YSaC, Vol. 1184: I like the part with the qg0kp.
Yesterday’s spambot incompetence got me looking in that category, and I thought I would share a few more examples with you.
take my mind off of all of this drama – 31 (where ur at )
My goals in your life since at this time are to graduate college then one day open my personal bakery!!! I enjoy country music all night towards the movies. Sometimes a good deal , the like my leisure time I merely prefer to relax and hang up out with friends!!
Well, I’m pleased to announce that I have met her goals in my life. Well, at least one of them — I have graduated from college, but I haven’t opened her own personal bakery yet. (It’s your own …. personal … bakery …. Someone to make you bread; someone well-read … )
I am looking for cash – w4m
Hi guys, I am tiffany and i am very special and am looking for guys with a hundred dollars minimum to see me.
I am a chick that loves cyber fun too. i am on here now live [skeezy cam site URL]
I am 24 but am quite inexperienced with men sexually. i mean ive had many dates with guys but not really much action.
I am tabitha and am a brunette sharing a apartment with my female cousin.
Oh, Tiffany. You were doing SO well until the end there. I appreciated your honesty, and almost believed that you weren’t a fat, hairy Eastern European man.
Gently used ! willing to negotiate IPAD 1 AppleCare latest model – $350
piAx PezZuk78 SMWIPD8E Qkytnk HOulBO2HA isgvrwHwdSPn acb78aD WTTbodFpooQN m7ml4swAPKIC jqV CHxSmxwf lM5oft3QUi VjmfPfM5sC8 VXo2dfy7vO
0Se nzdEGMO 3x3Y57 ubzQTkGdy54 UrvBCAuiQNz edZ6e0c ZelK354 UexYRBWk qg0kp FfN gF7WGTxpF1x OnIJdmXOIGoX MB
CI7fhT kUELSPc31 MVr3ao9sPo GeComP9WFVj RGXzW 84 elidSWBKPlM 2CMbg89j31ha rS BKHtczfx3 aWcnFaW6dtT zow2lA4E mZ3RQtR 0gmV ui8wHGpGVH TuGc2Cd0Xx
dDzJoXgYRwu JuTrurgP 5faHZZ3ZqUMm Dp
Kl s6 6XRkm4 LQ2xd h8y JgL1ELQn4Zm X9MRF8IEJp KeBnJpZ9 iKwcDxmAfdw BC8M up7G9GWFz RIhCRjJ kwU2pQ7H34 RGXz t4QJk S2P IGlEOsUedwAD 9o oBbr2MmV hExILx5BC
I can’t tell if this person is actually trying to negotiate, or is just trying to code something in Perl. Google Translate thinks this is in Maltese. My neighbor has one of those dogs, and I’ve never heard it say anything even remotely similar to this.
Thanks for the spambattyness, Mike, Kate, and BianchiSound! (Hey, check out that nifty BS tag over there! It’s well past time for it — he’s contributed a lot of wonderful things to YSaC!)
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don’t get free verse poetry.
I’ve never understood free verse pottery, either.
I’m wondering if this isn’t reverse poetry.
I’d say the second one is slightly perverse poetry.
The second verse
Is so very perverse.
I have to make a grammatical objection to your use of the word “slightly,” above, fo insufficiency.
To the point made though, you did not really think the vaguely-hominid types at the ad agency made up the CapitalOne “Judy” on their own, do you? (If you did, I exalt and champion your estimation and expectation of the innate creativity of persons in the ad business.)
I think his name “Peggy”, Cap’n.
Oops.
Shows the level of attention to detail I give such things (or, too much Scrubs <G>).
Hey, Cap’n, I like the new avatar.
Where is the Eggman?
O Tiffany, Tabitha, wherefore art thou whichever?
Deny thy spambot, and pick out a name,
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be a Sparkulet.
Shall I hear more, or shall I click “Reply”?
’Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself though, not a PezZuk78.
What’s PezZuk78? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O! ope thy bakery:
What’s in that bread? That which we call a roll
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So PezZuk78 would, were he not PezZuk78 call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. PezZuk78, doff thy name;
And list to country music through the night
Towards the movies.
That last one was written by our own TypoMagic. I’d recognize those mugs anywhere.
Boy, that’s an old one too. I wrote that about 10 years ago when I was still hunting for just the right tortilla to settle down with. One of the monkeys must have been hiding it or something.
Yep, there it is again. The monkey hating. EVEYTHING is the fault of monkeys. Global warming and childhood obesity will be blamed on us next.
Well, actually, we may be partially responsible for the global warming problem. We do emit a lot of methane. ‘Cause, you know, bananas.
Oh dear, the monkey was dissed.
*ducks head in anticipation of poo flinging*
<<<Reads above, brain uses coffee in random sequence and offers up both
“ninja monkey farts” and “monkey ninja farts”
before collapsing into a cerebral singularity more hippopotamus than hippocampus
Becasue, well, y’know . . .
>>>
I just thought I’d let you all know. I’m really a spambot. I have been for years, since before I even started commenting here.
I’ve been hiding this from everyone. Friends, family, people I meet on the street. Everyone. I’m sorry to you all for living the lie.
I’m a haunted couch and am an ottom living with my favorite doll.
I’m really a small giraffe. Typing with hooves is a pain, and I get such a crick in my neck every time I use the laptop.
Shhh….I iz a kitteh.
I iz one keystroke away from world dominashun!
I am Jack’s complete lack of suprise.
OMG! IT’S STEVE-O!
Yeah, up to my eyeballs in alligators. I haven’t had much time to pecil in some snarking.
I am a walrus.
You and Paul, so I’m told.
Am I a haunted hawk? A bedazzled deer hoof? Oh, wait, I’m Bea Arthur!
I am a blancmange from outer space bent on winning Wimbledon. *jiggle jiggle jiggle*
Hey, that looks fun!
*SNAP*
*Jingly Jingly Jingly*
I Am Legend!
(o/t: I Googled “I am” to see what to post here, and about 3 entries down was this:
christwire.org/2009/02/i-am-extremely-terrified-of-chinese-people
What’s wrong with some people’s kids?)
Don’t worry, in about an hour they won’t be afraid anymore.
I yam what I yam!
I ‘m Popeye the sailor man.
“i am very special and am looking for guys with a hundred dollars minimum to see me. ”
Even my terra cotta Lionel Richie head rolled his eyes at this one.
I’m even more special; I require guys with standards! 8)
I’m special, so special. Got to have some of your hundred dollars; give it to me!
….my Precious….”
Mike!
Yes, Mike is a more worldly fellow, used to the topics put forth here. My Siamese and my son’s sarcastic “thumb’s up” toddler picture just didn’t seem apt Gravatars. Must..preserve…innocence!
Bernard!
Janet! Dr. Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky!
Chief.
McCloud!
Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It’s a twister! It’s a twister!
*sniff, eyes well up*oh the memories
Does that play anywhere anymore?
(referring to RHPS)
Buffy? Jody? Mr. French?
Saw the stage show of Rocky Horror just over a year ago. Hilarious. The narrator was Christopher Biggins – one of the ‘crowd’ in the film. He was very, very camp and gave the audience as much abuse as he got.
[crossing the streams {& the late DeForest K}]
[/crossing]
Beuller…
Beuller…
WTTbodFpooQN
heehee…they said “poo”
Or misspelled “poon”.
Ah! You beat me!
Yes I did. That’ll be $100, please.
*scratches thru pockets*
In lieu of $100, will you take some Tic Tacs, a movie ticket, a perfume sample, an odd button, and some smashed up tots?
WOHOO! Deal!
Wow, you’re so easy to please and get along with, TM. I tried to make that same deal with our electric company and they got down right snippy. Short, even!
I was like “Come on, the water company took magic beans last week!” and they were all like “No, we have to have legal tender! Come back in her with real money, and by the way, wear pants next time!” and I was all like “Man, what a bunch of Nazis….”
*Monkey trails off mumbling to self. This will teach her to stop her meds cold turkey*
“smashed up tots”?
Do you live in a gingerbread house? Have the macerated urchins been fried in a monosaturated medium?
Will the condiment be tomato-based, or an amalgam of sugar, spice, snails, and puppy-dog tails?
Or, have i confused rural Tennessee with the Scottish Play?
Congratulations, Bianchi Sound, on your own, personal tag. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go fondle the bear picture from my submission a few days ago.
Whoa, TMI Windy
Note: a suit of armor might be appropriate for your plans. We like you and want you to survive. Just a thought.
And don’t forget that other “protection”, wink wink.
Better than going bearback.
I went there.
Introducing the new Slutomatic! Get your red hot sluts right here in the comfort of somebody’s apartment! Not available in stores! Act now and you will only pay 15 payments of OBOs and one hundred dollars minimum. We will also need a kidney and your last will and testament. If you call now, we’ll DOUBLE that offer! That’s right, you’ll get Tiffany AND Tabitha. They’re easy to store because they are two personalities stuck in one hot 24 year old inexperienced-but-still-on-a-sex-cam body! So act now!
But what if one is looking for something more along the lines of, oh I don’t know, an “Amber” or “Bethany”?
Try our new Slutmeister 6000! Most of the same functionality as the Slutomatic, but with more names!
Sure, the slutmeister has more names, but it’s slow.
When I want some, I want it NOW!
But wait; there’s more! Be one of our first 1,000 callers, and we’ll throw in this free Swedish device — perfect for your underground lair when you’re having a feud with the neighbors.
Like that one in the Austin Power’s movie? MINE!
[foreign-made woodworking tool corey]
There once was a woodworking company in need of what that industry calls a “single point machine.” Said term of art referring to a machine that performs one operation only, but in a precise, repetitive, no-set-up-in-advance sort of way.
Said machine used a sharp blade to cut a precise dado into whatever face of a wood blank was aligned therein. So, it made a machined groove, or slot, on demand.
Whoever ‘remarketed’ that machine relied upon a phonetic translation from whatever asiatic language had been originally used to make its English appellation.
Yes, boys-n-girls, It was a SlutoMatic. A SlutoMatic Supreme Deluxe no less. <sigh>
[/machine name corey]
So… it got it’s slot on extremely well.
208V 3phase reliability every time you clamped the work in properly and pushed the foot treadle, for sure and certain.
Unless the clowns in Maintenance had gundecked the slotting blade sharpening schedule; or if Purchasing changed grades on sheetgoods stocks (that extra 1mm of thickness does matter, after all).
I will be using “Slutomatic Supreme Deluxe” in some future conversation, I can assure you.
Note: Friends and family sometimes wonder how in the world I come up with some of the trivia that I rain down upon them on occasion…thanks, Capn!
I think the first person has lived next to me. It explains why the Country music was so loud, she was playing it towards the movie and you have to have it really loud to get it heard at the nearest movie theater.
Sure Happy It’s Thursday! Taco Salad in the box, and all is right with the world. 8)
Taco Salad is my stage name in the adult entertainment circuit.
You’d like what I do with sour cream and hot sauce.
Really? Are you sure?
IjwmfaIcdatwt
(I Just washed my fingers and I can’t do a thing with them)
ttruy uydsiuon muyghsd@!
Wty, It.
(Why thank you, I think.)
Translation: Try using mugs!
please
inform
Alvin
xenophobe
Please
enter
zoo
Zeke
use
key
78
Small
Male
With
I-
Pod
Does
8
Elk
Quiet
keep
your
title
not
known
*this code breaking is hard*
Hurry up! I need that code and two pairs of plans!
Hey OMV, how’d you get my password?
It was a fluke, I promise I’ll forget it. My short term memory is about as long as a goldfish’s……
this must be real hard….. how did you get SB’s password?????
My own tag! You like me. You really like me!
But seriously, YSaC didn’t have a BS tag yet? How is that even possible?
I think, given the nature of the site, a BS tag would have been a little redundant.
@valarie… re: Rocky: The Bloor in Toronto plays the film on the last Friday of every month with shadow cast and full partici……..pation. At least it did, until the Bloor went into renos. I was a shameless Rocky Whore in the first few years of university…
Taco, Taco, Taco! Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, PezZuk78!
Ow! My Spleen!
Whoa! Does saying your name three times always summon you?