COUCH
in great working order we still love the couch just got another one just needs back cushions coming from a pet home does have some kitty wear but a great bachlor pad or getting on your feet couch and it free please get it out of my apartment you pick it up were on the 2nd floor you need to move it first come first serve thank you
Baarroo?
Thanks for the neck cramp, Mackenzie!
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Were these photos taken from the ceiling or is the couch lying on its back?
It came from Hackensack, it made a fortune on its….career.
My eyes deceived me. The couch is standing on end and the photos are sideways. That’s what happens when you comment in your sleep.
I hear the secrets that you keep when you comment in your sleep.
ARRRGGGGHHH! EAR WORM!
Hi Ho! Kermit the Couch here, welcome again to The Sparky Show.
Boy, we’ve got a great show for you today, because our special guest star is that wonderful actress and comedienne, Bea Arthur (in cardboard cutout form)!
Many doors for Muppet references. Kids these days, with their Yo Gabba Gabba.
I blame Barney, children’s television was fun before that purple bastard showed up.
Yaaaay! (flails wildly)
I wonder if some enviro group has stolen “It Ain’t Easy Being Green” for a commercial yet.
No, but “Pistachios” has. How a nut has been endorsed by a frog is beyond me.
It is just not the same with the “new” Kermit voice. Which is now 22 years old, but my childhood memories die hard.
“it does have some kitty wear”
I picked up a stray russian blue tom. Was shaped like a bulldog. You know, real muscular shoulders, snaggle tooth, notch in his ear.
I put a turtleneck sweater on him once. He looked just like one of those bulldog school mascots. He seemed to be fine with it until my sister’s cat came over and teased him about it. Maybe there shouldn’t be kitty wear. Kitties should stay in the fur.
I put a sweater on my Russian Blue once, he just flopped over on the floor and gave me this look like I had just shot him. No more kitty wear after that.
I still wear scars from my attempt at keeping my Siamese warm with a turtleneck. Heated kitty beds it is, ma’am.
I’ve got some from my failed attempt to trim their claws by myself. Now it’s a two person job that requires plenty of tranquilizers. Sometimes we even give some to the cat.
ghostie, if you and your claw trimming partner are ever in San Diego, I have some parrots for you to tackle. Bring rope.
Storytime!!
You know how when you come home from a long day at work and your teenage daughters have strewn clothes all over the house?
It’s like there’s a clothing stampede you’ve just interrupted and the assorted sweaters (in this case) freeze in mid-stampede and lay on the floor hoping you won’t notice.
C’mon, I cannot be the only one to whom this has happened!
Really?
Well, it did and for once my slovenly teenagers were not to blame.
Only I didn’t believe their story.
It seems, they said, that our cat – Bugsy, the Insane – had a *fondness* for sweaters. He’d open the dresser drawer, take out a sweater and proceed to push it around the floor with his head until he was successful at getting it on. He’d then prance around the house in his new *clothes* until he tired of the sweater he was wearing and went to get another.
This particular day they’d spent a good many hours just watching him do this, and laughing themselves silly.
I stood at the doorway, listening to what was *obviously* a lie, and felt my face getting hot.
I was tired, I was cranky, I was NOT in the mood.
“Dammit! You two clean this shit up right now!” I yelled.
“But Mom….”
“Don’t *but* me young ladies, the cat did not make this me—-“
It was then that I heard the sound of something being dragged across the floor, and out of their room prances Bugsy, the Insane wearing his *new* clothes.
My cat Zeus, when he was a kitten, used to steal mr. mudsy’s underwear and take off down the stairs with it. Alas, his lack of making good choices has continued to follow him into adulthood.
My sister’s cat 8, would steal any food she could, frozen meats, donuts and the like. But she was terrified of mice.
CJ: Mini Monkey’s cat Carly will do that with plastic department store bags. She will scoot and pat until she gets handle of the bag around her neck, and then she twists like she’s walking the runway at a fashion show. So weird. The other kitties are afraid of the sound the bags make when you rattle them. Bizarre critters.
I got one of those pet-paw things that look like a Dremel tool, I was concerned that they might be scared of it so I laid it on the couch so they could get used to it. They started licking and trying to eat the little sanding wheel. I turned it on and my genius cats still tried to eat it.
Maybe Sparky was using an Austrailian camera and forgot to reset it to take American pictures.
We still love you couch, and it’s because we love you that we don’t want to be with you. It’s a complex emotion.
Our love is like an onion, it contains many layers and a close examination of it will make you weep.
Hey, that pretty well describes the couch too!
If you love something, replace it with a new one.
If you put it in Craigslist, and nobody comes and takes it, it’s still yours.
You’ll have to haul it downstairs and kick it to the curb yourself.
I’ve just shed an actual tear. *sniff*
Sounds like the couch may have an actual tear as well. Probably from the kitty.
[re: Above]
I’m torn over whether that ought be pronounced
RHEE ahl Ki’i’ EE tiers
Rhal Kate EE TAY hers
or
Throat-warbler Mangrove, the way it’s spelt
[/re:]
I can see how it would be a good “getting on your feet” couch. No cushions, and it’s on its side…how can you relax on that? But what would the bachelors do with it?
I bet Sparky is saving the cushions so he can build a fort with his new couch.
Do not look here:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1871298439052&set=p.1871298439052&type=1&theater
Especially not in the bottom left corner . . .
I’m sorry, but just how is a couch “in great working order?” What if I want to use it as a blender? Or a swimming pool?
I take it it’s sparkly and has problems during a full moon. BTW, I’m on Team Broyhill.
Soggy sofa your the one. You make swimming so much fun.
You could use it as a teeter totter.
Rock climbing.
Cocktail table for really tall people.
Get another one and make a padded coffin/produce bin!
“in great working order”
It sat against the wall like a rape date until the cushions went out on it.
(sorry about this one in advance)
That’s one, OMV. *makes note on clip board*
Why waste time taking pictures of the things you’re selling with a camera? It’s so much easier to use Google maps.
I don’t recall Barney Google ever using a map.
I don’t recall Barney Google having a couch.
To be honest though,
I don’t really recall Barney Google.
I do however recall Snuffy Smith.
Poser Couch – such a diva.
Hipster Couch planks vertically to be ironic.
Yes, I know what you mean, I don’t care for staged photos.
I like my subjects acting natural, like they don’t even know you’re there.
The North American Red Crested Couch is one of the rarest varieties of couch still found in the wild of the North Eastern United States and lower reaches of Eastern Canada. Poaching for their valuable fabric and trapping for pets had all but driven this species to extinction by the 1970s but, through focused conservation and captive breeding, this beautiful couch is making a come back.
Here, we see a female. Her drab brown coloring helping her blend into the shag carpet and dull wall paint of her natural habitat: an inexpensive college flat. To avoid preditors, such as this pack of sofa-tables, she can remain motionless for hours often even allowing other wild life to perch upon her for extended periods of time.
Every year in the spring you can see their unique spawning ritual. The males and females alike migrate out to the curb where the mating begins. They stack themselves, the male upside down upon the female, and remain motionless for several days. This is a dangerous time for the male because his colorful markings make him an easy target for roaming college students in search of a quick meal. In this case though, the mating succeeds and the couches separate. The female quickly lays some cushions, which will eventually hatch into dining chairs that will make their way back to the flats which will be their only habitat while they grow into adult couches.
Many couches will continue to migrate around through a large territory, mating every few years when the instinct to spawn brings them out to the curb. Other couches, like this one, have become too old to make the return migration to the flats. It will die here, on the curb in the spawning grounds. Roaming scavengers, such as this large male Dump Truck, will make short work of the carcass. Thus the cycle of this couch’s life is at an end.
I was waiting on someone to do this. Good show! Brilliant! Golf clap!
*Looks at comment. Looks at box. Looks back at comment.* Sigh.
<in hipster-quality posh-snob accent:>Poser couch sofa divan davenport.
I believe the term is “divan.”
Aaah!!!! Cappy, get outta my brain!!!!! 🙁
But it’s so, so comfy and grey-pink in there . . .
Blech!
You’re right, of course.
It’s not a diva unless it’s draped in a lap blanket and pillow. Accessories are everything.
“please get it out of my apartment”
The voices! They tell me to jump on the cushions! To put clothes on the kitty! To post sideways photos on Craigslist! MAKE IT STOP!
“please get it out of my apartment”
Made me wonder if it returns like a haunted hawk; the cushions have already gone to join the haunted dolls . . .
Monica, I hope the box isn’t in too bad a state of disarray. Feel free to crank up the music to cover up any bad smells. 8)
I need a computer monitor that can rotate on the stand. These sideways pictures give me a terrible headache. And combined with Sparky’s lack of punctuation it makes me feel like my brain might trickle out through my ears.
Both pictures are from the same angle. I want to see the legs.
Mmmmm, drumsticks, tastes like chicken.(hope, hope, hope)
true true !!!! If I want chicken I’ll order CHICKEN !!!!!
Urggggggg
It’s the equivalent of Poe’s “Black Cat”. Only a couch, or technically a loveseat. Though I hesitate to use the word “love” here.
Gah! This was supposed to go under Capn’s “haunted hawk” comment. May I blame the ubiquity of Sparkies for my inability to hit the “reply” button?
“Ubiquity of Sparkies” is IF’s Roy Ayers cover band.
Sofa, so good.
Sofa King Good. 8) Oh, look, the corners have croissants today!
I bet that thing is hard on the back.
Hmm, usually when I take pictures of things that are oblong, like people, I hold the camera sideways so they fit better. But it’s not working on this couch very well. Hmm.
*Turns couch*
AHA! Got it!
Monica, do come and stay again at Hotel Box. I’m sure it’s not as good at the hotels you have in America’s Hat, but at least we have a decent sound system. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Sofa King!