YSaC, Vol. 1187: I’d rather have the actual goat, thanks.
Authintic mohair original sofa set – $1100
Classic very stylish set for someone with a real eye and taste serious people call xxxxxxxxxx
Keri sent this in, saying, “It’s like Ron Jeremy’s set designer threw up a furball of fringe, rayon velour and faux shearling, calling it a sofa set. Even grandma would be ashamed to sit on this, but the cat will be pleased you brought it a lovely scratching post.”
Clearly I don’t have a real eye for this kind of thing, since this sofa set caused me to gouge my eyes out of my head rather than have to continue to look at it. It’s kind of creepy; I keep picturing the shearling dots as eyes, staring at me. It’s as if Chairy from Pee Wee’s Playhouse had a cameo in Boogie Nights.
Thanks, Keri!
*Please tell me that I’m not the only one cringing at the thought of touching 40-year old shearling. The sort-of-still-soft-but-kind-of-oily texture that that stuff gets? Gah. I shudder and flail my arms just thinking about it.
It made my eyes go ouch!
A mohair couch!
You know I saw it on a Craigslist ad.
Oh, oh,
S-s-s-sparky and the Jets!
You and the ferret have been feeling very musical lately.
I must have a fake eye.
What’s the name of your other eye?
I don’t get it.
I’ve got one you can borrow, but I need it back by Friday. I’ve got to go to the DMV to take a driving test and the examiner gets a bit jumpy if you show up wearing an eyepatch.
I love your new show, Fake Eye for the Real Guy.
That blanket isn’t going to be big enough to cover the entire couch. I suggest getting one of those big blue tarps.
I must admit, I have tasted serious people. Entirely overrated. Personally, I prefer the taste of clowns, but they can taste kinda funny sometimes.
It’s been so long since I tried a serious person I probably wouldn’t recognize one if it bit me on the ass, mostly because serious people tend to not do that sort of thing in public.
Being bitten by them is still preferable to the taste of serious people. Vitamins, green vegetables, tofu, and cold showers are not very interesting.
Ok, I just got through watching this week’s Being Human*, so I’m getting an odd mental twitch from considering tasting, or being tasted by, a sirius-human.
____________________________________________
* The US-SyFy series; I’m still collecting the BBC series on DVR.
Seriously?
Occasionally.
A Møøse once bit my sister…
I had some dreams,
they were clowns in my coffee,
clowns in my coffee,
and you’re insane,
you prob’ly think this couch set is for you.
Oh no, my this is missing.
*pout*
Mama Windy can occasionally be sweet-talked into editing comments, if you offer to email her some birdseed.
Email? I thought you poured it into the “cupholder.”
Bribery: I’m doing it wrong.
Once you get it in the cupholder you have to email it to her, otherwise it might get lost in the Intertubes and wind up at some strange parrot’s computer.
Strange Parrot’s Computer is IF’s Jimmy Buffett cover band.
It’s hard to be missing your this, I know from personal experience. I too suffered from Seasonal Herniated Inactive This (otherwise known as SHIT). SHIT was hard to deal with, but with medication and treatment I was able to put SHIT behind me. I’m so glad that SHIT is over with. SHIT was hard to live with.
We have a support group called Association of SHIT Sufferers. Google our initials to find groups in your local area. Trust me, there are plenty.
I don’t know how to e-mail. I can get the “a”, but how do I get the little circle around it?
I use a Sharpie.
Okay, Brer, this first one is free. Next one will be at the usual rate. 8)
Ahh, I’m commentin g in the wrong place again.
Thank you Mama Windy.
*hugs*
Clowns taste like sad rubber noses and dusty crepe paper flowers.
And desperation.
Is there such a thing as a happy rubber nose?
There is, but I’ll have to go to the corner to explain it to you.
Shhh! You are all seriously risking the return of D-e-p-r-e-s-s-y!
Windy, some things should be depressed, like the urge to post furniture like this and call it sty-lish.
Perhaps I was thinking oppressed or suppressed.
?
I don’t think I’m bright enough to be Sirius.
Ow! Dang, my pun senses don’t just tingle, they jump up and down on my head! 8)
Funny ha ha,
Or funny tainted?
Which chair would go better with this hat; the red or the blue?
http://polarisanalytics.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/purple_pimp_hat.jpg
Yes.
I’ll go with that Not. A. Red. Or. Blue. One. But. The. Blend.
No.
Yahtzee!
Wait, what were we doing?
“Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo, hey Mo look at the couch nyuck nyuck nyuck nyuck nyuck.”
*slap* *bonk* *poink*
Dummy up you. you got the money fur it?
How ya gonna walk down the street wit’ dignity ownin’ dat thing, huh?
Ya idiot, jus forgetaboutit.
Personally I’d prefer a sofa that has LESS hair.
I’ve got three cats so pretty much all my furniture (and clothes) have about this much hair on them.
Your cats are blue and purple??
I haz a jealous.
Fearless and Firefly are going through an experimental phase, every time I turn around they’ve dyed their fur a different color and gotten another piercing.
Kids! You know I love ’em!
“Hello, officer Smith?”
“Yes”
“I believe we have located the items that were stolen from the mall Santa display…”
“Authintic ”
That’s how you can tell it’s real, it still twitches, trying to get the tics to drop off.
I thought authintic meant they starved those poor little mo-goats.
I thought an “authnit” was one of the parasites that orbit around professional writers . . .
Authintics: as in ‘Au, look at those thin ticks’
I wonder if we can get Cee Lo Green’s chair on The Voice replaced with one of these.
Plush you.
Bwaa haa haa haa haa. Hee hee hee.
I’m *snerk* sorry guys *guffaw* I’m not going to *snort* be able to buy this. Haa haa haa haa. Someone else will have *woo hoo hoo* to. I just *pppptttth* can’t *hee hee hur hur ha…
REALLY!!!! This came from santas wish list…. waaahhhhaaahhhhaa
I kind of like these in a terrible way. I actually like the blue and red shades. The styling is slightly (just slightly?) over the top but could be moderated by decor that balanced it out (also if it were one color, say, a neutral). The fringe along the bottom of the couch alone would provide years of entertainment for household felines.
But … but … mohair? Ancient shearling? *joins drmk in shuddering and flailing*
I like how it gets that nice crust on it. It tickles the face when you’re wallowing in the oily smear of hair.
You just made my neck spasm. That wasn’t very nice.
Uh, Lola, I know it’s Valentine’s Day and all, but the only “decor that could balance it” would be a leg lamp, a velvet painting of a lion [a striped one], and being placed in the basement of Graceland.
Was that kinda of what you had in mind?
8)
The leg lamp would need (per Graceland’s Jungle Room) tiger-striped shades, but other than that, yes. The “Midcentury Bordello” look would then be complete.
*hides leg lamp from A Christmas Story under bed*
Pfft! Yeah! Some people just got no taste. Yuck!
And the “naked lady table” too, n’est ce pas?
I was thinking it would go perfectly in my room with the bear paint and tiles…
Only if you are putting the paint on the couch set! Of course, you have six months of darkness, so that could make the difference.
Ya, these things always look better in the dark!
You’re not alone, Lola. I kinda like it too. I just could never touch it.
I don’t know what shearling is, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want it.
[corey]It’s trimmed sheepskin, like what they make Ugg(ly) boots out of. [/corey]
So it’s made of ugliness and unshowered coeds?
Ummmm, those would be pretty much one and the same, Kelli.
Yes, there is a reason they are called “Ugg’s” . . . (doubly so downwind)
Shearling is a variety of ancient Chinese scissors.
You may approach the box with reverence and bees, and someone give Taco his meds.
Coffee slices, extra thick! With vanilla sugar and caramel syrup! Stat!
Dr. Shearling’s
One couch
two couch
red couch
blue couch
mo’ hair
no hair
nowhere
no chair
*snaps fingers in appreciation*
I would not, could not buy this couch.
I would not, could not. Eyes go ouch!
I could not place it here or there.
I would not place it anywhere.
Now, listen here, you Spark-you-are.
Please take them. Take them! Take them far!
Old, greasy wool I don’t admire.
Take them away! Kill them with fire!
And when that’s done, I do beseech
Then cleanse them from my mind with bleach.
And one more thing, then we’ll be done.
Say “sorry” to the Llamanun. (BBUH)
I think Sparky meant this set is for someone with a hairy eyeball and taste..
Once3 you buy these, you then need to redecorate the rest of the house.
Or Sparky wanted the Second-Life & Sims city people to stop calling about licensing the images for use in the games . . .
Hello, Valentine’s gift.
It’ll match the whore stained headboard, because every home should be decorated like a bordello.*
*just my opinion because I think these are ugly. Who else hears “Surrey with the fringe on top” ?
Speaking of whore stained headboards, I am now sort of in the market for a new headboard/footboard/bed frame set, and when I was wandering around the furniture store (having chosen the mattress, etc.) I actually found myself wondering if they had customized ones, for those who want to sleep on the famous “whore side of the bed.” I was a little surprised not to find this in my neighborhood.
I wonder if the whore-side-factor would involve the mattress rather than the headboard. Just wondering.
I wish those guys would pull up in their van, tires squealing, jump out and run into Sparky’s House of Atrocities and somehow make it all right again.
This is like one of those designer competition shows where I laugh uproariously and think “oh, this loser’s going home!” only to see the judges love Haunted Chairy and the Mohair Monstrosities, leaving me bewildered and disillusioned. And reaching for the remote to switch to Hoarders.
I think Sparky should send this furniture to Sheep Camp.
Yes, I’ve been reading the archives again – why do you ask?
Mo-hair? What, like Rogaine? I’ll see if hubby is interested, certainly looks cheaper than the Hair Club for Men.
What’s furniture got to do with it, though?
OT: Grandbaby #7 arrived yesterday afternoon. She’s pretty and pink and healthy and we are all very happy.
I thought it felt like there was a little more awesome in the world! Good to hear that everything’s okay.
Congrats, CJ, and please some pictures at the Friends’ Place when you have them. 8)
Yes, one more positive force in the world.
Congrats!
This particular Sparky is a furniture dealer, going by the various stuff in the background. And it might be my OCD, but in my mind it takes more than being the same style to be a set. It drives me nuts seeing couches of different colors in the same room. THEY DON’T MATCH!!! if the color/ fabric/pattern is completely different. I don’t understand the so called “coordinates” that have nothing in common.
On a side note, there is not enough Blue Coral in the world that would get me to sit on those without a few layers of couch covers in between. Even furniture that no one has ever used gets a decided “aura” after a few years.
I’ll take a dozen…
wait, what?
Ooooh, shearling couches, not shearling condoms.
nevermind.
Are shearling condoms all white and fluffy/fuzzy, like the arms on these chairs? Huh. Must be a regional thing.
Blessed llama-nun, you already own the intertubes so you don’t need your card punched! TC and Taco Something, hold those cards up high! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Paul Reubens!
I think the demon goat couch just ate my soul…
So, you’re saying people use goats for their hair? Huh, Imagine me learning something about using goats.
I think I’m having an identity crisis.
8) I always suspected.
I love that movie!….”The Usual Suspected”…
I want to change my avi but they have some new rule about getting an account 🙁
There’s no cost to the account, or at least last time I checked there wasn’t. And you can store a bunch of avis there. Be sure to say it’s rated G no matter what or you can’t use the picture.
Thoughts on reading the comments from just over a year ago:
1. C””J’s grandbaby is now 16 months old!
2. Goats are really useful, once you get used to the smell.
3. We have lots of regular commenters who haven’t joined us on Facebook.
If you wish to become one of the in-crowd, please friend me on FB (But tell me who you are here, so I know to accept the friending) and once we finish up the initiation process, you’ll be in!
Demi Hungerford aka Windrose
Is there a secret group !?
We’ll teach you the secret handshake and everything. Bring a rubber chicken and a quart of molasses.
…but no tissues!
Rubber chicken
Rubber gloves
Rubber glue
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rubber the wrong way…
Love it when you talk dirty to me, OMV !
Windrose…”Thoughts on reading the comments from just over a year ago:”….#4.Bad taste and poor judgement never go out of style. You know there are some people today looking at those pictures, thinking,…”AWESOME”….#5. Did Awesomesauciness have her name legally changed to “C…J” ? Or are you guys trying to confuse me? (again?)
Nojazzi, yes, we are trying to confuse you. OR CJ is. She started out as CJ. Nice. Then she started her blog titled Awesomesauce, and occasionally posted as awesomesauciness. Then we had a day where everyone was putting a quote in the middle of their handle. C””J was born, and never looked back. The end. That’ll be 2 pounds of bird seed for the map. Just pour it in the cup holder.
Thanks for info-here’s your birdseed. Hope you like it EXTRA-SPICY. Ave Maria!!!!!!
Line up, line up! No pushing! Princess L, C””J, and Dave. By the power vested in me by the Llama-nun and Ostrimu, I now pronounce you Punchity Punch Punched!
Good Morning, Antique Roadkill!