ONE beignet. I’m hoping Cappy has a few more to go around. It’s all good.
*I got pancakes!*
😀
I’m sure it will be valable one day??? Um…no.
Does “valable” mean we can give it to Val Kilmer? I don’t think he’ll take it, either.
No…you can simply give it to valarie…
Pass
Well, Vala did give birth to the emissary of the Orii . . .
Yes, yes, yes. And Odin had a head like an Opossum….
I don’t have to. In my neighborhood, they pick up the trash every Monday.
That’s terrible, treating a fine piece of art like just so much trash.
Isn’t it recyclable?
I think Windy can use it to line the bottom of one of her bird cages. Re-cyclable enough?
Whoa, don’t want to disturb the conures! They’re pretty disturbed as it is.
Lucky you, we have to haul our trash to the dump ourselves.
“Magic LOL”
I think more like:
Tragic CMEO
or even GMEO with a stick!
Is a MagicLOL funnier than a regular LOL or just sparklier?
Yes. (trademark)
[matt] You people should be ashamed, yes, ashamed.
This painting wasn’t done by Sparky, it was done by Sparky jr.
Sparky is just tired of seeing it on the wall, but every time he throws it away, Jr. finds it in the trash and puts it back on the wall.
Instead of throwing it away at work or something, he puts it on Craigslist.
Aparently, nobody wants to hurt jr.s feelings, but they don’t want to encourage his artistic ability either. You should learn to read between the lines here.[/matt]
Not-A-mumble-Lion! Here’s your brand new YSaC Card. Hold it up in front of your face so I won’t miss. Punchity Punch Punch! That’s gonna hurt you more than it hurt me. 8(
Good Morning, Hasbro!
http://www.hasbro.com/customer-service/recall/Recall-Super-Soaker-Monster-Rocket.cfm